is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of the universe. You were born to manifest the glory of the universe that is within us.  It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

-Marianne Williamson

My savvy friends,

I was meeting a new friend over coffee yesterday, and we were speaking of the feelings that can come up as we pursue our heart’s desires; our biggest dreams. 

This quote came to mind.  It turns out we both knew it well - a favorite - as I’m sure those of you that have come across it might agree.

It’s powerful,  isn’t it?

We were speaking about fears, and  what gets in our way (US!).

I shared that recently I was aware of this feeling of guilt that comes up when I experience myself manifesting success and happiness in my life.   Where does that come from?  Why is it here?   Why would I feel guilty????

I re-read this quote this morning and it brought me comfort and inspiration.

I hope it does for you.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com 

Dear Savvy Woman,

We just turned off our cable.  Ahhhh!  I feel like a dieter who’s successfully removed all ice cream and cookies from the house, and while munching on baby carrots is feeling refreshingly good, I’m still wandering in to the kitchen apres dinner, hunting for the sweet stuff! 

The experiement:  We are exclusively relying on Netflix to bring us our home entertainment a la the screen.   Although we haven’t worked our way over to Nip Tuck or Living Lohan (is that a Que possibility yet - i’m not even sure), we just might.  After the carrots and grapes (The Bucket List, and The Moses Code were our health food this weekend) lose their luster, we are prepared to get lured back to the white flour and sugar of Reality TV and B-Movie Comedies. 

The nice thing I’ve found is that I can have just one cookie when it comes to TV.  It’s taken a change in relationship, but I’ve learned that the whole plate has me feeling low, not to mention a little sick.

And, just like everything, a little won’t kill ya.

I bring this up, my savvy friends,  because TV is really powerful at creating company and sucking the creativity, not to mention connection, out of us. No date or fun plans?  TV will put it’s arm around you on Sat night and whisper sweet nothings. For hours. 

I have a client, ‘Jill’.  Jill and I started working together and the focus was on looking at how she was approaching her life as a single woman who was ready for a healthy, long-term partnership.   To get her started with a healthier foundation, we deleted some phone numbers from her cell that were ‘no longer serving her’ , and we took a look at some outdated beliefs and limited ways of thinking.   We also changed her relationship with TV.  This was front and center in her life, and she called it.   She knew right away that she needed to change her TV habit.   What happened?  Her energy soared:  she exercised more, she spent more time creating in the kitchen which she loved doing.  Jill swapped the time that was spent in front of the TV and now spent it reading, reflecting, and visioning - all excellent ways to connect you to yourself, create presence and focus on positive outcomes.

So…let’s get real.    Cable got you down?  Like, down for the count?  Don’t fear!  Make the change in baby steps.  Set some boundaries - 30  min. a night, a certain show or two, and leave it at that.  You can still indulge, it’s OK.   You will find that some very cool things unfold  the more you get away from the tube and into your life.  And, know that you can dip back into the good stuff now and then. 

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

This morning in my boot-camp workout (http://pacwestathletics.com - they rock!) we ran stair after stair (the Lyon Street stairs, for you locals), eight times in total.  I’ve never done those stairs that many times, bootcamp or not.  And, I’ve never sweated that much at 6am, not as much as I did today. 

I found myself grumbling as Richard, our instructor and the co-founder, announced that we’d be doing a second set of four more.  This was asking too much, I thought.  I was tired going into the morning to start, and my mind started resisting the idea that I would be able to do it all.   I wanted to languish in my comfort zone.  I didn’t want to push myself this morning to go further than I ever had.   Especially running steep stairs - not my strong suit - or so I think.

Turns out, as I’m sure you’re guessing, I did it.  Feigning off a cold and feeling grumpy,  I still was able to push through it and felt better for it on the other side. 

And it reminded me of how I work with clients continually on stepping out of their comfort zones.   Not as you might imagine, either.   Yes, we do take a look at the obvious, such as how they are experiencing dating and relationship, what they’re doing that’s working and what’s not - and that certainly calls them forth out of a comfort zone.

What tends to be more powerful, especially starting out, and is the gas to get the car to drive further to it’s destination, is looking at some of the little comfort zones that comprise their lives.  It’s the time they’re waking up in the morning - just enough time to shower (or not) and hop on email at 9am.   Changing her wake up time to an hour earlier,  ‘Amy’  now takes time to exercise or give herself ‘me’ time for meditation, reading, and setting the intention for her day - and it’s attracting men like magnets to metal.   She feels like she is a new woman on some levels, and that ALWAYS  spills over to every other part.

