Dear Savvy Woman,

On the road to attracting your beloved - boyfriend, partner, or husband – there’s a process of shedding.  Sometimes it’s an organic process of conscious elimination of what we already know to be true based on past experience.  For example, in my twenties I seemed to find myself in relationships with men that I somehow ended up needing to fix or control.  They seemed to be a few steps ‘behind’ me in life, in a literal sense.  As I entered my late twenties and early thirties, I was very conscious of desiring a relationship where I felt more challenged and ‘called forth’ to be a bigger and better person by my partner.  

Sometimes we are not aware of what needs to be shed from our life in order to attract in what we desire, in this case, YOUR Mr. Right.  This is one reason why working with a mentor or coach pays incredible dividends.  Many clients have these incredible ‘Ah-ha!’s with me when we dive in, because we look at other areas of their life where there are less-than  desired results, or struggle, and we identify common denominators that require attention – and  change. They’re often very surprised that things are as connected as they are.  Shedding is being called – and it’s often not directly related with what is perceived to be related to love, dating, and relating.   As soon as something is eliminated – a behavior, a belief, a person, an attachment – room opens up for NEW - aliveness, good energy, growth – relationship.

As you desire YOUR Mr. Right, become more and more curious about what may need to shed within you, or within your life.  The most important step in this process is to take action despite whatever fears or doubts come up.  The Universe responds to action, and OFTEN it’s the actions that are not easily SEEN, but will be FELT and known by YOU (eliminating a limiting belief, a change in how you feel internally, etc.) that are the wham, shazam!..actions that change your life.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Let’s be grateful for what is and what matters most to us,  as we enter the holidays and soon say hello to 2010.

I’ll go first by sharing that I am so grateful for:

YOU, for the opportunity to connect with you in this way.

My health and Being: body, mind, spirit, and soul.  

My clients, and all the women who trust - and have trusted - me in guiding them to find their true love.  

All the brilliance, beauty and opportunity that exist on the planet in my lifetime.

My friends and family for their love and support,  and for being who they are in my life (or were), and teaching me what I most need to learn, sometimes to my great dis-comfort! 

The expansiveness and shiny-new experiences that emerge on the other side of the above dis-comfort!

And I’m grateful  - more with each passing day - to my husband Larry for being more than I could have ever imagined as a friend and husband - and teacher.  Last Thanksgiving we did not spend  together (that’s for another blog post or maybe even a book!).  I’m learning so much about myself and about life being in this relationship.  It’s both life-giving and humbling.

All the people that have paved the road for me and you, including my beloved mom who passed away 15 years ago.  I love you Mom, and miss you. 

And as I end this blog, I look inside the book cover of a book I read in the mid-9o’s after my mother passed, that her sister, my Aunt Margo, sent to me “Simple Abundance”, by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  This is syncronistic.  I read on this inside cover what I  know I am to share with you, a prayer that I learned from an Oprah show back then that John Gray shared with the audience, and that helped me to connect to my higher self, to the Universe and to more abundance.

“Oh glorious future, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.

Oh glorious G*d, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.”

Happy Thanksgiving from me to you ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

BTW, although ’savvy’ can be synonymous with ’shrewd’, I chose it in my brand for another synonymous word, ‘understanding’.  A savvy woman has understanding.  A savvy woman understands that to ‘be love’ is to receive love. To love oneself and look within transforms what one experiences on the outside.

That was on my mind - thanks to a tweet on Twitter from someone picking it apart, which helped me - and wanted to share.

Ok, so on to Inviting Your Beloved In.  This subject comes from my ‘advice column’ (if you have a question, send it to my assistant at assist@belovesavvy.com, and I’ll answer you here in my blog!), where a savvy woman wrote to me about my opinion on FWB, knowing as she had read, that I don’t promote a FWB relationship as helpful if you’re ready for your beloved.

Dear Leslie,

….I have a question: why exactly is it so crucial to cut of FWB? I read in one of your recent newsletters that that is one of the important steps to take in manifesting my life partner.

I have an ex-boyfriend who is basically my best friend. We talk or email nearly every day and support each other in dating other people/editing our profiles, etc. He’s been so helpful for me in demystifying the man’s perspective. We completely love each other as friends and human beings, and we have sex once in a while in a really loving and respectful way….

