Dear Savvy Woman,

Sometimes I have too many ideas on what to write about.  Today, what kept coming back in to my thoughts was the struggle that we can have when we’re ‘cleaning house’ – making changes – in our lives, because this process and space can be really, really UNCOMFORTABLE at times.  

If you look at this on the level of the world – ie. our Global Economy, and our national ‘j-0-b’ market, there’s been a lot of ‘cleaning house’ – hasn’t there?  A forced cleaning. And we, right now, are sitting in that uncomfortable place, watching to see what’s created as our economy slowly rebounds and with that, Corporate America begins to respond and begins to hire again.

In a similar fashion, yet often by choice, we as individuals have to say ‘NO’ to things to create the space for the ‘YES’s to arrive in our lives.  Sometimes that’s a person, place or thing.  AND, what I know to be true, is that we also have to look within.  We must also look at who we are BE-ing , and who we want to BEcome, in order to create the powerful shifts and results that our hearts and minds seek.  So, we have to create space by looking at ways of being within ourselves that no longer serve who we are becoming – and want to become.

For instance, a woman desires a relationship. She’s been alone for a while. She’s ready. On some level, whether conscious or unconscious, she gathers what she would absolutely love to experience in this relationship – and in life within this relationship (the YES).  Because she’s lonely, she still hooks up occasionallywithan old boyfriend, and she dates men that reveal to her red flags out the gate – and qualities that don’t align with what she desires in a partner.  The most important aspect of this behavior, though, is that she feels less-than as a result.  She’s not receiving what she desires, yet she’ll *continue* to keep company with them because the NEW hasn’t arrived, despite feeling less-than after the rendez-vous or disappointment within herself after she accepts a third date request from a mulitple red-flag guy.

It can be so difficult sometimes to say the ‘NO’ (no more…), especially when the ‘ante’ feels raised like  the example above = a longed-for relationship.

And, we can’t grow if we don’t get uncomfortable.  I use to see my own discomfort as a signal that perhaps I was heading down the wrong path.  Today I am well aware that growth – and creating what we want in life – can have times of discomfort.  Our discomfort is often a very important SIGN that we are creating space for NEW. That we’re ‘on-track’!

Here are a few things to keep in mind as you navigate this process and the sometimes-discomfort:

-  Notice if a person, place or thing feels ‘negative’, or that you might feel depleted or negative upon leaving them, it, or after a behavior of your own (like saying Yes to other’s when you want to say No).   If the answer is s a YES, then it needs to be a NO.  But what’s around the corner?  Your NO to what’s in front of you will light the way.  It’s a leap of Faith, and it will pay off in spades.

- Remember that there is a YES behind your NO – the Yes to yourself and what you’re creating.  This is huge for riding the wave of discomfort as you stay true to yourself. For example, you’ve decided that you’re not going to pursue interviewing in a particular industry (every time you do you get a big NO inside – you know it’s no longer a fit for you in a huge way).  But it’s really uncomfortable, for many reasons: a) you need a job b) it’s really easy to get interviews in this field c) your ego gets stroked because you’re experienced d) all of the above.    REMEMBER THE YES.   The YES here may be the 10+ year longed-for career change into the area that those close to you say they can see you in, and more importantly you know on some level you belong in.  The YES here is about saying YES to your dreams.  Keeping you healthier and happier. 

-Be really, REALLY kind and gentle to yourself along the way.  Self-love.  It’s the elixir of life.  The more we are accepting, nurturing, and trusting of ourselves, the easier life flows before us.  If you’re a big bad-talker of yourself, stop NOW.  Words are huge, especially those we say silently to ourselves = our thoughts.   So, be kind.  No one can love you better, nor create the life of your dreams. 

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

This is always something that is “up” for me, and it’s in the middle of my work with clients.  It’s responsible for the results that we receive in our lives.  Our minds.  Our thinking.  What we allow in.  The nutrients that we feed it.

You’ve seen me write a lot about mind-set, and my clients experience my focus on it in our work together.  I recently re-read some old journals from years back, and low and behold – as I worked on shifting out of corporate and ending a toxic relationship with a boyfriend, along with attracting more opportunity into my life – what was changing within me was my mind-set.  What makes all the difference with this is sustainability.  Protecting your focus, your intentions, your vision and your thinking.

Ways to do this:

1. Surround yourself with like-minded people, and decrease time with the rest.

2. Keep your environment positive, including what you listen to (audios instead of random radio) and what you read.

3. Take time to connect to your vision – your desires – your dreams – EVERYDAY (see a prior blog post on Mind Movies).

4. Do whatever it takes to BELIEVE. You must have belief.  Fear and doubt are everywhere, and they destroy the thinking and mind-set that’s required to live the life of your dreams.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com