This saying is so true.  Recently,  I’ve had a lot of ‘stuff” come up to heal, and I’ve become more brave in facing the pain vs distracting myself in all the various ways I know how and have done in the past.  And have become accustomed to. Breaking patterns can be so damn hard, whatever those patterns may be. For many of us, it includes not feeling our feelings – especially the hard ones, stuck ones, big ones. But when we stop, and feel – we heal. It’s actually the only way, as the other saying that’s on the money on this topic is:  whatever does not get expressed, gets repressed.

We’ve been raised to keep going, never stop, watch the ‘clock’, move on, and replace – like a marathon runner.  Don’t you meet some marathoner’s who look really worn out?  Are you worn out?  If so, where ? Or how?  What are you feeling?

Feel it to heal it.  It’s really simple.  If we allow ourselves to stop and feel into our hearts, especially when it’s hard to, we’ll feel something. It may not be pretty, and that’s OK. It’s more than OK. It’s really, really good actually. The Ugly Duckling that we’ve been relegating to the edge of the pond that is our heart, when given some pond-time, will turn into a Beautiful Swan.

My heart has been healing as I’ve been separated from my husband for a few months now.  For any readers who follow this blog, you heard a little bit about this from me last winter – that we were going through something.  That something has been an intense time of soul-searching, following Truth (inner guidance), and making hard decisions. As private as this journey has been and is for me, I know that I’m meant to share learning and wisdom on the other side of this, and intend to do that.

Through this journey, I’m reminded that love never dies but will always change form at some point, and that following one’s heart can be as painful at times as it is joyous. Especially if you’re someone who loves hard, fast and with loyalty. I still – maybe even more than ever – believe in love, sometimes ‘fast’ love, and loyalty.  What I’m learning, however painfully, is that fine line in relationship, and partnership – as to where to draw the line between loyalty to ‘other’, to ‘relationship’ , and loyalty to one’s Self. It’s a big one, for a lot of us.

Lot’s and lots of pond time going on.  Journaling a few times a day. Getting things out, and feeling into them. Getting back to nature with walks, hikes and simple appreciation. Sessions with my mentor. Getting loved up by beautiful friends and family.

It can be really scary to go into places that you haven’t really been to within yourself, but if you don’t, how can you expect anyone else to nurture, see or care for that part of you? We attract who we are, and where we are emotionally, energetically.  Feel it, love it up, and let go of what you need to.  <3

Much love,

Leslie

I’m excited to do a few New Year’s Rituals today – firsts for me. What I usually do is reflect the last few weeks of the year and get clear on some new intentions and goals for myself for the upcoming New Year.  Writing a letter to yourself as if you are at the end of that next year – and what you are grateful for – is a powerful way to seal in your vision.

In that process, I also chose one word (an idea that floated around on Facebook this month that I thought was so simple yet powerful) to capture what I want to embody more of in 2011.  It will be my foundation. I chose ‘Responsibility’.  I’ve realized that as much as I say I want to take on and create for myself in life, I still shy away from taking 100% ownership. (Yikes- not easy to admit to myself! )My journey this year has led me to understand how essential it is to be completely responsible for every thought, feeling, emotion, intention, action, calling, desire, etc that I have.  Be responsible for ME, for my actions and re-actions, and what I create. No one else!

It’s a little un-sexy of a word, I know – it feels kind of heavy from one vantage point at least – but it excites me! And that’s because I know that with this truth and focus, 2011 will be a year unlike any I’ve every experienced. I’m already feeling the ‘fire-walking’ energy of it, and yet I know my soul is on board. Writing this I’m reminded of a fabulous card that I recently found,  with a little girl and a dog sitting side by side in chairs, and it reads, “Life is tough. I recommend getting a manicure, and a really cute helmet.”

What’s your word for 2011?

The rituals I’ll be doing today were suggested by a friend who is so full of gorgeous Goddess-energy and very wise beyond her years. She handed them to me, and so I trusted that this is what I am meant to do today! Mostly because they felt right to me.

1) Write down all the things you are choosing to let go of as you head into 2011 (I know for me these live much more in the land of outworn thoughts & beliefs, behaviors, habits, patterns that no longer serve who I am becoming).

