Happiness Now
Can you decide to be happy… NOW? Can you make the choice that if this moment is all that we truly have, that despite how the picture of your life looks to you today, this month, this year as you turn ____,( insert age), you are going to be Happy?
What does that truly mean, anyway - being Happy?
Is it a ’state of being’? If so, is it fleeting, is it permanent? I don’t know about you, but I am guilty of walking around with thoughts that point to many things defining my happiness - I might do this a lot less than I use to, but I am still guilty. Unless we are all closer to the self-actualization of Buddha, Ghandi, and the like - we can probably relate to this, right?
“When I get to here ______(insert phase of life: that relationship/amount in the bank/state of a relationship/ ‘landing spot’ of whatever), then I’ll *really* be Happy.
My clients come to me with the desire to find love. We take a look at things that are getting in their way - from limiting thoughts, lost belief in that it’s even possible, and also things like negative habits/attachments that deplete their energy and creativity - leaving them living ’small’.
You know what I hear more and more? “Well, I know that when I meet ________ (him - a great guy/my boyfriend/my husband), THEN I’ll be happy.” I nod my internal head, relating to this woman’s thoughts, as I use to subscribe to the same belief. And it kept me living small, when I wanted to live BIG.
When I met my husband, it was after I decided that I wanted to live BIG, regardless of whether of not I had a guy that I was crazy about in my life. I simply decided to live life without him. For now. Finally. I ended things with the guy who I was currently miserable with (a nice, funny, successful, attractive and very unavailable man), and I moved forward with a career change, trips and treats for myself, and a succession of daily small, simple choices to support my values of FUN and EASE. All that rolled up into me feeling pretty good - I was satisfied with my life as it was. Sure, I was desiring him, and I kept that desire tucked in my back pocket, like a little shiny pebble of rose quartz. I knew it was there, and I kept it close.
What I witness is a lot of women contintuing to walk around, living with this huge boulder that’s landed in their living room. It’s impossible not to see it -it’s there - kerplunk. And it gets in the way of everything. It’s the “He’s not here, so I can’t even begin to decorate, or even walk or live comfortably in here, until he is.” That boulder is all of the negative thoughts and beliefs, held resentments and regrets, and dissappointments that have formed into rock - a boulder - and it’s sitting in the living rooms of many women. It’s serving as this huge paperweight - holding down the precious lives of beautiful women everywhere.
If you are one of the millions tuning into the Eckert Tolle/Oprah online classroom on the book ‘A New Earth’, you might be looking at what this means. I’m not actually following this book on Oprah.com, but I have read it. Tolle writes, “Don’t seek happiness. If you seek it, you won’t find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it. Unhappiness covers up your natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true happiness.”
(Stay tuned for Part 2….)
From my savvy heart to yours,
with love ~
Leslie
The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach
Tags: Dating, life coaching, love, relationships, self-improvement