Dear Savvy Woman,

“JOY heals so much faster than saddness and grief, worry and concern.”

-Denise Linn

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m finding myself looking at this subject a lot, whether I’m working with clients, or I’m looking at myself and my own approach to  goals and dreams.

The always right there, one-step-behind: ” How???? ”

You know what I’m talking about, right?

We can dream, vision, desire and get all fired up about what it would look, feel, taste like.  And then - maybe it’s in a next moment, or next day, or next month.  Perhaps it’s after many steps towards it but, in a one-step-back (perceived) moment.  We do it.  We go to the HOW?  

HOW is….

• my dream relationship going to arrive?
• am i going to loose those last 5 lbs?  or the 30?
• will my work, in which i am in utopia, by the way, arrive?
• can i get my relationship back on track, because we are so far off of center?!
• will i get on the Oprah show?

Can you relate?   Do you have seemingly far-off, outlandish, or ‘impossible!’ desires that you can daydream of, but as you take a serious look -talk about- take a step toward,  very quickly stop you dead in your tracks when you’re mind rests on the

H-O-W?

Me too.

I do.    And here’s the thing: the H-O-W is our biggest enemy.  Biggest!!  Because when we are looking at where we are & where we want to be - and focusing on what seems like a big wide open space between the two, where no proof of our desired state is there waiting for us, we panic.  The ‘How’ is actually out there, raising it’s hands, saying - “Over here!  I’m right here!  You’re on the right track! you can do this! Just take a step.”

No, we are not 10 month-olds trying to take a first step.   Or are we?   Why not try that visual on for size?   Pretend that 10 month olds can read, just for this example.

So, you are a 10 month old baby.  Mommy is coaxing you to take your first giant step, as she’s witnessed you holding on to the coffee table, standing tall and strong - on your very own.    You stand holding on for dear life, and she’s several feet away from you, hands out - telling you you can come to her - all smiles.   But, just next to her is a big, bold sign that says, 

“HOW?”

As this particular 10 month old in our example, you can register what this sign means to you.    It is saying ‘ Come on - you haven’t taken a step yet - Missy - what makes you think you’re going to begin right this minute?  Huh?  Tell me.  Tell me!  Don’t even try it.”

What if you, as this 10 month old, believed more strongly on this grumpy, bully sign than you did your Mom ?

Dream coach Marsha Weider, whom I heard speak in past months, refers to this as ‘going to strategy too soon.’   When we do, our dreams get ’schquelched’, she says.   We get stopped before we get started.

The HOW actually shows up.  It does.  Absolutely.  But we have to BELIEVE it is possible (our desire, our dream, our goal) and take ACTION toward it.  As we do,  the HOW gets taken care of.   

I’m so sad just typing this.  I really am.  What would our world be like if we all decided to not look at that ‘bully sign’ - the HOW? - and decided to go for it anyway? 

Unlimited possibilites.

With love,

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I know, a few letter changes on the end of ‘vibration’ in that title, and we’re talking about an entirely different subject.  Sort of.

We are talking about raising our pleasure factor.  Our energy.  If you haven’t seen ‘What The Bleep Do We Know’, or ‘The Secret’ - both of which have brought this topic of Quantum Physics and Law of Attraction to the Mainstream - rent them. 

I am so passionate about this topic, savvy friends!  Years before the launch of The Secret, I was told to pick up a book called, “Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting”.  I read it, and it changed my life.  Validating what I had sensed - in a very distant way- to be true about life, I devoured the book and began practicing the concepts of manifesting in a more focused way than I had previously.  The net, net:  Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.  Measure everything by how you feel = emotions.  You must incrementally raise your feeling tone/emotional vibration to match that which you desire.  For example, you might be desiring a healthy, juicy relationship, but you vibrate (feel) low because you’re focused on the fact that it’s missing, not gonna happen.  And, equally important, you remain in a lower-vibe ’space’ with tolerations and other miss-matched vibration environments and accepted circumstances.  In this I refer to everything from tolerating using a mal-functioning appliance, to clothing that doesn’t fit well or please you, to friendships and work that is energy-draining and toxic.   We are always at choice, but we often don’t want to acknowledge this, because it equally acknowledges personal responsibility - for everything -down to the coaster on my desktop as I write this!  Ugh…

Oh my, I could go on and on about this subject.  And, in no means do I ‘have it down’ - believe me. I enjoy the challenge of dipping into this regularly and taking inventory of how I am vibrating - what tolerations I need to eliminate - what I need to upgrade, both internally and externally.  It’s much easier said than done.  Why?  Because, as humans, we like to stay in our ‘knowns’ and fear change.  Yes, Savvy Woman, it’s true.  We all operate from our conditioning, that - by the time we are 7 years old - is fairly ingrained in us in order to fit in within our families, communities and society at large.  So, that means, especially as women, a fear of not being accepted, and of rocking the boat. 

If you are on a path of claiming, aligning with and acting on your heart’s desires, you must put your focus on what you want (not what you don’t want)-  and - have the courage to take action that supports you in vibrating and attracting in that which you know, in your heart, to be true for you.  To be, do, and have all  that you desire - that is your birthright.

Which leads to my point that inspired the title of this blog, as quoted from Ask And It Is Given, by Esther and Jerry Hicks (a must read): “The reason you have not already gotten what you desire is because you are holding yourself in a vibrational holding pattern that does not match the vibration of your desire.  That is the only reason -ever…..if you will stop and think about it, or more important, stop and feel about it, you can identify your very discord.”

We must ever so gently, and bit by bit, release our resistance - our thoughts - which is the only disallowing factor involved.

Increased relief (how are you feeling?) indicates that you are releasing resistance, and increasing your vibration - where increased feelings of tension, frustration and anger are indications of you adding to your resistance.

How do we vibrate to match our birthright’s desires?  Aside from taking a serious look at what my tolerations are and making necessary shifts there (sometimes big ones such as my work and relationships) , some things that I make sure to infuse into my daily living to increase/support my vibration are:

- Time with myself to tap into Spirit/Source/the Divine within me:  meditation, prayer, writing, reading

- Inspiring music

- Organized and clear environments of home, office, car

- Play dates with friends or with myself to look forward to

- Focused time visioning myself in the situations, environments and being-ness as if I am already in the desired outcome (ease as a mother,  collaborating with other leaders on projects, working with Oprah, traveling with Larry (my husband) in Africa).

- Excellent self-care:  healthy eating, exercise and sleep.   A regular massage.

Here is to remembering our birthright and releasing all that doesn’t vibrate with it !

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Friend,

I was in Miami last week attending Fabienne Fredrickson’s “Inner Game of Abundance” Retreat.  It was fabulous.  Fabienne is known for her business “Client Attraction”, and she’s taking things to a new level to realign with her life purpose, and modeling it in a very open and generous way.  My intuition told me to attend as soon as I heard of it, and quickly my mind/Ego tried to shut it downwith “You already know ALL this stuff, Leslie.  What could be of value here?”  Thank G*D I didn’t listen.  It was an incredible, valuable experience!  YAY for shutting down our EGOs - if just for enough time to act on the inner wisdom that is our true guide!

At Fabienne’s retreat, I heard of this analogy that I knew I must share with you.  And that is:  Life is a series of Trapeze Acts.

YOU are swinging on a Trapeze bar - and you need to catch the other one.   You can’t catch the other one, if you don’t let go.  You MUST set sights on the other bar in order to let go.  And you do this with the knowingness that the net is always underneath you, should you need it. 

How many times have you fervently held on to that first bar, swinging as long as it would carry you, until it eventually comes to a halt because you didn’t let go and grab the other bar that was waiting for you?

