Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m talking with many women who are looking for their Mr. Right.  One thing that I notice that’s in their way – in a BIG way – is that they are lacking BELIEF. 

Now, don’t be fooled by the simplicity here.  Yes, we hear these beliefs all the time. We all hear from people that we talk to and know in our lives (even if you don’t specialize in this area like I do)  that ‘it’s hard out there’….’relationships don’t last’….’it’s not possible to focus on my career AND be in a healthy, vibrant relationship’….’being single over X age takes WORK’….ETC.  

These are all BELIEFS.   And a belief is simply a thought that has been repetitive enough within someones mind and being that it has been more permanently ‘grooved’ into a belief, like a woodworker carves grooves design into a piece of work, with stroke after stroke of their knife.

What’s essential is to realize that :

1) You are always at CHOICE with what you BELIEVE to be true.

2) Doing everything that it takes to re-create & live into BELIEFS  that support what you DESIRE in your life is non-negotiable.  It’s a MUST.

The truth is, you will continually meet resistance when you have a conflict between something you DESIRE, and the BELIEFS that you hold relating to that desire.   This area of life, love and relationships, works just like health, wealth, or beauty.  If you desire to make a million dollars, yet you don’t truly believe that it’s possible for YOU, you will struggle, and meet resistance, and have a hell of a time attracting that million dollars into your life.   If you desire to feel truly beautiful, but you don’t believe that you are beautiful, you won’t feel, embody nor exude your beauty.

My work with clients involves having them look at themselves and what they are doing , surrounding themselves with, focusing on, etc to support the CHANGE  that they want in their life. This involves detoxing and re-creating their  BELIEFS.   Sure, they can take the right ‘actions’ : date online to meet new men, extend themselves socially as much as possible, up-level their look to feel new and attractive, and truly let go of their past.  BUT, if they are doing all of these things yet they DON”T believe it’s really gonna happen – it’s not going to – at least not as effortlessly as they wish it would.  It may start and stop, or rev up and then burn out quickly, but they will continue to struggle in this area and have a much slower & difficult time meeting their guy.

And let this inspire you, because the really cool thing is that this is a key that unlocks so much.   So, it’s time for a little tough-love ladies, from me to you.   I want you to have an amazing time in this experience of growth and change as you attract YOUR Mr. Right.   So, take inventory of what you are investing in all the time- what  beliefs you are holding. 

And if you’re local to SF, I’m hosting a FREE talk on Navigating the Holidays as you find YOUR Mr. Right, Sunday evening 12/6.   Save a seat, and relax as you experience a focused hour on why it’s so important to believe, and to feel MAGNETIC – especially this magical holiday season.  I can’t wait!  RSVP by clicking HERE.  

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Let’s be grateful for what is and what matters most to us,  as we enter the holidays and soon say hello to 2010.

I’ll go first by sharing that I am so grateful for:

YOU, for the opportunity to connect with you in this way.

My health and Being: body, mind, spirit, and soul.  

My clients, and all the women who trust – and have trusted – me in guiding them to find their true love.  

All the brilliance, beauty and opportunity that exist on the planet in my lifetime.

My friends and family for their love and support,  and for being who they are in my life (or were), and teaching me what I most need to learn, sometimes to my great dis-comfort! 

The expansiveness and shiny-new experiences that emerge on the other side of the above dis-comfort!

And I’m grateful  - more with each passing day – to my husband Larry for being more than I could have ever imagined as a friend and husband – and teacher.  Last Thanksgiving we did not spend  together (that’s for another blog post or maybe even a book!).  I’m learning so much about myself and about life being in this relationship.  It’s both life-giving and humbling.

All the people that have paved the road for me and you, including my beloved mom who passed away 15 years ago.  I love you Mom, and miss you. 

And as I end this blog, I look inside the book cover of a book I read in the mid-9o’s after my mother passed, that her sister, my Aunt Margo, sent to me “Simple Abundance”, by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  This is syncronistic.  I read on this inside cover what I  know I am to share with you, a prayer that I learned from an Oprah show back then that John Gray shared with the audience, and that helped me to connect to my higher self, to the Universe and to more abundance.

