Dear Savvy Friend,

It’s the beginning of April – the start of Spring.

I know that despite the sun and the spring air,  my mind and heart felt the need this morning for some purifying words from Louise Hay.

I wanted to share with you this:

“In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete, and yet life is ever changing.

There is no beginning and no end, only a constant cycling and recycling of substance and experiences.

Life is never stuck, static or stale, for each moment is ever new and fresh.

I am one with the very Power that created me, and this Power has given me the power to create my own circumstances.

I rejoice in the knowledge that I have the power of my own mind to use in any way I choose.

Every moment of life is a new beginning point as we move from the old.

This moment is a new point of beginning for me right here and right now.

All is well in my world.

From my savvy heart  – and mind – to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Navigating the dating-relationship waters can be tricky – no doubt.  A past coaching client called me for an emergency coaching session (I do one-time assessments/S.o.S sessions, so you can contact me here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/contact.htm and indicate ASAP) today.

The net of her issue was that she’s in a relationship of about 6 months and she was starting to feel uncomfortable, namely with them feeling like they’re on ‘autopilot’ with some things (like making plans)  – and – an awareness within herself that some anxiety was stemming from a few previous relationships she’d had that went south. Something was feeling vaguely familiar. Again.  Was it her fear of a ‘repeat’, or was it in actuality, a current issue with ‘John’. It’s difficult to know, and what helps is to address what’s true about the current situation and take it from there.

The net of our coaching session came to this: what was true for ‘Jane’ was that she needed to get more of her needs met – namely, to know generally what their weekend plans were and to have John take a more proactive role in that. And here’s the catch: She must communicate with John in a way that both empowers her (she’s given her power over by waiting for John’s schedule and/or taking it day by day – which is irritating her) as well as honors the relationship and John.

Jane: Well, I guess I’ll tell John that I want to know our plans much more ahead of time.  I’ll have to check in with him each week and ask him when his ball practice is, and if he plans to golf with his friends this weekend. 

Me: Do you know what is so sexy, alluring and attractive to a man?

Jane: No, what? Oh, wait. I think I know where you’re going.  Maybe the ‘telling’ John will be to just schedule some back-to-back girls week-ends, just to show him that I and my time matters!! He’ll see what I mean.

Me:Actually, where I’m going here is that a man finds a woman who claims what she wants for herself, unapologetically and kindly – very, very ATTRACTIVE.  Not as a spoiled child, or a controlling, frightened or nagging adult – but – as a woman who addresses what is true for her while keeping respect and love flowing toward her man.

Here is some sample dialogue of how to tailor an approach when communicating – going from ‘Nagging or Victim Girlfriend’ and ‘Pseudo-Mom’ to ‘Sexy, Attraction-rich, In-Control-and-Loving -Vixen’:

Me (as Jane):  Hi sweetie (sitting down in person), can we talk about something for a second (is this a good time to talk)?

John: Sure, what’s up?

Part 2 – to be continued….

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

A fun and creative way to build a new and compelling  (and ongoing) Vision for yourself is by creating a Vision Box.  Inspired by an exercise in the book ‘Ask & It is Given’ (Hicks), I built one for myself and then introduced it to attendees at my Savvy Woman’s Boot Camp.  It was a huge hit.

See, we all need a Vision that  pulls us forward – without one we can stay stuck and status quo.

Here’s what you need:

A plain or decorative box (shoe box works great)

Decorative wrapping (if you are making your own, ie. shoe box)

Magazines & Scissors

Blank Paper or Flash Cards & colorful pens

Uninterrupted Time

Bonus: Background music, candles, tea or gl. of wine

Take the time to create a comfortable and relaxed state for this, at a time when you are feeling positive and good. Browse through magazines, clipping images and words that exemplify desires you hold.  Don’t sensor yourself.  Next, write down words and statements that reflect what you want to bring into your life.  The sky is the limit with this, and yet listen to what’s authentically appealing and desiring for you.  This can be words like ‘JOY’  ‘Excellent Health’  ‘FUN!’  and statements such as ‘Money easily and effortlessly flows to me’ and ‘I am in a vibrant, reciprocal and loving relationship’. 

And don’t forget any ‘Lists’.  A list of qualities for a new job, a new relationship, or a new home.  Put these in there.

Put this box in your line of sight in room in your home or office, and as you see things that you’d like for your life, drop them in.  You are stating to yourself and to the Universe what you want, and putting it in the box makes it so.  It already ‘is’.  Focusing on what you WANT raises your vibration to attract it in to your life.  ”The more you put into your box, the more the Universe will deliver other ideas to you that match them”, per Hicks.