We can’t grab that bar if we don’t have our eyes focused on it.  Instead, we may hold on to that first bar, with all of our fears and doubts keeping our attention elsewhere, if not our eyes completely closed.  Staying with the familiar - “at least I’m holding - and hanging on- to this bar.”  That known bar is everything from the way you are use to being in the world (putting others first, afraid, selfish, too nice, lost) to situations that you’ve outgrown - you’re ready to catch that next bar of new work, a relationship, a next adventure.

I think of situations that keep us playing small, staying in the ‘knowns’.  We must be willing to step into the unfamiliar, the unknown = the uncomfortable.

The net is always underneath us.  

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I have this little book of quotes entitled, “Moxie” (www.compendiuminc.com)

All the quotes are full of spirit.   Today I opened it up to this:

“I will dare to just do what I do. Be just what I am. And dance whenever I want to.” 

-Beverly Williams

With love and daring,

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Contact me for a Relationship Breakthrough Session today!

Dear Savvy Woman,

I hear you! I’m with you - I swear!  

Despite being a married woman, I continually experience the ‘experience’ of dating via my clients and other single women in my life.   Lately, I seem to get almost as much content from being out in public next to a ‘loud talker’ at a restaurant, or in Walgreen’s on their cell.

Just last night, I was meeting a friend at a neighborhood restaurant to catch up.  I had arrived first and dove into the menu as I was starving.  I couldn’t help but hear the conversation next to me as I silently studied what I would order.

This couple obviously had just met up for a first date.  Conversation was mechanical.  I had arrived just as they were winding up.  What I over heard was them each reviewing how they ‘filtered’ with their dates:  if they went to bars or not, online dating, and even, yes - the Meyer’s Briggs.

I was so sad for these two.  

I know E-harmony does an assessement for appropriate matching - I was a client years ago.  Nothing against them, or any online dating site.

What’s next - ENFJdateme.com?

Listen, I’m all about personal development and compatibility.  I’m a coach.  

AND, no wonder we’ve lost hope as women when we hear, feel and experience this sort of pursuit of ‘the one’.

How romantic is it to discuss dating strategy with someone you are on a date with?   Absolutely ZERO.

Especially, when these ’strategies’ are all behind a computer screen, or tallying up under ‘Zero Risk’ and ‘Proven’ columns.

Is this the reality of Modern Dating?

Maybe for some. 

But I know you, Savvy Woman. 

You don’t want this. 

And you don’t have to have it. 

The more you know yourself and know what you want, the more confident you can be in acting on what’s true for you.

Acting from love.

Not acting from fear.   Fear wants to hide behind things - take a proven way - and acts in discord from the truth of things.

I know you want to believe that you’ll have tons of fun, pleasure, light, and wonder in dating and partnering with your man.

And you can.

You must believe.

If you do - you’ll trust some of those nudges, inclinations and hunches that will lead you to fun, pleasure, light and wonder - and to him.

With love and light,

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

How often are you making choices and responding in life from your  Higher Self?   Who is your Higher Self?   What am I talking about, you say? 

My Higher Self is the woman who speaks and acts from her Truth.  She is very confident - she knows what she likes, and what works for her.  She loves  adventure, and takes risks consistently.  She loves from her entire being and she holds no judgement towards others.  She elegantly flows through encounters, challenges, and her days  - aware of her purpose.  My Higher Self focuses on what is important to her, holding on to that vision as she makes choices that reflect and move toward it.  Oh, and she loves pleasure and fun, and survives on a steady diet of each.

How would you describe your Higher Self?  

You’ve met her.  It’s just that sometimes you forget her.  When you do, you live day to day playing small and taking actions based on your past and what you know to be safe and seemingly ‘proven’.   You continue to make choices that get you more of the same, and often that same is not in the direction of your heart’s desires.  

How do you get aquainted  - get introduced - if you feel like you’ve never crossed paths with her?  