Thanks so much!!

“Beth”

Dear “Beth”,

I’m glad you wrote, because I know this is a topic that many can relate to.  I’m going to communicate what has been true in my own experience, as well as what many may agree with - yet you and others may not.  So, I’ll speak for what’s worked for me and many women that I know.

You must make room for your beloved in your life, as if he’s already here.  Feng Shui experts suggest placing a nightstand on the other side of the bed for him.  Similar to that physical representation of a ‘welcome’ mat in your bedroom, there must be a big, bold ‘welcome’ mat in your heart and in your energy-field. 

Now, perhaps you are a unique woman who feels after sleeping with this Ex (which I don’t classify as a ’FWB’ -friends with benefits- it’s an Ex) you feel empowered to go out and meet other men, and you feel more open & available for connection with other men than if you didn’t have this relationship with, let’s call him, Eric. 

Most women in your shoes can’t separate (I know I couldn’t, as much as I would fool myself. Eventually the love-high wore, and the hangover would settle in).  They may not be conscious of it , but in some way, shape or form, the ‘Erics’ in their lives take up space.  The coaster and glass of water, watch, and cell phone are on the ‘guest’ nightstand - and your beloved wonders, ‘Who’s here?’. 

Beleive me, I’m not saying you need to remain celebate and not enjoy the pleasure of male energy and company. But it needs to be ‘clean’ energy.  I don’t like FWB - or Ex’s -because they’re not ‘clean’.  Are they a friend, or are they a lover? Are they someone you once and/or now wanted more from? In your case, it’s an Ex, which is more than a friend if you’re in intimate emotional and physcial contact (which you are currently in both).

I’m a huge advocate for taking a lover, if you stay hyper-conscious of keeping it ‘clean’.  A lover with no strings.  A lover who is not a friend, who you didn’t once date and get to know more intimately and mundanely - no strings.  Somone who remains ‘clean’ in your life, aka, doesn’t socialize with you or your friends, doesn’t court or date you, and doesn’t spend the night and use the nightstand.  Sound rigid? I’m sure.  But this form of relationship doesn’t take up ANY space other than some physical intimacy -which - in and of itself is cause for most women to form attachment and bonds to - typically prematurely and inappropriately so. 

When I read your email, Beth, I immediately wondered why you and Eric aren’t together and committed - the way you desire for with a beloved - based on your description of your relationship as it is today.  If either or both of you have long decided that it’s a NO, then you must get really honest with yourself here.  As difficult as it is, we often hold on in a seemingly harmless way, when truly the person we love (and can continue to love, as love never dies) we need to let go of - the form of relationship needs to change.  Many of us fool ourselves into believing that because we don’t have a ‘boyfriend’ or ‘husband’, and that the form with an Ex has changed somewhat, we’re truly available to our beloved (who is on his way to you) - when we’re not.  The water is muddied, the lines are a bit blurred.  We’re afraid to ‘burn the ships’ because what if our Beloved - another ship - doesn’t come?

My advice: stop sleeping with Eric immediately, and think about taking  month break from contact, being really honest as to why.  Try it out.  Notice what you miss.  Take exquisite care of yourself. Reach out to others. After a month, what’s there? What’s there for Eric?  If you are not to be together as partners, you need to be prepared to grieve this form of the relationship, give space for it to change,  and roll out a bigger welcome mat for your Beloved.

With love and understanding,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

There’s simply not enough of us telling our story of success - to ourselves -  and then to our world.  

Often we hear ourselves (yours truly included at times) and others talking about what’s NOT happening, why it isn’t, and how much we don’t want more of  what is or ‘THAT!’.   It’s the stream of subtle and not so subtle negativity, and it’s  SO not ATTRACTION-rich for dating,  love, relationships, or success in life.

Remember, the very powerful Universal Law of Attraction can be defined as,”Things of like vibration are drawn.”  Like attracts like.  And vibration is transmitted -  like radio waves - when you’re tuned in to a station.  If you’re on AM 840, you’re not going to be able to listen to FM 97.3, are you? 

I work with clients to educate and mentor on just how important this ‘Telling Your Story’ is for success in love and in life.   In *anything* that you want to create.   

See, we are all living our story - our attraction - right now.  What is in our life *right now* was once a thought, and then it formed a belief, and it formed and held a vibration that then matched and attracted everything that we currently are experiencing.  Tell me, do you like - and love - what you’re living? 