One benefit of the Box versus a collage or Vision Board is that it’s private.  Place a beautiful box in your space and no one has to know what’s in it – it’s just for you – unless you choose to share.

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

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Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m writing after a short sabbatical due to a divine week spent on the Big Island.  Sweet and simple time spent with my husband & relatives brought me much rest and relaxation, all in a backdrop of beautiful feminine energy that the Hawaiian Islands hold.  I am so grateful for the experience, and I’m learning to receive these without any apology (something I’m still working on, but getting much better with ;-))!

Here’s a shot of the gorgeous and magical coastline that we viewed our first day:

I especially loved hearing the word ‘Mahalo’ spoken this past week.  I’ve been to the islands before, but for some reason this word stood out to me much more on this visit. I looked up the definition and understood why:

[Ma = In] + [hâ = breath] + [alo = presence, front, face]
“(May you be) in (Divine) Breath.”

Mahalo is a sacred word, and it ‘acknowledges the Divinity that dwells within and without’.

I work with women individually and in groups to do just this. To remember their divine essence, and to let go of all that holds them back from living their heart’s desires. One way this has been channeled this past year  in my  work with Be Love Savvy is helping women attract a partner … a soul mate.  When women remember their divine essence, their Mahalo, all the blocks and self-sabatoging behavior falls away. 

I want to remind you, Savvy Woman, that if you are someone desiring that special someone to come into your life, taking the Mahalo approach is the way to go.  It’s counter-intuitive, I know.  I can’t tell you how many women come to me soley wanting to know ‘strategy’ that looks a lot like The Rules book.  I’m a huge advocate of strategy, however mine is more of the strategy of soul.  It’s the one that won’t steer you wrong. 

Soaking up blissful simplicity in the divine Big Island and wrapping myself up in one big Mahalo brought me back to center, and reminded me of the importance of my work. Assisting women to arrive back to their (ever expanding within) center and live their heart’s desires is such rewarding work for me – i still pinch myself that I’m blogging, speaking and coaching women around this topic.   And I love leading by example.

Mahalo!

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

My Office

Dear Savvy Woman,

Here’s a picture that I recently took of my office.  Isn’t it pretty, clean and simple ? ;-)  I like things that way!  Notice the big candles in my fireplace. These are to remind me to slow down, and to bring softness and spirit to my workspace. 

The big gold box on the left of the mantle is my Magical Creation Box. I’m going to tell you more about how to make yours in an upcoming post…stay tuned.  The women at my Love & Success Boot Camp last week *loved* making theirs!

The big gold frame (gold, a fav of mine, is a very creative hue, by the way! Not to mention it’s gorgeous & luxurious…) on the right that you see holds a Letter of Gratitude that I wrote to the Universe (see my Dec ’08 blog posts for instructions here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/blog, and  write yours for this year!).    I can’t help but stop and read it regularly because of it’s massive presence in my space.

This space is part of my physical environment – my office where I spend a considerable amount of time.  But I write not just about physical environment, I also want to highlight that our emotional and spiritual environments are tremendous in shaping our experience.   How are yours working for you?

I  repeat this often to clients and to myself: You are the average of the 5 people that you surround yourself with. Who do you hang out with the most, either in person or in cyber space?   Be sure to make conscious choices.   We spent a lot of time on this at the recent Boot Camp event and it is both daunting and exhilarating, because we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge.  As creatures of habit, we can get use to environments that don’t serve us and our destiny of Well-Being.   Daunting, it can be, because the reminder is there that we are always at choice.

What will you choose?

Be sure to create environments that hold you in your values and support your highest good and desires.  Start small, grabbing the low-hanging ‘fruit’ to pick off.  In your physical environment, sometimes we just need a clearing out of the build-up = papers, magazines, unused items.  In our emotional and spiritual, we might need to taper down contact with a draining relative,  or let go of friendships (with love) that don’t feel supportive or have mutuality.  And sometimes we find we are in a relationship with a man (a large part of our environment) that isn’t the right partner.  

Here is to continuing to create our environments with love.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

The Feeling of a Pure Desire Feels Good To You

“Unfortunately, many people think that the uncomfortable feeling of wanting something they do not expect to experience is what the feeling of desire is;  they no longer recognize the feeling of pure desire as that fresh, eager, feeling of expectancy that they knew when they were younger.  The feeling of pure desire is always delicious, as it represents the vibrations that are stretched out before you into your unseen future, preparing the way for the Law of Attraction to match things up on your behalf.”