Very similarly to what I recommend to clients to do who are ready to meet ‘the one’:

• Slow down. 
• Take time just for you. Make it sacred. Notice what you want more of, and less of.  This time and noticing accrues like a bank account.  Clarity grows.  And clarity attracts clarity.
• Listen to those inclinations, urges, and nudges that come up more as you still yourself.   Follow them.
• Vision.  Picture yourself 10 years from now, living your dreams.  Who is that woman?  Notice what she’s doing, who she’s doing it with, how she’s doing it.  Is she wearing certain clothes? What does she value?    Find ways to step into her being-ness, today. 

Your Higher Self is ready to take more on!

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Are you aware of what your current mind-set is?   I hope so.  Because mind-set  is *everything*. And experiencing success in relationships and romance doesn’t escape this truth.  Personal success is as much an inner game as it is an outer one.   Shhhh…. I’m going to quiet you naysayers for a second, the ones who point to Supermodel figures and flawless skin as the ‘must haves’ and say, simply , ENOUGH already.  Hold up.

Naomi Cambell sure ain’t got no satisfaction in her personal life - I’d place big money on it.  All the drama she manifests in her world, just on plane travel alone, points to where her mindset rests.  And it’s not in peace, is it?

You see, I’m still reveling in the experience of listening to Marianne Williamson lecture last week up in Marin, and the topic was Living Miraculously.   Marianne largely spoke about the thoughts that we must hold in order to live out a miraculous life.    And that’s what mind-set is.   Notice: where are your thoughts?   Are they in the past?   Are they sitting up on the ledge of FEAR, trying to predict and see the future?  

And, what are your thoughts?   Are they loving, positive, expansive, and forward-pulling, helping you take the action required to step into a grand, heart-felt vision of what you hold for yourself:  focused on the vision of your dreams?   Or, are they doubt-filled, fear-filled, and focusing on what you don’t want?

In James Arthur Ray’s book, Harmonic Wealth, he highlights the fact that the right mind-set is more important than having the right skills, in the context of discussing accomplishments and success.

Here’s an exercise he gives to prove this to be true:  Write down your top three wins or accomplishments to date.  These could include completing school, landing a job in a competitive industry, writing a book, or marrying the man of your dreams.  This is only about you, so don’t compare relative to others, but write down what is true for you.  Childhood accomplishments can be included too.

Now, look at your list, and choose the event that brings up the strongest feelings of accomplishment, the one that makes you feel that you tackled and conquered something worthwhile. Now, mind-storm a list of qualities that you had that helped you to achieve this win.  How were you thinking?  What were you feeling? What were you doing or not doing?  Qualities like vision,  passion, trust, focus may come up.  Or kindness, patience and enthusiasm.  Come up with as many as you can. 

Now, go back through this quality list and next to each,  write if it’s a mind-set related or more skill related.  Ray bets that most, if not all, the qualities are mind-set related and not skill related.   And I do too.  As Ray points out, and very timely with the Summer Olympics just starting, “Every Olympic athlete has the skills, yet few win the gold.  It’s all about the mental game.” 

I meet many women who desire an amazing, rich life filled with love, passion, and integrity.  Some of them understand that they need to step up and into a bigger game, one that is of the right mind-set.   An inner game.  Many still focus on the skill-sets of the right clothes, hair, make up and dating 101’s to ‘get it right’.   Although folding these things in can not hurt, focusing on these exclusively rather than on mind-set isn’t going to win the gold. It’s just not.  It might be a temporary fix or illusion, but it’s not the stuff that wins the gold.

Get your inner game on, ladies.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Hey Savvy Woman,

There’s so much coming out these days on Mind Set, isn’t there?   You’ve probably read or seen The Secret, or at least heard of the Law of Attraction.   Essentially, one large contributing factor of this law, and what brings success to the application of it, is a Positive Mind Set.  One’s thoughts, beliefs and feelings comprise your ‘frequency’ = how you’re vibrating.   Is it Positive?

