I’m excited to do a few New Year’s Rituals today – firsts for me. What I usually do is reflect the last few weeks of the year and get clear on some new intentions and goals for myself for the upcoming New Year.  Writing a letter to yourself as if you are at the end of that next year – and what you are grateful for – is a powerful way to seal in your vision.

In that process, I also chose one word (an idea that floated around on Facebook this month that I thought was so simple yet powerful) to capture what I want to embody more of in 2011.  It will be my foundation. I chose ‘Responsibility’.  I’ve realized that as much as I say I want to take on and create for myself in life, I still shy away from taking 100% ownership. (Yikes- not easy to admit to myself! )My journey this year has led me to understand how essential it is to be completely responsible for every thought, feeling, emotion, intention, action, calling, desire, etc that I have.  Be responsible for ME, for my actions and re-actions, and what I create. No one else!

It’s a little un-sexy of a word, I know – it feels kind of heavy from one vantage point at least – but it excites me! And that’s because I know that with this truth and focus, 2011 will be a year unlike any I’ve every experienced. I’m already feeling the ‘fire-walking’ energy of it, and yet I know my soul is on board. Writing this I’m reminded of a fabulous card that I recently found,  with a little girl and a dog sitting side by side in chairs, and it reads, “Life is tough. I recommend getting a manicure, and a really cute helmet.”

What’s your word for 2011?

The rituals I’ll be doing today were suggested by a friend who is so full of gorgeous Goddess-energy and very wise beyond her years. She handed them to me, and so I trusted that this is what I am meant to do today! Mostly because they felt right to me.

1) Write down all the things you are choosing to let go of as you head into 2011 (I know for me these live much more in the land of outworn thoughts & beliefs, behaviors, habits, patterns that no longer serve who I am becoming).

2) Burn that list.

3) Cast 2011 intentions into the ocean at sunset today (a special method she shared that’s too compex for this blog, but you can lay a rock on top of a list of intentions and then throw the rock into the ocean (or place it on an altar or special holding place). Sunset is a time of fertility (who knew?). A time to ‘birth’ these intentions.

No matter what you choose to do as far as goal-setting, my wish is for you to release. Release anything that you know in your heart isn’t serving the YOU that is bursting to be born. The YOU that yearns for more love, new love, less baggage, less drama, more peace, more success.  We always have to move through whatever blocks our path, yet it can be tricky to see and painful to admit. So be very, very gentle with yourself, yet brave.

When we want new love, yet we are not being the love we so long for, we must release something.  When we want new success, yet we are not embodying and acting from that new feeling and place of success, we must release something.  A full glass can’t hold new water. And often, even if ‘He’ isn’t in your life,  you have old beliefs, thoughts and feelings that would probably equal a loooonng line of men out the door.  How is he going to get to your doorstep? Or that new business, or body?

Go with your gut on what those are, write them out, and burn them.  Let 2011 be the year that you step into more of YOU, creating much more of what you want to experience.

I write this for myself as I write this for you.

Happy New Year !!!  I am so grateful to connect here with you.

To your love, success and abundance ~

Leslie

I want to share with you a GORGEOUS, soul-full, life-changing prayer that I just heard via Robert Holden’s radio show this morning.

Here it goes:

“DEAR UNIVERSE,

PLEASE SHOW ME THE TRUTH ABOUT MYSELF, NO MATTER HOW BEAUTIFUL.”

So simple, so powerful, so True.

We can be afraid of the Truth, and often we can resist and push away our good.  It’s part of being human, and yet the more we accept ourselves, the more we find others who more than accept us.  And the more we live into our brightest destiny.

This prayer speaks to that saying, ‘How good can you stand it?’.

Let’s all ‘stand it’ just a little bit more, shall we?  I’m in! ;-)  I’m going to take Robert’s advice, and say this prayer every day for the next 10 days.

I hope that you’ll join me!

Much love,

Leslie

This morning I was conflicted. My life works so much better when I dedicate anywhere from a few minutes to 30 or one hour if I get up early enough (very luxurious) in the morning, to inspiring reading, affirmation, prayer and meditation.  It’s become a ritual that I need. And often,  when I have just a minute, I take that minute to read something inspiring and peaceful, and simply anchor myself for a moment in positive truth before jumping to a higher gear.  Even a minute gives me something, and it sets a positive intention for my day.