2) Burn that list.

3) Cast 2011 intentions into the ocean at sunset today (a special method she shared that’s too compex for this blog, but you can lay a rock on top of a list of intentions and then throw the rock into the ocean (or place it on an altar or special holding place). Sunset is a time of fertility (who knew?). A time to ‘birth’ these intentions.

No matter what you choose to do as far as goal-setting, my wish is for you to release. Release anything that you know in your heart isn’t serving the YOU that is bursting to be born. The YOU that yearns for more love, new love, less baggage, less drama, more peace, more success.  We always have to move through whatever blocks our path, yet it can be tricky to see and painful to admit. So be very, very gentle with yourself, yet brave.

When we want new love, yet we are not being the love we so long for, we must release something.  When we want new success, yet we are not embodying and acting from that new feeling and place of success, we must release something.  A full glass can’t hold new water. And often, even if ‘He’ isn’t in your life,  you have old beliefs, thoughts and feelings that would probably equal a loooonng line of men out the door.  How is he going to get to your doorstep? Or that new business, or body?

Go with your gut on what those are, write them out, and burn them.  Let 2011 be the year that you step into more of YOU, creating much more of what you want to experience.

I write this for myself as I write this for you.

Happy New Year !!!  I am so grateful to connect here with you.

To your love, success and abundance ~

Leslie

I want to share with you a GORGEOUS, soul-full, life-changing prayer that I just heard via Robert Holden’s radio show this morning.

Here it goes:

“DEAR UNIVERSE,

PLEASE SHOW ME THE TRUTH ABOUT MYSELF, NO MATTER HOW BEAUTIFUL.”

So simple, so powerful, so True.

We can be afraid of the Truth, and often we can resist and push away our good.  It’s part of being human, and yet the more we accept ourselves, the more we find others who more than accept us.  And the more we live into our brightest destiny.

This prayer speaks to that saying, ‘How good can you stand it?’.

Let’s all ‘stand it’ just a little bit more, shall we?  I’m in! ;-)  I’m going to take Robert’s advice, and say this prayer every day for the next 10 days.

I hope that you’ll join me!

Much love,

Leslie

This morning I was conflicted. My life works so much better when I dedicate anywhere from a few minutes to 30 or one hour if I get up early enough (very luxurious) in the morning, to inspiring reading, affirmation, prayer and meditation.  It’s become a ritual that I need. And often,  when I have just a minute, I take that minute to read something inspiring and peaceful, and simply anchor myself for a moment in positive truth before jumping to a higher gear.  Even a minute gives me something, and it sets a positive intention for my day.

BUT, I’m a morning person with exercise – and often if I don’t lay out my workout clothes the night before, and have my coffee ready first thing, I easily slink into my ‘morning ritual’  (if I workout first thing, I make sure to take a few minutes for my morning ritual, even if it’s not until lunchtime)  before heading out the door to exercise. And then it’s *really* tough to motivate 30 minutes later.

This morning was one of those mornings where I wasn’t prepped to workout first thing, but I knew I really needed to move my body. So, I made my coffee, grabbed my book and journal, and headed for my favorite chair in the living room, bargaining for 20 minutes of this time before heading out the door. It looked cold and gloomy outside, after all.  Well, 20 minutes turned into an hour after toggling between reading, checking my email (not usually allowed, but it slipped in) and assessing if I needed to head to the gym instead of walking outdoors.  Now a big part of me was ready to delay exercise until tomorrow. Finally I peeled myself off the chair and pushed myself outside to walk – my spirit knew it needed nature after a very indoor, rainy weekend.  I felt stiff from sitting so long, and really not very motivated to move.  Thank g*d for Ipods.  After contemplating a short walk, once I got into the groove I found myself back home after a great hour walk.  This really felt like a miracle this morning. We know we just need to take that first step, but sometimes it’s just so easy to make an excuse and not take it sometimes.

