Dear Savvy Woman,

Years ago, I walked into my office one morning to find a Craig’s List posting sitting on my desk.  A reality show called “How to Get the Guy” was going to be filmed in San Francisco, where I live, and they were looking for women to cast.

Mark, the colleague that was behind this, was so happy in his partnership with ‘Bill’ for over 20 years.  He really wanted to see me get hitched and have babies, always stopping by and asking me about my relationship status (bless his heart), and racking his brain on who he could possibly to set me up with.

So I listen politely to his prodding, and then sit alone and stare at the sheet of paper.  I begin to alternate between shock and awe.  Shock says: ‘Nah…how could you EVEN? Reality TV – yikes! And you’re WAY too afraid of the spotlight and of exposing yourself – you despise sending those company-wide brag emails that they make you do (which was painfully true – funny, huh?)!’  Awe says, or rather sings, ‘Oooh…Fun and daring! New! Exciting! Out-there! Yes….’ 

A Cheshire- like- smile broadens across my beating heart, and thankfully, the Awe voice wins out.  I make a simple submission to the ad right then and there, answering why I’d be great for their show:

“I have a life filled with great people but I haven’t found the right man yet, and I am ready!

I’m 34, working in marketing and sales. I would be great for the show because I always bring enthusiasm to what I’m doing, and I’m a genuine, likeable and determined person.

I’d love to meet with you -

Leslie”

What resulted was a series of in-person meetings with the show’s producers.  And each meeting left my heart beating! And I’d be lying to you (and myself ) if I said it was soley because I was showing the Universe that I was serious about creating love in my life, and courageous enough to try something so out of my comfort zone, although this was largely, and ultimately, true.

But let’s keep it real.  There was also a little (or a lot) of seduction going on in each meeting: this Hollywood-like production of interviews with cameras, my own personal assistant for the day as I complete psych screenings and blood tests, and so on…let’s just say, it was easy to sit back and nap once I stepped on this train!

Well, I woke up and knew my exit when ,once in the final round, I learn that the crux of the show was not what I thought it was (following my life and how I met men & dated) - but rather -  manipulating how I would meet men & date them (the show of course maintaining total control).  Surprise! (not) So reality finally sets in with me, and I decline. 

Flash-forward a year, and I watch a few episodes with Larry, who I was then dating (and living with).  I reflect, knowing that having taken that little adventure with myself and the show, I had grown and changed (and was glad that I had followed my heart to both pursue, and decline). This process,  along with specific  steps that I took and teach women in my 7-step system, had contributed to me connecting with Larry (my husband), and perhaps most importantly, helped shape who I was evolving into: a woman who was excited about…herself!

I’m sharing this story with you (thanks for staying with me if you still are) because I want to communicate what I help clients to come to know and experience for themselves (and what I continue to learn in my own evolution):

• We transform our experiences and results in life by taking new actions – and the steps that frighten you, and make those that believe they know you well say, ‘Really? You what…?’ – they will be the jewels in your crown.
• When you have someone holding the space for your potential – for you to continue to step out and step up - you will.  If you don’t, you probably won’t. Most people don’t, and it costs them their happiness, health and success, because most people you meet are complaining about life. Mark my colleague was the catalyst in this story, but what I didn’t share earlier was that I had signed on with my first coach the month befor. I felt different as a result. I felt daring. I felt a gaze on my potential, and that activated new initiative within me.

And every time I get that Cheshire -like-smile across my heart I know that I’m on to something!

To your love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

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Dear Savvy Woman,

Let’s be grateful for what is and what matters most to us,  as we enter the holidays and soon say hello to 2010.

I’ll go first by sharing that I am so grateful for:

YOU, for the opportunity to connect with you in this way.

My health and Being: body, mind, spirit, and soul.  

My clients, and all the women who trust - and have trusted - me in guiding them to find their true love.  

All the brilliance, beauty and opportunity that exist on the planet in my lifetime.

