Dear Savvy Friend,

Recently I’ve had a few reminders of the importance of this Truth when it comes to going for your dreams; whether it’s to have a loving, reciprocal relationship – build a business around a vision-  or simply to live a rich life with lots of FUN and reward.

You must be willing to take your own journey.  And by this, I mean wake up to YOU, what YOU need, and what’s in your heart. Despite being perhaps a very independent woman in the world, are you honoring your needs and desires-  in what you want to create for yourself both in relationship and in life?

When you do, when you step out into the true unknown, and you ‘burn the ships’ (your safety nets of old, outworn patterns, and sometimes things, like a relationship if it’s not going to work, job or friendships) – this is when you truly are ‘carried’. You’re carried out of the ‘unwanted’ and ‘outgrown’, and into a new land of your dreams.

Taking our own journey means keeping our eye on ‘our prize’. 

I remember when I was single and feeling ‘less-than’ because the man I was dating wasn’t showing up for me the way I needed him to (as in letting down his guards, planning more for the future, etc) and how, rather than honor my needs, my heart and my vision, I would continue to look at how I could be different – sexier, more confident, more beautiful, more witty, more successful.  All I needed to do was love myself enough to admit, ‘Yikes. This doesn’t feel so great’, and then step out on faith and belief that my desire wanted me just as much as I wanted it. (You can replace this relationship desire with anything: health, finances, new employment, entrepreneurship).  

Once those two click in, loving myself enough and stepping out into my own journey on faith, the steps to show myself and the Universe that I was serious about my desire became much easier, despite including sometimes painful choices that would scare the hell out of me.  And still do, as I am applying this to the creation of my business and working for myself now.

Often I notice that if we don’t love our selves enough (self-worth) and/or are clear on what our desire is (we’re not slowing down enough to know but rather are responding to life so we don’t have clarity OR we’re doing the ‘who am i?’ thing  which is also self-worth, because often when we vision and dream, or listen to the calling we still don’t dream big enough), nor believe it’s possible – we simply stay stuck.  And then, when things fall out with the relationship that we were settling in, we wonder what happened and analyze it to death and often blame ourselves.  Or, we stay in the job that we can’t stand but pays the bills and yet shrivel up so much inside that we’re assuaging our pain and stuckness with everything under the sun, and long for a different way to live but as the days click on our belief, dreams, and action steps get more and more suppressed.

When things were hitting rock-bottom with an ex-boyfriend, I finally decided that was it. It took rock-bottom, however. Then, I simply changed my mind and decided.  This was it! The work came then in healing my heart, developing my faith & belief even further, and stepping out.  Living and having fun in new ways. And as soon as I loved myself enough to do things differently and follow that bliss, I met my husband Larry. I hope that we’re blessed with a long, sweet, rich life – living and loving together.  AND, I know that I’m ultimately on my own journey – as each of us are.

To yours,

With love ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Friend,

I love it when really inspiring people continue to inspire me in surprising ways. When I saw this clip below of Gwen Stefani interviewed on the Jimmy Kimmel show, I knew why, beyond her amazingly cool style, voice, creativity and energy – I have such a girl-crush on her. She keeps it real, so it seems. No matter how big she’s getting. That in itself is way cool, but you’ve got to hear for yourself on this clip…

GWEN IS A BELIEVER.

Take the time to play just through the first minute and a half ( up to 1:18, specifically), and you’ll get the nugget that I want to share with you, what I’m talking about when I say she’s a BELIEVER.

“I can’t believe this is my life.”

“…. that’s my fantasy come true. …it was a fantasy I had in my head.  And I dreamt about it.  And it became real.”

“It can happen to you, too,  if you dream it hard enough.”

It begins by believing in your desires – in your dreams. Dream them. Play them over in your head.  Then….just watch them unfold.

Here’s to the rock-star BELIEVER in you~

xoxo

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Aphrodite is the alluring Greek Goddess of love, beauty and fertility.  Although she reigned over these aspects of life that are feminine and often  perceived as ‘soft’, she wielded A LOT of power through her embodiment of them.  This was both very appealing to others, AND  extremely effective in serving her own agenda.

Aphrodite can teach us a thing or two.

