Posts Tagged ‘dating and relationship coach’

‘How’ will it Happen???

Friday, October 3rd, 2008

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m finding myself looking at this subject a lot, whether I’m working with clients, or I’m looking at myself and my own approach to  goals and dreams.

The always right there, one-step-behind: ” How???? ”

You know what I’m talking about, right?

We can dream, vision, desire and get all fired up about what it would look, feel, taste like.  And then - maybe it’s in a next moment, or next day, or next month.  Perhaps it’s after many steps towards it but, in a one-step-back (perceived) moment.  We do it.  We go to the HOW?  

HOW is….

  • my dream relationship going to arrive?
  • am i going to loose those last 5 lbs?  or the 30?
  • will my work, in which i am in utopia, by the way, arrive?
  • can i get my relationship back on track, because we are so far off of center?!
  • will i get on the Oprah show?

Can you relate?   Do you have seemingly far-off, outlandish, or ‘impossible!’ desires that you can daydream of, but as you take a serious look -talk about- take a step toward,  very quickly stop you dead in your tracks when you’re mind rests on the

H-O-W?

Me too.

I do.    And here’s the thing: the H-O-W is our biggest enemy.  Biggest!!  Because when we are looking at where we are & where we want to be - and focusing on what seems like a big wide open space between the two, where no proof of our desired state is there waiting for us, we panic.  The ‘How’ is actually out there, raising it’s hands, saying - “Over here!  I’m right here!  You’re on the right track! you can do this! Just take a step.”

No, we are not 10 month-olds trying to take a first step.   Or are we?   Why not try that visual on for size?   Pretend that 10 month olds can read, just for this example.

So, you are a 10 month old baby.  Mommy is coaxing you to take your first giant step, as she’s witnessed you holding on to the coffee table, standing tall and strong - on your very own.    You stand holding on for dear life, and she’s several feet away from you, hands out - telling you you can come to her - all smiles.   But, just next to her is a big, bold sign that says, 

“HOW?”

As this particular 10 month old in our example, you can register what this sign means to you.    It is saying ‘ Come on - you haven’t taken a step yet - Missy - what makes you think you’re going to begin right this minute?  Huh?  Tell me.  Tell me!  Don’t even try it.”

What if you, as this 10 month old, believed more strongly on this grumpy, bully sign than you did your Mom ?

Dream coach Marsha Weider, whom I heard speak in past months, refers to this as ‘going to strategy too soon.’   When we do, our dreams get ’schquelched’, she says.   We get stopped before we get started.

The HOW actually shows up.  It does.  Absolutely.  But we have to BELIEVE it is possible (our desire, our dream, our goal) and take ACTION toward it.  As we do,  the HOW gets taken care of.   

I’m so sad just typing this.  I really am.  What would our world be like if we all decided to not look at that ‘bully sign’ - the HOW? - and decided to go for it anyway? 

Unlimited possibilites.

With love,

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Got vibration?

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Dear Savvy Woman,

I know, a few letter changes on the end of ‘vibration’ in that title, and we’re talking about an entirely different subject.  Sort of. ;-)

We are talking about raising our pleasure factor.  Our energy.  If you haven’t seen ‘What The Bleep Do We Know’, or ‘The Secret’ - both of which have brought this topic of Quantum Physics and Law of Attraction to the Mainstream - rent them. 

I am so passionate about this topic, savvy friends!  Years before the launch of The Secret, I was told to pick up a book called, “Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting”.  I read it, and it changed my life.  Validating what I had sensed - in a very distant way- to be true about life, I devoured the book and began practicing the concepts of manifesting in a more focused way than I had previously.  The net, net:  Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.  Measure everything by how you feel = emotions.  You must incrementally raise your feeling tone/emotional vibration to match that which you desire.  For example, you might be desiring a healthy, juicy relationship, but you vibrate (feel) low because you’re focused on the fact that it’s missing, not gonna happen.  And, equally important, you remain in a lower-vibe ’space’ with tolerations and other miss-matched vibration environments and accepted circumstances.  In this I refer to everything from tolerating using a mal-functioning appliance, to clothing that doesn’t fit well or please you, to friendships and work that is energy-draining and toxic.   We are always at choice, but we often don’t want to acknowledge this, because it equally acknowledges personal responsibility - for everything -down to the coaster on my desktop as I write this!  Ugh…

Oh my, I could go on and on about this subject.  And, in no means do I ‘have it down’ - believe me. I enjoy the challenge of dipping into this regularly and taking inventory of how I am vibrating - what tolerations I need to eliminate - what I need to upgrade, both internally and externally.  It’s much easier said than done.  Why?  Because, as humans, we like to stay in our ‘knowns’ and fear change.  Yes, Savvy Woman, it’s true.  We all operate from our conditioning, that - by the time we are 7 years old - is fairly ingrained in us in order to fit in within our families, communities and society at large.  So, that means, especially as women, a fear of not being accepted, and of rocking the boat. 

If you are on a path of claiming, aligning with and acting on your heart’s desires, you must put your focus on what you want (not what you don’t want)-  and - have the courage to take action that supports you in vibrating and attracting in that which you know, in your heart, to be true for you.  To be, do, and have all  that you desire - that is your birthright.

Which leads to my point that inspired the title of this blog, as quoted from Ask And It Is Given, by Esther and Jerry Hicks (a must read): “The reason you have not already gotten what you desire is because you are holding yourself in a vibrational holding pattern that does not match the vibration of your desire.  That is the only reason -ever…..if you will stop and think about it, or more important, stop and feel about it, you can identify your very discord.”

We must ever so gently, and bit by bit, release our resistance - our thoughts - which is the only disallowing factor involved.

Increased relief (how are you feeling?) indicates that you are releasing resistance, and increasing your vibration - where increased feelings of tension, frustration and anger are indications of you adding to your resistance.

How do we vibrate to match our birthright’s desires?  Aside from taking a serious look at what my tolerations are and making necessary shifts there (sometimes big ones such as my work and relationships) , some things that I make sure to infuse into my daily living to increase/support my vibration are:

- Time with myself to tap into Spirit/Source/the Divine within me:  meditation, prayer, writing, reading

- Inspiring music

- Organized and clear environments of home, office, car

- Play dates with friends or with myself to look forward to

- Focused time visioning myself in the situations, environments and being-ness as if I am already in the desired outcome (ease as a mother,  collaborating with other leaders on projects, working with Oprah, traveling with Larry (my husband) in Africa).

- Excellent self-care:  healthy eating, exercise and sleep.   A regular massage.

Here is to remembering our birthright and releasing all that doesn’t vibrate with it !

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com