I want to share with you a GORGEOUS, soul-full, life-changing prayer that I just heard via Robert Holden’s radio show this morning.

Here it goes:

“DEAR UNIVERSE,

PLEASE SHOW ME THE TRUTH ABOUT MYSELF, NO MATTER HOW BEAUTIFUL.”

So simple, so powerful, so True.

We can be afraid of the Truth, and often we can resist and push away our good.  It’s part of being human, and yet the more we accept ourselves, the more we find others who more than accept us.  And the more we live into our brightest destiny.

This prayer speaks to that saying, ‘How good can you stand it?’.

Let’s all ‘stand it’ just a little bit more, shall we?  I’m in! ;-)  I’m going to take Robert’s advice, and say this prayer every day for the next 10 days.

I hope that you’ll join me!

Much love,

Leslie

It’s amazing how we can all feel alone – occasionally, or all the time. For those who experience this, you know it’s true: even when you have a relationship in your life, and maybe many friends, family, and more – at times you can still feel alone. Very alone. And that’s often more painful than the person who’s alone in a new city, or simply living a very quiet life with few people in it.

I can end up feeling alone when I’m really going against my grain and not honoring myself – for instance – when I use to surround myself with others that I didn’t have as much in common with, or that I had outgrown. Despite going through the motions, the actions and time spent felt pretty empty and meaningless.  If you’ve been here, you know it’s icky-feeling.  Or, when I’m not connecting with my husband in ways that I am yearning and needing to, whether it’s emotional, physical or spiritual. I feel the disconnect, and if I don’t address it, it just builds.

Jane Fonda was recently on the Oprah show – did you catch it?  Get a chance to if you can, it was incredibly inspiring. She’s 72 and she has such a young spirit – not to  looks amazing!  She’s taken significant steps to stay true to herself in her life, which is often simply staying the course of  continuing to acquaint yourself with yourself!  She said it’s a life long journey, and as I approach the end of my 30′s, I would agree. I feel like I’m just beginning.

Jane brought up feeling a lack of intimacy in her marriages – all 3.  Oprah needed to get clear – she wasn’t inferring that she wasn’t physical with them?  Jane spoke that even when you have physical intimacy, you can lack deeper intimacy, namely to be your full self with another.

Believe me, this is not as easy of a task as you might imagine. We can live our entire lives with others – partners, family, friends – yet not feel deeply seen or known.  Yes, this is a deep topic, but its a topic that I’m really passionate about, and something that I know many women yearn for. Intimacy. Connection. We think that if we have certain things, people, etc lined up in our lives – then we’ll be ‘happy’ (as we hear it referenced so much these days).  When we’re not, we wonder why.

I wonder, if we knew that we were not alone – that we are all connected (and on a deeper and more unseen level than by text, email and video!) – would we feel more free to reveal ourselves more, unafraid of rejection….and of being alone?  Would we show more of our deeper needs and desires to our beloved and create an opportunity for them to then be met?  Would we reveal more of our scary secrets to our friends, and feel more connected as a result?  Would we simply smile more at strangers, and open our hearts to others – meeting new people on the journey?

I often coax new clients to start small.  So in this case, if you are single and wanting relationship, or in one but desiring more connection, begin with yourself. How do you carry yourself and direct your thoughts?  Are you open and inclusive?  Or closed, negative and judgmental (if just inwardly)? Practice first with customer service on the phone, at the Apple store or Starbucks, or walking by a stranger.  Smile with eye contact, keep your voice kind, and your heart open.  Often with positive connections with strangers, we’re reminded that we’re really not alone. If we can connect with strangers, we can create positive relationships with the people in our lives – and bring new ones in – right?   And then we can take this truth and energy, and apply it to how we live our lives in rich, deeper  and more intimate and meaningful ways with others.

Dear Savvy Woman,

Years ago, I walked into my office one morning to find a Craig’s List posting sitting on my desk.  A reality show called “How to Get the Guy” was going to be filmed in San Francisco, where I live, and they were looking for women to cast.

Mark, the colleague that was behind this, was so happy in his partnership with ‘Bill’ for over 20 years.  He really wanted to see me get hitched and have babies, always stopping by and asking me about my relationship status (bless his heart), and racking his brain on who he could possibly to set me up with.

So I listen politely to his prodding, and then sit alone and stare at the sheet of paper.  I begin to alternate between shock and awe.  Shock says: ‘Nah…how could you EVEN? Reality TV – yikes! And you’re WAY too afraid of the spotlight and of exposing yourself – you despise sending those company-wide brag emails that they make you do (which was painfully true – funny, huh?)!’  Awe says, or rather sings, ‘Oooh…Fun and daring! New! Exciting! Out-there! Yes….’ 

