Hey Savvy Friends!

When I was on the ABC local talk show,  View From the Bay , last month (if you didn’t see the segment, check it out HERE  ) , I received a lot of feedback on the part of ‘Loving Yourself Up’.   I gave some tips for giving yourself ‘love’ first, before you seek it in dating and relationship.  The segment was geared toward women who are looking to date again after a divorce, but truly, I find that women single and dating,  and women married and in relationship – all modern women – can benefit from more slow down, self-care, and self-love.  

These ideas are all geared toward this New Economy – this isn’t about another shopping spree or Spa Day. Nothing against either, as they can serve a purpose and need, but this goes deeper – and also goes farther.

This is about not just being kind and loving to oneself, but also about bringing creativity and romance to your day-to-day.  From you, to you.  When we gift ourselves in these small and sustainable ways, we actually become more Present. And Softer.  We give ourselves a little romance, and this spills over into how we are with others.  We’re happier, more fulfilled, and open.  We can feel more at peace, and more approachable.

The key in ‘Loving Yourself Up’ is keeping it authtentic to YOU.  Just like some women don’t dig Spa days.  They would rather take a 10 mile hike.  Or comb through antique stores. So the first thing that you must do is begin to get more in touch with what it is that you desire – what is calling you – what would feel really good.

Of course it’s wonderful, exciting and blissful to receive romance and gifts and experience from the men in our lives, or to imagine all that you want from the future man in your life.  But, if we begin to practice giving ourselves some romance, small ’loving acts’, we actually make all that we could receive from a current or future partner all the more juicy and enjoyable.  And, we find that we don’t yearn and long for ‘them’ to do, do, do for us.  Because it’s kind of a well that could never get filled by another.  This kind of love must be attended to by the self.

If you begin by creating romance, beauty and simple luxury in your day , you’ll find that other ideas will pull at you, whether it’s taking a walk to the Farmer’s Market, or cleaning out a closet.

Some things that I do regularly:

-Make sure there are fresh flowers in my bedroom, bathroom & office

-Light candles: reading, hanging out, in the bedroom, or in the bathroom while I’m getting ready to go out in the evening.  When I’m paying bills.

-Play music, as much as possible, wherever I am.  I take my Ipod shopping….and when I vaccuum. 

-Set a pretty place setting for dinner, even for take out.  Enjoy a glass of wine or champagne, or special tea.

-Take my time (and making the time to do so) with my hair & make up – just for me – at least a few times a week, or every day – depending on how I feel.

-In dressing , I consioulsy adorn myself with jewelry & color that I love wearing.

-Taking a bubble bath or an extra-long shower, whenever I can.

So, these are a few things that I incorporate regulary.  What are yours?  I’d love to hear what they are.  If you aren’t doing things to love yourself up, what might they be? 

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I had to boot up my laptop to write about a conversation I just had an hour ago with a savvy woman (who will remain anonymous, but I’d love to let the cat out of the bag with her permission so I can tell you about her amazing talent & business!).

We were catching up about life, which included her meeting a great guy a few months back, whom she’s enjoying a lot.  He’s a great guy with his act together, a fun sunny disposition and great sense of humor. And he’s very cute (picture proven). Great catch, right? Wait, it gets better. Guess what?  He is SO into her, that he very directly asked her to call him rather than opt for the more distant, less-intimate text. 

Why was she texting primarily as communication, you might wonder?  Well, ‘Jane’ was experienced with her most recent Ex prefering to communicate with her via Text, among other guys.  And this Ex did a good job of keeping her at arms length in some other ways, too.  Thankfully, Jane moved on and attracted this very available man who lets her know in many ways “I’m into you!”, including asking her to chill on texts because he wants to hear the purr of her voice instead. (Ok, I’m ebellishing on her story here but it’s the truth).  Understandably, Jane had felt a bit protective post her last relationship, and didn’t want to ‘cramp’ this new guys style.  Why? Well…he could be like all the rest. She had learned that more than one guy out there preferred to keep things at more of a distance. So, why risk a different approach?