So, what story do you want to tell?   What’s your Story of Success?  Write it down.  Vision it.  Begin to talk about it.  By doing these things, you’ll begin to LIVE IT.  People, circumstances, inclinations, hunches - all will attract to you. 

I partner with women to help them begin to tell and live into their NEW story, creating new results in love - in relationship - and in their lives.  In late July,  I’ll be hosting a special live RETREAT  that I can’t wait to send out more details on very soon!  At a very beautiful location, we’ll spend the day together focusing on what will create for you the life and love of your dreams.  No more struggle. No more holding patterns.  The retreat, along with some follow-up to tele-classes,  will teach you the process that changed my own life and those of the clients that I’ve worked with.   

For more details on this upcoming event or how to get started working with me,  you may write to assistant@belovesavvy.com.  

Here’s to your successful story-telling. ;-)

Lots of love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Are you ready to make a L-E-A-P?

If you’re single , don’t miss my tele-class happening TONIGHT:

3 Key Steps to ATTRACT Real Love

These steps will not only make you feel more confident - no matter where you are in the process - but they’ll help you SAVE TIME and bring more EASE to dating and relating.   I promise. 

Not single?  Unless you’re in utopia (which we know is never a permanent state), call in and discover that you can apply these keys over and over again to make YOU and your relationship ROCK even more.  

Time:  5pm Pacific,  7pm Central, 8pm Eastern

Call #:   218.339.4600

Access Code:  264593#

Talk soon!

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.om

PS. Got Questions?  Please post them here or contact me to get them answered here or on the call.

Dear Savvy Woman,

We can all wonder if we’re learning what we’re suppose to be learning on this journey in life.   I know for myself, sometimes it feels like I’m not learning when I’m stuck in a pattern and I’m wondering ‘where it is’ if it’s a manifestation, or, when I seemingly take steps backward and find myself in a ’situation’ that’s undesirable.

The thing is, the soul doesn’t go backwards.  Our soul accumulates our life experiences, and although from the ‘outside’, it might appear that we’re slipping backwards, our soul knows.  Our soul has a life map, which includes some contract agreements with others, and experiences in life that we’re meant to have in this lifetime.

Talking with a savvy woman recently, she was looking at a love that was no longer and looking deeply at the fact that it seemed as if ‘He’ was a soul mate.  A Soul Love.  And so if so, now what?  Understanding that we come into this lifetime with soul contracts and that we learn from everyone, and everything, I offerred her the perspective and truth that the soul doesn’t go backward.  That despite it feeling like ‘he was it’ and the pain seems unbareable, there IS a greater plan.  

Sometimes we’re in so much pain we’re not ready to receive this, and this falls on deaf ears.  She was able to receive this, she already knew.  But it was helpful to her, she said, to be reminded of this Truth.  This Truth can be the net that catches you when you’re falling into the seemingly dark abyss.  The beauty here, is that if you can lean into this Truth more, it allows you to loosen the ‘where is it’ or ‘why’ grip more, and you become increasingly Present in the moment and to your life.  More and more possibility and opportunity live in this special place.

Then, next time around, the relationship, the job you take, the experience you have with someone’s illness - whatever the situation be - you bring to it the richness of your soul’s knowing.  And as always is the case, eventually you can *see* the ‘why’ that your heartache, or pain, or denial didn’t allow you to see at the time.  That is, if you are awake to your soul and to the greater unfolding of your life, some of which was already mapped out before you were born.

Isn’t it amazing?

Lots of love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’ve been receiving your requests for addressing topics, so I’m adding a feature to my regular newsletter (are you signed up?  go here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/articles.htm and sign up now). Please send me your questions!  ’Anna’ below, wrote about addressing Jealousy & Resentment, and just in case she’s not on my list (Anna, I hope you are!), I’m posting my response where I know she’ll see it.