Positive thoughts equals positive feelings = your vibration increases.   And, per this Law,  Like attracts Like.

Experiencing the powerful effects of positive mind set through my life, and, especially as I got hold of Law Of Attraction and experienced on amazing levels how it truly works,  Positivity is one of the tenants of Being Love Savvy.

It’s not rocket science to observe how the impact of holding a positive attitude with others impacts your interactions and experience, versus the opposite, right?   We’ve all been there.   You’re with a negative-minded friend, and despite the delicious food you shared, or even the good movie you saw  - you leave her and notice yourself feeling e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.   Otherwise known as toxicity, this negative muck has you feeling like you’re sinking in quicksand.  

On the flip side, think about how you feel when you spend time, or even rub elbows, with a positive person.  It’s intoxicating.  It’s uplifting.  Perhaps if you went in to the exchange a little tired, a little agitated,  you notice that you leave it feeling energized. 

This translates most directly into dating and relationships, my savvy friends, as you may well know.   How often have you felt disinterested in someone because he or she just seemed….well, negative?  A downer.  Not so much, huh?

Again, not rocket-science.    But, I’ll tell you,  Positivity shows up in many ways, some of which are not necessarily all verbally given.   Here’s a short list of a few:

• A smile and eye contact
• Supportive, encouraging words
• Openness - approachability, even with body language (no crossing of arms, turning of back)
• Interest - Curiosity in the other person
• Avoidance of gossip or caddy comments
• Laughing, humor (if used in an uplifting way)

Now, if you’re in relationship - how much of this are you doing with your S.O.??   Take inventory, and make sure that your comfort levels haven’t seduced you into the lower-self behaviors of negativity.

Make sure to put yourself in a positive  circle of influence.  Because it rubs off. And with those in your life (certain family members, colleagues, long-term friends) that aren’t so positive, protect your energy and mind-set with structures that help reduce toxic residue:  limit conversations, schedule interactions for a low-stress, low-impact time, and be the bigger person by not jumping in to agree with negative thinking or attitude.

Then, notice the dividends that Positivity pays.   They’re priceless, actually.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

The topic of community has been up for me lately.  I’m experiencing first hand the benefits of surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people as well as sustaining the feelling of connection that our communities give to us.  It’s one of those things you can just take for granted or overlook - until you find yourself isolated or floating about with no anchor to ‘home’.

I was actually curious what the dictionary definition is, and found, “any group living in the same area, or having interests, work, etc. in common.”  

Part of my inspiration to write about this came from my experience at a house-warming party over the weekend.

Mid-way through the evening, the host asked us all to stop, gather around, and one by one, give our name & our favorite restaurant in SF.  Now, how often do you attend gatherings in someone’s home and leave not having met someone - even if there were only 20-30 people attending?   I have!   And I consider myself generally to be a social and outgoing personality.

What I loved about this was it allowed us to feel a little more connected to eachother.   After we circled around and everyone had a chance to introduce themselves and hear of SF favorites, we broke back into our smaller conversations.  But something was different.  The energy at the party was raised and we all felt a little more connected, without necessarily speaking to eachother directly. 

Often I coach women who are working on changing some important aspects of how they’re living and operating, and their perspective on things:  no small feat.   One client raised her hand immediately and wanted to talk about her relationship with wine - she was uncomfortable with it.   Another has been taking big steps to claim what she wants for herself in relationships with men - also no feat when your history reflects years and years of dead-end dating.

Both of these women told me that they didn’t share too much with anyone in their lives.  These steps that they were taking were ones that they were taking alone, other than with the coaching relationship with me.

I encourage my clients to build and tap into their personal communities.   Enroll trusted friends, family and coworkers (when appropriate) to be on your side: share where you are and where you’d like to be.  It’s freeing.  We are all in this together.  The more we become transparent and reveal who we are and what we’re up to, the more personal power we gain.  This builds our confidence and self-esteem.  Community is essential for spiritual and emotional health.  

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com