BUT, I’m a morning person with exercise – and often if I don’t lay out my workout clothes the night before, and have my coffee ready first thing, I easily slink into my ‘morning ritual’  (if I workout first thing, I make sure to take a few minutes for my morning ritual, even if it’s not until lunchtime)  before heading out the door to exercise. And then it’s *really* tough to motivate 30 minutes later.

This morning was one of those mornings where I wasn’t prepped to workout first thing, but I knew I really needed to move my body. So, I made my coffee, grabbed my book and journal, and headed for my favorite chair in the living room, bargaining for 20 minutes of this time before heading out the door. It looked cold and gloomy outside, after all.  Well, 20 minutes turned into an hour after toggling between reading, checking my email (not usually allowed, but it slipped in) and assessing if I needed to head to the gym instead of walking outdoors.  Now a big part of me was ready to delay exercise until tomorrow. Finally I peeled myself off the chair and pushed myself outside to walk – my spirit knew it needed nature after a very indoor, rainy weekend.  I felt stiff from sitting so long, and really not very motivated to move.  Thank g*d for Ipods.  After contemplating a short walk, once I got into the groove I found myself back home after a great hour walk.  This really felt like a miracle this morning. We know we just need to take that first step, but sometimes it’s just so easy to make an excuse and not take it sometimes.

I know that if I had decided to chuck my exercise for the day, I wouldn’t have had such a spring in my step as I headed into  my work day.  And I may have taken a friend’s lunch cancellation a bit more personally.  I wouldn’t have felt as confident that I could accomplish what I had on my to-do list.  And , I probably wouldn’t have thought to put Pandora on in my bathroom, dancing to Jay -Z in the shower.  Dancing in the shower is not something I’ve found myself doing much of lately, especially on a dark winter’s morning – and on a Monday, no less! That to me is really the easiest way to compare the results of moving my body, versus choosing not to.

It’s almost like taking a ‘Sliding Doors’ (the movie) approach to something, in this case, exercise.  Day in the Life A, you move your body. Day in the Life B, you don’t. And then wonder and watch what results within you – how you feel, what your energy is, how you respond to things, what you do and what you don’t do.

Moving our bodies is not only good for us in all the ways we are often told and know, but it moves our spirit.  And moving our spirit leads to all sorts of good things too.  ;-)

With love,

Leslie

I’ll admit it – I place a huge value in feeling beautiful. Feeling beautiful, *to me*,  is a strong fuel for my life. Yet,  it’s not exactly how it sounds, or how you immediately imagine this to be (read on). Although I don’t constantly put these into play in my life, when I do give them some priority, life feels rich and everything in it seems to improve. It’s one important way of filling your cup – letting the overflow to the saucer be the energy and bandwidth available to give to others in healthy ways.

My personal connection to beauty might not fit yours. And it shouldn’t. Mine is unique to me,  just as yours is unique to you.  (And after reading this post, I encourage you to list out 10 or 20 ways you can feel connected to your beauty, to help you clarify yours).

Feeling beautiful takes all kinds of  forms. It’s not formulaic, and yet I’m sure some of the ways that I’ve (we’ve) come to feel beautiful plug into society’s demand and definition for women to be beautiful – our cultural archetype of beauty. I notice though, that the wiser I become, the more I realize that buying into other’s approval just dilutes my own joy…and sense of feeling beautiful.  It’s a process of culling and refining my own value of beauty, my own requirements, and leaving those that don’t bring me the connection that I know I need to feel, and benefit so much from feeling.

When you step into your own ways of feeling beautiful, whatever they are, it not only connects you and empowers you, but others can feel it. It’s an elixir in attraction, although this is not about doing anything for anyone else’s benefit. It just so happens that the byproduct is increasing your magnetism and attraction.  Nice, huh? ;-)

I began this post this morning, and then had to leave it for other work.  Later today I happened to be listening to a spiritual-based radio show where beauty was defined (don’t you love synchronicity?)  as,’The revelation of one’s grace.’  Which means the revelation of what’s inside. Your essence. Honoring who you are, without apology. I loved this – it is what I have struggled languaging -  and realized that hearing this was a sign for me to complete this post!