“Oh glorious future, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.

Oh glorious G*d, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.”

Happy Thanksgiving from me to you ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Amazing Women,

If you’re on my newsletter list (you can receive it subscribing here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/articles.htm) , you read that a few weeks ago I attended Ali Brown’s SHINE event in Las Vegas.  This was a group of 500+ entrepreneurs – mostly women – all gathered in one ballroom for 3 full days of inspiration, teaching, and networking.  

With my recent ‘Find YOUR MR. Right Breakthrough Session’ promo, I’ve been meeting even more women ready for LOVE.  New love. Different love. They’re ready for a road they haven’t been down before.  As I’ve been consulting with these great women, I’ve been reminded of my biggest learning’s at SHINE.  Who knew?  Love & Entrepreneurship have a lot in common.

* ** Make Decisions based on where you want to be, not where you are (or where you’ve been). 

This is a biggie.  Entrepreneurs become afraid to invest more at times.  They’re looking at what’s worked so far.  Women seeking love are the same.  Many women are looking at their track record, their hurts, or their current status – and making decisions from that place, rather than based on their Vision.

*** If you are being your authentic self, you really can’t have competition.

Yeeessss.  This one is SO important ladies. I hear clients talk about comparison all the time, and as women, we all do this – I believe more than men.  If I sat and compared myself to other experts in my field, I would feel deflated and uninspired.  I may try to not be ME, but more like THEM, if I was feeling insecure or dis-believing.  As a woman, the more you own and harness your own personality, your own authentic beauty - and play up your strengths, the RIGHT man for you will be effortlessly drawn to you.  Comparison DOES kill. 

* ** People won’t invest in you beyond what you’ve invested in yourself.

As a coach, I continually invest in my own growth, tools and training.  I continually make financial investments in myself via coaches, teachers, trainings, seminars - not to mention the investment of time, and self-care.  I could never expect to receive an investment from a client for one of my coaching packages, products or seminars that I don’t make myself.  It’s an integrity thing.

How does this show up in LOVE?  Would you want to date you?  And are you in integrity in general with how you treat others?  Once a client came to me  being very tough on the guys out there, yet she was ultra-sensitive to any form of rejection that SHE received. It was amazing to watch her transform in our work together and soften into more acceptance of others & herself – and receive love.  Like attracts Like, so the more you invest in your own care, happiness and life – the more you will receive in the form of a wonderful partner.

Wishing you a fabulous Friday & weekend ahead.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

“If a man that you want isn’t coming toward you, it might be time to grieve, but it is certainly not the time to be reaching for his lapels”. – Unknown

This was a quote that I use to carry around with me as I was desiring MY Mr. Right, yet sensing that something was off with the way I was being.  I didn’t want to admit this to myself years ago when I was in a relationship that wasn’t working out, let alone admit it to anyone else.  Eventually I decided that I needed to let go of this particular guys lapels, and move on. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that I was holding on to WAY more than just this man’s lapels. 

I meet many women desiring THEIR Mr. Right in my work as a mentor and coach, and often these women are not currently in a relationship holding on, but *they’re grasping their own ’lapels’ of regret and false beliefs*.  These women are letting  things like false beliefs (‘It’s not possible for me’ …’I've missed my window’ …’I blew it so I’ll blow it again’), or attachment to their past hold them back.  As a mentor once reminded me, ‘what you authentically want, wants you back’. 

There IS a ‘Mr. Right’, perfect for YOU.  Question is, do you believe this?  And are you willing to let go of some important things that may be closing you off from connecting with him?

Here’s an example : ‘Shelly’ thinks she’s really super available – doing all the ’right things’ , including spending countless hours online dating – but  – things don’t seem to stick with any one guy and so this experience just cements a belief that maybe it’s ‘not gonna happen’, or that she needs to move cities.  She thinks she’s doing all the right things, and she feels hopeless.  Unfortunately, the truth is that Shelly isn’t open, self-accepting, nor is she internally relaxed in this dating process, so the EASE, fun and confidence that she craves – and is SO magnetic to men – isn’t there.