A Cheshire- like- smile broadens across my beating heart, and thankfully, the Awe voice wins out.  I make a simple submission to the ad right then and there, answering why I’d be great for their show:

“I have a life filled with great people but I haven’t found the right man yet, and I am ready!

I’m 34, working in marketing and sales. I would be great for the show because I always bring enthusiasm to what I’m doing, and I’m a genuine, likeable and determined person.

I’d love to meet with you –

Leslie”

What resulted was a series of in-person meetings with the show’s producers.  And each meeting left my heart beating! And I’d be lying to you (and myself ) if I said it was soley because I was showing the Universe that I was serious about creating love in my life, and courageous enough to try something so out of my comfort zone, although this was largely, and ultimately, true.

But let’s keep it real.  There was also a little (or a lot) of seduction going on in each meeting: this Hollywood-like production of interviews with cameras, my own personal assistant for the day as I complete psych screenings and blood tests, and so on…let’s just say, it was easy to sit back and nap once I stepped on this train!

Well, I woke up and knew my exit when ,once in the final round, I learn that the crux of the show was not what I thought it was (following my life and how I met men & dated) – but rather –  manipulating how I would meet men & date them (the show of course maintaining total control).  Surprise! (not) So reality finally sets in with me, and I decline. 

Flash-forward a year, and I watch a few episodes with Larry, who I was then dating (and living with).  I reflect, knowing that having taken that little adventure with myself and the show, I had grown and changed (and was glad that I had followed my heart to both pursue, and decline). This process,  along with specific  steps that I took and teach women in my 7-step system, had contributed to me connecting with Larry (my husband), and perhaps most importantly, helped shape who I was evolving into: a woman who was excited about…herself!

I’m sharing this story with you (thanks for staying with me if you still are) because I want to communicate what I help clients to come to know and experience for themselves (and what I continue to learn in my own evolution):

• We transform our experiences and results in life by taking new actions – and the steps that frighten you, and make those that believe they know you well say, ‘Really? You what…?’ – they will be the jewels in your crown.
• When you have someone holding the space for your potential – for you to continue to step out and step up – you will.  If you don’t, you probably won’t. Most people don’t, and it costs them their happiness, health and success, because most people you meet are complaining about life. Mark my colleague was the catalyst in this story, but what I didn’t share earlier was that I had signed on with my first coach the month befor. I felt different as a result. I felt daring. I felt a gaze on my potential, and that activated new initiative within me.

And every time I get that Cheshire -like-smile across my heart I know that I’m on to something!

To your love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

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Dear Savvy Woman,

Recently, I sent a special offer to my list where I wrote about a particular Holiday Relationship Blues experience of my own that marked a turning point for me to doing love & dating differently.  (Read my story & see my special invitation for a Love Life Breakthrough Day with me,  HERE).

Many women wrote to me, letting me know how much they appreciated my story.  It seemed to really hit a nerve as some are struggeling this holiday season with their single ‘status’.

If this is you too, I totally understand.  Whether I was absolutely without a date in sight, or I was dating ‘John’ AND realizing that ‘it’ (us) wasn’t seemingly solid enough to justify ANOTHER family introduction over eggnog – the holidays always underscored the fact that I wasn’t living in true love and experiencing the healthy relationship that I so deeply longed for. 

It was only after I took the very steps that I teach my private clients and women who participate in my programs (I’ve designed a 7 step system based on all that I’ve studied, learned and put to practice in my own & other women’s dating lives) that everything changed.  Dating and relating became way more easy and fun , and I relaxed into so much more confidence and enjoyment with the whole process – being single – and with my entire life!  Quickly, I met my honey and now husband.

If you’re dreading being single at the holidays this season, I hope you find solace in two things:  1) you won’t be feeling this way forever (especially if you take new actions), and 2) there is a solution to jump-starting your love life and feeling the polar opposite of dread with your single status.  I’m here to help you do just that.  Do you need  a ‘make-over’ in your love life? Find out more HERE.

Here’s to finding true love in 2010!

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com 

Like what you read? Get more authentic dating, love and relationship tips by signing up for my newsletter. It’s totally free. Check it out: http://www.belovesavvy.com/articles.htm.

