Distance
Dear Savvy Woman,
I had such a fun weekend! Two fun birthday-bash dinners for friends, one big hike in Marin, and a trip to the East Bay to spend some quality time with my Dad on Father’s Day. Whew! Come Sunday night, I was so exhausted, I rewarded myself after grocery shopping and dinner with back to back episodes of the new Denise Richards reality show (not sure if that’s a reward, but it felt indulgent). I stayed up way too late, which was part of the fun.
Aside from all the celebration this weekend, I got some distance for myself in two ways. One, was getting some distance from my sweetie. Larry was away to Chicago for the weekend to visit his family. Don’t get me wrong, although we do argue and have tension from time to time like other couples, we parted in a very strong and loving place, and I knew that I would miss not having him as my handsome date and companion. However, I warmed up to the weekend living as a ‘Single’ gal: playing my music loud, giggling & empathisizing with girlfriends over delicious dinners, and taking as long as I wanted in the shower and in my closet, candles lit. It was a sweet reminder of what life was like when I was Single and only had to concern myself with Me.
Distance from being part of a couple, and from having my best friend and husband at my side, at home and out. The other distance came from getting that distance. The second layer of distance was at realizing that although I had this sweet reminder of what my Single life was like, I realized that I was a visitor there. I am no longer that woman. As I approach my one-year wedding anniversary, it was very syncronistic timing to get a new perspective on this awareness.
I’m writing about this because it served as a reminder to me that we all need to get some distance, from time to time, to hit refresh and get a taste of other perspectives. It’s extremely healthy. Life is every-changing and never static, although sometimes we struggle to make it so. We resist the chapter turning, if at least for a moment. We can fight to keep our same looks if we’re resisting aging, our old stories when we’re resisting change, our single-status when we’re resisting committment, our same friendships when we’re resisting outgrowing them, our non-parental status when we’re resisting children, etc etc etc.
I encourage you to try getting some distance here and there, for yourself.
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Force yourself to schedule alone time (this is REALLY hard when you’re madly in love, or lust, in the newness of dating or relationship, but even MORE important so as not to loose yourself completely).
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Try out a new option (neighborhood, style of dressing, type of date, anything!)
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Mix things up where you feel very tied to routine or way of doing something, or way of being.
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Listen to that little voice that says, “I miss doing…., I am craving……, I’d love to try……” and just do it.
When you do, you’ll feel more alive, renewed and complete - right where you are.
From my savvy heart to yours,
Leslie
The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach
Tags: dating coach, inspirtation, Leslie Stewart, life coaching, love, relationships