Not too long ago I was a woman strung out by what seemed like a perpetual broken heart, false beliefs and as a result – small living.  Aphrodite slinked in one lonely, frustrated evening and whispered in my ear, “It’s about YOU, sister, not them. Focus on YOU.”   I’ll share here with you some of Aphrodite’s teachings – how I apply them to my life  – and how you may want to, too.

Aphrodite is hyper-awake to her own needs. Well….I woke up. I listened to what I needed.  I began to put myself first (and had some ‘assistance’ at times for sure, like the boyfriend who was depressed and had to force me out the door, because he knew he couldn’t give to me).  I cried. I wrote. I listened to my heart. I dared to try new things. Bold things. I had a new kind of FUN.  I began to honor myself on an entirely new level.  It felt exhilarating and a bit out of control – the good version -  at the same time.  What might you be needing to awaken to?

Aphrodite adorns herself , and beautifully so. I dared to adorn myself.  I started pushing my own envelope with jewelry in particular. No more corporate job meant a liberty to wear bolder jewlery – more striking pieces.  This felt like a big deal to me. But I had always looked at these women who seemed so flowy and feminine, yet bold (Aphrodite-ish) – and I didn’t quite own that part of myself that was like them. So I began to.  When I started wearing jewelry that I was so attracted to, I expressed that part of me too, and it felt WONDERFUL.  It changed my energy in impactful ways.  When you feel good, others can feel that. It’s VERY attractive.  How do you  adorn yourself ?

Aphrodite stands in her own point of focus in relationship.  She doesn’t self-abandon for her lover’s approval, or just to be in relationship.  This was an area I had a lot to learn (and always can continue to improve upon). I began to speak my truth more.  I even swung the pendulum a bit far right (like we do sometimes when in new territory) before it swayed to middle ground.  For example, there was that second date that never got to dinner because I walked out after drinks, with no excuses, just the hard truth (delivered honestly) that I didn’t need dinner, or another date.  Nowadays, my practice is often checking in with myself and my needs regularly, and especially at those times when my sometimes-brazen and loving husband pitches an idea that I’m not quite sure about – for me.  Friends compliment my ability to not abandon myself , or them for that matter, in my relationship with my husband.  I’m grateful for the witnessing. It’s a delicate dance, for sure.  Are you standing in your own point of focus within your relationship (reminder: this breathes more fire and life into your relationship, not just you!) ?

To your Aphrodite-living,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

BTW, although ‘savvy’ can be synonymous with ‘shrewd’, I chose it in my brand for another synonymous word, ‘understanding’.  A savvy woman has understanding.  A savvy woman understands that to ‘be love’ is to receive love. To love oneself and look within transforms what one experiences on the outside.

That was on my mind – thanks to a tweet on Twitter from someone picking it apart, which helped me – and wanted to share.

Ok, so on to Inviting Your Beloved In.  This subject comes from my ‘advice column’ (if you have a question, send it to my assistant at assist@belovesavvy.com, and I’ll answer you here in my blog!), where a savvy woman wrote to me about my opinion on FWB, knowing as she had read, that I don’t promote a FWB relationship as helpful if you’re ready for your beloved.

Dear Leslie,

….I have a question: why exactly is it so crucial to cut of FWB? I read in one of your recent newsletters that that is one of the important steps to take in manifesting my life partner.

I have an ex-boyfriend who is basically my best friend. We talk or email nearly every day and support each other in dating other people/editing our profiles, etc. He’s been so helpful for me in demystifying the man’s perspective. We completely love each other as friends and human beings, and we have sex once in a while in a really loving and respectful way….

Thanks so much!!

“Beth”

Dear “Beth”,

I’m glad you wrote, because I know this is a topic that many can relate to.  I’m going to communicate what has been true in my own experience, as well as what many may agree with – yet you and others may not.  So, I’ll speak for what’s worked for me and many women that I know.

You must make room for your beloved in your life, as if he’s already here.  Feng Shui experts suggest placing a nightstand on the other side of the bed for him.  Similar to that physical representation of a ‘welcome’ mat in your bedroom, there must be a big, bold ‘welcome’ mat in your heart and in your energy-field. 

Now, perhaps you are a unique woman who feels after sleeping with this Ex (which I don’t classify as a ’FWB’ -friends with benefits- it’s an Ex) you feel empowered to go out and meet other men, and you feel more open & available for connection with other men than if you didn’t have this relationship with, let’s call him, Eric. 