What I *love* about this story almost as much as the fact that this wonderful woman attracted a great guy to her who is honest, upfront and demonstrative is that she was aware of her conditioned patterns based on past history.  This is a rather ‘light’  example that was pretty easy for her to call herself out on.  Often we have deep-seated beliefs and conditioned behavior that we’re not as aware of, keeping us stuck (attracting/involved with the same kind of men, experiencing the same quality of job, self-sabatoging behavior, spending patterns, etc).

Sometimes we are fortunate, like Jane, to have an event or person help us to see where we are in behavior and mind-set that isn’t current, true to us, congruent with what we want to attract and experience, and who we want to BE….NOW.   Think about what is possible to create in your life if you take a conscious look at this ‘closet’ if you will, and do a run through of the worn and out-dated?  

Speaking of clearing,  I’m offering a special Boot Camp event on Saturday, March 21st.  This Boot Camp will be exclusively about Relationship - clearing and creating.  If you are single post a break-up, divorce or simply aware that you need a fresh perspective and a clear vision, you will not want to miss this inspiring and life-changing day with me.  So, how do you really know if you would benefit from this?

- You can’t seem to let go of the past: an ex…relationship regrets…he’s a jerk….time you’ve lost.  You might be aware that it’s getting in your way, and you might not.  If you let this rent any space in your mind and being, believe me, it is in your way.

-You don’t believe a wonderfully reciprocal, abundant, delicous relationship and partnership may be  possible for you.  Or you vascilate.  Belief, if it’s there, is shaky.

-You’re recently out of a signifcant relationship or marriage, and you’re ready to move on, but you have not completely forgiven your ex and/or yourself.  You worry about finding yourself in the same thing.. again.

- You’re exhausted with it all. Men. Love.  You’re not sure if you’ll ever meet the right guy for you.  And if you’re meeting men/dating, their is a LOT of finger pointing… to them.

I really hope that if you are relating to these, you will decide *right now* to save the date and spend the day with me (more details will follow soon).   You can’t do the same things and expect different results, and, although it’s tempting to rush into a different relationship, if you don’t clear your mind & heart you just may find yourself facing similar issues – learning the same lesson.

In this day you will actually do the ‘stuff’ that you may know would benefit from, but you just can’t find the time, inspiration, or environment to do it.

What you’ll leave with:  completion of oceanside releasing ceremony, discovering tools and exercises for creating a vision for yourself and your next relationship that pulls your forward (not back into the past) ,  and techniques for a Mind-set that will see you to success in love and life. And lots of inspiration. It will be  a packed day – but, quality over quantity.

Decide to gift yourself this day, and you will not regret it.  It will be the gift that keeps on giving.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

My Office

Dear Savvy Woman,

Here’s a picture that I recently took of my office.  Isn’t it pretty, clean and simple ? ;-)  I like things that way!  Notice the big candles in my fireplace. These are to remind me to slow down, and to bring softness and spirit to my workspace. 

The big gold box on the left of the mantle is my Magical Creation Box. I’m going to tell you more about how to make yours in an upcoming post…stay tuned.  The women at my Love & Success Boot Camp last week *loved* making theirs!

The big gold frame (gold, a fav of mine, is a very creative hue, by the way! Not to mention it’s gorgeous & luxurious…) on the right that you see holds a Letter of Gratitude that I wrote to the Universe (see my Dec ’08 blog posts for instructions here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/blog, and  write yours for this year!).    I can’t help but stop and read it regularly because of it’s massive presence in my space.

This space is part of my physical environment – my office where I spend a considerable amount of time.  But I write not just about physical environment, I also want to highlight that our emotional and spiritual environments are tremendous in shaping our experience.   How are yours working for you?

I  repeat this often to clients and to myself: You are the average of the 5 people that you surround yourself with. Who do you hang out with the most, either in person or in cyber space?   Be sure to make conscious choices.   We spent a lot of time on this at the recent Boot Camp event and it is both daunting and exhilarating, because we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge.  As creatures of habit, we can get use to environments that don’t serve us and our destiny of Well-Being.   Daunting, it can be, because the reminder is there that we are always at choice.