Over the weekend, Larry and I were invited to a pool party in Sonoma.  I was chatting with a guy, ‘Joe’, about life in San Francisco.  On the topic of dating and relationship, I asked him what he was attracted to in a woman (I’m always SO curious = ), can’t help myself) and he said he didn’t have a type (good answer!).  He did, however, proceed to list a lot of interests of his, and that he’d like his lady to be able to hang with those. 

I had the sense that what might be holding Joe back from a great relationship is that he might be in a comfort zone, if you will.  And this comfort zone is one of the thought that if he meets someone who doesn’t participate in some of the hobbies and interests that he pursues, that they won’t work, he’ll be held back, etc etc.  

Comfort zones.  They take so many forms.  We all have them.  We’re human.

So, my savvy friend, what’s one of yours that comes easily to mind?   Take a step this week to  make a shift - try something out, something new.  They’ll be a payoff on the other side!

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

It must be the full moon.  I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a little scattered, a little restless.  A little off.  When I feel this way, I tend to hold on to negative thoughts in my head.  Ugh!  

This is when I know I need to turn to some form of inspirtation to shake me & let me step into a more positive perspective.

Recently I discovered this website for Angel cards - and I loved it - so I’m sharing it with you:

http://www.consciousone.com/angelcards.com

Follow the instructions, and find some inspiration.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I had such a fun weekend!  Two fun birthday-bash dinners for friends, one big hike in Marin, and a trip to the East Bay to spend some quality time with my Dad on Father’s Day.  Whew!   Come Sunday night, I was so exhausted, I rewarded myself after grocery shopping and dinner with back to back episodes of the new Denise Richards reality show (not sure if that’s a reward, but it felt indulgent). I stayed up way too late, which was part of the fun.

Aside from all the celebration this weekend, I got some distance for myself in two ways.  One, was getting some distance from my sweetie.  Larry was away to Chicago for the weekend to visit his family.  Don’t get me wrong, although we do argue and have tension from time to time like other couples, we parted in a very strong and loving place, and I knew that I would miss not having him as my handsome date and companion.   However, I warmed up to the weekend living as a ‘Single’ gal:  playing my music loud, giggling & empathisizing with girlfriends over delicious dinners, and taking as long as I wanted in the shower and in my closet, candles lit.  It was a sweet reminder of what life was like when I was Single and only had to concern myself with Me. 

Distance from being part of a couple, and from having my best friend and husband at my side, at home and out.   The other distance came from getting that distance.  The second layer of distance was at realizing that although I had this sweet reminder of what my Single life was like, I realized that I was a visitor there.  I am no longer that woman.  As I approach my one-year wedding anniversary, it was very syncronistic timing to get a new perspective on this awareness.

I’m writing about this because it served as a reminder to me that we all need to get some distance, from time to time, to hit refresh and get a taste of other perspectives.  It’s extremely healthy.  Life is every-changing and never static, although sometimes we struggle to make it so.   We resist the chapter turning, if at least for a moment.  We can fight to keep our same looks if we’re resisting aging, our old stories when we’re resisting change, our single-status when we’re resisting committment, our same friendships when we’re resisting outgrowing them, our non-parental status when we’re resisting children, etc etc etc. 

I encourage you to try getting some distance here and there, for yourself. 

• Force yourself to schedule alone time (this is REALLY hard when you’re madly in love, or lust, in the newness of dating or relationship, but even MORE important so as not to loose yourself completely). 
• Try out a new option (neighborhood, style of dressing, type of date, anything!)
• Mix things up where you feel very tied to routine or way of doing something, or way of being.
• Listen to that little voice that says, “I miss doing….,  I am craving……, I’d love to try……” and  just do it.

When you do, you’ll feel more alive, renewed and complete - right where you are.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I often coach my clients to journal.  This is not an easy task if you’re not accustomed to doing so - I know.   One thing that I always find is a help - both for myself and for my clients - is to begin with a Gratitude List.  I got this idea from a book that Oprah made famous, Simple Abundance, by Sara Ban Breathnach. 

The idea is to give thanks to what you have, what you enjoy, what is true.   Small and big.  Simple pleasures. 