Dear Savvy Woman,

“If a man that you want isn’t coming toward you, it might be time to grieve, but it is certainly not the time to be reaching for his lapels”. – Unknown

This was a quote that I use to carry around with me as I was desiring MY Mr. Right, yet sensing that something was off with the way I was being.  I didn’t want to admit this to myself years ago when I was in a relationship that wasn’t working out, let alone admit it to anyone else.  Eventually I decided that I needed to let go of this particular guys lapels, and move on. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that I was holding on to WAY more than just this man’s lapels. 

I meet many women desiring THEIR Mr. Right in my work as a mentor and coach, and often these women are not currently in a relationship holding on, but *they’re grasping their own ’lapels’ of regret and false beliefs*.  These women are letting  things like false beliefs (‘It’s not possible for me’ …’I've missed my window’ …’I blew it so I’ll blow it again’), or attachment to their past hold them back.  As a mentor once reminded me, ‘what you authentically want, wants you back’. 

There IS a ‘Mr. Right’, perfect for YOU.  Question is, do you believe this?  And are you willing to let go of some important things that may be closing you off from connecting with him?

Here’s an example : ‘Shelly’ thinks she’s really super available – doing all the ’right things’ , including spending countless hours online dating – but  – things don’t seem to stick with any one guy and so this experience just cements a belief that maybe it’s ‘not gonna happen’, or that she needs to move cities.  She thinks she’s doing all the right things, and she feels hopeless.  Unfortunately, the truth is that Shelly isn’t open, self-accepting, nor is she internally relaxed in this dating process, so the EASE, fun and confidence that she craves – and is SO magnetic to men – isn’t there.

See, we have to ‘forget the past and forget the future’, in order to calm our minds, ease our souls, and be present to our greatest dreams and deepest desires – and allow them to begin to speak to us, to unfold before us.  And there are some easy steps to doing this. I took these very steps myself, and it not only allowed me to effortlessly meet  & connect to my now husband, Larry – after many years of struggle – but it’s forever changed the way I approach life.

If you are a woman who wants to feel confident, supported and light as you look for YOUR Mr. Right,  learn more about my private and group work here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com.  I want to help you meet YOUR Mr. Right.

Have a great weekend…

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Is this you? If it is, you want to keep reading.  I say self-aware because a conscious woman is a savvy woman! She is knowing (one of the Webster’s definitions of savvy).   She also understands that her awareness of herself, what she wants, and generally of life keeps growing , and, harnessing this is life and LOVE-affirming, and life-changing!

So, if you are a single woman local to the SF area, and ready to up-level her love, relationships and life, I invite you to join the Love & Success circle. Find out more about these circles here.

What I know to be true is that whatever we want in life is both an inside & outside job.  What we believe is what we get, especially what we believe is possible, and what we believe about ourselves.  Not to say it’s about sitting Indian-style for hours in meditation. Far from!  But, what we focus on, what we put into our minds, what energy we put behind our actions, and what and who we surround ourselves with all contribute to our results in life.  When we work with these pieces, we feel bigger.  And when we feel bigger, we act bigger (just as small thinking and feeling leads to small actions).

So if you’re doing the same things, thinking the same things, and giving attention and energy to the same things – and BE-ing the same = you’ll get the same results. If a woman thinks she’s doing everything possible to ‘find a man’ by being online constantly and out 5 nights a week, BUT her mind-set and energy are self-defeating, she might be busy but she is not likely to attract what she most deeply desires in a sustainable way.

Bookmark into your life (2) meetings a month (click here for more info) with me and other savvy women, and receive guidance, resources and accountability to change your life in a powerful way. Challenge yourself in a safe enviroment.  Become accountable in new ways.  Step into amazing energy.  Warning: skeptics, tire-kickers, or silver-bullet- only -please ladies are allowed, however. It won’t be your thing. This is about taking full responsibility for your own results in a feel-good yet productive way. 

Are you ready to be inspired, quiet out that negative ‘group-think’ that’s so pervasive, and take things to a new level?  You can send Donna an email for details, questions, or to schedule a brief chat with me here: assist@belovesavvy.com.

Here’s to new change this Fall.

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Here’s a topic that I coach clients on if it comes up for them- especially that first date when the temptation – and often the tendancy – is high to whip out the checklists and keep yourself on lock-down, potentially shutting down an opportunity for connection.

