Dear Savvy Woman,

We get bombarded with ideas on how to be sexy, and there’s a tremendous amount of pressure put upon us.  The right hair, clothes, lingerie…these can all contribute to feeling and looking sexy -no doubt.  And, there’s also SO MUCH to tap into that you already embody and own.  Sometimes we just forget, or we get ideas in our heads of ‘all that we should or have to do’ to be Sexy.  Not true. 

The thing is, there are SO many ways that you can connect to your essence and bring out the natural, feminine glow  = Sexy glow , that you’re designed to exude in a quick, simple, and no-cost way.  As I write this, I realized that I left the biggest one off my list : self-pleasure. 

Absolutely, do this on a regular basis.  It doesn’t cost anything, and it’s quick (if it’s not, you can discover how to be!)  Aside from that, I’ve listed here some things that work for me and my clients, to shift out of ‘Do-mode’ and drop into ‘Be-ing’. Drop into Sexy.

You’re date picks up your energy.  We can tell when someone is stressed, uptight, insecure, or rushed.   What does it do to us?  It puts us off.  We get uncomfortable.    This isn’t what you want to exhibit or contribute on a date.  Our society might value this do-do-do, ‘make it happen’-lifestyle, but if you’re looking to connect with a guy and find a great intimate relationship, you have to invite that in.

You might wonder how some of these add to your Sexy-factor, but trust me, they do. Sexy isn’t sexy unless it’s authentic.  We can tell when some one’s trying to hard. Despite going through the ‘right’ motions, it ends up being repelling, isn’t it? 

These are simple, quick, and low-to-zero cost:

• Step into a pair of gorgeous, sexy heels and wear them as you’re getting ready in the morning.
• Put an extra 5 minutes beyond ’normal’ to tend to your appearance in the morning: make-up, style your hair, put on body lotion, perfume. Care and attention makes you feel beautiful to YOU, and others pick up that energy.
• Make a conscious effort to walk just a little slower - with body awareness - and smile at everyone you pass by, even if you don’t feel like it.  Fake it til you make it, if necessary.  It will work.
• Light candles and play your favorite music for yourself as you prepare to go out.  Seduce yourself.
• Add to your outfit with a hint of color, jewelry, different shoes - before segueing from office -to - date.  This tells yourself, and your date, that the work hat is off - you’re back to being a soft and receptive woman. 
• Take 5 minutes to relax before running to your date straight from work.  Take some deep breathes, paint your nails, listen to music on your Ipod.  Notice the sunset or watch the rain.  Get out of your head and become more present to yourself and who you engage with.
• Focus on who you are authentically BEING with your date.  Be interested. Be open. Be yourself. Be present to simply what is - you’re connecting with another human being - not on ‘what may be’. 
• Slow down.  Slow your mind.  Slow down how you move.  Slow your speech.  This relaxes you & whoever you’re with.  It creates room for more presence & is very inviting.
• Take the pressure off.  The more present you stay to yourself and to your date, the more opportunity there is to notice if there is a connection.  Stop sizing him up, sizing yourself up, future-thinking.
• Mix it up.  I notice a lot of singles have ‘their place’ for meeting dates - same bar, restaurant, coffee shop.  Vary it.  Don’t get in too much of a routine for convenience-sake.  It can impact the energy for both yourself and the date you’re going on.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I hear you! I’m with you - I swear!  

Despite being a married woman, I continually experience the ‘experience’ of dating via my clients and other single women in my life.   Lately, I seem to get almost as much content from being out in public next to a ‘loud talker’ at a restaurant, or in Walgreen’s on their cell.

Just last night, I was meeting a friend at a neighborhood restaurant to catch up.  I had arrived first and dove into the menu as I was starving.  I couldn’t help but hear the conversation next to me as I silently studied what I would order.

This couple obviously had just met up for a first date.  Conversation was mechanical.  I had arrived just as they were winding up.  What I over heard was them each reviewing how they ‘filtered’ with their dates:  if they went to bars or not, online dating, and even, yes - the Meyer’s Briggs.

I was so sad for these two.  

I know E-harmony does an assessement for appropriate matching - I was a client years ago.  Nothing against them, or any online dating site.

What’s next - ENFJdateme.com?

Listen, I’m all about personal development and compatibility.  I’m a coach.  

AND, no wonder we’ve lost hope as women when we hear, feel and experience this sort of pursuit of ‘the one’.

How romantic is it to discuss dating strategy with someone you are on a date with?   Absolutely ZERO.

Especially, when these ’strategies’ are all behind a computer screen, or tallying up under ‘Zero Risk’ and ‘Proven’ columns.

Is this the reality of Modern Dating?

Maybe for some. 

But I know you, Savvy Woman. 

You don’t want this. 

And you don’t have to have it. 

The more you know yourself and know what you want, the more confident you can be in acting on what’s true for you.

Acting from love.

Not acting from fear.   Fear wants to hide behind things - take a proven way - and acts in discord from the truth of things.

I know you want to believe that you’ll have tons of fun, pleasure, light, and wonder in dating and partnering with your man.

And you can.

You must believe.

If you do - you’ll trust some of those nudges, inclinations and hunches that will lead you to fun, pleasure, light and wonder - and to him.

With love and light,

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com