This saying is so true.  Recently,  I’ve had a lot of ‘stuff” come up to heal, and I’ve become more brave in facing the pain vs distracting myself in all the various ways I know how and have done in the past.  And have become accustomed to. Breaking patterns can be so damn hard, whatever those patterns may be. For many of us, it includes not feeling our feelings – especially the hard ones, stuck ones, big ones. But when we stop, and feel – we heal. It’s actually the only way, as the other saying that’s on the money on this topic is:  whatever does not get expressed, gets repressed.

We’ve been raised to keep going, never stop, watch the ‘clock’, move on, and replace – like a marathon runner.  Don’t you meet some marathoner’s who look really worn out?  Are you worn out?  If so, where ? Or how?  What are you feeling?

Feel it to heal it.  It’s really simple.  If we allow ourselves to stop and feel into our hearts, especially when it’s hard to, we’ll feel something. It may not be pretty, and that’s OK. It’s more than OK. It’s really, really good actually. The Ugly Duckling that we’ve been relegating to the edge of the pond that is our heart, when given some pond-time, will turn into a Beautiful Swan.

My heart has been healing as I’ve been separated from my husband for a few months now.  For any readers who follow this blog, you heard a little bit about this from me last winter – that we were going through something.  That something has been an intense time of soul-searching, following Truth (inner guidance), and making hard decisions. As private as this journey has been and is for me, I know that I’m meant to share learning and wisdom on the other side of this, and intend to do that.

Through this journey, I’m reminded that love never dies but will always change form at some point, and that following one’s heart can be as painful at times as it is joyous. Especially if you’re someone who loves hard, fast and with loyalty. I still – maybe even more than ever – believe in love, sometimes ‘fast’ love, and loyalty.  What I’m learning, however painfully, is that fine line in relationship, and partnership – as to where to draw the line between loyalty to ‘other’, to ‘relationship’ , and loyalty to one’s Self. It’s a big one, for a lot of us.

Lot’s and lots of pond time going on.  Journaling a few times a day. Getting things out, and feeling into them. Getting back to nature with walks, hikes and simple appreciation. Sessions with my mentor. Getting loved up by beautiful friends and family.

It can be really scary to go into places that you haven’t really been to within yourself, but if you don’t, how can you expect anyone else to nurture, see or care for that part of you? We attract who we are, and where we are emotionally, energetically.  Feel it, love it up, and let go of what you need to.  <3

Much love,

Leslie

Today I woke up  with the luxury of my morning being clear on my schedule.

I had a thought come in.

“Take a bath this morning”, the thought said.

Quickly, my rational mind (specifically, LG aka Logistics Girl) shut that idea down, real fast.

“What about your workout, what about how soft and relaxed you’ll feel afterward (shouldn’t that be a night-time thing, and why would you want to feel soft and relaxed at the beginning of your day?  And on, and on, she droned).

After a short morning ritual of meditation and writing down a few thoughts, LG took over quickly, and I took some time to return email, make a few calls, and look at my schedule for the rest of the day. I had appointments and an evening writing workshop. I knew my morning was clear.

The idea came back and reminded me that it would be REALLY nurturing for me to take a bath. Today. This morning.

I’d had a stressful, emotional few days. My body felt tense, already, this morning. I decided, before committing to the bath concept, and to pull an Angel card (Dorreen Virtues are beautiful), and see what SHE had to say about things.  (Isn’t it crazy that we ache for free time, for NEW, and then when we have it, if it’s not spent doing our familiar down-time routines – if we even have any besides TV and Tabloids – we (I) still doubt our intuitive nudges?)

‘Sulis’ – the Goddess governing Bodys of Water – was the card I pulled.  ’Take an epsom salt bath to clear your body and emotions”, was one of the actions that Sulis recommended.   Well, wouldn’t you know it.  The bath I had wanted to take was to be an epsom salt and baking soda bath (very healing and clearing combination – 1lb. each). Wouldn’t you know?