-Ask & It is Given: Learning to manifest your Desires, by Esther & Jerry Hicks

From my savvy & desiring heart, to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Almost as good (depending on personal preference) as receiving Daily Candy is receiving a Daily Affirmation.  Imagine FREE Coaching, just dropped into your Inbox every morning, before you wipe your eyes and slip out of bed to start the day.

It’s actually a great ‘structure’ (coach speak for ritual, or place holder) for me to center my thoughts and myself as I get into my day.  Some days, when I’m really tired, stressed or some other version of not feeling my Best Self,  I reach over for my Blackberry after waking up and scroll to find the Daily Affirmation.  It gets the party started on those days.  I value this little structure so much I’m inspired to add it on to my website for those who want to sign up and receive daily thoughts from Moi.

I happened upon Laura Fenamore’s site when I met her at CTI, the coaching school I attended, and I’ve been receiving her daily messages for years now.

Passing on the love with today’s brilliant message….

Today I release any feelings I have to compete with others or compare myself to others knowing that that leads me to pain not joy (which is what I really want).

So true.  As I say to my clients often, “comparison kills”.   It kills your mind-set and potentially, your self-esteem.  And it kills romance in dating and relationship.  It kills the energy & opportunity for connecting on a first date.  Even if it’s never acted on, but just sits…lingering in your thoughts.  

Here is to your Unique Brilliance. 

And to Joy. 

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

We get bombarded with ideas on how to be sexy, and there’s a tremendous amount of pressure put upon us.  The right hair, clothes, lingerie…these can all contribute to feeling and looking sexy -no doubt.  And, there’s also SO MUCH to tap into that you already embody and own.  Sometimes we just forget, or we get ideas in our heads of ‘all that we should or have to do’ to be Sexy.  Not true. 

The thing is, there are SO many ways that you can connect to your essence and bring out the natural, feminine glow  = Sexy glow , that you’re designed to exude in a quick, simple, and no-cost way.  As I write this, I realized that I left the biggest one off my list : self-pleasure. 

Absolutely, do this on a regular basis.  It doesn’t cost anything, and it’s quick (if it’s not, you can discover how to be!)  Aside from that, I’ve listed here some things that work for me and my clients, to shift out of ‘Do-mode’ and drop into ‘Be-ing’. Drop into Sexy.

You’re date picks up your energy.  We can tell when someone is stressed, uptight, insecure, or rushed.   What does it do to us?  It puts us off.  We get uncomfortable.    This isn’t what you want to exhibit or contribute on a date.  Our society might value this do-do-do, ‘make it happen’-lifestyle, but if you’re looking to connect with a guy and find a great intimate relationship, you have to invite that in.

You might wonder how some of these add to your Sexy-factor, but trust me, they do. Sexy isn’t sexy unless it’s authentic.  We can tell when some one’s trying to hard. Despite going through the ‘right’ motions, it ends up being repelling, isn’t it? 

These are simple, quick, and low-to-zero cost:

• Step into a pair of gorgeous, sexy heels and wear them as you’re getting ready in the morning.
• Put an extra 5 minutes beyond ’normal’ to tend to your appearance in the morning: make-up, style your hair, put on body lotion, perfume. Care and attention makes you feel beautiful to YOU, and others pick up that energy.
• Make a conscious effort to walk just a little slower – with body awareness - and smile at everyone you pass by, even if you don’t feel like it.  Fake it til you make it, if necessary.  It will work.
• Light candles and play your favorite music for yourself as you prepare to go out.  Seduce yourself.
• Add to your outfit with a hint of color, jewelry, different shoes – before segueing from office -to – date.  This tells yourself, and your date, that the work hat is off – you’re back to being a soft and receptive woman. 
• Take 5 minutes to relax before running to your date straight from work.  Take some deep breathes, paint your nails, listen to music on your Ipod.  Notice the sunset or watch the rain.  Get out of your head and become more present to yourself and who you engage with.
• Focus on who you are authentically BEING with your date.  Be interested. Be open. Be yourself. Be present to simply what is – you’re connecting with another human being – not on ‘what may be’. 
• Slow down.  Slow your mind.  Slow down how you move.  Slow your speech.  This relaxes you & whoever you’re with.  It creates room for more presence & is very inviting.
• Take the pressure off.  The more present you stay to yourself and to your date, the more opportunity there is to notice if there is a connection.  Stop sizing him up, sizing yourself up, future-thinking.
• Mix it up.  I notice a lot of singles have ‘their place’ for meeting dates – same bar, restaurant, coffee shop.  Vary it.  Don’t get in too much of a routine for convenience-sake.  It can impact the energy for both yourself and the date you’re going on.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Yesterday was one of those days for me…a low energy day.  Not only was I on the tired side, but I was feeling low-vibe.   In Law of Attraction-speak, this is death in an Attraction-based Universe.  I fully subscribe to this, as I have witnessed this Universal principle at work (both ‘positively’ and ‘negatively’) in my own life.   So, come evening last night, I knew I needed to raise my vibration.  