What will you choose?

Be sure to create environments that hold you in your values and support your highest good and desires.  Start small, grabbing the low-hanging ‘fruit’ to pick off.  In your physical environment, sometimes we just need a clearing out of the build-up = papers, magazines, unused items.  In our emotional and spiritual, we might need to taper down contact with a draining relative,  or let go of friendships (with love) that don’t feel supportive or have mutuality.  And sometimes we find we are in a relationship with a man (a large part of our environment) that isn’t the right partner.  

Here is to continuing to create our environments with love.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Sister,

Don’t for a minute doubt that where you are is where you will always be, or that you can’t have experiences beyond your wildest dreams.

Our doubts begin to creep in (and creep UP) the moment we start to step out more into our light.  It’s that inner critic that says, “Who are you foolin?”  “Why would it get better than this – be grateful for what you already have, gf.”  “Who are YOU?”.

Often, we don’t even know we’re doing this. 

Are you feeling:

-Tired of the same, ‘ol – same ‘ol?  BORED.

-Hesitant of trying somthing NEW, depsite the craving for it?   Ie.:  New style, Online dating, New work, New way of Being in the world

- Like you’re playing ‘small’, but don’t know the HOW? of playing the bigger game you so desire

This Saturday I’m hosting my first Boot Camp in Ft. Mason, where we’ll spend the day working on creating a blue print for LOVE & SUCCESS in 2009.    This day will help you to see that the world is truly your oyster, and give you some incredibly valuable exercises that help you create a Vision that pulls you forward into what you desire.

We can live in a  continuous flow of Well-Being, and yet it’s easy to feel very disconnected from that, and just look for evidence that supports otherwise.  Remember, whatever we believe to be true, we very easily find evidence that supports that.

Enroll in my Savvy Woman’s Boot Camp today!  You’ll be inspired and equiped to have a year unlike any other!

www.BeLoveSavvy.com/events/htm

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

The Feeling of a Pure Desire Feels Good To You

“Unfortunately, many people think that the uncomfortable feeling of wanting something they do not expect to experience is what the feeling of desire is;  they no longer recognize the feeling of pure desire as that fresh, eager, feeling of expectancy that they knew when they were younger.  The feeling of pure desire is always delicious, as it represents the vibrations that are stretched out before you into your unseen future, preparing the way for the Law of Attraction to match things up on your behalf.”

-Ask & It is Given: Learning to manifest your Desires, by Esther & Jerry Hicks

From my savvy & desiring heart, to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Lou can make your day!

  From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

We get bombarded with ideas on how to be sexy, and there’s a tremendous amount of pressure put upon us.  The right hair, clothes, lingerie…these can all contribute to feeling and looking sexy -no doubt.  And, there’s also SO MUCH to tap into that you already embody and own.  Sometimes we just forget, or we get ideas in our heads of ‘all that we should or have to do’ to be Sexy.  Not true. 

The thing is, there are SO many ways that you can connect to your essence and bring out the natural, feminine glow  = Sexy glow , that you’re designed to exude in a quick, simple, and no-cost way.  As I write this, I realized that I left the biggest one off my list : self-pleasure. 

Absolutely, do this on a regular basis.  It doesn’t cost anything, and it’s quick (if it’s not, you can discover how to be!)  Aside from that, I’ve listed here some things that work for me and my clients, to shift out of ‘Do-mode’ and drop into ‘Be-ing’. Drop into Sexy.

You’re date picks up your energy.  We can tell when someone is stressed, uptight, insecure, or rushed.   What does it do to us?  It puts us off.  We get uncomfortable.    This isn’t what you want to exhibit or contribute on a date.  Our society might value this do-do-do, ‘make it happen’-lifestyle, but if you’re looking to connect with a guy and find a great intimate relationship, you have to invite that in.