So off I went – giving in. (Lol!)  I added a few drops of a beautiful blended oil from www.evanstarspa.com, and soaked for 20.  It felt odd, being off my weekday morning routine, but it was divine.  And I’ve had the best day since.

Taking new loving actions towards ourselves can sometimes be met with LOTS of resistance.  Our mind and ego knows how to put up a really good fight to keep us the same.  Our Intuition knows EXACTLY what we need, what is the Truth, if we will only listen to it. I’m learning more and more how big the pay off is when I do.  But what a mentor reminds me of is this :  We don’t listen to it, because it will require CHANGE. It requires taking action.

How do you listen to your intuition, and what you need to love yourself more?  If you don’t know how to answer this, but you want to – I highly recommend creating a space to listen.  If you don’t, the guidance can’t come in and reach you.  And it’s instant – it’s quick – it’s right there. To journal, you’ll want to carve out a few minutes each morning or evening, and write down reflections, thoughts, yearnings. Keep it simple, and consistent, for a week or two.  I guarantee that you’ll receive messages on how to love yourself more…which always leads to more expansion… in love and life.

With love!

Leslie

I’m excited to do a few New Year’s Rituals today – firsts for me. What I usually do is reflect the last few weeks of the year and get clear on some new intentions and goals for myself for the upcoming New Year.  Writing a letter to yourself as if you are at the end of that next year – and what you are grateful for – is a powerful way to seal in your vision.

In that process, I also chose one word (an idea that floated around on Facebook this month that I thought was so simple yet powerful) to capture what I want to embody more of in 2011.  It will be my foundation. I chose ‘Responsibility’.  I’ve realized that as much as I say I want to take on and create for myself in life, I still shy away from taking 100% ownership. (Yikes- not easy to admit to myself! )My journey this year has led me to understand how essential it is to be completely responsible for every thought, feeling, emotion, intention, action, calling, desire, etc that I have.  Be responsible for ME, for my actions and re-actions, and what I create. No one else!

It’s a little un-sexy of a word, I know – it feels kind of heavy from one vantage point at least – but it excites me! And that’s because I know that with this truth and focus, 2011 will be a year unlike any I’ve every experienced. I’m already feeling the ‘fire-walking’ energy of it, and yet I know my soul is on board. Writing this I’m reminded of a fabulous card that I recently found,  with a little girl and a dog sitting side by side in chairs, and it reads, “Life is tough. I recommend getting a manicure, and a really cute helmet.”

What’s your word for 2011?

The rituals I’ll be doing today were suggested by a friend who is so full of gorgeous Goddess-energy and very wise beyond her years. She handed them to me, and so I trusted that this is what I am meant to do today! Mostly because they felt right to me.

1) Write down all the things you are choosing to let go of as you head into 2011 (I know for me these live much more in the land of outworn thoughts & beliefs, behaviors, habits, patterns that no longer serve who I am becoming).

2) Burn that list.

3) Cast 2011 intentions into the ocean at sunset today (a special method she shared that’s too compex for this blog, but you can lay a rock on top of a list of intentions and then throw the rock into the ocean (or place it on an altar or special holding place). Sunset is a time of fertility (who knew?). A time to ‘birth’ these intentions.

No matter what you choose to do as far as goal-setting, my wish is for you to release. Release anything that you know in your heart isn’t serving the YOU that is bursting to be born. The YOU that yearns for more love, new love, less baggage, less drama, more peace, more success.  We always have to move through whatever blocks our path, yet it can be tricky to see and painful to admit. So be very, very gentle with yourself, yet brave.

When we want new love, yet we are not being the love we so long for, we must release something.  When we want new success, yet we are not embodying and acting from that new feeling and place of success, we must release something.  A full glass can’t hold new water. And often, even if ‘He’ isn’t in your life,  you have old beliefs, thoughts and feelings that would probably equal a loooonng line of men out the door.  How is he going to get to your doorstep? Or that new business, or body?

Go with your gut on what those are, write them out, and burn them.  Let 2011 be the year that you step into more of YOU, creating much more of what you want to experience.

I write this for myself as I write this for you.