I know that if I had decided to chuck my exercise for the day, I wouldn’t have had such a spring in my step as I headed into  my work day.  And I may have taken a friend’s lunch cancellation a bit more personally.  I wouldn’t have felt as confident that I could accomplish what I had on my to-do list.  And , I probably wouldn’t have thought to put Pandora on in my bathroom, dancing to Jay -Z in the shower.  Dancing in the shower is not something I’ve found myself doing much of lately, especially on a dark winter’s morning – and on a Monday, no less! That to me is really the easiest way to compare the results of moving my body, versus choosing not to.

It’s almost like taking a ‘Sliding Doors’ (the movie) approach to something, in this case, exercise.  Day in the Life A, you move your body. Day in the Life B, you don’t. And then wonder and watch what results within you – how you feel, what your energy is, how you respond to things, what you do and what you don’t do.

Moving our bodies is not only good for us in all the ways we are often told and know, but it moves our spirit.  And moving our spirit leads to all sorts of good things too.  ;-)

With love,

Leslie

I’ll admit it – I place a huge value in feeling beautiful. Feeling beautiful, *to me*,  is a strong fuel for my life. Yet,  it’s not exactly how it sounds, or how you immediately imagine this to be (read on). Although I don’t constantly put these into play in my life, when I do give them some priority, life feels rich and everything in it seems to improve. It’s one important way of filling your cup – letting the overflow to the saucer be the energy and bandwidth available to give to others in healthy ways.

My personal connection to beauty might not fit yours. And it shouldn’t. Mine is unique to me,  just as yours is unique to you.  (And after reading this post, I encourage you to list out 10 or 20 ways you can feel connected to your beauty, to help you clarify yours).

Feeling beautiful takes all kinds of  forms. It’s not formulaic, and yet I’m sure some of the ways that I’ve (we’ve) come to feel beautiful plug into society’s demand and definition for women to be beautiful – our cultural archetype of beauty. I notice though, that the wiser I become, the more I realize that buying into other’s approval just dilutes my own joy…and sense of feeling beautiful.  It’s a process of culling and refining my own value of beauty, my own requirements, and leaving those that don’t bring me the connection that I know I need to feel, and benefit so much from feeling.

When you step into your own ways of feeling beautiful, whatever they are, it not only connects you and empowers you, but others can feel it. It’s an elixir in attraction, although this is not about doing anything for anyone else’s benefit. It just so happens that the byproduct is increasing your magnetism and attraction.  Nice, huh? ;-)

I began this post this morning, and then had to leave it for other work.  Later today I happened to be listening to a spiritual-based radio show where beauty was defined (don’t you love synchronicity?)  as,’The revelation of one’s grace.’  Which means the revelation of what’s inside. Your essence. Honoring who you are, without apology. I loved this – it is what I have struggled languaging -  and realized that hearing this was a sign for me to complete this post!

The more I invest in valuing the things that connect me to my own sense of beauty, the more whole and complete I feel, and in turn, the better person I am to others.  In our busy lives, it’s easy to ignore our own needs – especially on this topic –  and simply plug into what other’s value.  Over time, we can become as empty as some of the ‘stuff’ or ‘trends’ that we often see dictating ‘beauty’ and how to feel beautiful.

To give yourself a beauty boost – especially if you’re feeling lonely and desiring a love in your life, list out some ways that you connect to your own beauty. Then, decide that you will do one of them each day for one week.  See how you feel at the end of the week – I guarantee that you will have experienced a big shift.

Here are some ways that I connect to feeling beautiful within myself to help you along with your own list:

Lying or walking on a beach, feeling the sand beneath my feet, listening to the ocean

Having a meal of kale & seaweed salad from the Whole Foods salad bar (yum)

Moving my body to music on the elliptical at the gym, or dancing around my apartment, and working up a sweat

Communicating what’s absolutely true for me, without censoring to take care of the other person

A professional blow-out

Doing good & meaningful work: inspiring others – improving life experiences – whether in my work or volunteering

A great outfit when I am needing a great outfit

Earning an income that supports, nourishes and empowers me

Wearing jewelry & color that speaks to me & inspires me

Playing good music in my office, appartment, car , Ipod

A hot bath, bubbles – or – a baking soda & espsom salt clearing bath

Sending unexpected thoughtful notes, texts and cards to people that I love and appreciate

Petting animals, playing with kids.