The more I invest in valuing the things that connect me to my own sense of beauty, the more whole and complete I feel, and in turn, the better person I am to others.  In our busy lives, it’s easy to ignore our own needs – especially on this topic –  and simply plug into what other’s value.  Over time, we can become as empty as some of the ‘stuff’ or ‘trends’ that we often see dictating ‘beauty’ and how to feel beautiful.

To give yourself a beauty boost – especially if you’re feeling lonely and desiring a love in your life, list out some ways that you connect to your own beauty. Then, decide that you will do one of them each day for one week.  See how you feel at the end of the week – I guarantee that you will have experienced a big shift.

Here are some ways that I connect to feeling beautiful within myself to help you along with your own list:

Lying or walking on a beach, feeling the sand beneath my feet, listening to the ocean

Having a meal of kale & seaweed salad from the Whole Foods salad bar (yum)

Moving my body to music on the elliptical at the gym, or dancing around my apartment, and working up a sweat

Communicating what’s absolutely true for me, without censoring to take care of the other person

A professional blow-out

Doing good & meaningful work: inspiring others – improving life experiences – whether in my work or volunteering

A great outfit when I am needing a great outfit

Earning an income that supports, nourishes and empowers me

Wearing jewelry & color that speaks to me & inspires me

Playing good music in my office, appartment, car , Ipod

A hot bath, bubbles – or – a baking soda & espsom salt clearing bath

Sending unexpected thoughtful notes, texts and cards to people that I love and appreciate

Petting animals, playing with kids.

To your beauty,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

It’s amazing how we can all feel alone – occasionally, or all the time. For those who experience this, you know it’s true: even when you have a relationship in your life, and maybe many friends, family, and more – at times you can still feel alone. Very alone. And that’s often more painful than the person who’s alone in a new city, or simply living a very quiet life with few people in it.

I can end up feeling alone when I’m really going against my grain and not honoring myself – for instance – when I use to surround myself with others that I didn’t have as much in common with, or that I had outgrown. Despite going through the motions, the actions and time spent felt pretty empty and meaningless.  If you’ve been here, you know it’s icky-feeling.  Or, when I’m not connecting with my husband in ways that I am yearning and needing to, whether it’s emotional, physical or spiritual. I feel the disconnect, and if I don’t address it, it just builds.

Jane Fonda was recently on the Oprah show – did you catch it?  Get a chance to if you can, it was incredibly inspiring. She’s 72 and she has such a young spirit – not to  looks amazing!  She’s taken significant steps to stay true to herself in her life, which is often simply staying the course of  continuing to acquaint yourself with yourself!  She said it’s a life long journey, and as I approach the end of my 30′s, I would agree. I feel like I’m just beginning.

Jane brought up feeling a lack of intimacy in her marriages – all 3.  Oprah needed to get clear – she wasn’t inferring that she wasn’t physical with them?  Jane spoke that even when you have physical intimacy, you can lack deeper intimacy, namely to be your full self with another.

Believe me, this is not as easy of a task as you might imagine. We can live our entire lives with others – partners, family, friends – yet not feel deeply seen or known.  Yes, this is a deep topic, but its a topic that I’m really passionate about, and something that I know many women yearn for. Intimacy. Connection. We think that if we have certain things, people, etc lined up in our lives – then we’ll be ‘happy’ (as we hear it referenced so much these days).  When we’re not, we wonder why.

I wonder, if we knew that we were not alone – that we are all connected (and on a deeper and more unseen level than by text, email and video!) – would we feel more free to reveal ourselves more, unafraid of rejection….and of being alone?  Would we show more of our deeper needs and desires to our beloved and create an opportunity for them to then be met?  Would we reveal more of our scary secrets to our friends, and feel more connected as a result?  Would we simply smile more at strangers, and open our hearts to others – meeting new people on the journey?

I often coax new clients to start small.  So in this case, if you are single and wanting relationship, or in one but desiring more connection, begin with yourself. How do you carry yourself and direct your thoughts?  Are you open and inclusive?  Or closed, negative and judgmental (if just inwardly)? Practice first with customer service on the phone, at the Apple store or Starbucks, or walking by a stranger.  Smile with eye contact, keep your voice kind, and your heart open.  Often with positive connections with strangers, we’re reminded that we’re really not alone. If we can connect with strangers, we can create positive relationships with the people in our lives – and bring new ones in – right?   And then we can take this truth and energy, and apply it to how we live our lives in rich, deeper  and more intimate and meaningful ways with others.