Happy New Year !!!  I am so grateful to connect here with you.

To your love, success and abundance ~

Leslie

I want to share with you a GORGEOUS, soul-full, life-changing prayer that I just heard via Robert Holden’s radio show this morning.

Here it goes:

“DEAR UNIVERSE,

PLEASE SHOW ME THE TRUTH ABOUT MYSELF, NO MATTER HOW BEAUTIFUL.”

So simple, so powerful, so True.

We can be afraid of the Truth, and often we can resist and push away our good.  It’s part of being human, and yet the more we accept ourselves, the more we find others who more than accept us.  And the more we live into our brightest destiny.

This prayer speaks to that saying, ‘How good can you stand it?’.

Let’s all ‘stand it’ just a little bit more, shall we?  I’m in! ;-)  I’m going to take Robert’s advice, and say this prayer every day for the next 10 days.

I hope that you’ll join me!

Much love,

Leslie

It’s amazing how we can all feel alone – occasionally, or all the time. For those who experience this, you know it’s true: even when you have a relationship in your life, and maybe many friends, family, and more – at times you can still feel alone. Very alone. And that’s often more painful than the person who’s alone in a new city, or simply living a very quiet life with few people in it.

I can end up feeling alone when I’m really going against my grain and not honoring myself – for instance – when I use to surround myself with others that I didn’t have as much in common with, or that I had outgrown. Despite going through the motions, the actions and time spent felt pretty empty and meaningless.  If you’ve been here, you know it’s icky-feeling.  Or, when I’m not connecting with my husband in ways that I am yearning and needing to, whether it’s emotional, physical or spiritual. I feel the disconnect, and if I don’t address it, it just builds.

Jane Fonda was recently on the Oprah show – did you catch it?  Get a chance to if you can, it was incredibly inspiring. She’s 72 and she has such a young spirit – not to  looks amazing!  She’s taken significant steps to stay true to herself in her life, which is often simply staying the course of  continuing to acquaint yourself with yourself!  She said it’s a life long journey, and as I approach the end of my 30′s, I would agree. I feel like I’m just beginning.

Jane brought up feeling a lack of intimacy in her marriages – all 3.  Oprah needed to get clear – she wasn’t inferring that she wasn’t physical with them?  Jane spoke that even when you have physical intimacy, you can lack deeper intimacy, namely to be your full self with another.

Believe me, this is not as easy of a task as you might imagine. We can live our entire lives with others – partners, family, friends – yet not feel deeply seen or known.  Yes, this is a deep topic, but its a topic that I’m really passionate about, and something that I know many women yearn for. Intimacy. Connection. We think that if we have certain things, people, etc lined up in our lives – then we’ll be ‘happy’ (as we hear it referenced so much these days).  When we’re not, we wonder why.

I wonder, if we knew that we were not alone – that we are all connected (and on a deeper and more unseen level than by text, email and video!) – would we feel more free to reveal ourselves more, unafraid of rejection….and of being alone?  Would we show more of our deeper needs and desires to our beloved and create an opportunity for them to then be met?  Would we reveal more of our scary secrets to our friends, and feel more connected as a result?  Would we simply smile more at strangers, and open our hearts to others – meeting new people on the journey?

I often coax new clients to start small.  So in this case, if you are single and wanting relationship, or in one but desiring more connection, begin with yourself. How do you carry yourself and direct your thoughts?  Are you open and inclusive?  Or closed, negative and judgmental (if just inwardly)? Practice first with customer service on the phone, at the Apple store or Starbucks, or walking by a stranger.  Smile with eye contact, keep your voice kind, and your heart open.  Often with positive connections with strangers, we’re reminded that we’re really not alone. If we can connect with strangers, we can create positive relationships with the people in our lives – and bring new ones in – right?   And then we can take this truth and energy, and apply it to how we live our lives in rich, deeper  and more intimate and meaningful ways with others.