To your beauty,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

It’s amazing how we can all feel alone – occasionally, or all the time. For those who experience this, you know it’s true: even when you have a relationship in your life, and maybe many friends, family, and more – at times you can still feel alone. Very alone. And that’s often more painful than the person who’s alone in a new city, or simply living a very quiet life with few people in it.

I can end up feeling alone when I’m really going against my grain and not honoring myself – for instance – when I use to surround myself with others that I didn’t have as much in common with, or that I had outgrown. Despite going through the motions, the actions and time spent felt pretty empty and meaningless.  If you’ve been here, you know it’s icky-feeling.  Or, when I’m not connecting with my husband in ways that I am yearning and needing to, whether it’s emotional, physical or spiritual. I feel the disconnect, and if I don’t address it, it just builds.

Jane Fonda was recently on the Oprah show – did you catch it?  Get a chance to if you can, it was incredibly inspiring. She’s 72 and she has such a young spirit – not to  looks amazing!  She’s taken significant steps to stay true to herself in her life, which is often simply staying the course of  continuing to acquaint yourself with yourself!  She said it’s a life long journey, and as I approach the end of my 30′s, I would agree. I feel like I’m just beginning.

Jane brought up feeling a lack of intimacy in her marriages – all 3.  Oprah needed to get clear – she wasn’t inferring that she wasn’t physical with them?  Jane spoke that even when you have physical intimacy, you can lack deeper intimacy, namely to be your full self with another.

Believe me, this is not as easy of a task as you might imagine. We can live our entire lives with others – partners, family, friends – yet not feel deeply seen or known.  Yes, this is a deep topic, but its a topic that I’m really passionate about, and something that I know many women yearn for. Intimacy. Connection. We think that if we have certain things, people, etc lined up in our lives – then we’ll be ‘happy’ (as we hear it referenced so much these days).  When we’re not, we wonder why.

I wonder, if we knew that we were not alone – that we are all connected (and on a deeper and more unseen level than by text, email and video!) – would we feel more free to reveal ourselves more, unafraid of rejection….and of being alone?  Would we show more of our deeper needs and desires to our beloved and create an opportunity for them to then be met?  Would we reveal more of our scary secrets to our friends, and feel more connected as a result?  Would we simply smile more at strangers, and open our hearts to others – meeting new people on the journey?

I often coax new clients to start small.  So in this case, if you are single and wanting relationship, or in one but desiring more connection, begin with yourself. How do you carry yourself and direct your thoughts?  Are you open and inclusive?  Or closed, negative and judgmental (if just inwardly)? Practice first with customer service on the phone, at the Apple store or Starbucks, or walking by a stranger.  Smile with eye contact, keep your voice kind, and your heart open.  Often with positive connections with strangers, we’re reminded that we’re really not alone. If we can connect with strangers, we can create positive relationships with the people in our lives – and bring new ones in – right?   And then we can take this truth and energy, and apply it to how we live our lives in rich, deeper  and more intimate and meaningful ways with others.

Oh how I’ve missed sharing my thoughts on this blog!  For those of you who subscribe and read, please know that I’ve felt a huge wide gap in my life in not connecting with you…it’s so nice to be back. ;-)

Where have I been? Well, I intentionally took about six months off from writing this blog and writing articles for my business.  It kind of happened organically, but there was also a deeper intention set beforehand by me as well. Intentions are what create our lives, and relationships, and so it was interesting to witness how this one played out for me, because sometimes I move so fast I can forget that I’m aware of an intention being set.  I do believe that we all hold our own answers – we just need to quiet down, listen, trust, and then simply (ha!) act on them. And get help when we need it with that process.  

So a trusted mentor suggested taking some time away from the writing and marketing, and not doing these things ‘publically’.  I  had started to feel like I was on a train that I wasn’t sure I wanted to be on, and maybe the destination wasn’t exactly for me anymore.  I felt the need to do something different.  And then there was also my relationship – my marriage – and some bumps in the road that were beginning to feel painful. We were needing some transformation.