My friends and family for their love and support,  and for being who they are in my life (or were), and teaching me what I most need to learn, sometimes to my great dis-comfort! 

The expansiveness and shiny-new experiences that emerge on the other side of the above dis-comfort!

And I’m grateful  - more with each passing day - to my husband Larry for being more than I could have ever imagined as a friend and husband - and teacher.  Last Thanksgiving we did not spend  together (that’s for another blog post or maybe even a book!).  I’m learning so much about myself and about life being in this relationship.  It’s both life-giving and humbling.

All the people that have paved the road for me and you, including my beloved mom who passed away 15 years ago.  I love you Mom, and miss you. 

And as I end this blog, I look inside the book cover of a book I read in the mid-9o’s after my mother passed, that her sister, my Aunt Margo, sent to me “Simple Abundance”, by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  This is syncronistic.  I read on this inside cover what I  know I am to share with you, a prayer that I learned from an Oprah show back then that John Gray shared with the audience, and that helped me to connect to my higher self, to the Universe and to more abundance.

“Oh glorious future, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.

Oh glorious G*d, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.”

Happy Thanksgiving from me to you ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

There comes a time in our lives when we discover that we need to change our approach - we need a transformation.  If we are waking up more to ourselves, our lives, and our desires - this time comes - sooner or later.  Whether it’s how we earn a living, how we approach love, how we navigate our friends & family, or how we change our health & bodies. 

The focus of BeLoveSavvy.com is helping women attract the relationships – and lives – that they deeply desire.  Now more than ever before we are being guided to more meaning in our lives, and for many of us, relationships are what matter most. Clearing away the clutter is a significant part of the process that I lead women through, and I don’t just mean the visible kind.

On the surface (and where most people place ALL of their focus) , the clutter-clearing is about getting real with themselves about their outer actions – are they still sleeping with someone out of loneliness or false-hope that one day they’ll get on track together?  Are they sabotaging opportunity for what they really want in their lives as they go about their day to day and respond in fear rather than in self-love?  Fear has us in a mind-set and action that takes us away from what we truly desire, and often we have no idea because our ‘outer actions’ have us ‘doing all the right things!’.  So why he is…why aren’t they…why is it so hard….why me… believe me, I’ve been here myself many, many times and am still here at times with areas of my life.

Opposite of the surface things, I have clients get really clear about one thing that is below the surface: the decision & commitment to Feel Good.  Sound easy?  It’s not always so easy, which is why anyone who is wanting a transformation in some area of their life must do two things for success: 1) Do things differently 2) Remain accountable to doing things differently (including the WHAT & the WHY), often by having a mentor or coach (rather than a relative,  friend or colleague).

So what’s so magical about this ‘Feel Good’ thing?  Does this ______ have me feeling good is a defining question for many important things on the path to attracting love & fulfilling relationships.   Does this thought (‘There are virtually no available men in the city that I’m interested in’) have me feeling good about being single as I desire relationship – Yes or No?  Does this action (doing something that we didn’t want to do but are doing it out of obligation) have me feeling good?  Does this focus of conversation have me feeling good? Does this reaction I’m having to X have ME feeling good – truly feeling good?

Problem is, many of us, especially women, don’t get taught to make our first priority to Feel Good – and I mean deeply, authentically, lovingly-to-us Feel Good.  We become conditioned to taking care of others needs or living into others beliefs of what we should do or who we should become.  As a result, we get more and more distanced to our Feel Goods, which buoy & build us up.  On autopilot & reactionary, our belief and momentum is chipped away, despite all the ‘outer actions’ of ‘doing all the right things’ as we approach love & relating.  Or, some might say, no, my problem is I’m too selfish to consider anyone else’s needs or wants, which is why I’m alone.  I would challenge this statement by asking them if being selfish has them feeling good.  Really deeply, authentically, loving-to-her feeling good?  Look underneath, and determine if selfish = fear, or selfish = focus for myself.  When we are focused for ourselves, in positive and inclusive  ways, it’s super ATTRACTIVE.  And acknowledging that being selfish out of fear isn’t a powerful way to attract what you want (our ego fools us to think it is…it’s a way to get what we ultimately want, when in fact it repels and keeps us separate).  Being incredibly clear, decisive & committed to Feeling Good is what we are each here on this planet to do. It clears the clutter.  And the bonus is, it only can lead us to those pots of gold that we are deeply in search of!