Dear Amazing Women,

If you’re on my newsletter list (you can receive it subscribing here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/articles.htm) , you read that a few weeks ago I attended Ali Brown’s SHINE event in Las Vegas.  This was a group of 500+ entrepreneurs – mostly women – all gathered in one ballroom for 3 full days of inspiration, teaching, and networking.  

With my recent ‘Find YOUR MR. Right Breakthrough Session’ promo, I’ve been meeting even more women ready for LOVE.  New love. Different love. They’re ready for a road they haven’t been down before.  As I’ve been consulting with these great women, I’ve been reminded of my biggest learning’s at SHINE.  Who knew?  Love & Entrepreneurship have a lot in common.

* ** Make Decisions based on where you want to be, not where you are (or where you’ve been). 

This is a biggie.  Entrepreneurs become afraid to invest more at times.  They’re looking at what’s worked so far.  Women seeking love are the same.  Many women are looking at their track record, their hurts, or their current status – and making decisions from that place, rather than based on their Vision.

*** If you are being your authentic self, you really can’t have competition.

Yeeessss.  This one is SO important ladies. I hear clients talk about comparison all the time, and as women, we all do this – I believe more than men.  If I sat and compared myself to other experts in my field, I would feel deflated and uninspired.  I may try to not be ME, but more like THEM, if I was feeling insecure or dis-believing.  As a woman, the more you own and harness your own personality, your own authentic beauty - and play up your strengths, the RIGHT man for you will be effortlessly drawn to you.  Comparison DOES kill. 

* ** People won’t invest in you beyond what you’ve invested in yourself.

As a coach, I continually invest in my own growth, tools and training.  I continually make financial investments in myself via coaches, teachers, trainings, seminars - not to mention the investment of time, and self-care.  I could never expect to receive an investment from a client for one of my coaching packages, products or seminars that I don’t make myself.  It’s an integrity thing.

How does this show up in LOVE?  Would you want to date you?  And are you in integrity in general with how you treat others?  Once a client came to me  being very tough on the guys out there, yet she was ultra-sensitive to any form of rejection that SHE received. It was amazing to watch her transform in our work together and soften into more acceptance of others & herself – and receive love.  Like attracts Like, so the more you invest in your own care, happiness and life – the more you will receive in the form of a wonderful partner.

Wishing you a fabulous Friday & weekend ahead.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Yes, I did mean futured.

What is futured, you ask?

You’ve been there.  You’re on a date with ‘Joe’, a first date.  Joe not only shows up on time, with flowers, and takes you to a lovely restaurant for dinner and a bottle of wine, but that’s just the beginning.  Even if you’re date-deprived and loving the gestures, you haven’t even begun to “Mr. Right?” him, believe it or not.  Until…

Joe futures you.“Have you been to Yosemite?…We rent a huge house there every Fall, we’ll have to go on one of the week-ends I’ll have it to myself – it’s s000 nice to jacuzzi after a long hike.  I can’t wait to take you there.”  You are now noticing, between bites of steak and sips of Zinfandel, that your mind wanders to imagine how he’ll fit in with your family, what travel you can do first, perhaps even if you’ll have the same taste on your registry.

I think many of us who do (or have done, in our lives) our fair share of dating have been here -  yes?

I recall a specific guy that I dated , and our first date.  WOW – did he future me.  Talks of trips, the fact that we both fantasized about living in Spain – it went on and on.  And – guess what?   I WAS HOOKED.  The following 6 weeks were like I was under some sort of spell.  Things went fast – and then crashed and burned. 

I write this as a friendly reminder.  Beware of being futured.  The smartest and savviest of women can – and do - fall prey. 

Tips to stay conscious and futured-aware:

-  Proof is in the Pudding – make this your rule:  Keep control of the pace that feels right to you, and by this I mean the pace of your mind, specifically.  For starters, dismiss any ideas of future vacations/children’s eye color until you are well on your way to having an exclusive relationship (AND/OR month 2)!

I’m all for romance and getting a little carried away (that’s part of the fun) – but never risk more than you are willing to lose.  

