Oh how I’ve missed sharing my thoughts on this blog!  For those of you who subscribe and read, please know that I’ve felt a huge wide gap in my life in not connecting with you…it’s so nice to be back. ;-)

Where have I been? Well, I intentionally took about six months off from writing this blog and writing articles for my business.  It kind of happened organically, but there was also a deeper intention set beforehand by me as well. Intentions are what create our lives, and relationships, and so it was interesting to witness how this one played out for me, because sometimes I move so fast I can forget that I’m aware of an intention being set.  I do believe that we all hold our own answers – we just need to quiet down, listen, trust, and then simply (ha!) act on them. And get help when we need it with that process.  

So a trusted mentor suggested taking some time away from the writing and marketing, and not doing these things ‘publically’.  I  had started to feel like I was on a train that I wasn’t sure I wanted to be on, and maybe the destination wasn’t exactly for me anymore.  I felt the need to do something different.  And then there was also my relationship – my marriage – and some bumps in the road that were beginning to feel painful. We were needing some transformation.

It felt right in my heart to take the suggestion, even though I didn’t want to. And ‘logical’ thinking would argue the choice. But I pulled away from my established blogging & marketing routine, and channelled that energy into personal writing, healing, and new studies.

Cocoons are often necessary for growth.  This time for me was really that of ‘cocoon-ing up’ in some ways. Life still carried on and I still worked with clients, but the departure from the approach I had been taking and some time channeling that energy in new directions was incredibly transformative for me.  I feel like a new woman in some ways, and it’s really exciting and humbling, because it’s largely been a process of letting go.  I still have my training wings on – and do they ever actually come off?

I wanted to share my process with you  (and will be sharing more) because it’s so important, especially right now, at this time on our planet. Things are in a massive shift right now on just about every level. We are being demanded to change.  I know first hand how much resistance comes up when we desire new results – or desperately need them – but resist taking new actions, a new approach.  We don’t listen to that inner voice. We’re afraid of losing the validation and security that we’ve come to know by the roles that we play, with our life as we’ve come to know it.   Most of us are so conditioned by our society to ‘do’ and to ‘attain’ , that especially, if we have the yearning to change, or take some *intentional* time doing something different – or maybe nothing (intentionally ;-0) – we freak out, and resort to just crossing our fingers that things will work out eventually (or stay in victim-mode and play the blame game!)

Change can be so painful, and that’s why we resist it.   And, we’ve been raised to want and demand the ‘proof’ – the answers – the security, before we take any risk to change.  It takes risk and new actions to become who we are meant to be, and experience what we so desire in our hearts to experience.  I obviously need to remind myself  of this by reminding you.

Here’s some inner & outer work for you – take out your journal and write down your thoughts to:

What are you deeply desiring to change about the way you relate to life, and the people and things in it?  Get curious about the way you *relate* to being single, your partner, your work, your body.

Do you stay too busy and ignore your much-needed self-care?  Do you keep relationships in your life that don’t mirror and honor the love, beauty and brilliance in you?  Are you even able to *feel* and own those qualities in yourself?  (If you don’t, how can you expect someone else to?)

Now for an easy outer first step. Get to a quiet and grounded place within yourself, and then ask yourself what’s calling you – what would feel nurturing and healing for you to do – or not do?   Then, take action. Eliminate an energy drain – a person, dreaded event, messy room.  Next, schedule a nourishing activity: walk, bath, yoga class, massage. The magic is in the follow-through!

Much love,

Leslie

Dear Savvy Woman,

If you’re watching ‘The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love’  did you catch last week’s Girls Tell All segment? I just got to it over the weekend.  Here’s what I find to be a few great love and relationship insights (I’ll bypass the drama) from two of the season’s favorite ladies:

First, Gia’s ability to see that she was able to open her heart more from being on the show, and her clear intention that she shares on the segment to express herself and open herself even more to love with the next guy.

I loved that!  The ability to see the gap between who you were and who you are now – as the result of taking new actions and risks – is HUGE, whether it be in love, or anything else.   Often as a coach I notice stuck energy and repeated patterns holding a client back due to their inability to brush themselves off, pat themselves on the back for trying, and move on with clear intentions- and a smile.  Gia exemplifies this so well, and here’s the thing: energy doesn’t lie. If you watched this you really GOT that she meant what she says, vs. some of the other women who are coached to be light and say the right things…and you GET that they’re not really aligned with it.  This is what we pick up on from each other when we’re meeting, dating and relating…

And , if you watched this, didn’t you love some of the realizations/statements from Ali?  First, she stated that she believes that ‘our lives are defined by the risks that we take.’   Hearing this makes you sit back and assess how much you’re stepping out in your life and risking , doesn’t it? Me too!  Heck, we all get complacent and comfortable.  And Ali’s comfort zone was in her work, as she shared.  She said that she often would hide out in work to avoid feeling her feelings. Can you relate? I can!  I can also relate to hiding out in a relationship in order to avoid work! Or myself!  I hope she’s really proud of herself for taking the huge risk of  going on the show…

Ali leaves the show by making the decision to keep her job versus lose it to stay in the running and potentially get a ring from the Bachelor, Jake.  She shares on this segment that she regretted this…that she would have ideally gotten the ring, and then if necessary, ‘fought like hell to get my job back.’   Hindsight is a b*tch, isn’t it. Ali states her awareness of the fact that she should be as serious and committed to finding love as she has been to her career.  I’m sure many watching could relate to her wanting to hang on to her beloved job (and apartment), and the wish that if the love between she and Jake were this real, he’d come get her back!  Why can’t we have it all, right?  This is a show, of course, with Jake also professing to be in love with several other women competing.  In the real world, sans the show’s requirements and distractions, perhaps Jake would have done just that. 