Thankfully, I slowed down enough to listen to my intuition and play a video a FB friend had sent me from Esther Hicks -a message from Abraham.  After watching the video, I felt myself feel a little lighter.   I sent it to a few clients and to a few friends.  I felt a little more light.   My husband came into the room to hang out with me, and I engaged with him from this uplifted place (and he was low-vibing himself with little sleep and a cold), feeling inspired by the witnessing what was happening within myself – and feeling all the more lighter.

Having fallen out from my morning & daily routine (morning reading/writing and daily doses of inspiration/teachings of spiritual and Universal principles) and my exercise routine, not to mention healthy eating, I was feeling a bit depleted.  The holidays came and I jumped on the carpet ride for a week or two – a fun one but getting off had me feeling off-kilter.

So, my savvy friends, I sat down this morning to a cup of coffee and Esther and Jerry Hicks “Ask & It is Given” before my workout.   I soaked up some pages and felt like I had been reunited with an old friend, and made a mental note to blog this little gem to you today, to share the love.

And that is, “When you think about the WHY you want something, you usually soften resistance, but when you think about the WHEN or HOW or WHO, you often add resistance, especially if you do not already know the answers to those questions.”

Resistance is that low-energy, low-vibe state….it manifests as negative feelings, and results in the bad behavior or avoidance that we do that depletes our energy and well-being, rather than adding to it.  So, to guage if you are resisting, notice how you are feeling.  This is the Attraction-Dial. You crank up the dial and increase your vibration and Attraction by up-ing your feelings.  Low and negative feelings attract like-results in people and situations.  Like attracts like in Attraction.

Keep going back to the WHY as you write those 2009 intentions, goals and dreams.   Focusing on the HOW, WHO or WHEN can shut you down, and shut off the valve of feel-good vibes that up your Attraction levels.

As far as the WHO, WHEN, HOW,  maintain a framework of expectation, and let go of the fixation.   Focusing on these only invite doubt and fear to join you, resulting in low-vibe, same results experiences.  As we take inspired actions, these things unfold without us needing to attempt to CONTROL or ORCHESTRATE them – we can’t.   However, YES, we must mingle inspired actions with this focus of the outcome, keeping in touch with the WHY – what these new experiences and changes will bring to us  – how they will add to our well-being.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Yes, I did mean futured.

What is futured, you ask?

You’ve been there.  You’re on a date with ‘Joe’, a first date.  Joe not only shows up on time, with flowers, and takes you to a lovely restaurant for dinner and a bottle of wine, but that’s just the beginning.  Even if you’re date-deprived and loving the gestures, you haven’t even begun to “Mr. Right?” him, believe it or not.  Until…

Joe futures you.“Have you been to Yosemite?…We rent a huge house there every Fall, we’ll have to go on one of the week-ends I’ll have it to myself – it’s s000 nice to jacuzzi after a long hike.  I can’t wait to take you there.”  You are now noticing, between bites of steak and sips of Zinfandel, that your mind wanders to imagine how he’ll fit in with your family, what travel you can do first, perhaps even if you’ll have the same taste on your registry.

I think many of us who do (or have done, in our lives) our fair share of dating have been here -  yes?

I recall a specific guy that I dated , and our first date.  WOW – did he future me.  Talks of trips, the fact that we both fantasized about living in Spain – it went on and on.  And – guess what?   I WAS HOOKED.  The following 6 weeks were like I was under some sort of spell.  Things went fast – and then crashed and burned. 

I write this as a friendly reminder.  Beware of being futured.  The smartest and savviest of women can – and do - fall prey. 

Tips to stay conscious and futured-aware:

-  Proof is in the Pudding – make this your rule:  Keep control of the pace that feels right to you, and by this I mean the pace of your mind, specifically.  For starters, dismiss any ideas of future vacations/children’s eye color until you are well on your way to having an exclusive relationship (AND/OR month 2)!

I’m all for romance and getting a little carried away (that’s part of the fun) – but never risk more than you are willing to lose.  

- Let him know:  There’s nothing wrong with a retort that let’s him know you won’t fall for being futured.  “You haven’t met my 5 cats yet – and I don’t let them meet just anyone. ”  Show that you have perspective, and delivered with a little humor keeps things light.

Great guys can fall prey to this: they get excited too, and may be unconscious of this tendancy. Yet,  some are preditors only after one thing.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com