Dear Savvy Woman,

Here’s a topic that I coach clients on if it comes up for them- especially that first date when the temptation – and often the tendancy – is high to whip out the checklists and keep yourself on lock-down, potentially shutting down an opportunity for connection.

Tip #2 - Slipping into your Feminine on a Date

In today’s world many women are high-tailing it to coffe dates via Match.com directly from the office.  What happens when we women are still in our ‘doing’ energy (masculine) when we get around men is we can tend to either take over or severely compete with the man of the moment (our date, or in my case, my husband).  Sometimes a dating situation calls for that, and a healthy relationship should be able to ‘hold’ that.  But what I’m refering to here is a pattern that can get in the way of the masculine-feminine ‘dance’.   Here are a few quick ways to transition into more ‘being’ energy, inviting your softer – and receptive – side to come out and shine:

1)  Be sure to change your top, shoes, jewelry – something – when you leave the office to meet someone for a date.  This is not only a great way to ‘adorn’ yourself and feel a bit more feminine, but it’s a structure and way to signal to yourself that you’re work is done, and you can relax now.   (And I know dates can feel like work, but that’s a mind-set to shift as well…for another post).

2) If you’re at home before going out to meet someone , be sure to : light candles, play some music, spray perfume or essential oils.  These all invoke the feminine – and create beauty and an atmosphere that connects you to beauty – and allow you to step out of your head, and into more presence for your date.

3) This is a fun little ‘trick’.  You’ve arrived to a date and your mind is still racing with work or other things.  First, try to do some deep breathing (3 deep breathes from your abdomen can do the trick) or listen to a relaxing song on the way or before you arrive.  And, to slip into feminine-mode, imagine that the date across from you is undressing you with his eyes (even if you don’t desire this to be the case!).  We feel so feminine when we’re undressed…seduced…, so this little exercise can really work to help you sink into that same kind of inviting, feminine energy.  Again, it helps you get out of your head some, allowing your heart and energy to connect to the present moment.

xoxo,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Hi Savvy Friend,

I’m back from what felt like the ‘dead’, which was only about 5 days of being a bit laid up with a cold.  But you know how it feels when you’re not in your best  – or really feeling pretty miserable, weak and sick – and you just want to crawl out of your skin?  I had some of that.  And then I thought of all in the world that are much more sick than I.  And I read a  Sunday NY Times article on South African women – girls- selling sex to Truckers so that they can have a place to sleep that night.  I don’t mean to be too heavy on this Monday morning, but I’m sharing this with you because it was my process and I know it’s often yours too. 

We must be grateful for this moment, and for all that we have.  And when we’re wanting something different – our health, a new opportunity in love, work, or life – to come from a place of appreciation – wholeness ‘as is’ – that is the key.  And it’s the Truth.  It’s ‘what is’.

BE REALLY WHOLE, AND ALL THINGS WILL COME TO YOU. ~ Lao-Tzu

This quote is so simple yet so inclusive.  

Here’s a way to break this down and step into a new perspective:

1) Be REALLY WHOLE….what does this mean for you *today*?   I say today, because we are ever-evolving creatures. Our needs change as we grow, expand, and experience.   What you need to eat for instance to keep healthy today may have changed dramatically from what you typically ate, or needed to eat, last year or 10 years ago. 

What you may need in your relationship – or in the relationship that’s on it’s way to you – might be very different from what you’ve experienced or needed in the past. Relationships are always mirrors of ourselves, who we are BEING, and where we are.  So again, look to yourself now.  What would make *you* BE REALLY WHOLE?  Maybe it’s introducing a new activity or ‘maintenance method’ (even the easiest relationships take some work, and maintaining their luster can involve things like regular ‘I love you because….’ , check-in conversations, and surprises for each other).  If you’re single, what are you creating in your mind and being for what you want to attract?  Single or in relationship – the bottom line is always YOU.  What would have *you* BE REALLY WHOLE? 

2) Chunk this down to *today*. Or what’s *next*.  What can stop us in our tracks in overwhelm, or sabotage this process,  is the common need to broad-stroke things and think in black-and-white, like there’s some million-dollar answer to this question that will bring ever-lasting prosperity and bliss to ourselves and our lives, and our relationships.  There isn’t.  Instead, think baby steps.  Each step being a bread crumb on our trail.

3) Reflecting on this question ‘What would have me BE REALLY WHOLE’, listening to what you receive in terms of insights, answers and inclinations, and then ACTING on that will bring you powerful movement in your life, and….ALL THINGS WILL COME TO YOU.

Are you local to SF?  Our Success Circle is a perfect way to bookmark time for YOU to slow down, get clear and stay accountable to what you are creating and want to create in your life!

