The craziest step I took when I was single…
Wednesday, February 24th, 2010Dear Savvy Woman,
Years ago, I walked into my office one morning to find a Craig’s List posting sitting on my desk. A reality show called “How to Get the Guy” was going to be filmed in San Francisco, where I live, and they were looking for women to cast.
Mark, the colleague that was behind this, was so happy in his partnership with ‘Bill’ for over 20 years. He really wanted to see me get hitched and have babies, always stopping by and asking me about my relationship status (bless his heart), and racking his brain on who he could possibly to set me up with.
So I listen politely to his prodding, and then sit alone and stare at the sheet of paper. I begin to alternate between shock and awe. Shock says: ‘Nah…how could you EVEN? Reality TV – yikes! And you’re WAY too afraid of the spotlight and of exposing yourself – you despise sending those company-wide brag emails that they make you do (which was painfully true – funny, huh?)!’ Awe says, or rather sings, ‘Oooh…Fun and daring! New! Exciting! Out-there! Yes….’
A Cheshire- like- smile broadens across my beating heart, and thankfully, the Awe voice wins out. I make a simple submission to the ad right then and there, answering why I’d be great for their show:
“I have a life filled with great people but I haven’t found the right man yet, and I am ready!
I’m 34, working in marketing and sales. I would be great for the show because I always bring enthusiasm to what I’m doing, and I’m a genuine, likeable and determined person.
I’d love to meet with you -
Leslie”
What resulted was a series of in-person meetings with the show’s producers. And each meeting left my heart beating! And I’d be lying to you (and myself ) if I said it was soley because I was showing the Universe that I was serious about creating love in my life, and courageous enough to try something so out of my comfort zone, although this was largely, and ultimately, true.
But let’s keep it real. There was also a little (or a lot) of seduction going on in each meeting: this Hollywood-like production of interviews with cameras, my own personal assistant for the day as I complete psych screenings and blood tests, and so on…let’s just say, it was easy to sit back and nap once I stepped on this train!
Well, I woke up and knew my exit when ,once in the final round, I learn that the crux of the show was not what I thought it was (following my life and how I met men & dated) - but rather - manipulating how I would meet men & date them (the show of course maintaining total control). Surprise! (not) So reality finally sets in with me, and I decline.
Flash-forward a year, and I watch a few episodes with Larry, who I was then dating (and living with). I reflect, knowing that having taken that little adventure with myself and the show, I had grown and changed (and was glad that I had followed my heart to both pursue, and decline). This process, along with specific steps that I took and teach women in my 7-step system, had contributed to me connecting with Larry (my husband), and perhaps most importantly, helped shape who I was evolving into: a woman who was excited about…herself!
I’m sharing this story with you (thanks for staying with me if you still are) because I want to communicate what I help clients to come to know and experience for themselves (and what I continue to learn in my own evolution):
- We transform our experiences and results in life by taking new actions – and the steps that frighten you, and make those that believe they know you well say, ‘Really? You what…?’ – they will be the jewels in your crown.
- When you have someone holding the space for your potential – for you to continue to step out and step up - you will. If you don’t, you probably won’t. Most people don’t, and it costs them their happiness, health and success, because most people you meet are complaining about life. Mark my colleague was the catalyst in this story, but what I didn’t share earlier was that I had signed on with my first coach the month befor. I felt different as a result. I felt daring. I felt a gaze on my potential, and that activated new initiative within me.
And every time I get that Cheshire -like-smile across my heart I know that I’m on to something!
To your love,
Leslie
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