Dear Savvy Woman,

My work with clients often has a component to it of helping them do things differently – largely, it’s about doing things differently (we all need guidance from those that have been there before as we step out, I know I do).  As they say in the famous definition of insanity, something to : doing the same things the same way and expecting different results.

The other night I went to the bookstore and rather than hunting down some books I had on my list to read, I just let myself browse. After all, I was in a bookstore to do that, and not just clicking through on Amazon.com to get what I needed.  And I mention this for a reaon, as there is such a gift to just watching where our attention and energy takes us rather than always being on a mission and ‘following guidelines’ = in this case, picking up certain books.  It lets you play more, and be creative and open.

So that night I stumbled on the book Personal Power through Awareness (Sanya Roman).  And I want to share with you something extremely important about your future, that she writes about. I just sent a newsletter yesterday (are you signed up?  www.BeLoveSavvy.com/articles.htm) on this topic as it’s been up for a lot of my clients  – and for all of us in the world at this time especially, I think. 

“Every time you think of the future you project energy into it, even if you mumble, ” I never get things done,” or “I don’t know why this happened to me,” or “I wish I hadn’t done it.” Every comment you make is directing energy towards the past, the present or the future. If you could become aware of even one hundredth of the thoughts you are sending out into the future, and evolve them, within a month you would know delight that exceeds all of your pictures (in your mind) today. Every single statement you make about yourself, to a friend or even to yourself becomes a truth. You project energy at every moment. If you want a better future, speak of it, picture it, say it to others. Only you can create for yourself what you want. It is the greatest power, honor and gift you have ever been given.”

To your love & success,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Sometimes I have too many ideas on what to write about.  Today, what kept coming back in to my thoughts was the struggle that we can have when we’re ‘cleaning house’ – making changes – in our lives, because this process and space can be really, really UNCOMFORTABLE at times.  

If you look at this on the level of the world – ie. our Global Economy, and our national ‘j-0-b’ market, there’s been a lot of ‘cleaning house’ – hasn’t there?  A forced cleaning. And we, right now, are sitting in that uncomfortable place, watching to see what’s created as our economy slowly rebounds and with that, Corporate America begins to respond and begins to hire again.

In a similar fashion, yet often by choice, we as individuals have to say ‘NO’ to things to create the space for the ‘YES’s to arrive in our lives.  Sometimes that’s a person, place or thing.  AND, what I know to be true, is that we also have to look within.  We must also look at who we are BE-ing , and who we want to BEcome, in order to create the powerful shifts and results that our hearts and minds seek.  So, we have to create space by looking at ways of being within ourselves that no longer serve who we are becoming – and want to become.

For instance, a woman desires a relationship. She’s been alone for a while. She’s ready. On some level, whether conscious or unconscious, she gathers what she would absolutely love to experience in this relationship – and in life within this relationship (the YES).  Because she’s lonely, she still hooks up occasionallywithan old boyfriend, and she dates men that reveal to her red flags out the gate – and qualities that don’t align with what she desires in a partner.  The most important aspect of this behavior, though, is that she feels less-than as a result.  She’s not receiving what she desires, yet she’ll *continue* to keep company with them because the NEW hasn’t arrived, despite feeling less-than after the rendez-vous or disappointment within herself after she accepts a third date request from a mulitple red-flag guy.

It can be so difficult sometimes to say the ‘NO’ (no more…), especially when the ‘ante’ feels raised like  the example above = a longed-for relationship.

And, we can’t grow if we don’t get uncomfortable.  I use to see my own discomfort as a signal that perhaps I was heading down the wrong path.  Today I am well aware that growth – and creating what we want in life – can have times of discomfort.  Our discomfort is often a very important SIGN that we are creating space for NEW. That we’re ‘on-track’!

Here are a few things to keep in mind as you navigate this process and the sometimes-discomfort:

-  Notice if a person, place or thing feels ‘negative’, or that you might feel depleted or negative upon leaving them, it, or after a behavior of your own (like saying Yes to other’s when you want to say No).   If the answer is s a YES, then it needs to be a NO.  But what’s around the corner?  Your NO to what’s in front of you will light the way.  It’s a leap of Faith, and it will pay off in spades.

- Remember that there is a YES behind your NO – the Yes to yourself and what you’re creating.  This is huge for riding the wave of discomfort as you stay true to yourself. For example, you’ve decided that you’re not going to pursue interviewing in a particular industry (every time you do you get a big NO inside – you know it’s no longer a fit for you in a huge way).  But it’s really uncomfortable, for many reasons: a) you need a job b) it’s really easy to get interviews in this field c) your ego gets stroked because you’re experienced d) all of the above.    REMEMBER THE YES.   The YES here may be the 10+ year longed-for career change into the area that those close to you say they can see you in, and more importantly you know on some level you belong in.  The YES here is about saying YES to your dreams.  Keeping you healthier and happier. 