You can learn more about this HERE.  Contact Donna at assist@belovesavvy.com to schedule a 10-15 minute chat with me to get any questions on the circle answered & ensure it’s a good fit for you.

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

By now you know that I do follow Astrological happenings – I’ve actually become much more attracted to planetary transits and what they bring, than I have the ‘What’s your sign?’ stuff – which I use to be *ruled* by, or so it felt.

So today I had a huge Mercury Retrograde *slap* in the face when my tele-class was in the works for a 10am start, and I could not, for the life of me, get on the line.  This is the second time , in only a matter of about 5 total calls I’ve held thus far in my BeLoveSavvy.com career, that this has happened to me.  I’ll place bets the last was in a Merc Retrograde, i’m curious to look back now…

So my aunt, who is a wonderful therapist and Savvy Woman, had told me yesterday that she wanted to make the call… and she poked me at 5 after the hour with a ‘where are you – we’re sitting here on the line wondering where you are…’.  Needless to say, it can feel quite frustrating to be caught by  Mercury Retrograde.  Things un-explainably may happen in a seemingly negative fashion with your computer, car, communications, contracts – all these things can suddenly have odd ‘issues’.     I had all the right call -in information this morning for me to get on the call line as the ‘Host’ – yet it wasn’t working.  5 tries and 2 phones later, I finally got on, a little frazzled.

I read that all the “Re’s” are what you must take-in and surround yourself with during this 3-week period (that I believe ends somewhere around the 27th of May),  such as:

• REvise
• REpair
• REview
• REconnect
• REevaluate and
• REdo
• REnew

“They” say don’t launch anything major, don’t sign anything that’s significant, and take lots of time for things and have a back-up plan.

Just a little FYI from a believer. ;-)

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

This is in ’Life Improvement 101′,  and it will amaze me when I forget it in my own life - which I can and do!

Although recently I began implementing it into new areas of my life – some areas I hadn’t given myself permission to apply this to in the past – and it’s simply rocking my world!

Do you want to rock your world – shake things up a little bit with yourself?

Well, then….Drum-roll please…

Take INSPIRED actions, only.  What do I mean by this?  Well, I can bet you are like most of us living in this modern life, which is that we are leading very busy lives. So busy in fact that often everything just kind of runs together, gets more and more busy and overwhelming, and eventually you either flat-line in apathy (maybe without knowing it) or you stay on the merry-go-round getting so out of touch with your authentic self and without a minute to spare.  But that’s truly it’s own topic that deserves it’s own attention.

Taking INSPIRED action means both responding to things if and when you feel inspired to do so.  It also applies to -quite beautifully - when you are looking to do the BIG things; the steps that have you feeling trepidation because they are NEW and UNKNOWN.

The brilliance of this, and I can say I am continually surprised, is that energetically everything aligns when you take inspired action.  Rather than operating from shoulds, indecision, or resentment, by taking inspired actions only you align with what’s true for you which aligns with the Universe and it just feels so light and breezy-easy. 

This apples to everything from deciding what you want to do tonight, to who to call back, to placing calls for information-interviews while you’re job hunting.  What happens is that we often act on reaction, or out of ‘musts’ and ‘shoulds’.   We also wimp out when we don’t feel inspired and we’re facing something that feels daunting and unknown.

Things to do to get inspired and into action:

- Get a little quiet.  Pause before you return a call from a negative friend and check in with yourself – is this a Yes or a No?  Give yourself permission to say NO to doing something that may have just become habit.

-Tap into your VISION (don’t have one? search my blog for Vision Box, Mind Movies, etc).   Does this action or response you’re looking to take align? 

-When you’re stepping out & up into something new, focus on  making decisions and taking inspired actions based on where you want to be, not from where you are currently.

Believe me, this isn’t always easy and it takes some awareness  practice, but the dots connect and connect and like any good habit, it becomes easier and more natural as you go along.  I promise.

Much love,

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Now, to be mischievous in dating and relating…

Again, a reminder that what we’re doing here is tricking ourself into ACTING outside the box. That’s where the amazing results lie.  It strips you from your boxed-in ways and allows your Higher Self to express and attract.

Being intentionally mischievious with yourself simply has you suprised at YOU.  It can take the form of wearing a dress to an event that you wouldn’t normally, maybe even running errands -or changing your make up (go get it done at a counter & buy the lipstick).    It can also be handing your card to someone you’re chatting with (if you never have), or better yet – asking him out!   Personally, I felt so liberated (and a little ‘out of control’ aka my ‘comfy zone’ - the clue that you’re on to something) when I asked Larry, my husband, out for the following night after meeting & talking with him.   I had never asked a guy out!  It worked. 

In dating and relating, this can also be standing in your Truth when you normally don’t.  For instance, your boyfriend typically waits until the last minute to make plans, or assumes you’ll be hanging out all weekend watching games and doing what he wants. It’s been chipping away at your satisfaction in the relationship, and really bothering you. 

Do what would have you feeling mischievous.  I’m a big fan of speaking the truth with successful delivery (read: no nagging, pouting or any other victim-like approach, but calmly and assuredly).  Many women struggle with this, so chances are if you just nip it in the bud and communicate your need directly you’ll be feeling very mischievous!  What else will have you feeling like you’re game is back on, and on fire?  Take a look at other areas where you might be feeling bored or held back: clear physical clutter, style your hair differently, do that 3 day cleanse you’ve had on your list.

Keep surprising yourself- mischieviously.

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

Stepping outside ‘the box’ in approaching ’big’ things in  life such as love – or job hunting/career changes – health & wealth creation – can seem so daunting and hence, that’s why the majority of us simply DON’T.  And I’m not discluding myself from this majority, either.  Part of the inspiration here for this blog is to share with you that when I have, immediate results came – and miraculously.   Am I consistent with this approach – absolutely not.  But it sure as heck inspires me to step out again and again out of my comfort zone as I look at both my past and my current reality – what’s worked –  and where I want to go being who I want to be. We all have our ‘growth edge’ – coaches too – and that’s why coaches need coaches and CEO’s need coaches.

What’s interesting is that in Timothy Ferriss’ book, The 4 Hour Work Week, which I’m currently reading, he talks about not just thinking outside the box but ACTING outside the box.  I read that this morning, and then during my workout at the gym this morning (so painful in this gorgeous heat wave in SF currently, but necessary…) I saw a segment on the Today show about job hunting in the New Economy and the dire importance of stepping out of your comfort zone.

Whether you’re job hunting or relationship hunting (or looking to create new and impactful results in ANY area of your life such as those mentioned at the start of this post) - results lie in doing it differently.   BE-ING different than you’ve been, and ACTING differently than you have.  As humans we’re creatures of habit, as we all know.  So, it’s important to ‘scare yourself’ – do those actions and that thinking that has you feeling a little out of ‘control’ and also a little *mischievous*.  Yes, mischievous.  With yourself.  See, when you act, think and BE ‘different’ than you’ve been, it can feel thrillingly mischievous, because what you’re doing is busting out of your own box and breaking your own rules.

For example, after a year+ out of corporate work, with my apartment in storage, a failed relationship left in Toronto where I had been playing but not earning or saving -  and,  a uncomfortable bed at my parents – I needed a J-O-B – and fast!  But I wanted to switch industries, AND I didn’t want to take a pay cut for doing so. In fact, I wanted to make more money than I ever had before (I’m sure you can relate).  I interviewed for a great opportunity - and I was intent on getting it.   How could I set myself apart from the competition?   An idea popped in to my head as I wrote a thank you note:  send the note with a roll of scotch tape.  It felt slightly OUT THERE to me.   Why the tape?   The gentleman – and my future bosses boss – that I had just interviewed with, had played with a piece of scotch tape as we talked and apologized to me , saying it was a bad but necessary habit of his. I felt a little mischievous sending the tape -but it worked (and he later coo-berated that it worked). I got the job and earned more than I ever had before, in a new industry. 

Stay tuned for Part 2, and how to be mischievous in love…

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

If you want 1 year of Prosperity, grow Seeds

If you want 10 years of Prosperity, grow Trees

If you want a Lifetime of Prosperity, grow your Self Worth.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Hey Savvy Friends!

When I was on the ABC local talk show,  View From the Bay , last month (if you didn’t see the segment, check it out HERE  ) , I received a lot of feedback on the part of ‘Loving Yourself Up’.   I gave some tips for giving yourself ‘love’ first, before you seek it in dating and relationship.  The segment was geared toward women who are looking to date again after a divorce, but truly, I find that women single and dating,  and women married and in relationship – all modern women – can benefit from more slow down, self-care, and self-love.  

These ideas are all geared toward this New Economy – this isn’t about another shopping spree or Spa Day. Nothing against either, as they can serve a purpose and need, but this goes deeper – and also goes farther.

This is about not just being kind and loving to oneself, but also about bringing creativity and romance to your day-to-day.  From you, to you.  When we gift ourselves in these small and sustainable ways, we actually become more Present. And Softer.  We give ourselves a little romance, and this spills over into how we are with others.  We’re happier, more fulfilled, and open.  We can feel more at peace, and more approachable.

The key in ‘Loving Yourself Up’ is keeping it authtentic to YOU.  Just like some women don’t dig Spa days.  They would rather take a 10 mile hike.  Or comb through antique stores. So the first thing that you must do is begin to get more in touch with what it is that you desire – what is calling you – what would feel really good.

