Dear Savvy Woman,

We get bombarded with ideas on how to be sexy, and there’s a tremendous amount of pressure put upon us.  The right hair, clothes, lingerie…these can all contribute to feeling and looking sexy -no doubt.  And, there’s also SO MUCH to tap into that you already embody and own.  Sometimes we just forget, or we get ideas in our heads of ‘all that we should or have to do’ to be Sexy.  Not true. 

The thing is, there are SO many ways that you can connect to your essence and bring out the natural, feminine glow  = Sexy glow , that you’re designed to exude in a quick, simple, and no-cost way.  As I write this, I realized that I left the biggest one off my list : self-pleasure. 

Absolutely, do this on a regular basis.  It doesn’t cost anything, and it’s quick (if it’s not, you can discover how to be!)  Aside from that, I’ve listed here some things that work for me and my clients, to shift out of ‘Do-mode’ and drop into ‘Be-ing’. Drop into Sexy.

You’re date picks up your energy.  We can tell when someone is stressed, uptight, insecure, or rushed.   What does it do to us?  It puts us off.  We get uncomfortable.    This isn’t what you want to exhibit or contribute on a date.  Our society might value this do-do-do, ‘make it happen’-lifestyle, but if you’re looking to connect with a guy and find a great intimate relationship, you have to invite that in.

You might wonder how some of these add to your Sexy-factor, but trust me, they do. Sexy isn’t sexy unless it’s authentic.  We can tell when some one’s trying to hard. Despite going through the ‘right’ motions, it ends up being repelling, isn’t it? 

These are simple, quick, and low-to-zero cost:

• Step into a pair of gorgeous, sexy heels and wear them as you’re getting ready in the morning.
• Put an extra 5 minutes beyond ’normal’ to tend to your appearance in the morning: make-up, style your hair, put on body lotion, perfume. Care and attention makes you feel beautiful to YOU, and others pick up that energy.
• Make a conscious effort to walk just a little slower - with body awareness - and smile at everyone you pass by, even if you don’t feel like it.  Fake it til you make it, if necessary.  It will work.
• Light candles and play your favorite music for yourself as you prepare to go out.  Seduce yourself.
• Add to your outfit with a hint of color, jewelry, different shoes - before segueing from office -to - date.  This tells yourself, and your date, that the work hat is off - you’re back to being a soft and receptive woman. 
• Take 5 minutes to relax before running to your date straight from work.  Take some deep breathes, paint your nails, listen to music on your Ipod.  Notice the sunset or watch the rain.  Get out of your head and become more present to yourself and who you engage with.
• Focus on who you are authentically BEING with your date.  Be interested. Be open. Be yourself. Be present to simply what is - you’re connecting with another human being - not on ‘what may be’. 
• Slow down.  Slow your mind.  Slow down how you move.  Slow your speech.  This relaxes you & whoever you’re with.  It creates room for more presence & is very inviting.
• Take the pressure off.  The more present you stay to yourself and to your date, the more opportunity there is to notice if there is a connection.  Stop sizing him up, sizing yourself up, future-thinking.
• Mix it up.  I notice a lot of singles have ‘their place’ for meeting dates - same bar, restaurant, coffee shop.  Vary it.  Don’t get in too much of a routine for convenience-sake.  It can impact the energy for both yourself and the date you’re going on.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’ve created the results that I’ve desired in my life by focusing on them - as if they were already in my life.  What we focus on increases - have you heard that before?  If you’ve followed any of my work, I know that you have! :)   As humans, we can all waver with this, even if we are pretty well studied here and have witnessed our lives change as a result of this Universal principle and Truth.  We must continue to manage, with greater and greater proficiency, the gap between who we BE in the here and now, and who we actually ARE - as divine beings.

When I was single - which, marrying at 36, means I had a good long time of dating and relationships before I met my husband - I for a very long time was focused on LACK.  If I was without a date or without a boyfriend, I was frequently coming from a place of ‘less-than’ or ‘not enough’, because I was fixed on what was missing and what I wanted that wasn’t ‘here’ yet.

Are you that woman?  Do you constantly look to what you don’t have and look at your friends and strangers and imagine that they are in utopia and complete, while you are in LACK?   I understand - I’ve been there.  As humans, we can all struggle with this when we want something (relationship, fitness, wealth, adventure) and it’s not ‘here’ yet.

You might not see that you are that woman, because to yourself and from the outside you’re ‘living the good life’.  But are you buying it?  What are you telling yourself?   Are you telling yourself you’re ‘bad’ and ‘unwanted’ if your date doesn’t ask you out again, or you find yourself out of relationship for months or years?  

What completely changed my personal life, largely by what vibration I was in, was what I focused on.  When I started to really , REALLY focus on what my heart DESIRED, life changed - dramatically.   Life got FUN and it FLOWED.  It wasn’t seamless from the ‘outside’, but it felt seamless on the inside.  I had to let go of a lot - what it was that i “thought’ I wanted and more so, what I had known, and who I had been.   I stepped into a larger version of me by focusing on what I wanted, BEFORE the proof that it existed showed up.   THAT IS THE KEY.

1.   Stop focusing on what you don’t want.  Careful here - you might not think that you’re doing this, especially if you’re busy, ‘happy’, etc -  so take an honest look at your thoughts.    “I don’t want to be single at 40, 50, 60″…….  are you running that story in your mind? 

2.   Start focusing on what you do want,  and acting as if it’s already here (  and it is, but you have to raise to the vibration for it to be received into your life.   Are you currently vibrating at ‘it’s not here!’ ‘i’m alone - still!’ ‘men suck!’ ‘there’s no available men in San Francisco!’).

3. Your attraction-gauge operates based on your emotions.  If you are feeling good (by thinking good thoughts) , and focused on what it is you desire, your vibration will change to the frequency by which your desire is vibrating, and you will attract it in.  Let go of the HOW and the SHOULDS, and focus on how you are FEELING and BEING, resting in patient EXPECTENCY. 

In good vibes and with love and gratitude,

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com