-Be really, REALLY kind and gentle to yourself along the way.  Self-love.  It’s the elixir of life.  The more we are accepting, nurturing, and trusting of ourselves, the easier life flows before us.  If you’re a big bad-talker of yourself, stop NOW.  Words are huge, especially those we say silently to ourselves = our thoughts.   So, be kind.  No one can love you better, nor create the life of your dreams. 

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Friend,

Discomfort is a signal to us that we’re on to something…

“Your discomfort is actually a gift from G*d.  The Universe is reminding you that there is something you believe in more than what you are currently doing, and it is steering you to your right place.  Your Higher Self is giving you clues toward the prize that awaits you when you remember your worth.  There is something that you believe in, and that is the direction in which you need to move to find real happiness.  In contrast to the sense of struggle that you experience when you deny your gifts, you will be amazed at how effortlessly and joyfully success comes to you when you step toward your heart‘s chosen field.  We never have to deny our self in order to win.”

- Alan Cohen, Dare to Be Yourself

I’ve been more and more uncomfortable recently as I’ve been in a deeper place of personal and professional growth.  I decided to become more aware of when I eat sugar, and to modify that behavior (it’s rough but rewarding! ;-), and a little won’t kill me…).  I’ve been uncomfortable as I take steps to honor my needs, despite how those around me may respond.  I’ve been uncomfortable as I step into new-to-me actions leading me toward my desires.

If we aren’t growing, we’re not fully living.  And growth is uncomfortable at times.

We can get to these plateaus and rest for a while, taking in the vistas.  But then we realize the person we’re dating or in relationship with isn’t perhaps one we should continue to be with.  We decide that we can’t stomach one more toxic conversation with someone.  Or, we listen to that inner knowing enough that’s nudging us to interview in an entirely new field –  one that’s lighting us up.

Life can get a bit uncomfortable as we listen to ourselves, honor what we’re hearing, and take actions based on faith, not fear.

So, here is to loving ourselves through the discomfort.

On the other side is peace. And *bliss*.

With love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

This morning I woke up early, and I sat in my office curled up on my cozy couch (which has followed me through the years – single life to married life), breathing in the stillness and reading from a spiritual book,  Working with the Law, by Raymond Holliwell.  This is my church.  Reading and journaling in the morning is a consistent way for me to connect with myself, Spirit, and the oneness of us all, and of the Universe.

I want to share with you this passage that I read this morning from the chapter Law of Forgiveness.

“As we forgive those who transgress against us, so shall we be forgiven of our transgressions.  This law has followed us down through time, and today we speak of it as thought it were something new; we call it “modern psychology”. The Law reads that certain ideas must be dissolved and cleared from the mind in order that other ideas or new ideas of a different character may replace them.  It may be explained as a bottle that is already full which must be emptied before it can be refilled or added to.

For example, if you hold in your mind that someone has wronged you or has treated you unjustly, you cannot be free from your wrongdoings or injustice so long as you hold that thought in your consciousness.”

I liken this example, and simplify it, to that of YES and NO.   What we want to say YES to as we are desiring growth and change, ie.  A New Job,  Healthy Friendships, A Juicy Committed Relationship – we must say No to things that keep our container full so as not to make room for and receive these YES’s, ie.  Work that keeps us low and small, Toxic Friendships, Sleeping with an Ex that we are not moving forward with, but keeps us company on lonely nights and on some or many levels, keeps us attached and unavailable.

Often, we walk around with Unforgiveness in our hearts and minds.  Maybe they are large, small, or a combination of the two.  No matter.  Any time we have Unforgiveness in our hearts, minds and beings – we are a full containter, a full bottle as Holliwell states above.  It only hurts ourselves, our own growth, and the lives that we are creating on a moment to moment basis.

This is not simple, not as simple as it sounds. I know.  It’s something I continually work on myself.  It does get easier, bit by bit, and the hold that my ego/mind has on wronging someone or something, and sitting in Unforgiveness, gets weaker and weaker.   It’s liberating, as I notice the lightness of my load as I step into this Truth that I’m only getting in my own way by holding tight, and  by not practicing Forgiveness.

Write down three things/people/circumstances with which you are aware you are holding unforgiveness (you feel resentment and/or anger towards, a little or a lot).

And now, decide that you will forgive them/the situation/the circumstance.  Just decide.  Your decision is for your greater good.  _Perhaps your ego/mind resists this as it feels as if you are giving permission, acquiescing, rolling over.  Don’t be fooled. You’re not.  This is one of the most loving acts you can do for yourself.  Let go of this resentment and free yourself up for all the good that wants to be expressed through you.

With love,

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com