Taking time to list these things can shift our perspecitve dramatically.   Suddenly, we realize that we have many things to take pleasure and comfort in.   We don’t need to keep our mental focus on what we seemingly lack or don’t have.

For example, my list today:

1.  Feeling the sun on my face and the warm air.

2. Laughing and making it through 6am bootcamp this morning.

3.  A sweet email from a friend I don’t get to see much.

4.  The ability to do work that I love today.

5.  A sweet kiss from my husband.

Writing this list drops me in to how I’m feeling, and slows me down to take notice of all that I am able to do and to experience.   Especially if I’m feeling uninspired or in negative thinking, writing 5 things to be grateful for always helps turn me around.  

Try it out!

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

 I’m a little exhausted today. Yesterday, yours truly celebrated her 37th birthday.  Sure, why not, I’ll throw out the number.  I’m not afraid.  After all, it’s just a number.  It’s all of my life experiences rolled up into a big-small-in between number, whatever your perspective happens to be at the time that you look at it - right?

I had a wonderful day.  It was perfect. It was a combination of family and friends, pampering and purpose, with celebration weaved throughout.  Spoken - or written - like a true Taurus.  = )

Birthday = Birth Day, is marked annually, however I want to share with you an important reminder: EVERY DAY we are given a NEW DAY -  each day we have an opportunity to begin a-new, to start again, and  so,  we are truly living our BIRTH DAY every day.   I’ve just reached my 37th year, and that means that I have really celebrated  13, 505 birth days.

13, 505

Yowza.  That’s a lot of days!  Hmmm….I might like the 37 number a bit better = ).

But, back to the reason for this post.  Every day is our BIRTH DAY.   Every day we are at CHOICE to begin a-new.  How fabulous is that?   Can you feel into the truth of that?  Truly?  

Because it’s the fact, jack.  We don’t have to wait for our official birthday to come around.  We can celebrate ourselves every day.  We can choose to honor ourselves every day.  We can consciously make choices that support our desires and vision, we can infuse fun and celebration into our days, and we can take inventory of all that we are grateful for and for all that we are. 

Wait a second.  As I write this, I’m thinking about the reality that each day is a birth day.  Each day is a day to begin a-new.  So, scratch the 13, 505 number for me, would you?    I’m acutally at 1.

Happy Birth Day.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Can you decide to be happy… NOW?  Can you make the choice that if this moment is all that we truly have, that despite how the picture of your life looks to you today, this month, this year as you turn ____,( insert age), you are going to be Happy?

What does that truly mean, anyway - being Happy? 

Is it a ’state of being’?   If so, is it fleeting, is it permanent?  I don’t know about you, but I am guilty of walking around with thoughts that point to many things defining my happiness - I might do this a lot less than I use to, but I am still guilty.  Unless we are all closer to the self-actualization of Buddha, Ghandi, and the like - we can probably relate to this, right?

“When I get to here ______(insert phase of life:  that relationship/amount in the bank/state of a relationship/ ‘landing spot’ of whatever),  then I’ll *really* be Happy.

My clients come to me with the desire to find love.  We take a look at things that are getting in their way - from limiting thoughts, lost belief in that it’s even possible, and also things like negative habits/attachments that deplete their energy and creativity - leaving them living ’small’.

You know what I hear more and more?  “Well, I know that when I meet ________ (him - a great guy/my boyfriend/my husband), THEN I’ll be happy.”   I nod my internal head, relating to this woman’s thoughts, as I use to subscribe to the same belief.   And it kept me living small, when I wanted to live BIG.  

 When I met my husband, it was after I decided that I wanted to live BIG, regardless of whether of not I had a guy  that I was crazy about in my life.  I simply decided to live life without him. For now.  Finally.  I ended things with the guy who I was currently miserable with (a nice, funny, successful, attractive and very unavailable man), and  I moved forward with a career change, trips and treats for myself, and a succession of daily small, simple choices to support my values of FUN and EASE.  All that rolled up into me feeling pretty good - I was satisfied with my life as it was. Sure, I was desiring him, and I kept that desire tucked in my back pocket, like a little shiny pebble of rose quartz.   I knew it was there, and I kept it close.