Oh how I’ve missed sharing my thoughts on this blog!  For those of you who subscribe and read, please know that I’ve felt a huge wide gap in my life in not connecting with you…it’s so nice to be back. ;-)

Where have I been? Well, I intentionally took about six months off from writing this blog and writing articles for my business.  It kind of happened organically, but there was also a deeper intention set beforehand by me as well. Intentions are what create our lives, and relationships, and so it was interesting to witness how this one played out for me, because sometimes I move so fast I can forget that I’m aware of an intention being set.  I do believe that we all hold our own answers – we just need to quiet down, listen, trust, and then simply (ha!) act on them. And get help when we need it with that process.  

So a trusted mentor suggested taking some time away from the writing and marketing, and not doing these things ‘publically’.  I  had started to feel like I was on a train that I wasn’t sure I wanted to be on, and maybe the destination wasn’t exactly for me anymore.  I felt the need to do something different.  And then there was also my relationship – my marriage – and some bumps in the road that were beginning to feel painful. We were needing some transformation.

It felt right in my heart to take the suggestion, even though I didn’t want to. And ‘logical’ thinking would argue the choice. But I pulled away from my established blogging & marketing routine, and channelled that energy into personal writing, healing, and new studies.

Cocoons are often necessary for growth.  This time for me was really that of ‘cocoon-ing up’ in some ways. Life still carried on and I still worked with clients, but the departure from the approach I had been taking and some time channeling that energy in new directions was incredibly transformative for me.  I feel like a new woman in some ways, and it’s really exciting and humbling, because it’s largely been a process of letting go.  I still have my training wings on – and do they ever actually come off?

I wanted to share my process with you  (and will be sharing more) because it’s so important, especially right now, at this time on our planet. Things are in a massive shift right now on just about every level. We are being demanded to change.  I know first hand how much resistance comes up when we desire new results – or desperately need them – but resist taking new actions, a new approach.  We don’t listen to that inner voice. We’re afraid of losing the validation and security that we’ve come to know by the roles that we play, with our life as we’ve come to know it.   Most of us are so conditioned by our society to ‘do’ and to ‘attain’ , that especially, if we have the yearning to change, or take some *intentional* time doing something different – or maybe nothing (intentionally ;-0) – we freak out, and resort to just crossing our fingers that things will work out eventually (or stay in victim-mode and play the blame game!)

Change can be so painful, and that’s why we resist it.   And, we’ve been raised to want and demand the ‘proof’ – the answers – the security, before we take any risk to change.  It takes risk and new actions to become who we are meant to be, and experience what we so desire in our hearts to experience.  I obviously need to remind myself  of this by reminding you.

Here’s some inner & outer work for you – take out your journal and write down your thoughts to:

What are you deeply desiring to change about the way you relate to life, and the people and things in it?  Get curious about the way you *relate* to being single, your partner, your work, your body.

Do you stay too busy and ignore your much-needed self-care?  Do you keep relationships in your life that don’t mirror and honor the love, beauty and brilliance in you?  Are you even able to *feel* and own those qualities in yourself?  (If you don’t, how can you expect someone else to?)

Now for an easy outer first step. Get to a quiet and grounded place within yourself, and then ask yourself what’s calling you – what would feel nurturing and healing for you to do – or not do?   Then, take action. Eliminate an energy drain – a person, dreaded event, messy room.  Next, schedule a nourishing activity: walk, bath, yoga class, massage. The magic is in the follow-through!

Much love,

Leslie

Dear Savvy Woman,

Years ago, I walked into my office one morning to find a Craig’s List posting sitting on my desk.  A reality show called “How to Get the Guy” was going to be filmed in San Francisco, where I live, and they were looking for women to cast.

Mark, the colleague that was behind this, was so happy in his partnership with ‘Bill’ for over 20 years.  He really wanted to see me get hitched and have babies, always stopping by and asking me about my relationship status (bless his heart), and racking his brain on who he could possibly to set me up with.