To your ravishingly authentic, beauty &  soul-filled FEEL GOOD’s ~

Love,

Leslie

http://www.belovesavvy.com/

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Dear Savvy Woman,

If you’re inspired and affirmed by Astrology and Intuitive & Soulful resources such as Archetypes, you must ’meet’ Robert Ohotto if you don’t already know him.   A friend mentioned him to me years ago, he has a weekly radio show on HayHouseRadio.com, and he gives amazing personal readings.

Here is some sage Truth from Robert below that’s very applicable to what I work with women to achieve: a strong and loving relationship with themselves (that gets reflected back to them via their relationships and overall quality of life).

“None of us are defined by the mistakes of our past unless we believe we are. What defines us is what we’ve learned from them. Don’t let shame keep you hostage to what you’ve done. Love yourself — give up your old story lines and breathe in the present moment freedom of claiming your highest potential. You are worthy of being renewed.”

-Robert Ohotto

Here is to loving ourselves and being RENEWED~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Here’s a topic that I coach clients on if it comes up for them- especially that first date when the temptation - and often the tendancy - is high to whip out the checklists and keep yourself on lock-down, potentially shutting down an opportunity for connection.

Tip #2 - Slipping into your Feminine on a Date

In today’s world many women are high-tailing it to coffe dates via Match.com directly from the office.  What happens when we women are still in our ‘doing’ energy (masculine) when we get around men is we can tend to either take over or severely compete with the man of the moment (our date, or in my case, my husband).  Sometimes a dating situation calls for that, and a healthy relationship should be able to ‘hold’ that.  But what I’m refering to here is a pattern that can get in the way of the masculine-feminine ‘dance’.   Here are a few quick ways to transition into more ‘being’ energy, inviting your softer - and receptive - side to come out and shine:

1)  Be sure to change your top, shoes, jewelry - something - when you leave the office to meet someone for a date.  This is not only a great way to ‘adorn’ yourself and feel a bit more feminine, but it’s a structure and way to signal to yourself that you’re work is done, and you can relax now.   (And I know dates can feel like work, but that’s a mind-set to shift as well…for another post).

2) If you’re at home before going out to meet someone , be sure to : light candles, play some music, spray perfume or essential oils.  These all invoke the feminine - and create beauty and an atmosphere that connects you to beauty - and allow you to step out of your head, and into more presence for your date.

3) This is a fun little ‘trick’.  You’ve arrived to a date and your mind is still racing with work or other things.  First, try to do some deep breathing (3 deep breathes from your abdomen can do the trick) or listen to a relaxing song on the way or before you arrive.  And, to slip into feminine-mode, imagine that the date across from you is undressing you with his eyes (even if you don’t desire this to be the case!).  We feel so feminine when we’re undressed…seduced…, so this little exercise can really work to help you sink into that same kind of inviting, feminine energy.  Again, it helps you get out of your head some, allowing your heart and energy to connect to the present moment.

xoxo,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Aphrodite is the alluring Greek Goddess of love, beauty and fertility.  Although she reigned over these aspects of life that are feminine and often  perceived as ’soft’, she wielded A LOT of power through her embodiment of them.  This was both very appealing to others, AND  extremely effective in serving her own agenda.

Aphrodite can teach us a thing or two.

Not too long ago I was a woman strung out by what seemed like a perpetual broken heart, false beliefs and as a result - small living.  Aphrodite slinked in one lonely, frustrated evening and whispered in my ear, “It’s about YOU, sister, not them. Focus on YOU.”   I’ll share here with you some of Aphrodite’s teachings - how I apply them to my life  - and how you may want to, too.

