Dear Savvy Woman,
Your emails and FB comments on these daily tips have been awesome, thank you. I love to receive your feedback or questions so please comment, email, or ping me via @LoveSavvyLeslie. This daily blogging of tips for ‘single’ and ‘in-relationship’ gals is helping me as I write my first e-book. Hot topics and burning questions on relationship success and attracting new love? Please share. And we all have them. I was reading In Style magazine the other day, the current issue with J Lo, and of course I appreciated how she admitted that she’s fascinated by relationships and is always picking up a book on them to try to figure them out (I’m sure Marc has helped her de-mystify them some… ;-)).
Tip #3 ~ Keep – or Create – a little Mystery
Just a little. I’m not suggesting games here. This is really about re-balancing and keeping the dance in your relationship going. When there’s absolutely no surprises, no space, time apart – its kind of like you’ve stopped dancing and you’re sitting on the side looking around at everyone else, bored and maybe frustrated. Every relationship ebbs and flows – and – what I know to be true and what I hear from clients is that things can also start to feel off-balance within ourselves and the relationship when we’ve become so accountable, so attached at the hip, sometimes too giving of ourselves (us?), overly focused on him or the relationship, etc. Maybe we notice that we’re feeling a little taken for granted, or our guy is now stating that he doesn’t know if he can give us what we want, like a longer-term view together. Sometimes the dance is meant to be ended, but even the best of relationships can benefit from a little ‘feminine mystique’ infusion.
A client I’m coaching was experiencing this a little with her guy recently and asked me for advice. She was tempted to pull away completely – as is often what we want to do – RUN! – when our feelings are a little hurt by what we’re not getting, especially when it’s a topic such as committment. What I reminded her is how attuned men are to to this feminine mystique, and they’re not even conscious of it – usually. In her case, it was simply to re-create some by weaving in a few nights sleeping back at her place (beauty sleep for early a.m. meetings) , not being as uber-responsive or initiative with texts and calls (don’t ditch them, but delay the need to always pick up or initiate), and re-prioritizing some very important ’me’ and friend time which may be on a back-burner.
From my savvy heart to yours ~
Leslie
www.BeLoveSavvy.com