I believe that we can have it all, but sometimes not all at the same time.  Sometimes the job might have to take a back burner, your personal time might have to adjust some for love, and you must get out of your comfort zone if you want to create some magic in life.  And other times, it will be your guy and your yummy-time takes a back burner for career and personal demands. We want it all, but we resist changing  anything (important, or habitual) in order to have it!

What do you think? 

To your love,

XO

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Like what you read? Get more authentic dating, love and relationship tips by signing up for my newsletter. It’s totally free. Check it out HERE.

Dear Savvy Woman,

Whether you’re single, married or dating – no matter what the status of you’re relationship, no doubt the tool of Visualizing will change your life – it has mine.  Over, and over, and over again (it works wonders when I’m in an argument with my love).

Visualizing is one of the most powerful things that you can do to create change and bridge your reality over to the place of your dreams. Dating the wrong men? In an unhappy relationship?  Is your marriage suffering? Are you simply feeling dried up and exhausted? Not only has this done wonders for me in my love life, but I can look at other important things in my life -  changing careers, giving important presentations at work, working to get in shape at the gym, and even a most recent television appearance – and the success of these all were the result of a  common denominator: Visualizing.

Years ago when I was between boyfriends, a very wise & savvy friend and I were talking about love and live, and she struck a chord with me when she asked me to ‘feel in’ to what I wanted in a relationship.  ‘Picture in your mind the two of you hanging out – what are you doing together?’  Then I was even more blown away when she again asked me to feel in to (through a Vision – a picture in my mind) things like the way we communicated  – to identify what the feeling-tone was of that – fiery? Clear? Soft & cozy? Expansive & accepting?   

Months before I met my husband, I surprised myself when I was talking with producers of the reality show, “How To Get The Guy’ that was being filmed in San Francisco (but that’s a story for another blog) , and in our discussion it came to my awareness that I had held this Vision in my mind of my future  husband and I having black & white photographs hung in our hallway, particularly of us with our baby.  Now, I wasn’t a girl who had lots of specifics as to details of what her future life would look like, but that image popped up and had served – in some ways unbeknownst to me – as a guide post as I dated. Today Larry and I do have some black and whites of us hung in our hallway, and I smile as I connect the dots back to my Vision.

Another very powerful personal example on Visioning : I spent time one weekend by myself – my first trip with no companion and not work-related – walking the beach in Del Mar, CA and soaking up the gorgeous hotel and pool I was staying at. I journaled, I walked , I shopped – it was a healing time for me after a relationship ended and I had left a job to pursue a coaching career.  I walked the beach every day and visualized my future life – specifically my future husband and marriage. I felt into (via a vision) our communication, how we spent time, the energy of him – and of us.  Unbeknownst to Larry, he proposed to me on that very beach, under the Moonlight, less than 2 years later (but who was counting?).  This still gives me the chills and sweetly reminds me how we live in a magical Universe, if we can only remember to see it that way and Believe.

I’m so passionate about this powerful tool and I teach my clients to use it successfully in their own lives.  It’s so simple, it can be quick and it’s *Free* to boot.  What more could you love about a tool that expands your reality and allows your dreams to unfold, seemingly effortlessly? (Stay tuned for Pt. 2 of this blog where I’ll speak more to this last statement)

Here’s some steps to the “How”:

1. Choose a Visioning medium that comes most easiest for you to ensure regular use & success.   Is it playing a ‘mind movie’? Is it making a Vision box or board?  Is it writing it down?  Maybe all three – but whatever you do, decide to do it, begin, and tap into it regularly – even for just a minute or two.

2. You must shut down your thinking/ego mind while you’re doing this.  That’s the mind that has you perhaps looking to poke holes in this concept, to censure what you’re visioning, to tell you you’re doing it ‘wrong’.   THERE IS NO WRONG WAY. Trust your inner guidance.

3. Get yourself into a relaxed state for a few minutes before you begin steps 1 and 2.  Listen to a favorite song first, laugh at a funny show or joke, move your body.  Get your energy flowing downstream to open up creativity and connect to your inner navigation system – your heart & energy system – that connects easily to Truth and the magical Universe.

Stay tuned for Part 2 – what is ‘happening’ when we regularly Vision & how does this help us take inspired action?  

With love and Universal blessings,

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com