Aphrodite is hyper-awake to her own needs. Well….I woke up. I listened to what I needed.  I began to put myself first (and had some ‘assistance’ at times for sure, like the boyfriend who was depressed and had to force me out the door, because he knew he couldn’t give to me).  I cried. I wrote. I listened to my heart. I dared to try new things. Bold things. I had a new kind of FUN.  I began to honor myself on an entirely new level.  It felt exhilarating and a bit out of control - the good version -  at the same time.  What might you be needing to awaken to?

Aphrodite adorns herself , and beautifully so. I dared to adorn myself.  I started pushing my own envelope with jewelry in particular. No more corporate job meant a liberty to wear bolder jewlery - more striking pieces.  This felt like a big deal to me. But I had always looked at these women who seemed so flowy and feminine, yet bold (Aphrodite-ish) - and I didn’t quite own that part of myself that was like them. So I began to.  When I started wearing jewelry that I was so attracted to, I expressed that part of me too, and it felt WONDERFUL.  It changed my energy in impactful ways.  When you feel good, others can feel that. It’s VERY attractive.  How do you  adorn yourself ?

Aphrodite stands in her own point of focus in relationship.  She doesn’t self-abandon for her lover’s approval, or just to be in relationship.  This was an area I had a lot to learn (and always can continue to improve upon). I began to speak my truth more.  I even swung the pendulum a bit far right (like we do sometimes when in new territory) before it swayed to middle ground.  For example, there was that second date that never got to dinner because I walked out after drinks, with no excuses, just the hard truth (delivered honestly) that I didn’t need dinner, or another date.  Nowadays, my practice is often checking in with myself and my needs regularly, and especially at those times when my sometimes-brazen and loving husband pitches an idea that I’m not quite sure about - for me.  Friends compliment my ability to not abandon myself , or them for that matter, in my relationship with my husband.  I’m grateful for the witnessing. It’s a delicate dance, for sure.  Are you standing in your own point of focus within your relationship (reminder: this breathes more fire and life into your relationship, not just you!) ?

To your Aphrodite-living,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

There’s simply not enough of us telling our story of success - to ourselves -  and then to our world.  

Often we hear ourselves (yours truly included at times) and others talking about what’s NOT happening, why it isn’t, and how much we don’t want more of  what is or ‘THAT!’.   It’s the stream of subtle and not so subtle negativity, and it’s  SO not ATTRACTION-rich for dating,  love, relationships, or success in life.

Remember, the very powerful Universal Law of Attraction can be defined as,”Things of like vibration are drawn.”  Like attracts like.  And vibration is transmitted -  like radio waves - when you’re tuned in to a station.  If you’re on AM 840, you’re not going to be able to listen to FM 97.3, are you? 

I work with clients to educate and mentor on just how important this ‘Telling Your Story’ is for success in love and in life.   In *anything* that you want to create.   

See, we are all living our story - our attraction - right now.  What is in our life *right now* was once a thought, and then it formed a belief, and it formed and held a vibration that then matched and attracted everything that we currently are experiencing.  Tell me, do you like - and love - what you’re living? 

So, what story do you want to tell?   What’s your Story of Success?  Write it down.  Vision it.  Begin to talk about it.  By doing these things, you’ll begin to LIVE IT.  People, circumstances, inclinations, hunches - all will attract to you. 

I partner with women to help them begin to tell and live into their NEW story, creating new results in love - in relationship - and in their lives.  In late July,  I’ll be hosting a special live RETREAT  that I can’t wait to send out more details on very soon!  At a very beautiful location, we’ll spend the day together focusing on what will create for you the life and love of your dreams.  No more struggle. No more holding patterns.  The retreat, along with some follow-up to tele-classes,  will teach you the process that changed my own life and those of the clients that I’ve worked with.   