So I listen politely to his prodding, and then sit alone and stare at the sheet of paper.  I begin to alternate between shock and awe.  Shock says: ‘Nah…how could you EVEN? Reality TV – yikes! And you’re WAY too afraid of the spotlight and of exposing yourself – you despise sending those company-wide brag emails that they make you do (which was painfully true – funny, huh?)!’  Awe says, or rather sings, ‘Oooh…Fun and daring! New! Exciting! Out-there! Yes….’ 

A Cheshire- like- smile broadens across my beating heart, and thankfully, the Awe voice wins out.  I make a simple submission to the ad right then and there, answering why I’d be great for their show:

“I have a life filled with great people but I haven’t found the right man yet, and I am ready!

I’m 34, working in marketing and sales. I would be great for the show because I always bring enthusiasm to what I’m doing, and I’m a genuine, likeable and determined person.

I’d love to meet with you –

Leslie”

What resulted was a series of in-person meetings with the show’s producers.  And each meeting left my heart beating! And I’d be lying to you (and myself ) if I said it was soley because I was showing the Universe that I was serious about creating love in my life, and courageous enough to try something so out of my comfort zone, although this was largely, and ultimately, true.

But let’s keep it real.  There was also a little (or a lot) of seduction going on in each meeting: this Hollywood-like production of interviews with cameras, my own personal assistant for the day as I complete psych screenings and blood tests, and so on…let’s just say, it was easy to sit back and nap once I stepped on this train!

Well, I woke up and knew my exit when ,once in the final round, I learn that the crux of the show was not what I thought it was (following my life and how I met men & dated) – but rather –  manipulating how I would meet men & date them (the show of course maintaining total control).  Surprise! (not) So reality finally sets in with me, and I decline. 

Flash-forward a year, and I watch a few episodes with Larry, who I was then dating (and living with).  I reflect, knowing that having taken that little adventure with myself and the show, I had grown and changed (and was glad that I had followed my heart to both pursue, and decline). This process,  along with specific  steps that I took and teach women in my 7-step system, had contributed to me connecting with Larry (my husband), and perhaps most importantly, helped shape who I was evolving into: a woman who was excited about…herself!

I’m sharing this story with you (thanks for staying with me if you still are) because I want to communicate what I help clients to come to know and experience for themselves (and what I continue to learn in my own evolution):

• We transform our experiences and results in life by taking new actions – and the steps that frighten you, and make those that believe they know you well say, ‘Really? You what…?’ – they will be the jewels in your crown.
• When you have someone holding the space for your potential – for you to continue to step out and step up – you will.  If you don’t, you probably won’t. Most people don’t, and it costs them their happiness, health and success, because most people you meet are complaining about life. Mark my colleague was the catalyst in this story, but what I didn’t share earlier was that I had signed on with my first coach the month befor. I felt different as a result. I felt daring. I felt a gaze on my potential, and that activated new initiative within me.

And every time I get that Cheshire -like-smile across my heart I know that I’m on to something!

To your love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

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Dear Savvy Woman,

On the road to attracting your beloved – boyfriend, partner, or husband – there’s a process of shedding.  Sometimes it’s an organic process of conscious elimination of what we already know to be true based on past experience.  For example, in my twenties I seemed to find myself in relationships with men that I somehow ended up needing to fix or control.  They seemed to be a few steps ‘behind’ me in life, in a literal sense.  As I entered my late twenties and early thirties, I was very conscious of desiring a relationship where I felt more challenged and ‘called forth’ to be a bigger and better person by my partner.  

Sometimes we are not aware of what needs to be shed from our life in order to attract in what we desire, in this case, YOUR Mr. Right.  This is one reason why working with a mentor or coach pays incredible dividends.  Many clients have these incredible ‘Ah-ha!’s with me when we dive in, because we look at other areas of their life where there are less-than  desired results, or struggle, and we identify common denominators that require attention – and  change. They’re often very surprised that things are as connected as they are.  Shedding is being called – and it’s often not directly related with what is perceived to be related to love, dating, and relating.   As soon as something is eliminated – a behavior, a belief, a person, an attachment – room opens up for NEW – aliveness, good energy, growth – relationship.