- Let him know:  There’s nothing wrong with a retort that let’s him know you won’t fall for being futured.  “You haven’t met my 5 cats yet – and I don’t let them meet just anyone. ”  Show that you have perspective, and delivered with a little humor keeps things light.

Great guys can fall prey to this: they get excited too, and may be unconscious of this tendancy. Yet,  some are preditors only after one thing.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Women,

I am enough.

I am enough.

I am enough.

I am enough.

Repeat after me, “I am enough”.

“I am enough”.

What comes up for you when you say this statement to yourself.  Out loud.  Silently.

I’m writing today from Miami Beach, FL where I’m attending a conference on Mind-Set and Inner Abundance.

My heart leapt a little when I was on a tele-call and the Leader announced that she’d be hosting this conference. 

I want to go, I said to myself.  My mind quickly dispelled the thought.  Why?  You do this work here.  Why invest in this – this is many, many professional private sessions and massages.  Ugh. I want – I resist. I ‘should’.

I went.  Thank you God.  Thank you Intuition. My resistance came in as “I know this stuff.”  “What can I learn at this?”  As much as I’ve worked on myself – 15 years of personal development in therapy, coaching, intuitive counseling, energy work, meditation, visualization – whew – I’m at another layer of the onion.

Launching my own business has me in a new arena.  Old wounds and beliefs are rearing their heads again.  Whenever we step into new territory in our lives,  we may find that we need to clear through some of the slow, sometimes track-stopping sludge.  Quicksand. 

We all looked at a list of commonly held beliefs.   We circled the ones that hit home as we thought of our businesses, of what are creating for ourselves.  Of what we are here to do: our purpose.

I looked at the “I am not enough”, and I RESISTED circling it, but I did.  We were to look at these circled beliefs, then, and dig deep to find where, specifically by age 7, we had had an experience that made this belief to be true to ourselves.

I won’t go into the background of mine right now, but I , along with the 100 women and men and the Facilitator, all raised our hands acknowledging this one to come up for us.    It’s one of those core false beliefs – “I am not enough” – that comes up for all of us as human beings.

Here’s the truth:  We are ENOUGH.  YOU ARE ENOUGH.

We are all in God/Spirit/Divine – and God/Spirit/Divine are in us.   We are  one.  We are perfect.  And we are here to live this truth.

Let’s get to living what we are to live.   Our heart’s desires.

With love and truth,

From my savvy heart, to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I truly continue to be in awe of the amazing process of growth….of how we can achieve what we set out to.  What I’m reflecting on is not just the achievements that manifest in our outer world – career transition, a loving partnership, material success, a new business venture….. what truly stills me to sacred silence and rushes blood through my veins is the fact that we are limitless creatures and we can move mountains in regard to our ‘inner’ realities.  These ‘inner’ realities are what enable us to achieve and manifest in the outer world.  How we feel about ourselves.  Who we want to BE.  Now.  And in the future.  Because this achievement comes from looking inside – acknowledging what needs to be changed – looking at who you want to be – and believing that it’s possible.

What we want to manifest in life begins with who we are.  What thoughts we hold.  What beliefs we are living by.  Where we set our sights to be.

I’m inspired to write this because I just ran across an intake form that my first and brilliant coach , Nikki Anderson: www.coachnikki.com, gave me as I began my life coaching work with her a little over 3 years ago.   I felt lost, down and dissatisfied.   Yes, much because my then- relationship hadn’t worked out, and the company I worked for was failing and I wanted out.  It felt overwhelming. 

But the truth, the core, of why I was so distraught was because I knew.  I knew that I wasn’t living to my potential.  I knew I was hiding out, and continuing to make the same choices – over and over. Same choices = same results.  The same unavailable guy, and the same unfulfilling job.  And the same energy-sucking, in-congruent smaller choices woven throughout how I was living. They didn’t fill me up. They kept me down.

I re-read my answer to ‘What role do you see your best self playing in the world? What do you want to model for others?:

My answer , “I want to model achieving my dreams, creative AND focused, nurturing AND strong, feminine AND true to myself, interdependent AND independent.”

