“What we resist persists”.  So they say, right?  Ain’t it the truth!

We avoid exercising, and what do we get?  Lower energy, a string of poorer food choices, and an overall case of the ‘fug-lies’.

We avoid paying our bills on time, and what do we get?  A feeling of being financially out of control, late charges, and god-forbid, a bad credit score.

We can also massively avoid our fears.   I’ll  share a big fear – avoidance with you, and this isn’t one that is very ‘light’.   My mother died of cancer when I was 23, she was diagnosed with both breast and lung cancer at age 49.   It took me a long time to admit to myself that every breast exam that I do (or don’t do), and every related doctor’s visit I have to breast health, scares the living daylights out of me.  Slowly I admitted to myself that I had fear (naturally) associated with these exams and visits, and I didn’t want to let that fear stop me from continuing to be proactive about my health.  But I realized that I had let my mammogram slip by, and had lapsed to 2.5 years since my first baseline screening was established when I was 34.

Today, I had my second mammogram. Although I was scattered and tense leaving the house and my husband this morning, I eased into the appointment with a conscious thought:  I will be-friend this process. I will pour out as much loving and positive energy as I can to these sterile offices, technicians, and cold machines.  Guess what?  It felt FABULOUS to complete it, and I had an actual fun time!  I girl-talked about jewelry, shoes and vacations (all fun distractions) to the technicians, and ended up confronting another fear – getting blood drawn (not very fun, and not a distraction!) – to anonymously help with a breast cancer research study. This experience served as such a sweet reminder : when we can face our fear, feel it, and then ‘do it anyway’, we truly experience a miracle.  Some small, some big. 

So, savvy ladies, how does this relate to love, dating and relationship ?  Talk about fears!

Got one?  Take an honest look at what you fear. 

• Asking your new guy a revealing (but appropriate) question? 
• Having a hard-but-necessary conversation with your S.O. about something that’s important to you? 
• Keeping yourself open to meeting someone?

Now, create a positive intention:  play a little mind movie of you cast as Star: you’re executing said fear with elegance, grace, and a confident inner smile. You come out on the other side feeling delighted and courageous. 

Now that is one addicting, fear-busting little ‘cocktail’!    From my savvy heart to yours,

LeslieThe Savvy Woman’s Love Coachwww.belovesavvy.com

Dear Savvy Readers,

 

I want to share one of my favorite (and fun) resources that I use to center and check -in with myself on a weekly basis: Shirley Maclaine’s astrologer.  Starting off my week by reading about my sign (Taurus!) and the week ahead on her site reminds me to  stay open in my heart, mind, and being to all that is magnificently possible, both in this week and beyond.  

 

 Although the basis is Astrological,  you’ll notice that the tone is very inquisitive and positive, two things that I love of course, being a coach!  Even if you don’t buy in to this woo-woo sign stuff, you’ll certainly glean some inspirational thought or motivation as you read along.

 

I love this week’s header and introduction:

 

It’s All About What You Want

Right away, following the powerful events of last week, the Spring Equinox and the full moon, you are pulled now into the depths of what it all means. All are being challenged to think seriously about choices and work to sort through confusion and mixed messages being given out to the world at large.And, in the mix of it all, each is thinking deeply about survival and economic balance. For each of you, this is a week to formulate a strategic plan and lay some groundwork.

The inner planets trigger personal desires and inner motivations which are in high gear right now. From the beginning of the Sun’s transit through Aries on March 20, you began your process of rebirthing and life affirming thoughts. As hope is renewed you are also being drawn into thinking more about what you need to be personally happy. The alignment of Mercury and Venus with Uranus this week really compels you to go forward and be a bit more adventurous.

What new idea can you incorporate into your life this week? And, what action might you take to move out of a rut and find more avenues to express and fulfill your life? The energy this week gives rise to a little mindfulness, mixed with a little action, to launch you on your way to a more fulfilled lifestyle.

Read more about this week at: www.shirleymaclaine.com/astrology

 

Enjoy!

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.belovesavvy.com

Nope, not that.   Although it’s too, mighty powerful.