As you desire YOUR Mr. Right, become more and more curious about what may need to shed within you, or within your life.  The most important step in this process is to take action despite whatever fears or doubts come up.  The Universe responds to action, and OFTEN it’s the actions that are not easily SEEN, but will be FELT and known by YOU (eliminating a limiting belief, a change in how you feel internally, etc.) that are the wham, shazam!..actions that change your life.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Amazing Women,

If you’re on my newsletter list (you can receive it subscribing here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/articles.htm) , you read that a few weeks ago I attended Ali Brown’s SHINE event in Las Vegas.  This was a group of 500+ entrepreneurs – mostly women – all gathered in one ballroom for 3 full days of inspiration, teaching, and networking.  

With my recent ‘Find YOUR MR. Right Breakthrough Session’ promo, I’ve been meeting even more women ready for LOVE.  New love. Different love. They’re ready for a road they haven’t been down before.  As I’ve been consulting with these great women, I’ve been reminded of my biggest learning’s at SHINE.  Who knew?  Love & Entrepreneurship have a lot in common.

* ** Make Decisions based on where you want to be, not where you are (or where you’ve been). 

This is a biggie.  Entrepreneurs become afraid to invest more at times.  They’re looking at what’s worked so far.  Women seeking love are the same.  Many women are looking at their track record, their hurts, or their current status – and making decisions from that place, rather than based on their Vision.

*** If you are being your authentic self, you really can’t have competition.

Yeeessss.  This one is SO important ladies. I hear clients talk about comparison all the time, and as women, we all do this – I believe more than men.  If I sat and compared myself to other experts in my field, I would feel deflated and uninspired.  I may try to not be ME, but more like THEM, if I was feeling insecure or dis-believing.  As a woman, the more you own and harness your own personality, your own authentic beauty - and play up your strengths, the RIGHT man for you will be effortlessly drawn to you.  Comparison DOES kill. 

* ** People won’t invest in you beyond what you’ve invested in yourself.

As a coach, I continually invest in my own growth, tools and training.  I continually make financial investments in myself via coaches, teachers, trainings, seminars - not to mention the investment of time, and self-care.  I could never expect to receive an investment from a client for one of my coaching packages, products or seminars that I don’t make myself.  It’s an integrity thing.

How does this show up in LOVE?  Would you want to date you?  And are you in integrity in general with how you treat others?  Once a client came to me  being very tough on the guys out there, yet she was ultra-sensitive to any form of rejection that SHE received. It was amazing to watch her transform in our work together and soften into more acceptance of others & herself – and receive love.  Like attracts Like, so the more you invest in your own care, happiness and life – the more you will receive in the form of a wonderful partner.

Wishing you a fabulous Friday & weekend ahead.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Now, to be mischievous in dating and relating…

Again, a reminder that what we’re doing here is tricking ourself into ACTING outside the box. That’s where the amazing results lie.  It strips you from your boxed-in ways and allows your Higher Self to express and attract.

Being intentionally mischievious with yourself simply has you suprised at YOU.  It can take the form of wearing a dress to an event that you wouldn’t normally, maybe even running errands -or changing your make up (go get it done at a counter & buy the lipstick).    It can also be handing your card to someone you’re chatting with (if you never have), or better yet – asking him out!   Personally, I felt so liberated (and a little ‘out of control’ aka my ‘comfy zone’ - the clue that you’re on to something) when I asked Larry, my husband, out for the following night after meeting & talking with him.   I had never asked a guy out!  It worked. 

In dating and relating, this can also be standing in your Truth when you normally don’t.  For instance, your boyfriend typically waits until the last minute to make plans, or assumes you’ll be hanging out all weekend watching games and doing what he wants. It’s been chipping away at your satisfaction in the relationship, and really bothering you. 

Do what would have you feeling mischievous.  I’m a big fan of speaking the truth with successful delivery (read: no nagging, pouting or any other victim-like approach, but calmly and assuredly).  Many women struggle with this, so chances are if you just nip it in the bud and communicate your need directly you’ll be feeling very mischievous!  What else will have you feeling like you’re game is back on, and on fire?  Take a look at other areas where you might be feeling bored or held back: clear physical clutter, style your hair differently, do that 3 day cleanse you’ve had on your list.

Keep surprising yourself- mischieviously.

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie