Dear Savvy Woman,

Continued from Part 1, this is the mock-conversation between Jane and John.

Me (Jane) : I’ve noticed that we seem to not plan our time together as well these days (and it’s making me CRAZY – but i’m not going to say that part).  I want to be sure I can see you on weekends, and yet also not miss opportunities to see friends.  I’m wondering, how would it work for you (notice there’s no force to control or command) if we check in Tue or Wed in the week and see what’s up for the weekend?

John: Yeah, sure – of course.  I’m sorry. I know I’ve been last-minute lately – I’ve just been all-consumed at work.  I want to be spending time with you.

Me (Jane): That’s OK, I could tell, and yet I also know myself, and I don’t want to this to get in the way of our relationship. (This shows respect and kindness  toward him AND also subtly and powerfully declares what’s important to her, and what she won’t put up with!)

John: I don’t either – you are too special and I want to make sure you’re happy!

Now, the alternative that my client felt a knee-jerk to do (and I SO get it, I’ve done it myself) – due to feeling both defensive and rejected – was to book time with friends and make herself unavailable.  This at times can be called for – not so much to play games but to make sure you are investing in your friendships and making plans so you don’t resent him when he doesn’t ask to see you Friday night, or beyond.

Jane is very invested in the relationship – they already have conversations about living together and weddings – so the choice for her to make that would guarantee growth for herself and the relationship was to communicate in a way that was both authentic to her and respectful of her man.  Although she felt she’d get some reward from a ‘sting’ back to him as she felt slightly hurt and neglected, she decided to approach the conversation honoring her needs but not coming from a blaming or nagging place – neither being very attractive or sexy.

Here’s a  review of the How’s:  

• Ask if it’s a good time to talk
• Address what you need by claiming what it is, without any blame, threats or drama – and offering up a solution
• Approach with a positive and self-posessed energy – you are loving, kind and UNAPPOLOGETIC in the conversation

Why it’s Sexy & Attractive:

• It’s clean, clear and drama-free
• Men DO appreciate solutions and guidance on what makes their woman happy- this makes it EASY for them to deliver!
• Being honest and direct about what you need & want shows CONFIDENCE – very, very SEXY!
• Using kindness and not manipulation preserves their self-respect and respect in your eyes

It can take a little courage and vulnerabilty - depending on the situation or state – but it’s well, well worth it.   And you can’t lose – if it’s ill-received, it only shows you more about the person you’re spending time and energy on.  Valuable all the way around!

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

If I boil down everything that I have learned through personal experience , study , and years of work with clients – in manifesting desires and creating the life of one’s dreams – it all comes down to one word:  BELIEVE.

Believe it’s possible.   Believe you can go where you haven’t gone before. Believe you can have what you desire (if you couldn’t, it wouldn’t manifest within you as a desire in the first place).  Believe you can start again.  Believe you can reinvent yourself – over and over and over. 

One powerful way to harness Belief is to IMAGINE.  It’s actually imperative to tap into your imagination to create new desires, to raise your vibration to match those desires by way of Believing It’s Possible, Imagining yourself Being, Doing, and Having said desires as if they’ve arrived in your life,  and Expecting them to be on their way to you.   

By tapping into Imagination ,  Belief becomes more of a reality and replaces older vibrations of negative thoughts, doubt, fear and judgments.  

Without belief, we get more of the same.  We prove ourselves right - “It’s not possible to meet a soulmate’ because we didn’t BELIEVE.   Whatever we believe to be true, we naturally scan for evidence to support ourselves – and we will be successful.

Without tapping into your IMAGINATION, it’s challenging to create and harness Belief.

IMAGINE yourself with your man, as if he has already arrived in your life  (if he hasn’t already) – what are you doing together?  How does it FEEL – feeling into the vision and image creates a new vibration within you and is very powerful.  We often stumble all over the ‘details’ and what’s much more important here is to FEEL into the energy of the connection.  The Universe takes care of the details, and knows better than you what’s in your highest good – brown hair vs. ‘silver fox’ doesn’t make a relationship ( I know! :)) Allow yourself to let go of superficial details, and tap into the feeling-tone of how you feel with him.

Imagine living the life of your desires.  What are you doing?  Who are you doing it with?  What does it FEEL like? 

Write it down.  Play a Movie in your mind (see my prior blog posting on Mind Movies – create one within your imagination – it’s FREE).   Create a Vision Board. 

Believe me – these all work.

IMAGINE…

From my savvy heart to yours,

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Yesterday was one of those days for me…a low energy day.  Not only was I on the tired side, but I was feeling low-vibe.   In Law of Attraction-speak, this is death in an Attraction-based Universe.  I fully subscribe to this, as I have witnessed this Universal principle at work (both ‘positively’ and ‘negatively’) in my own life.   So, come evening last night, I knew I needed to raise my vibration.  

Thankfully, I slowed down enough to listen to my intuition and play a video a FB friend had sent me from Esther Hicks -a message from Abraham.  After watching the video, I felt myself feel a little lighter.   I sent it to a few clients and to a few friends.  I felt a little more light.   My husband came into the room to hang out with me, and I engaged with him from this uplifted place (and he was low-vibing himself with little sleep and a cold), feeling inspired by the witnessing what was happening within myself – and feeling all the more lighter.

Having fallen out from my morning & daily routine (morning reading/writing and daily doses of inspiration/teachings of spiritual and Universal principles) and my exercise routine, not to mention healthy eating, I was feeling a bit depleted.  The holidays came and I jumped on the carpet ride for a week or two – a fun one but getting off had me feeling off-kilter.

So, my savvy friends, I sat down this morning to a cup of coffee and Esther and Jerry Hicks “Ask & It is Given” before my workout.   I soaked up some pages and felt like I had been reunited with an old friend, and made a mental note to blog this little gem to you today, to share the love.

And that is, “When you think about the WHY you want something, you usually soften resistance, but when you think about the WHEN or HOW or WHO, you often add resistance, especially if you do not already know the answers to those questions.”

Resistance is that low-energy, low-vibe state….it manifests as negative feelings, and results in the bad behavior or avoidance that we do that depletes our energy and well-being, rather than adding to it.  So, to guage if you are resisting, notice how you are feeling.  This is the Attraction-Dial. You crank up the dial and increase your vibration and Attraction by up-ing your feelings.  Low and negative feelings attract like-results in people and situations.  Like attracts like in Attraction.

Keep going back to the WHY as you write those 2009 intentions, goals and dreams.   Focusing on the HOW, WHO or WHEN can shut you down, and shut off the valve of feel-good vibes that up your Attraction levels.

As far as the WHO, WHEN, HOW,  maintain a framework of expectation, and let go of the fixation.   Focusing on these only invite doubt and fear to join you, resulting in low-vibe, same results experiences.  As we take inspired actions, these things unfold without us needing to attempt to CONTROL or ORCHESTRATE them – we can’t.   However, YES, we must mingle inspired actions with this focus of the outcome, keeping in touch with the WHY – what these new experiences and changes will bring to us  – how they will add to our well-being.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m re-reading a book of Marianne Williamson’s right now, called “Enchanted Love: The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships.”  I keep coming across these excerpts and little golden nuggets that I have saved and carried with me for years now, since first reading the book.

There’s so much to share here (you’ll have to pick up a copy for yourself) but today what resonates with me is this piece below about staying on our own side of the ‘net’ in a relationship; staying largely in our feminine.  Learning how to receive what we need and not trying to make it happen out of desperation, whether it is being courted or working through an issue.  

I think about a good friend who recently lost a romance, and she agonizes over how she reached over in with her masculine too much and the bloom wilted.    I think about my own relationship, and how I am faced with an issue that keeps me on my toes in terms of staying on my own side of the net in the ‘ match ‘ right now.  It’s challenging at times as I want to reach over and use my masculine to ‘fix’ or ‘control’ or ‘change’ what I cannot.  I must remain true to myself in my feminine and allow for the process to unfold where I can receive what I need.  Just as my friend wanted to receive being courted, but staying in her masculine too much had her courting him, however unconscious it was at the time for her – which it largely was.

“Only a woman with high standards, who has no interest in anything but the most adult interaction between a man and a woman, has the capactiy to inspire a man to learn how to act like one.  A man will not be attracted, or at least he will not remain attracted, to a woman who emotionally tries to do the work for him, because in his heart what he wants most is the experience of his own manhood.”

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com