I’m talking about   V-u-l-n-e-r-a-b-i-l-i-t-y.     

 So, a client of mine is dating this guy, let’s call him Mike.   Mike and ‘Jen’ have been seeing each other for a few months.  Dates have been consistent and fun; Mike is affectionate and considerate.  All systems have been ‘Go’ as far as the relative ease and mutuality in their dating relationship.    Jen called in for our regular coaching session, and started off with a big sigh. She told me she was in a bad place:  she was feeling really anxious and uncomfortable regarding Mike.  After some dialogue, she says, “You know, everything is great, just fine, and then if for one day Mike doesn’t call me or text me with a check-in, I find myself spiraling into negative thoughts and insecurity.  I feel so vulnerable, and it’s really uncomfortable.  I CAN’T STAND IT!”. 

What is it about vulnerability that makes us so scared, Savvy Women?  So uncomfortable?  We can forget all that we know (see my Love Savvy Principle #6).  We can walk (or RUN) away from someone just to save ourselves the discomfort, or sabotage things in some other way.  We might be someone who really hits our ‘edge’ when our vulnerable feelings come up.  And they do.  They will.  We wouldn’t be human without them.

 

Jen had been here before, this wasn’t new territory.  But she knew that her conditioned ways of being with these feelings hadn’t gotten her anywhere in the past – by either running away or grabbing on, she had caused more confusion, discomfort and pain, with herself, and often with her guy.

 

Taking a look at what was underneath this feeling of vulnerability for Jen helped her tremendously.   Jen took her power back by deepening her understanding of what was coming up for her, and not immediately projecting it back onto Mike, or sabotaging it by chasing him down or running way.   It wasn’t that Mike was neglecting her (5 days of radio silence and no future date planned might have been another story, as it would have been unusual behavior for Mike). 

 

Stay tuned for an exercise that will bring you V-word sanity, and save you from running or grabbing (inappropriately, that is).

From my savvy heart to yours,

LeslieThe Savvy Woman’s Love Coachwww.belovesavvy.com

I know you, because you’re like me. We’re women.  And although I’m no longer single, the game of love doesn’t stop once you’ve tied the knot.   More so, I dated and relationship-ed quite a bit before I met my man, so I am *very* familiar here.

Being women, it’s safe to say that we do a lot of the analyze emails/texts/last time he called/did this/scheduled a date-thing.  It’s our nature.  And this might serve us once in a while. But , let’s admit what we also know:  it’s just plain crazy-making, obsessive -thought-spinning activity.  As I grow and learn from the experiences that shape my life, I’m reminded of the beauty and power of simplifying.   And when I look at a situation that’s frustrating or fear-provoking, and I view it from a new and simple perspective, it’s powerfully transforming. My awareness grows and shifts, and I find myself elevated to a new place where I not only feel more clear, grounded and energized, but I make choices and decisions regarding that particular situation that reflect my truth.  So, with that said, why not try putting all the typical analyzing-him tactics aside for a minute, and quiet down your mind.  

 Now, envision yourself standing at the train station in a busy European city, about to journey on the last leg of your magnificent vacation. This is the leg of the journey you’ve been most anticipating – you saved the best for last. You are standing with bags in hand, reading the train schedule.Let your guy represent a train.  You know that this train, as they all are, is headed in one direction with a specific destination.  Let his qualities, good and bad, map out the route for you. Who he is and where he is headed, based on what you know of him, represents the destination of the train.  Is this the route and destination that you want and need?   Because, my savvy friend, he is a man, and men are like trains.  He’s mapped the route and is headed in one direction, on one particular route.  Your job is to determine if this is the train that will work for you. Is this the train that will take you on the last leg of your fabulous trip, to your most anticipated destination?  Or, are you boarding it, knowing that it’s not, but hoping that somewhere along the line you will reprogram this train?  You’ll re-route it somehow, someway.

Trains don’t re-program themselves mid-route.  Trains don’t change.  If we would never fathom trying to re-route Amtrak, why would we get it into our heads that we can re-route a man?

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.belovesavvy.com