‘How’ will it Happen???
Friday, October 3rd, 2008Dear Savvy Woman,
I’m finding myself looking at this subject a lot, whether I’m working with clients, or I’m looking at myself and my own approach to goals and dreams.
The always right there, one-step-behind: ” How???? ”
You know what I’m talking about, right?
We can dream, vision, desire and get all fired up about what it would look, feel, taste like. And then - maybe it’s in a next moment, or next day, or next month. Perhaps it’s after many steps towards it but, in a one-step-back (perceived) moment. We do it. We go to the HOW?
HOW is….
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my dream relationship going to arrive?
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am i going to loose those last 5 lbs? or the 30?
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will my work, in which i am in utopia, by the way, arrive?
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can i get my relationship back on track, because we are so far off of center?!
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will i get on the Oprah show?
Can you relate? Do you have seemingly far-off, outlandish, or ‘impossible!’ desires that you can daydream of, but as you take a serious look -talk about- take a step toward, very quickly stop you dead in your tracks when you’re mind rests on the
H-O-W?
Me too.
I do. And here’s the thing: the H-O-W is our biggest enemy. Biggest!! Because when we are looking at where we are & where we want to be - and focusing on what seems like a big wide open space between the two, where no proof of our desired state is there waiting for us, we panic. The ‘How’ is actually out there, raising it’s hands, saying - “Over here! I’m right here! You’re on the right track! you can do this! Just take a step.”
No, we are not 10 month-olds trying to take a first step. Or are we? Why not try that visual on for size? Pretend that 10 month olds can read, just for this example.
So, you are a 10 month old baby. Mommy is coaxing you to take your first giant step, as she’s witnessed you holding on to the coffee table, standing tall and strong - on your very own. You stand holding on for dear life, and she’s several feet away from you, hands out - telling you you can come to her - all smiles. But, just next to her is a big, bold sign that says,
“HOW?”
As this particular 10 month old in our example, you can register what this sign means to you. It is saying ‘ Come on - you haven’t taken a step yet - Missy - what makes you think you’re going to begin right this minute? Huh? Tell me. Tell me! Don’t even try it.”
What if you, as this 10 month old, believed more strongly on this grumpy, bully sign than you did your Mom ?
Dream coach Marsha Weider, whom I heard speak in past months, refers to this as ‘going to strategy too soon.’ When we do, our dreams get ’schquelched’, she says. We get stopped before we get started.
The HOW actually shows up. It does. Absolutely. But we have to BELIEVE it is possible (our desire, our dream, our goal) and take ACTION toward it. As we do, the HOW gets taken care of.
I’m so sad just typing this. I really am. What would our world be like if we all decided to not look at that ‘bully sign’ - the HOW? - and decided to go for it anyway?
Unlimited possibilites.
With love,
From my savvy heart to yours ~
Leslie
The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach