Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m talking with many women who are looking for their Mr. Right.  One thing that I notice that’s in their way - in a BIG way - is that they are lacking BELIEF. 

Now, don’t be fooled by the simplicity here.  Yes, we hear these beliefs all the time. We all hear from people that we talk to and know in our lives (even if you don’t specialize in this area like I do)  that ‘it’s hard out there’….’relationships don’t last’….’it’s not possible to focus on my career AND be in a healthy, vibrant relationship’….’being single over X age takes WORK’….ETC.  

These are all BELIEFS.   And a belief is simply a thought that has been repetitive enough within someones mind and being that it has been more permanently ‘grooved’ into a belief, like a woodworker carves grooves design into a piece of work, with stroke after stroke of their knife.

What’s essential is to realize that :

1) You are always at CHOICE with what you BELIEVE to be true.

2) Doing everything that it takes to re-create & live into BELIEFS  that support what you DESIRE in your life is non-negotiable.  It’s a MUST.

The truth is, you will continually meet resistance when you have a conflict between something you DESIRE, and the BELIEFS that you hold relating to that desire.   This area of life, love and relationships, works just like health, wealth, or beauty.  If you desire to make a million dollars, yet you don’t truly believe that it’s possible for YOU, you will struggle, and meet resistance, and have a hell of a time attracting that million dollars into your life.   If you desire to feel truly beautiful, but you don’t believe that you are beautiful, you won’t feel, embody nor exude your beauty.

My work with clients involves having them look at themselves and what they are doing , surrounding themselves with, focusing on, etc to support the CHANGE  that they want in their life. This involves detoxing and re-creating their  BELIEFS.   Sure, they can take the right ‘actions’ : date online to meet new men, extend themselves socially as much as possible, up-level their look to feel new and attractive, and truly let go of their past.  BUT, if they are doing all of these things yet they DON”T believe it’s really gonna happen - it’s not going to - at least not as effortlessly as they wish it would.  It may start and stop, or rev up and then burn out quickly, but they will continue to struggle in this area and have a much slower & difficult time meeting their guy.

And let this inspire you, because the really cool thing is that this is a key that unlocks so much.   So, it’s time for a little tough-love ladies, from me to you.   I want you to have an amazing time in this experience of growth and change as you attract YOUR Mr. Right.   So, take inventory of what you are investing in all the time- what  beliefs you are holding. 

And if you’re local to SF, I’m hosting a FREE talk on Navigating the Holidays as you find YOUR Mr. Right, Sunday evening 12/6.   Save a seat, and relax as you experience a focused hour on why it’s so important to believe, and to feel MAGNETIC - especially this magical holiday season.  I can’t wait!  RSVP by clicking HERE.  

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

My mom use to take me skiing a lot.  For skiing, I was allowed to cut a day of high school to beat crowds, which made it all the more fun.

I use to hear this comment from her on our ski trips,  ”If you’re not falling down, it means you’re not really trying”. 

Think about the FEAR that comes up (if you allow yourself to recognize it) as you think about going for something BIG.  Or maybe doing something completely NEW to you.  FEAR can bubble up, sometimes very easily.  This is what can stop us dead in our tracks, if we let it. We’re afraid to fall down.

The older we get, the more fearful we can become as we get more and more conditioned to own perceptions & the perceptions of others and the world.  I  mean, there’s SO much to be afraid of, right?  Just listen to random passing conversation (as I am right now in a coffee shop as I write) - or what you hear from a friend or someone who loves you - or what you read on news sites or see on TV. What we find ourselves saying to others. 

This plays out often when it comes to attracting love,  too, my savvy friend.  We’re often sitting back in ‘fear’ or concern:

Am I going to meet him?

Is this guy the right partner for me?

Why doesn’t it seem to be going the way I dream of it going?

Often, we don’t try a new approach - or create a different and winning Mindset to support our desires - because we’ve got this subconscious fear, of either success or of failure.

A clue that you’re on to something - that you’re giving the mountain and slopes the best of you - is when you feel the Fear coming up, and you continue to take a step forward anyway. And then another. And another. 

It’s not a matter of having NO FEAR, or preserving yourself out of FEAR, it’s a matter of feeling the Fear, and moving forward toward your desires anyway.

And, if you’re local to the Bay Area, come spend the day with me on March 21st ! I guarantee, you’ll walk away clearer, more confident and feeling more courageous.  The Savvy Woman’s Boot Camp: Hitting Re-Set for New Love will hands-down be the best investment you make in yourself to create love and a life of your desires.  Reserve your seat here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/Events.htm

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Almost as good (depending on personal preference) as receiving Daily Candy is receiving a Daily Affirmation.  Imagine FREE Coaching, just dropped into your Inbox every morning, before you wipe your eyes and slip out of bed to start the day.