Tip #2 - Slipping into your Feminine on a Date

In today’s world many women are high-tailing it to coffe dates via Match.com directly from the office.  What happens when we women are still in our ‘doing’ energy (masculine) when we get around men is we can tend to either take over or severely compete with the man of the moment (our date, or in my case, my husband).  Sometimes a dating situation calls for that, and a healthy relationship should be able to ‘hold’ that.  But what I’m refering to here is a pattern that can get in the way of the masculine-feminine ‘dance’.   Here are a few quick ways to transition into more ‘being’ energy, inviting your softer – and receptive – side to come out and shine:

1)  Be sure to change your top, shoes, jewelry – something – when you leave the office to meet someone for a date.  This is not only a great way to ‘adorn’ yourself and feel a bit more feminine, but it’s a structure and way to signal to yourself that you’re work is done, and you can relax now.   (And I know dates can feel like work, but that’s a mind-set to shift as well…for another post).

2) If you’re at home before going out to meet someone , be sure to : light candles, play some music, spray perfume or essential oils.  These all invoke the feminine – and create beauty and an atmosphere that connects you to beauty – and allow you to step out of your head, and into more presence for your date.

3) This is a fun little ‘trick’.  You’ve arrived to a date and your mind is still racing with work or other things.  First, try to do some deep breathing (3 deep breathes from your abdomen can do the trick) or listen to a relaxing song on the way or before you arrive.  And, to slip into feminine-mode, imagine that the date across from you is undressing you with his eyes (even if you don’t desire this to be the case!).  We feel so feminine when we’re undressed…seduced…, so this little exercise can really work to help you sink into that same kind of inviting, feminine energy.  Again, it helps you get out of your head some, allowing your heart and energy to connect to the present moment.

xoxo,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Whether you’re single, married or dating – no matter what the status of you’re relationship, no doubt the tool of Visualizing will change your life – it has mine.  Over, and over, and over again (it works wonders when I’m in an argument with my love).

Visualizing is one of the most powerful things that you can do to create change and bridge your reality over to the place of your dreams. Dating the wrong men? In an unhappy relationship?  Is your marriage suffering? Are you simply feeling dried up and exhausted? Not only has this done wonders for me in my love life, but I can look at other important things in my life -  changing careers, giving important presentations at work, working to get in shape at the gym, and even a most recent television appearance – and the success of these all were the result of a  common denominator: Visualizing.

Years ago when I was between boyfriends, a very wise & savvy friend and I were talking about love and live, and she struck a chord with me when she asked me to ‘feel in’ to what I wanted in a relationship.  ‘Picture in your mind the two of you hanging out – what are you doing together?’  Then I was even more blown away when she again asked me to feel in to (through a Vision – a picture in my mind) things like the way we communicated  – to identify what the feeling-tone was of that – fiery? Clear? Soft & cozy? Expansive & accepting?   

Months before I met my husband, I surprised myself when I was talking with producers of the reality show, “How To Get The Guy’ that was being filmed in San Francisco (but that’s a story for another blog) , and in our discussion it came to my awareness that I had held this Vision in my mind of my future  husband and I having black & white photographs hung in our hallway, particularly of us with our baby.  Now, I wasn’t a girl who had lots of specifics as to details of what her future life would look like, but that image popped up and had served – in some ways unbeknownst to me – as a guide post as I dated. Today Larry and I do have some black and whites of us hung in our hallway, and I smile as I connect the dots back to my Vision.

Another very powerful personal example on Visioning : I spent time one weekend by myself – my first trip with no companion and not work-related – walking the beach in Del Mar, CA and soaking up the gorgeous hotel and pool I was staying at. I journaled, I walked , I shopped – it was a healing time for me after a relationship ended and I had left a job to pursue a coaching career.  I walked the beach every day and visualized my future life – specifically my future husband and marriage. I felt into (via a vision) our communication, how we spent time, the energy of him – and of us.  Unbeknownst to Larry, he proposed to me on that very beach, under the Moonlight, less than 2 years later (but who was counting?).  This still gives me the chills and sweetly reminds me how we live in a magical Universe, if we can only remember to see it that way and Believe.

I’m so passionate about this powerful tool and I teach my clients to use it successfully in their own lives.  It’s so simple, it can be quick and it’s *Free* to boot.  What more could you love about a tool that expands your reality and allows your dreams to unfold, seemingly effortlessly? (Stay tuned for Pt. 2 of this blog where I’ll speak more to this last statement)

Here’s some steps to the “How”:

1. Choose a Visioning medium that comes most easiest for you to ensure regular use & success.   Is it playing a ‘mind movie’? Is it making a Vision box or board?  Is it writing it down?  Maybe all three – but whatever you do, decide to do it, begin, and tap into it regularly – even for just a minute or two.

2. You must shut down your thinking/ego mind while you’re doing this.  That’s the mind that has you perhaps looking to poke holes in this concept, to censure what you’re visioning, to tell you you’re doing it ‘wrong’.   THERE IS NO WRONG WAY. Trust your inner guidance.