Most women in your shoes can’t separate (I know I couldn’t, as much as I would fool myself. Eventually the love-high wore, and the hangover would settle in).  They may not be conscious of it , but in some way, shape or form, the ‘Erics’ in their lives take up space.  The coaster and glass of water, watch, and cell phone are on the ‘guest’ nightstand – and your beloved wonders, ‘Who’s here?’. 

Beleive me, I’m not saying you need to remain celebate and not enjoy the pleasure of male energy and company. But it needs to be ‘clean’ energy.  I don’t like FWB – or Ex’s -because they’re not ‘clean’.  Are they a friend, or are they a lover? Are they someone you once and/or now wanted more from? In your case, it’s an Ex, which is more than a friend if you’re in intimate emotional and physcial contact (which you are currently in both).

I’m a huge advocate for taking a lover, if you stay hyper-conscious of keeping it ‘clean’.  A lover with no strings.  A lover who is not a friend, who you didn’t once date and get to know more intimately and mundanely – no strings.  Somone who remains ‘clean’ in your life, aka, doesn’t socialize with you or your friends, doesn’t court or date you, and doesn’t spend the night and use the nightstand.  Sound rigid? I’m sure.  But this form of relationship doesn’t take up ANY space other than some physical intimacy -which – in and of itself is cause for most women to form attachment and bonds to – typically prematurely and inappropriately so. 

When I read your email, Beth, I immediately wondered why you and Eric aren’t together and committed – the way you desire for with a beloved - based on your description of your relationship as it is today.  If either or both of you have long decided that it’s a NO, then you must get really honest with yourself here.  As difficult as it is, we often hold on in a seemingly harmless way, when truly the person we love (and can continue to love, as love never dies) we need to let go of – the form of relationship needs to change.  Many of us fool ourselves into believing that because we don’t have a ‘boyfriend’ or ‘husband’, and that the form with an Ex has changed somewhat, we’re truly available to our beloved (who is on his way to you) – when we’re not.  The water is muddied, the lines are a bit blurred.  We’re afraid to ‘burn the ships’ because what if our Beloved – another ship – doesn’t come?

My advice: stop sleeping with Eric immediately, and think about taking  month break from contact, being really honest as to why.  Try it out.  Notice what you miss.  Take exquisite care of yourself. Reach out to others. After a month, what’s there? What’s there for Eric?  If you are not to be together as partners, you need to be prepared to grieve this form of the relationship, give space for it to change,  and roll out a bigger welcome mat for your Beloved.

With love and understanding,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

There’s simply not enough of us telling our story of success – to ourselves –  and then to our world.  

Often we hear ourselves (yours truly included at times) and others talking about what’s NOT happening, why it isn’t, and how much we don’t want more of  what is or ‘THAT!’.   It’s the stream of subtle and not so subtle negativity, and it’s  SO not ATTRACTION-rich for dating,  love, relationships, or success in life.

Remember, the very powerful Universal Law of Attraction can be defined as,”Things of like vibration are drawn.”  Like attracts like.  And vibration is transmitted –  like radio waves - when you’re tuned in to a station.  If you’re on AM 840, you’re not going to be able to listen to FM 97.3, are you? 

I work with clients to educate and mentor on just how important this ‘Telling Your Story’ is for success in love and in life.   In *anything* that you want to create.   

See, we are all living our story – our attraction – right now.  What is in our life *right now* was once a thought, and then it formed a belief, and it formed and held a vibration that then matched and attracted everything that we currently are experiencing.  Tell me, do you like – and love – what you’re living? 

So, what story do you want to tell?   What’s your Story of Success?  Write it down.  Vision it.  Begin to talk about it.  By doing these things, you’ll begin to LIVE IT.  People, circumstances, inclinations, hunches – all will attract to you. 

I partner with women to help them begin to tell and live into their NEW story, creating new results in love – in relationship – and in their lives.  In late July,  I’ll be hosting a special live RETREAT  that I can’t wait to send out more details on very soon!  At a very beautiful location, we’ll spend the day together focusing on what will create for you the life and love of your dreams.  No more struggle. No more holding patterns.  The retreat, along with some follow-up to tele-classes,  will teach you the process that changed my own life and those of the clients that I’ve worked with.   

For more details on this upcoming event or how to get started working with me,  you may write to assistant@belovesavvy.com.  

Here’s to your successful story-telling. ;-)

Lots of love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com