Dear Leslie,

…I feel like I’ve been so disappointed and almost resentful of the experiences that I’ve had with men in my recent past. I want to let go of the bitterness and jealousy that I know is poisoning my mind and body, but I find it so difficult to get past certain experiences that have left that bad taste in my mouth.  I find myself thinking about my previous relationship, jealous of his new found love. Find myself unsatisfied with my “friends with benefits”. Resentful that he won’t give me what I’m looking for, and even worse, that he has me in a queue with a number of different women…

Thank you so much for your words,

‘Anna’

Dear ‘Anna’,

I can feel your pain, and, I can also feel the anger you hold toward yourself that’s underneath.  I’m going to cut to the chase: whenever we hold resentment towards another, we’re only holding ourselves hostage – NOT them. It’s a victim stance, which will only attract more opportunities that allow you to continue playing ‘victim’ - which I know is not  what you want to create in your life.  Jealousy is like eating a refined-carb breakfast, where as Envy is protein-rich. Jealousy is a toxic emotion and drains your energy, where as Envy is a healthy indicator of desire: something that you yourself want to have, do or be.  And – the very cool thing is - you won’t authentically desire what you aren’t able to experience for yourself!  Here are some transformative steps to take that will un-clutter your heart and mind, and move you forward:

1)      Decide. Decide to let go and forgive. Forgive yourself.  Forgive your ex.  Forgive your FWB. Forgive everyone. Write it all out, anything  & everything that you’re feeling and holding on to.  Then burn it (safely) and toss it. This ritual shows both you and the Universe that you’re clear, decisive, and ready.

2)     Burn the ships = Cut off your FWB’s. They’re taking up precious space and the relationships are making you feel like crap – far from feeling honored, adored, respected and cherished.

3)     Love yourself up! Take a minimum of 21 days (makes a habit).  Cocoon yourself  with daily gestures that authentically soothe, like:  baths, flowers, walks, music, candles, dark chocolate, a good cry, a nice glass of wine, morning affirmations, delicious tea, good girl-time, a new lipstick. This changes your energy while creating excellent self-care.

Believe. And Trust. Trust in the greater good - what’s in divine design for YOU – because it’s unfolding, always.  Please stay in touch and let us know how you loved yourself up!

With love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

***If you liked this, don’t miss my blog feed as well as my *free* newsletter which features articles, tips, and events that have you living fully and richly in love.***

Dear Savvy Woman,

Whether you’re single, married or dating - no matter what the status of you’re relationship, no doubt the tool of Visualizing will change your life - it has mine.  Over, and over, and over again (it works wonders when I’m in an argument with my love).

Visualizing is one of the most powerful things that you can do to create change and bridge your reality over to the place of your dreams. Dating the wrong men? In an unhappy relationship?  Is your marriage suffering? Are you simply feeling dried up and exhausted? Not only has this done wonders for me in my love life, but I can look at other important things in my life -  changing careers, giving important presentations at work, working to get in shape at the gym, and even a most recent television appearance - and the success of these all were the result of a  common denominator: Visualizing.

Years ago when I was between boyfriends, a very wise & savvy friend and I were talking about love and live, and she struck a chord with me when she asked me to ‘feel in’ to what I wanted in a relationship.  ‘Picture in your mind the two of you hanging out - what are you doing together?’  Then I was even more blown away when she again asked me to feel in to (through a Vision - a picture in my mind) things like the way we communicated  - to identify what the feeling-tone was of that - fiery? Clear? Soft & cozy? Expansive & accepting?   

Months before I met my husband, I surprised myself when I was talking with producers of the reality show, “How To Get The Guy’ that was being filmed in San Francisco (but that’s a story for another blog) , and in our discussion it came to my awareness that I had held this Vision in my mind of my future  husband and I having black & white photographs hung in our hallway, particularly of us with our baby.  Now, I wasn’t a girl who had lots of specifics as to details of what her future life would look like, but that image popped up and had served - in some ways unbeknownst to me - as a guide post as I dated. Today Larry and I do have some black and whites of us hung in our hallway, and I smile as I connect the dots back to my Vision.

Another very powerful personal example on Visioning : I spent time one weekend by myself - my first trip with no companion and not work-related - walking the beach in Del Mar, CA and soaking up the gorgeous hotel and pool I was staying at. I journaled, I walked , I shopped - it was a healing time for me after a relationship ended and I had left a job to pursue a coaching career.  I walked the beach every day and visualized my future life - specifically my future husband and marriage. I felt into (via a vision) our communication, how we spent time, the energy of him - and of us.  Unbeknownst to Larry, he proposed to me on that very beach, under the Moonlight, less than 2 years later (but who was counting?).  This still gives me the chills and sweetly reminds me how we live in a magical Universe, if we can only remember to see it that way and Believe.