What I witness is a lot of women contintuing to walk around, living with this huge boulder that’s landed in their living room.  It’s impossible not to see it -it’s there - kerplunk.  And it gets in the way of everything. It’s the “He’s not here, so I can’t even begin to decorate, or even walk or live comfortably in here, until he is.”  That boulder is all of the negative thoughts and beliefs,  held resentments and regrets, and dissappointments that have formed into rock - a boulder - and it’s sitting in the living rooms of many women.  It’s serving as this huge paperweight - holding down the precious lives of beautiful women everywhere. 

If you are one of the millions tuning into the Eckert Tolle/Oprah online classroom on the book ‘A New Earth’, you might be looking at what this means.  I’m not actually following this book on Oprah.com, but I have read it.  Tolle writes, “Don’t seek happiness. If you seek it, you won’t find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness.  Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it.  Unhappiness covers up your natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true happiness.”

 (Stay tuned for Part 2….)

From my savvy heart to yours,

with love ~

Leslie 

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Larry and I are hooked on the remake of the series Battlestar Galactica (an entire story in itself – but i’ll save it for another time) and we usually treat ourselves to an episode or two a week.  Sometimes we  O.D. on three or more episodes in one sitting, but, as balance is key in everything, we tend to refrain from gorging too often.

In case you’re not familiar with this show (I really can’t imagine! = )), the gist is that the human race is fighting a war against the Cylons,  trying to save their race, discover earth, and stay alive in this war occurring in various galaxies.   Often they use the tactic of ‘jumping’ to another ‘position’ in the galaxy, or into a new galaxy, to save themselves.  Well, I tell you, I found myself in awe of this ability – to say ‘See ya!’ – and , in a second, find themselves in a new, stronger position. 

Although the cat is now out of the bag (I actually watch this), I’ll let it out further and say that we’ve watched enough  that I find myself joking referencing the show (“So Say We All!”).  Just this morning while in session with my coach, I spoke of a limiting belief that I’ve held on to and found myself saying, “God, I am so OVER this!  I just want to JUMP.” (Thankfully she was both familiar with the BG series, and knew that my comment was in context of the show, not standing on a bridge.)  Wanting to shed this limiting belief that was showing up by way of remaining stagnant and ‘playing small’ (coaching lingo), I wanted to propel myself into a new state by JUMPING, rather than taking the baby steps necessary to work it through, which would result in the same – bring me to a new galaxy.

Savvy ladies, you know what I’m talking about.  I’m most certain you do, because you are a woman. As women, we feel, and give, and desire, and aspire.  Often we get really caught up in the first two, and when the second two kick in or catch up, we want to JUMP.  To new galaxies, a new place.  “John” has been disappointing you – and it’s feeling now three months too much. You’re ready to end it.  How easy is it to want to JUMP, and grab hold of a new “John”, rather than first responsibly and reasonably communicate your needs and desires, directly and authentically, and see what comes of it.  Urrrg…. It can just be easier to JUMP, right?  Find a new guy that might be more ‘right’.  Just move on.

On the show, the mother ship, the Battlestar, often walks this line of reacting by way of positioning for a jump, yet assessing the situation to determine if it’s the correct course of action  - the right time - to perform a JUMP.  If it’s the right thing to do.  They could continually jump, but sometimes they find themselves into stickier situations when they do that, like leaving some of the fleet behind or losing their fuel source changing galaxies. It can be an easy out.

Don’t get me wrong - there’s nothing wrong with making a JUMP.  In fact the JUMPS are what makes life’s challenges worth it.  Unfortunately, we’re not living on the Battlestar and can’t just hit a button to launch us into a new galaxy in a light second.  We need to map out the ‘jump coordinates’ by way of using our awareness, truth, and desires to guide us towards that JUMP.  We need to do some work in order to get to where we want to be.I can say that being in relationship with my husband Larry, is a tremendous JUMP from the dating and relating experiences of mine 4 or 5 years ago.  What occurred before, in between, and after was (and is!)  some ‘work’.   I didn’t stay out of relationship for the past 5 years, I didn’t stop taking risks, I didn’t just sit and close my eyes and fantasize about “Mr. Right” who would appear and be perfect and make my life perfect, and I didn’t look only beyond myself, pointing outward as the reasons and excuses as to why I wasn’t happy in relationship. This JUMP occurred for me (and continues to occur) by practicing my Love Savvy Principles (www.belovesavvy.com/approach).

Here is to exploring the galaxies of our dreams…So Say We All!    From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com