See, we have to ‘forget the past and forget the future’, in order to calm our minds, ease our souls, and be present to our greatest dreams and deepest desires – and allow them to begin to speak to us, to unfold before us.  And there are some easy steps to doing this. I took these very steps myself, and it not only allowed me to effortlessly meet  & connect to my now husband, Larry – after many years of struggle – but it’s forever changed the way I approach life.

If you are a woman who wants to feel confident, supported and light as you look for YOUR Mr. Right,  learn more about my private and group work here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com.  I want to help you meet YOUR Mr. Right.

Have a great weekend…

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

There comes a time in our lives when we discover that we need to change our approach – we need a transformation.  If we are waking up more to ourselves, our lives, and our desires – this time comes – sooner or later.  Whether it’s how we earn a living, how we approach love, how we navigate our friends & family, or how we change our health & bodies. 

The focus of BeLoveSavvy.com is helping women attract the relationships – and lives – that they deeply desire.  Now more than ever before we are being guided to more meaning in our lives, and for many of us, relationships are what matter most. Clearing away the clutter is a significant part of the process that I lead women through, and I don’t just mean the visible kind.

On the surface (and where most people place ALL of their focus) , the clutter-clearing is about getting real with themselves about their outer actions – are they still sleeping with someone out of loneliness or false-hope that one day they’ll get on track together?  Are they sabotaging opportunity for what they really want in their lives as they go about their day to day and respond in fear rather than in self-love?  Fear has us in a mind-set and action that takes us away from what we truly desire, and often we have no idea because our ‘outer actions’ have us ‘doing all the right things!’.  So why he is…why aren’t they…why is it so hard….why me… believe me, I’ve been here myself many, many times and am still here at times with areas of my life.

Opposite of the surface things, I have clients get really clear about one thing that is below the surface: the decision & commitment to Feel Good.  Sound easy?  It’s not always so easy, which is why anyone who is wanting a transformation in some area of their life must do two things for success: 1) Do things differently 2) Remain accountable to doing things differently (including the WHAT & the WHY), often by having a mentor or coach (rather than a relative,  friend or colleague).

So what’s so magical about this ‘Feel Good’ thing?  Does this ______ have me feeling good is a defining question for many important things on the path to attracting love & fulfilling relationships.   Does this thought (‘There are virtually no available men in the city that I’m interested in’) have me feeling good about being single as I desire relationship – Yes or No?  Does this action (doing something that we didn’t want to do but are doing it out of obligation) have me feeling good?  Does this focus of conversation have me feeling good? Does this reaction I’m having to X have ME feeling good – truly feeling good?

Problem is, many of us, especially women, don’t get taught to make our first priority to Feel Good – and I mean deeply, authentically, lovingly-to-us Feel Good.  We become conditioned to taking care of others needs or living into others beliefs of what we should do or who we should become.  As a result, we get more and more distanced to our Feel Goods, which buoy & build us up.  On autopilot & reactionary, our belief and momentum is chipped away, despite all the ‘outer actions’ of ‘doing all the right things’ as we approach love & relating.  Or, some might say, no, my problem is I’m too selfish to consider anyone else’s needs or wants, which is why I’m alone.  I would challenge this statement by asking them if being selfish has them feeling good.  Really deeply, authentically, loving-to-her feeling good?  Look underneath, and determine if selfish = fear, or selfish = focus for myself.  When we are focused for ourselves, in positive and inclusive  ways, it’s super ATTRACTIVE.  And acknowledging that being selfish out of fear isn’t a powerful way to attract what you want (our ego fools us to think it is…it’s a way to get what we ultimately want, when in fact it repels and keeps us separate).  Being incredibly clear, decisive & committed to Feeling Good is what we are each here on this planet to do. It clears the clutter.  And the bonus is, it only can lead us to those pots of gold that we are deeply in search of!

To your ravishingly authentic, beauty &  soul-filled FEEL GOOD’s ~

Love,

Leslie

http://www.belovesavvy.com/

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