I’m so passionate about this powerful tool and I teach my clients to use it successfully in their own lives.  It’s so simple, it can be quick and it’s *Free* to boot.  What more could you love about a tool that expands your reality and allows your dreams to unfold, seemingly effortlessly? (Stay tuned for Pt. 2 of this blog where I’ll speak more to this last statement)

Here’s some steps to the “How”:

1. Choose a Visioning medium that comes most easiest for you to ensure regular use & success.   Is it playing a ‘mind movie’? Is it making a Vision box or board?  Is it writing it down?  Maybe all three - but whatever you do, decide to do it, begin, and tap into it regularly - even for just a minute or two.

2. You must shut down your thinking/ego mind while you’re doing this.  That’s the mind that has you perhaps looking to poke holes in this concept, to censure what you’re visioning, to tell you you’re doing it ‘wrong’.   THERE IS NO WRONG WAY. Trust your inner guidance.

3. Get yourself into a relaxed state for a few minutes before you begin steps 1 and 2.  Listen to a favorite song first, laugh at a funny show or joke, move your body.  Get your energy flowing downstream to open up creativity and connect to your inner navigation system - your heart & energy system - that connects easily to Truth and the magical Universe.

Stay tuned for Part 2 - what is ‘happening’ when we regularly Vision & how does this help us take inspired action?  

With love and Universal blessings,

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Stepping outside ‘the box’ in approaching ’big’ things in  life such as love - or job hunting/career changes - health & wealth creation - can seem so daunting and hence, that’s why the majority of us simply DON’T.  And I’m not discluding myself from this majority, either.  Part of the inspiration here for this blog is to share with you that when I have, immediate results came - and miraculously.   Am I consistent with this approach - absolutely not.  But it sure as heck inspires me to step out again and again out of my comfort zone as I look at both my past and my current reality - what’s worked -  and where I want to go being who I want to be. We all have our ‘growth edge’ - coaches too - and that’s why coaches need coaches and CEO’s need coaches.

What’s interesting is that in Timothy Ferriss’ book, The 4 Hour Work Week, which I’m currently reading, he talks about not just thinking outside the box but ACTING outside the box.  I read that this morning, and then during my workout at the gym this morning (so painful in this gorgeous heat wave in SF currently, but necessary…) I saw a segment on the Today show about job hunting in the New Economy and the dire importance of stepping out of your comfort zone.

Whether you’re job hunting or relationship hunting (or looking to create new and impactful results in ANY area of your life such as those mentioned at the start of this post) - results lie in doing it differently.   BE-ING different than you’ve been, and ACTING differently than you have.  As humans we’re creatures of habit, as we all know.  So, it’s important to ’scare yourself’ - do those actions and that thinking that has you feeling a little out of ‘control’ and also a little *mischievous*.  Yes, mischievous.  With yourself.  See, when you act, think and BE ‘different’ than you’ve been, it can feel thrillingly mischievous, because what you’re doing is busting out of your own box and breaking your own rules.

For example, after a year+ out of corporate work, with my apartment in storage, a failed relationship left in Toronto where I had been playing but not earning or saving -  and,  a uncomfortable bed at my parents - I needed a J-O-B - and fast!  But I wanted to switch industries, AND I didn’t want to take a pay cut for doing so. In fact, I wanted to make more money than I ever had before (I’m sure you can relate).  I interviewed for a great opportunity - and I was intent on getting it.   How could I set myself apart from the competition?   An idea popped in to my head as I wrote a thank you note:  send the note with a roll of scotch tape.  It felt slightly OUT THERE to me.   Why the tape?   The gentleman - and my future bosses boss - that I had just interviewed with, had played with a piece of scotch tape as we talked and apologized to me , saying it was a bad but necessary habit of his. I felt a little mischievous sending the tape -but it worked (and he later coo-berated that it worked). I got the job and earned more than I ever had before, in a new industry. 

Stay tuned for Part 2, and how to be mischievous in love…

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

If you want 1 year of Prosperity, grow Seeds

If you want 10 years of Prosperity, grow Trees

If you want a Lifetime of Prosperity, grow your Self Worth.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com