Of course it’s wonderful, exciting and blissful to receive romance and gifts and experience from the men in our lives, or to imagine all that you want from the future man in your life.  But, if we begin to practice giving ourselves some romance, small ’loving acts’, we actually make all that we could receive from a current or future partner all the more juicy and enjoyable.  And, we find that we don’t yearn and long for ‘them’ to do, do, do for us.  Because it’s kind of a well that could never get filled by another.  This kind of love must be attended to by the self.

If you begin by creating romance, beauty and simple luxury in your day , you’ll find that other ideas will pull at you, whether it’s taking a walk to the Farmer’s Market, or cleaning out a closet.

Some things that I do regularly:

-Make sure there are fresh flowers in my bedroom, bathroom & office

-Light candles: reading, hanging out, in the bedroom, or in the bathroom while I’m getting ready to go out in the evening.  When I’m paying bills.

-Play music, as much as possible, wherever I am.  I take my Ipod shopping….and when I vaccuum. 

-Set a pretty place setting for dinner, even for take out.  Enjoy a glass of wine or champagne, or special tea.

-Take my time (and making the time to do so) with my hair & make up – just for me – at least a few times a week, or every day – depending on how I feel.

-In dressing , I consioulsy adorn myself with jewelry & color that I love wearing.

-Taking a bubble bath or an extra-long shower, whenever I can.

So, these are a few things that I incorporate regulary.  What are yours?  I’d love to hear what they are.  If you aren’t doing things to love yourself up, what might they be? 

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I want to share with you something that’s changed my life over these past months.  It’s going to sound super cool to some and really woo-woo to others, I know.

In July 2008, thanks to the suggestion of a longtime friend, I began taking a few ‘Meditation’ courses at www.IntuitiveWay.com.  These classes, she told me, would give me some tools to integrate into my spiritual practice and awareness, and she assured me that they were actually very easy - and fun.   As someone who didn’t meditate, it felt daunting to think about actually going to classes and thinking I could easily integrate a tool into a daily practice.

The bottom line for me today is that these courses and subsequent tools I’ve acquired have changed my life -and for no more than 15 minutes a day of time investment.  And, I can listen to to the ‘Meditation’ in my car – on my Ipod while traveling – in my office – anywhere where you have access to audio, can sit undisturbed and have the privacy or ability to close your eyes. 

People in my life began to take notice of the resulting change within me.  A close friend asked me what I was doing because I seemed more confident and peaceful. After appearing for the first time on live TV (so thrilling!), many asked me if I had received media training  (had not) and told me I looked so at ease during the live segment.  I told those close to me that it was part solid preparation, part extra ‘meditation’. 

This ‘meditation’ is an energy tool.  What it does is clear blocked energy (we all have it), and clears your space (aura) so that you show up more authentically You.  Your energy gets ‘cleaned’ in a way.   See, not only do we ‘take on’ other people’s energy throughout the day (read: that annoying colleague who hangs on like a barnacle, or the stranger who accuses you of nabbing their parking spot), but those close to you in your life can also be ‘plugged in’ (or ‘chorded’) to you – also impacting your energy. 

What happens when we walk around taking on other people’s energy?  We get plugged up, stifled, numb, indecisive, negative, blocked, unhealthy, etc.

The benefits of practicing this energy tool regularly are:

• clarity
• increased energy
• confidence
• ease
• joy
• deeper insight,  intuition
• peace
• authentic direction

So, imagine, my savvy friend,  if you gain more of the above.  What might you experience?  Imagine the possibilites.  I know that by applying this tool to my life, I have been able to say YES to things in my career I may not have before (out of fear) ; NO to things I don’t truly want to be, do or have;  I’ve shifted out of friendships that don’t fit (tough but freeing);   I’ve discerned what is really an issue in my relationship vs. what isn’t (so valuable, especially in a new marriage) –  and the list goes on. And on! ;-)

So much more on this topic (stay tuned).  If this resonatesfor you, and you are curious, send me an email: leslie@belovesavvy.com, and I will be happy to answer additional questions or point you in a direction.  Listen to your savvy voice if it wants to learn more about this (or anything),  it won’t steer you wrong. 

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Friend,

It’s the beginning of April – the start of Spring.

I know that despite the sun and the spring air,  my mind and heart felt the need this morning for some purifying words from Louise Hay.

I wanted to share with you this:

“In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete, and yet life is ever changing.

There is no beginning and no end, only a constant cycling and recycling of substance and experiences.

Life is never stuck, static or stale, for each moment is ever new and fresh.

I am one with the very Power that created me, and this Power has given me the power to create my own circumstances.

I rejoice in the knowledge that I have the power of my own mind to use in any way I choose.

Every moment of life is a new beginning point as we move from the old.

This moment is a new point of beginning for me right here and right now.

All is well in my world.

From my savvy heart  – and mind – to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com