It felt right in my heart to take the suggestion, even though I didn’t want to. And ‘logical’ thinking would argue the choice. But I pulled away from my established blogging & marketing routine, and channelled that energy into personal writing, healing, and new studies.

Cocoons are often necessary for growth.  This time for me was really that of ‘cocoon-ing up’ in some ways. Life still carried on and I still worked with clients, but the departure from the approach I had been taking and some time channeling that energy in new directions was incredibly transformative for me.  I feel like a new woman in some ways, and it’s really exciting and humbling, because it’s largely been a process of letting go.  I still have my training wings on – and do they ever actually come off?

I wanted to share my process with you  (and will be sharing more) because it’s so important, especially right now, at this time on our planet. Things are in a massive shift right now on just about every level. We are being demanded to change.  I know first hand how much resistance comes up when we desire new results – or desperately need them – but resist taking new actions, a new approach.  We don’t listen to that inner voice. We’re afraid of losing the validation and security that we’ve come to know by the roles that we play, with our life as we’ve come to know it.   Most of us are so conditioned by our society to ‘do’ and to ‘attain’ , that especially, if we have the yearning to change, or take some *intentional* time doing something different – or maybe nothing (intentionally ;-0) – we freak out, and resort to just crossing our fingers that things will work out eventually (or stay in victim-mode and play the blame game!)

Change can be so painful, and that’s why we resist it.   And, we’ve been raised to want and demand the ‘proof’ – the answers – the security, before we take any risk to change.  It takes risk and new actions to become who we are meant to be, and experience what we so desire in our hearts to experience.  I obviously need to remind myself  of this by reminding you.

Here’s some inner & outer work for you – take out your journal and write down your thoughts to:

What are you deeply desiring to change about the way you relate to life, and the people and things in it?  Get curious about the way you *relate* to being single, your partner, your work, your body.

Do you stay too busy and ignore your much-needed self-care?  Do you keep relationships in your life that don’t mirror and honor the love, beauty and brilliance in you?  Are you even able to *feel* and own those qualities in yourself?  (If you don’t, how can you expect someone else to?)

Now for an easy outer first step. Get to a quiet and grounded place within yourself, and then ask yourself what’s calling you – what would feel nurturing and healing for you to do – or not do?   Then, take action. Eliminate an energy drain – a person, dreaded event, messy room.  Next, schedule a nourishing activity: walk, bath, yoga class, massage. The magic is in the follow-through!

Much love,

Leslie

Dear Savvy Woman,

On the road to attracting your beloved – boyfriend, partner, or husband – there’s a process of shedding.  Sometimes it’s an organic process of conscious elimination of what we already know to be true based on past experience.  For example, in my twenties I seemed to find myself in relationships with men that I somehow ended up needing to fix or control.  They seemed to be a few steps ‘behind’ me in life, in a literal sense.  As I entered my late twenties and early thirties, I was very conscious of desiring a relationship where I felt more challenged and ‘called forth’ to be a bigger and better person by my partner.  

Sometimes we are not aware of what needs to be shed from our life in order to attract in what we desire, in this case, YOUR Mr. Right.  This is one reason why working with a mentor or coach pays incredible dividends.  Many clients have these incredible ‘Ah-ha!’s with me when we dive in, because we look at other areas of their life where there are less-than  desired results, or struggle, and we identify common denominators that require attention – and  change. They’re often very surprised that things are as connected as they are.  Shedding is being called – and it’s often not directly related with what is perceived to be related to love, dating, and relating.   As soon as something is eliminated – a behavior, a belief, a person, an attachment – room opens up for NEW – aliveness, good energy, growth – relationship.

As you desire YOUR Mr. Right, become more and more curious about what may need to shed within you, or within your life.  The most important step in this process is to take action despite whatever fears or doubts come up.  The Universe responds to action, and OFTEN it’s the actions that are not easily SEEN, but will be FELT and known by YOU (eliminating a limiting belief, a change in how you feel internally, etc.) that are the wham, shazam!..actions that change your life.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m talking with many women who are looking for their Mr. Right.  One thing that I notice that’s in their way – in a BIG way – is that they are lacking BELIEF. 