I know that when I wrote this answer, it was coming from somewhere within me, and yet looking at my life at that time – I felt that I had no ‘proof’ that I was a woman exemplifying – or capable of – exemplifying these.  This is how many of the clients come to me feeling.  I see the gleam in their eyes when they complete a Future Self exercise and connect to what is true for them.

Then, the fear and disbelief sets in again.  And so the work begins.

I re-read that statement I made to myself and to my coach years ago, and I was in awe of the fact that I was indeed living up to what I had aspired to be.  At least attempting to! I’m by no means declaring perfection here,  nor “I’ve made it!”.   As my friend said to me many years ago, “Some of us are climbers, and others campers, in life.”  I know that I’m a climber.  When do I get to the top?  In this life, when my spirit leaves my body behind.

Every day I can feel the fear that hovers like a cloud, threatening rain.  The beautiful thing is that I’m getting more and more comfortable with the threat.  I don’t hold myself to walking only where the skies are always clear.  That would indicate to me that I wasn’t playing big enough – playing too safe.

So, savvy friends, I encourage you – I urge you – not to stamp out that voice that says, “This is what I want.”  “This is what I know I am meant to be, do, and have.”   This is the voice that knows the real truth.

Don’t talk yourself out of your desires.

With love,

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Friend,

Why is it we are afraid to speak our truth when we’re on a date, or in a relationship?  Some of you, if you’re anything like me, present or past, might also find yourselves sweeping thoughts, desires, and opinions under the rug – in order to be accepted.  As women, many of us have a tendency to swallow our voices because we want to be approved of, liked, loved.  Maybe we do this if only occasionally.  Maybe a lot. 

We’ve all done this, and do this.  Maybe it’s big, or it’s something small.

I have client that I’m currently working with – let’s call her Jill.  Jill wants to find a loving partnership – her desire is for it to grow into marriage, although she’s not so sure about if she wants children one day, or not.

Jill’s interested in “Bill”.  She’s getting to know him, and although there are some questions as to if it could be a work-able situation to date him and see where it goes (it’s long-distance today, age difference, etc), when I asked her to consider asking him some ‘revealing’ questions on their next date, such as ‘where do you see yourself in 5 years & 10 years?’, the thought of it scared her, more than a little.  I’m coaxing her a little on this as ‘Jill’ has three relationships-over, stifled her needs and desires for the guy.  Denying her needs and wants is the ‘known’ – hence, she’s hired me. 

So I ask: Why can’t we express ourselves as we go along?  Why do we pretend to not be feeling what we are feeling? Wanting what we are wanting.   In dating, revealing too much too soon can be ‘death’.  And, not revealing enough, and a little too late = also ‘death’.  Yikes….what a fine line.

And that’s all that I had written.  I must have petered out for whatever reason.

As I scanned all my ‘saved drafts’ this morning, I knew this title would trigger more from me.

I’ve been in a bit of funk with my guy, and husband, Larry , in recent days.   Not a huge funk.  We’re speaking, playing, etc.  ‘Normal’.

AND:  somethings not quite the same.  You see, I spoke my Truth recently to him, over something that’s a pretty serious topic, yet not a ‘Huge’ topic (and,unfortunately, I can’t expound any further ). He wasn’t thrilled with my Truth.  He respects it.  But it isn’t received with open arms, a huge smile, and a ‘Thanks, that’s great.’ 

And this is a reality:  sometimes, our Truth doesn’t make the other person very happy.  It can at times cause distance, a decision to be made, change.  

But what is the alternative?  I didn’t have an alternative, as I aspire to be as honest and as direct as possible in my relationship.  It for sure is not always easy. Far from.  

I really don’t like not feeling as close and intimate with my partner as is typical. It’s quite uncomfortable.  AND, it’s part of the experience.  It’s reality.   And that’s why I’m choosing to write about it.

As women, I think we must get really comfy cozy with speaking our Truth.  We must.  It doesn’t always feel sexy, and definitely not fun. 

And, it’s really the only option -isn’t it?

With love,

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com