You might wonder how some of these add to your Sexy-factor, but trust me, they do. Sexy isn’t sexy unless it’s authentic.  We can tell when some one’s trying to hard. Despite going through the ‘right’ motions, it ends up being repelling, isn’t it? 

These are simple, quick, and low-to-zero cost:

• Step into a pair of gorgeous, sexy heels and wear them as you’re getting ready in the morning.
• Put an extra 5 minutes beyond ’normal’ to tend to your appearance in the morning: make-up, style your hair, put on body lotion, perfume. Care and attention makes you feel beautiful to YOU, and others pick up that energy.
• Make a conscious effort to walk just a little slower – with body awareness - and smile at everyone you pass by, even if you don’t feel like it.  Fake it til you make it, if necessary.  It will work.
• Light candles and play your favorite music for yourself as you prepare to go out.  Seduce yourself.
• Add to your outfit with a hint of color, jewelry, different shoes – before segueing from office -to – date.  This tells yourself, and your date, that the work hat is off – you’re back to being a soft and receptive woman. 
• Take 5 minutes to relax before running to your date straight from work.  Take some deep breathes, paint your nails, listen to music on your Ipod.  Notice the sunset or watch the rain.  Get out of your head and become more present to yourself and who you engage with.
• Focus on who you are authentically BEING with your date.  Be interested. Be open. Be yourself. Be present to simply what is – you’re connecting with another human being – not on ‘what may be’. 
• Slow down.  Slow your mind.  Slow down how you move.  Slow your speech.  This relaxes you & whoever you’re with.  It creates room for more presence & is very inviting.
• Take the pressure off.  The more present you stay to yourself and to your date, the more opportunity there is to notice if there is a connection.  Stop sizing him up, sizing yourself up, future-thinking.
• Mix it up.  I notice a lot of singles have ‘their place’ for meeting dates – same bar, restaurant, coffee shop.  Vary it.  Don’t get in too much of a routine for convenience-sake.  It can impact the energy for both yourself and the date you’re going on.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

If I boil down everything that I have learned through personal experience , study , and years of work with clients – in manifesting desires and creating the life of one’s dreams – it all comes down to one word:  BELIEVE.

Believe it’s possible.   Believe you can go where you haven’t gone before. Believe you can have what you desire (if you couldn’t, it wouldn’t manifest within you as a desire in the first place).  Believe you can start again.  Believe you can reinvent yourself – over and over and over. 

One powerful way to harness Belief is to IMAGINE.  It’s actually imperative to tap into your imagination to create new desires, to raise your vibration to match those desires by way of Believing It’s Possible, Imagining yourself Being, Doing, and Having said desires as if they’ve arrived in your life,  and Expecting them to be on their way to you.   

By tapping into Imagination ,  Belief becomes more of a reality and replaces older vibrations of negative thoughts, doubt, fear and judgments.  

Without belief, we get more of the same.  We prove ourselves right - “It’s not possible to meet a soulmate’ because we didn’t BELIEVE.   Whatever we believe to be true, we naturally scan for evidence to support ourselves – and we will be successful.

Without tapping into your IMAGINATION, it’s challenging to create and harness Belief.

IMAGINE yourself with your man, as if he has already arrived in your life  (if he hasn’t already) – what are you doing together?  How does it FEEL – feeling into the vision and image creates a new vibration within you and is very powerful.  We often stumble all over the ‘details’ and what’s much more important here is to FEEL into the energy of the connection.  The Universe takes care of the details, and knows better than you what’s in your highest good – brown hair vs. ‘silver fox’ doesn’t make a relationship ( I know! :)) Allow yourself to let go of superficial details, and tap into the feeling-tone of how you feel with him.

Imagine living the life of your desires.  What are you doing?  Who are you doing it with?  What does it FEEL like? 

Write it down.  Play a Movie in your mind (see my prior blog posting on Mind Movies – create one within your imagination – it’s FREE).   Create a Vision Board. 

