Hey Savvy Friends!

When I was on the ABC local talk show,  View From the Bay , last month (if you didn’t see the segment, check it out HERE  ) , I received a lot of feedback on the part of ‘Loving Yourself Up’.   I gave some tips for giving yourself ‘love’ first, before you seek it in dating and relationship.  The segment was geared toward women who are looking to date again after a divorce, but truly, I find that women single and dating,  and women married and in relationship – all modern women – can benefit from more slow down, self-care, and self-love.  

These ideas are all geared toward this New Economy – this isn’t about another shopping spree or Spa Day. Nothing against either, as they can serve a purpose and need, but this goes deeper – and also goes farther.

This is about not just being kind and loving to oneself, but also about bringing creativity and romance to your day-to-day.  From you, to you.  When we gift ourselves in these small and sustainable ways, we actually become more Present. And Softer.  We give ourselves a little romance, and this spills over into how we are with others.  We’re happier, more fulfilled, and open.  We can feel more at peace, and more approachable.

The key in ‘Loving Yourself Up’ is keeping it authtentic to YOU.  Just like some women don’t dig Spa days.  They would rather take a 10 mile hike.  Or comb through antique stores. So the first thing that you must do is begin to get more in touch with what it is that you desire – what is calling you – what would feel really good.

Of course it’s wonderful, exciting and blissful to receive romance and gifts and experience from the men in our lives, or to imagine all that you want from the future man in your life.  But, if we begin to practice giving ourselves some romance, small ’loving acts’, we actually make all that we could receive from a current or future partner all the more juicy and enjoyable.  And, we find that we don’t yearn and long for ‘them’ to do, do, do for us.  Because it’s kind of a well that could never get filled by another.  This kind of love must be attended to by the self.

If you begin by creating romance, beauty and simple luxury in your day , you’ll find that other ideas will pull at you, whether it’s taking a walk to the Farmer’s Market, or cleaning out a closet.

Some things that I do regularly:

-Make sure there are fresh flowers in my bedroom, bathroom & office

-Light candles: reading, hanging out, in the bedroom, or in the bathroom while I’m getting ready to go out in the evening.  When I’m paying bills.

-Play music, as much as possible, wherever I am.  I take my Ipod shopping….and when I vaccuum. 

-Set a pretty place setting for dinner, even for take out.  Enjoy a glass of wine or champagne, or special tea.

-Take my time (and making the time to do so) with my hair & make up – just for me – at least a few times a week, or every day – depending on how I feel.

-In dressing , I consioulsy adorn myself with jewelry & color that I love wearing.

-Taking a bubble bath or an extra-long shower, whenever I can.

So, these are a few things that I incorporate regulary.  What are yours?  I’d love to hear what they are.  If you aren’t doing things to love yourself up, what might they be? 

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I went to a Holiday party last night with my husband.  It was one of those gatherings where there was a magnetic buzz and energy in the room (as a coach I’m trained to notice such – we call it “Level 3 listening”), and despite a high noise level and somewhat crowded conditions, I managed to have great conversations and connections with friends and first-time meetings. 

I’m most certain that the outcome for me – I felt so filled up coming home (and not from food or wine, although that was certainly yummy!) – was due in part to the energy and mind-set that I went to the party with. I had expected it to be great, yet not in a way of putting my expectations on a string around my neck which would read, “Meet these, please.”  No, it was an intention that I had had (and I’m not quite sure why), and then simply let go of.   It rested somewhere in the background, kind of like creating a lovely table setting for dinner vs. grabbing paper towels for napkins as you make your way over with the food.

But I digress, as the reason I write about this this morning is about something else, which does relate to the outcome of my evening.

That is the topic of JOY.   And the feminine.  Women being JOYOUS.  Do you know that it is our birthright to be JOYOUS?   That we, as women, are meant to experience and through that, spread JOY to others?

Walking in the door, I met up with a friend I hadn’t seen in some time.  I knew that she had been back and forth with a man that’s been in her life for years, and that recently the relationship had ended.  We spoke of it, and she told me of the struggle, and now of what she is up to, including losing extra weight she felt she was carrying while she was unhappy.   She looked radiant.  When we had hugged hello, I could feel her JOY.  Yes, it was tinged with other things – transition, being with ‘what is’ (a love was changing form, no longer her boyfriend), giddiness about new possibilities.  But, the JOY of standing in her truth and facing it, and living life was palpable.  Call it a more subtle , quiet JOY – but it was JOY.

Later, I saw a few women that I hadn’t seen in some time.  We were catching up, being silly and at times laughing loudly.  I noticed that a few men nearby couldn’t take their eyes off of us.  Another man, and friend of my husbands, later told me how nice it is to watch and listen to women laughing together.

We were JOYOUS.  Women have a way of being JOYOUS together that is SO attractive, SO contagious, SO necessary. 

And, we can also be JOYOUS alone – just with and being ourselves.  When a woman feels joyous she has a lightness to her walk and to her face.  It truly attracts the world – plants, animals, children, men, women.  This AUTHENTIC JOY is what truly moves mountains, amongst all the rest.

Please remember to fill yourself up with JOY on a regular basis.  Take inventory of what you can be grateful for if you are questioning what you can feel JOYOUS about.   The simple things truly bring us the greatest JOY.  If you have women in your life, connect with them on a regular basis.  If you don’t, make it a goal to change that and cultivate connections with other women.  This is an important part of cultivating and replenishing the feminine within us - being around other women and being JOYOUS together.

It is so contageous, so magnetic, so attractive.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com