For more details on this upcoming event or how to get started working with me,  you may write to assistant@belovesavvy.com.  

Here’s to your successful story-telling. ;-)

Lots of love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m going to be interviewed this morning at 10am Pacificon BlogTalkRadio by lifestyle expert and coach Leslie Gayle on the topic of Attracting New Love.

If you’re single and looking for insight & inspiration, or in a relationship & frustrated, tune in today as we talk about steps to take to INVEST IN YOURSELF, because

LOVE is an INSIDE JOB.

And, our RELATIONSHIPS are only as healthy as WE are.

I’d love to hear from you today as we’ll be taking Q&A.

Call in #: 347.327.9015

Live Stream & Replay:  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Leslie-Gail

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

My mom use to take me skiing a lot.  For skiing, I was allowed to cut a day of high school to beat crowds, which made it all the more fun.

I use to hear this comment from her on our ski trips,  ”If you’re not falling down, it means you’re not really trying”. 

Think about the FEAR that comes up (if you allow yourself to recognize it) as you think about going for something BIG.  Or maybe doing something completely NEW to you.  FEAR can bubble up, sometimes very easily.  This is what can stop us dead in our tracks, if we let it. We’re afraid to fall down.

The older we get, the more fearful we can become as we get more and more conditioned to own perceptions & the perceptions of others and the world.  I  mean, there’s SO much to be afraid of, right?  Just listen to random passing conversation (as I am right now in a coffee shop as I write) - or what you hear from a friend or someone who loves you - or what you read on news sites or see on TV. What we find ourselves saying to others. 

This plays out often when it comes to attracting love,  too, my savvy friend.  We’re often sitting back in ‘fear’ or concern:

Am I going to meet him?

Is this guy the right partner for me?

Why doesn’t it seem to be going the way I dream of it going?

Often, we don’t try a new approach - or create a different and winning Mindset to support our desires - because we’ve got this subconscious fear, of either success or of failure.

A clue that you’re on to something - that you’re giving the mountain and slopes the best of you - is when you feel the Fear coming up, and you continue to take a step forward anyway. And then another. And another. 

It’s not a matter of having NO FEAR, or preserving yourself out of FEAR, it’s a matter of feeling the Fear, and moving forward toward your desires anyway.

And, if you’re local to the Bay Area, come spend the day with me on March 21st ! I guarantee, you’ll walk away clearer, more confident and feeling more courageous.  The Savvy Woman’s Boot Camp: Hitting Re-Set for New Love will hands-down be the best investment you make in yourself to create love and a life of your desires.  Reserve your seat here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/Events.htm

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Sister,

Don’t for a minute doubt that where you are is where you will always be, or that you can’t have experiences beyond your wildest dreams.

Our doubts begin to creep in (and creep UP) the moment we start to step out more into our light.  It’s that inner critic that says, “Who are you foolin?”  “Why would it get better than this - be grateful for what you already have, gf.”  “Who are YOU?”.

Often, we don’t even know we’re doing this. 

Are you feeling:

-Tired of the same, ‘ol - same ‘ol?  BORED.

-Hesitant of trying somthing NEW, depsite the craving for it?   Ie.:  New style, Online dating, New work, New way of Being in the world

- Like you’re playing ’small’, but don’t know the HOW? of playing the bigger game you so desire

This Saturday I’m hosting my first Boot Camp in Ft. Mason, where we’ll spend the day working on creating a blue print for LOVE & SUCCESS in 2009.    This day will help you to see that the world is truly your oyster, and give you some incredibly valuable exercises that help you create a Vision that pulls you forward into what you desire.

We can live in a  continuous flow of Well-Being, and yet it’s easy to feel very disconnected from that, and just look for evidence that supports otherwise.  Remember, whatever we believe to be true, we very easily find evidence that supports that.

Enroll in my Savvy Woman’s Boot Camp today!  You’ll be inspired and equiped to have a year unlike any other!

www.BeLoveSavvy.com/events/htm

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com