Now, don’t be fooled by the simplicity here.  Yes, we hear these beliefs all the time. We all hear from people that we talk to and know in our lives (even if you don’t specialize in this area like I do)  that ‘it’s hard out there’….’relationships don’t last’….’it’s not possible to focus on my career AND be in a healthy, vibrant relationship’….’being single over X age takes WORK’….ETC.  

These are all BELIEFS.   And a belief is simply a thought that has been repetitive enough within someones mind and being that it has been more permanently ‘grooved’ into a belief, like a woodworker carves grooves design into a piece of work, with stroke after stroke of their knife.

What’s essential is to realize that :

1) You are always at CHOICE with what you BELIEVE to be true.

2) Doing everything that it takes to re-create & live into BELIEFS  that support what you DESIRE in your life is non-negotiable.  It’s a MUST.

The truth is, you will continually meet resistance when you have a conflict between something you DESIRE, and the BELIEFS that you hold relating to that desire.   This area of life, love and relationships, works just like health, wealth, or beauty.  If you desire to make a million dollars, yet you don’t truly believe that it’s possible for YOU, you will struggle, and meet resistance, and have a hell of a time attracting that million dollars into your life.   If you desire to feel truly beautiful, but you don’t believe that you are beautiful, you won’t feel, embody nor exude your beauty.

My work with clients involves having them look at themselves and what they are doing , surrounding themselves with, focusing on, etc to support the CHANGE  that they want in their life. This involves detoxing and re-creating their  BELIEFS.   Sure, they can take the right ‘actions’ : date online to meet new men, extend themselves socially as much as possible, up-level their look to feel new and attractive, and truly let go of their past.  BUT, if they are doing all of these things yet they DON”T believe it’s really gonna happen – it’s not going to – at least not as effortlessly as they wish it would.  It may start and stop, or rev up and then burn out quickly, but they will continue to struggle in this area and have a much slower & difficult time meeting their guy.

And let this inspire you, because the really cool thing is that this is a key that unlocks so much.   So, it’s time for a little tough-love ladies, from me to you.   I want you to have an amazing time in this experience of growth and change as you attract YOUR Mr. Right.   So, take inventory of what you are investing in all the time- what  beliefs you are holding. 

And if you’re local to SF, I’m hosting a FREE talk on Navigating the Holidays as you find YOUR Mr. Right, Sunday evening 12/6.   Save a seat, and relax as you experience a focused hour on why it’s so important to believe, and to feel MAGNETIC – especially this magical holiday season.  I can’t wait!  RSVP by clicking HERE.  

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Let’s be grateful for what is and what matters most to us,  as we enter the holidays and soon say hello to 2010.

I’ll go first by sharing that I am so grateful for:

YOU, for the opportunity to connect with you in this way.

My health and Being: body, mind, spirit, and soul.  

My clients, and all the women who trust – and have trusted – me in guiding them to find their true love.  

All the brilliance, beauty and opportunity that exist on the planet in my lifetime.

My friends and family for their love and support,  and for being who they are in my life (or were), and teaching me what I most need to learn, sometimes to my great dis-comfort! 

The expansiveness and shiny-new experiences that emerge on the other side of the above dis-comfort!

And I’m grateful  - more with each passing day – to my husband Larry for being more than I could have ever imagined as a friend and husband – and teacher.  Last Thanksgiving we did not spend  together (that’s for another blog post or maybe even a book!).  I’m learning so much about myself and about life being in this relationship.  It’s both life-giving and humbling.

All the people that have paved the road for me and you, including my beloved mom who passed away 15 years ago.  I love you Mom, and miss you. 

And as I end this blog, I look inside the book cover of a book I read in the mid-9o’s after my mother passed, that her sister, my Aunt Margo, sent to me “Simple Abundance”, by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  This is syncronistic.  I read on this inside cover what I  know I am to share with you, a prayer that I learned from an Oprah show back then that John Gray shared with the audience, and that helped me to connect to my higher self, to the Universe and to more abundance.

“Oh glorious future, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.

Oh glorious G*d, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.”

Happy Thanksgiving from me to you ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com