Believe me – these all work.

IMAGINE…

From my savvy heart to yours,

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’ve created the results that I’ve desired in my life by focusing on them – as if they were already in my life.  What we focus on increases – have you heard that before?  If you’ve followed any of my work, I know that you have! :)   As humans, we can all waver with this, even if we are pretty well studied here and have witnessed our lives change as a result of this Universal principle and Truth.  We must continue to manage, with greater and greater proficiency, the gap between who we BE in the here and now, and who we actually ARE – as divine beings.

When I was single – which, marrying at 36, means I had a good long time of dating and relationships before I met my husband – I for a very long time was focused on LACK.  If I was without a date or without a boyfriend, I was frequently coming from a place of ‘less-than’ or ‘not enough’, because I was fixed on what was missing and what I wanted that wasn’t ‘here’ yet.

Are you that woman?  Do you constantly look to what you don’t have and look at your friends and strangers and imagine that they are in utopia and complete, while you are in LACK?   I understand – I’ve been there.  As humans, we can all struggle with this when we want something (relationship, fitness, wealth, adventure) and it’s not ‘here’ yet.

You might not see that you are that woman, because to yourself and from the outside you’re ‘living the good life’.  But are you buying it?  What are you telling yourself?   Are you telling yourself you’re ‘bad’ and ‘unwanted’ if your date doesn’t ask you out again, or you find yourself out of relationship for months or years?  

What completely changed my personal life, largely by what vibration I was in, was what I focused on.  When I started to really , REALLY focus on what my heart DESIRED, life changed – dramatically.   Life got FUN and it FLOWED.  It wasn’t seamless from the ‘outside’, but it felt seamless on the inside.  I had to let go of a lot – what it was that i “thought’ I wanted and more so, what I had known, and who I had been.   I stepped into a larger version of me by focusing on what I wanted, BEFORE the proof that it existed showed up.   THAT IS THE KEY.

1.   Stop focusing on what you don’t want.  Careful here - you might not think that you’re doing this, especially if you’re busy, ‘happy’, etc –  so take an honest look at your thoughts.    “I don’t want to be single at 40, 50, 60″…….  are you running that story in your mind? 

2.   Start focusing on what you do want,  and acting as if it’s already here (  and it is, but you have to raise to the vibration for it to be received into your life.   Are you currently vibrating at ‘it’s not here!’ ‘i’m alone – still!’ ‘men suck!’ ‘there’s no available men in San Francisco!’).

3. Your attraction-gauge operates based on your emotions.  If you are feeling good (by thinking good thoughts) , and focused on what it is you desire, your vibration will change to the frequency by which your desire is vibrating, and you will attract it in.  Let go of the HOW and the SHOULDS, and focus on how you are FEELING and BEING, resting in patient EXPECTENCY. 

In good vibes and with love and gratitude,

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Have you written down any New Years Resolutions yet?  Whether you have or haven’t, with this process comes often the thoughts and feelings of whether or not these will be met , and so can begin the little trickle of fear and doubt that sets in on or before you’ve begun.  Yikes.  We can just avoid the entire exercise, but in order to get results, we must begin to get clear about what we want – and write it down

I want to share with you what I did to capture in my mind and on paper my intentions for this 2009 yeer:  A Letter of Gratitude.    Taken from Christine Kloser,  I wrote down a letter to the Universe from the perspective of December 31st, 2009.   The year was closing.  What was I grateful for that had transpired over the year?  What had I attracted, what had manifested, what had changed?  

Take just 5 minutes and write down all that comes to you – not listening to the HOW?  WHO?  but just flowing in the stream of gratitude and expectation.  Take note of if the HOW and WHO pops up – if it doesn’t then you’re not playing BIG enough, and yet you must let go of the HOW and WHO as it comes in, as that isn’t your concern at this writing.   This is to set intention, vision and WANTS.

Then, find some beautiful paper and font, and print it out and post it several places around your home and office.  Read it regularly to remind yourself of what you are setting as intention this year.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com