Dear Savvy Woman,

Here’s a topic that I coach clients on if it comes up for them- especially that first date when the temptation – and often the tendancy – is high to whip out the checklists and keep yourself on lock-down, potentially shutting down an opportunity for connection.

Tip #2 - Slipping into your Feminine on a Date

In today’s world many women are high-tailing it to coffe dates via Match.com directly from the office.  What happens when we women are still in our ‘doing’ energy (masculine) when we get around men is we can tend to either take over or severely compete with the man of the moment (our date, or in my case, my husband).  Sometimes a dating situation calls for that, and a healthy relationship should be able to ‘hold’ that.  But what I’m refering to here is a pattern that can get in the way of the masculine-feminine ‘dance’.   Here are a few quick ways to transition into more ‘being’ energy, inviting your softer – and receptive – side to come out and shine:

1)  Be sure to change your top, shoes, jewelry – something – when you leave the office to meet someone for a date.  This is not only a great way to ‘adorn’ yourself and feel a bit more feminine, but it’s a structure and way to signal to yourself that you’re work is done, and you can relax now.   (And I know dates can feel like work, but that’s a mind-set to shift as well…for another post).

2) If you’re at home before going out to meet someone , be sure to : light candles, play some music, spray perfume or essential oils.  These all invoke the feminine – and create beauty and an atmosphere that connects you to beauty – and allow you to step out of your head, and into more presence for your date.

3) This is a fun little ‘trick’.  You’ve arrived to a date and your mind is still racing with work or other things.  First, try to do some deep breathing (3 deep breathes from your abdomen can do the trick) or listen to a relaxing song on the way or before you arrive.  And, to slip into feminine-mode, imagine that the date across from you is undressing you with his eyes (even if you don’t desire this to be the case!).  We feel so feminine when we’re undressed…seduced…, so this little exercise can really work to help you sink into that same kind of inviting, feminine energy.  Again, it helps you get out of your head some, allowing your heart and energy to connect to the present moment.

xoxo,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m re-reading a book of Marianne Williamson’s right now, called “Enchanted Love: The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships.”  I keep coming across these excerpts and little golden nuggets that I have saved and carried with me for years now, since first reading the book.

There’s so much to share here (you’ll have to pick up a copy for yourself) but today what resonates with me is this piece below about staying on our own side of the ‘net’ in a relationship; staying largely in our feminine.  Learning how to receive what we need and not trying to make it happen out of desperation, whether it is being courted or working through an issue.  

I think about a good friend who recently lost a romance, and she agonizes over how she reached over in with her masculine too much and the bloom wilted.    I think about my own relationship, and how I am faced with an issue that keeps me on my toes in terms of staying on my own side of the net in the ‘ match ‘ right now.  It’s challenging at times as I want to reach over and use my masculine to ‘fix’ or ‘control’ or ‘change’ what I cannot.  I must remain true to myself in my feminine and allow for the process to unfold where I can receive what I need.  Just as my friend wanted to receive being courted, but staying in her masculine too much had her courting him, however unconscious it was at the time for her – which it largely was.

“Only a woman with high standards, who has no interest in anything but the most adult interaction between a man and a woman, has the capactiy to inspire a man to learn how to act like one.  A man will not be attracted, or at least he will not remain attracted, to a woman who emotionally tries to do the work for him, because in his heart what he wants most is the experience of his own manhood.”

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com