3. Get yourself into a relaxed state for a few minutes before you begin steps 1 and 2.  Listen to a favorite song first, laugh at a funny show or joke, move your body.  Get your energy flowing downstream to open up creativity and connect to your inner navigation system – your heart & energy system – that connects easily to Truth and the magical Universe.

Stay tuned for Part 2 – what is ‘happening’ when we regularly Vision & how does this help us take inspired action?  

With love and Universal blessings,

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Navigating the dating-relationship waters can be tricky – no doubt.  A past coaching client called me for an emergency coaching session (I do one-time assessments/S.o.S sessions, so you can contact me here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/contact.htm and indicate ASAP) today.

The net of her issue was that she’s in a relationship of about 6 months and she was starting to feel uncomfortable, namely with them feeling like they’re on ‘autopilot’ with some things (like making plans)  – and – an awareness within herself that some anxiety was stemming from a few previous relationships she’d had that went south. Something was feeling vaguely familiar. Again.  Was it her fear of a ‘repeat’, or was it in actuality, a current issue with ‘John’. It’s difficult to know, and what helps is to address what’s true about the current situation and take it from there.

The net of our coaching session came to this: what was true for ‘Jane’ was that she needed to get more of her needs met – namely, to know generally what their weekend plans were and to have John take a more proactive role in that. And here’s the catch: She must communicate with John in a way that both empowers her (she’s given her power over by waiting for John’s schedule and/or taking it day by day – which is irritating her) as well as honors the relationship and John.

Jane: Well, I guess I’ll tell John that I want to know our plans much more ahead of time.  I’ll have to check in with him each week and ask him when his ball practice is, and if he plans to golf with his friends this weekend. 

Me: Do you know what is so sexy, alluring and attractive to a man?

Jane: No, what? Oh, wait. I think I know where you’re going.  Maybe the ‘telling’ John will be to just schedule some back-to-back girls week-ends, just to show him that I and my time matters!! He’ll see what I mean.

Me:Actually, where I’m going here is that a man finds a woman who claims what she wants for herself, unapologetically and kindly – very, very ATTRACTIVE.  Not as a spoiled child, or a controlling, frightened or nagging adult – but – as a woman who addresses what is true for her while keeping respect and love flowing toward her man.

Here is some sample dialogue of how to tailor an approach when communicating – going from ‘Nagging or Victim Girlfriend’ and ‘Pseudo-Mom’ to ‘Sexy, Attraction-rich, In-Control-and-Loving -Vixen’:

Me (as Jane):  Hi sweetie (sitting down in person), can we talk about something for a second (is this a good time to talk)?

John: Sure, what’s up?

Part 2 – to be continued….

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

My mom use to take me skiing a lot.  For skiing, I was allowed to cut a day of high school to beat crowds, which made it all the more fun.

I use to hear this comment from her on our ski trips,  ”If you’re not falling down, it means you’re not really trying”. 

Think about the FEAR that comes up (if you allow yourself to recognize it) as you think about going for something BIG.  Or maybe doing something completely NEW to you.  FEAR can bubble up, sometimes very easily.  This is what can stop us dead in our tracks, if we let it. We’re afraid to fall down.

The older we get, the more fearful we can become as we get more and more conditioned to own perceptions & the perceptions of others and the world.  I  mean, there’s SO much to be afraid of, right?  Just listen to random passing conversation (as I am right now in a coffee shop as I write) – or what you hear from a friend or someone who loves you – or what you read on news sites or see on TV. What we find ourselves saying to others. 

This plays out often when it comes to attracting love,  too, my savvy friend.  We’re often sitting back in ‘fear’ or concern:

Am I going to meet him?

Is this guy the right partner for me?

Why doesn’t it seem to be going the way I dream of it going?

Often, we don’t try a new approach – or create a different and winning Mindset to support our desires – because we’ve got this subconscious fear, of either success or of failure.

A clue that you’re on to something – that you’re giving the mountain and slopes the best of you – is when you feel the Fear coming up, and you continue to take a step forward anyway. And then another. And another. 

It’s not a matter of having NO FEAR, or preserving yourself out of FEAR, it’s a matter of feeling the Fear, and moving forward toward your desires anyway.

And, if you’re local to the Bay Area, come spend the day with me on March 21st ! I guarantee, you’ll walk away clearer, more confident and feeling more courageous.  The Savvy Woman’s Boot Camp: Hitting Re-Set for New Love will hands-down be the best investment you make in yourself to create love and a life of your desires.  Reserve your seat here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/Events.htm

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com