It’s actually a great ’structure’ (coach speak for ritual, or place holder) for me to center my thoughts and myself as I get into my day.  Some days, when I’m really tired, stressed or some other version of not feeling my Best Self,  I reach over for my Blackberry after waking up and scroll to find the Daily Affirmation.  It gets the party started on those days.  I value this little structure so much I’m inspired to add it on to my website for those who want to sign up and receive daily thoughts from Moi.

I happened upon Laura Fenamore’s site when I met her at CTI, the coaching school I attended, and I’ve been receiving her daily messages for years now.

Passing on the love with today’s brilliant message….

Today I release any feelings I have to compete with others or compare myself to others knowing that that leads me to pain not joy (which is what I really want).

So true.  As I say to my clients often, “comparison kills”.   It kills your mind-set and potentially, your self-esteem.  And it kills romance in dating and relationship.  It kills the energy & opportunity for connecting on a first date.  Even if it’s never acted on, but just sits…lingering in your thoughts.  

Here is to your Unique Brilliance. 

And to Joy. 

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’ve created the results that I’ve desired in my life by focusing on them - as if they were already in my life.  What we focus on increases - have you heard that before?  If you’ve followed any of my work, I know that you have! :)   As humans, we can all waver with this, even if we are pretty well studied here and have witnessed our lives change as a result of this Universal principle and Truth.  We must continue to manage, with greater and greater proficiency, the gap between who we BE in the here and now, and who we actually ARE - as divine beings.

When I was single - which, marrying at 36, means I had a good long time of dating and relationships before I met my husband - I for a very long time was focused on LACK.  If I was without a date or without a boyfriend, I was frequently coming from a place of ‘less-than’ or ‘not enough’, because I was fixed on what was missing and what I wanted that wasn’t ‘here’ yet.

Are you that woman?  Do you constantly look to what you don’t have and look at your friends and strangers and imagine that they are in utopia and complete, while you are in LACK?   I understand - I’ve been there.  As humans, we can all struggle with this when we want something (relationship, fitness, wealth, adventure) and it’s not ‘here’ yet.

You might not see that you are that woman, because to yourself and from the outside you’re ‘living the good life’.  But are you buying it?  What are you telling yourself?   Are you telling yourself you’re ‘bad’ and ‘unwanted’ if your date doesn’t ask you out again, or you find yourself out of relationship for months or years?  

What completely changed my personal life, largely by what vibration I was in, was what I focused on.  When I started to really , REALLY focus on what my heart DESIRED, life changed - dramatically.   Life got FUN and it FLOWED.  It wasn’t seamless from the ‘outside’, but it felt seamless on the inside.  I had to let go of a lot - what it was that i “thought’ I wanted and more so, what I had known, and who I had been.   I stepped into a larger version of me by focusing on what I wanted, BEFORE the proof that it existed showed up.   THAT IS THE KEY.

1.   Stop focusing on what you don’t want.  Careful here - you might not think that you’re doing this, especially if you’re busy, ‘happy’, etc -  so take an honest look at your thoughts.    “I don’t want to be single at 40, 50, 60″…….  are you running that story in your mind? 

2.   Start focusing on what you do want,  and acting as if it’s already here (  and it is, but you have to raise to the vibration for it to be received into your life.   Are you currently vibrating at ‘it’s not here!’ ‘i’m alone - still!’ ‘men suck!’ ‘there’s no available men in San Francisco!’).

3. Your attraction-gauge operates based on your emotions.  If you are feeling good (by thinking good thoughts) , and focused on what it is you desire, your vibration will change to the frequency by which your desire is vibrating, and you will attract it in.  Let go of the HOW and the SHOULDS, and focus on how you are FEELING and BEING, resting in patient EXPECTENCY. 

In good vibes and with love and gratitude,

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Friend,

This quote, taken from Napolean Hill’s classic (1937) “Think and Grow Rich”, is one that very simply and accurately describes the journey to prosperity - be it fortune of money, fortune of happiness, fortune of peace and love.

“Every person who has accumulated a great fortune has recognized the existence of this stream of life. It consists of one’s thinking process. The positive emotions of thought form the side of the stream that carries one to fortune. The negative emotions form the side that carries one down to poverty.”

My coaching and mentoring work with clients leans heavily on this subject, because our thoughts simply create our realities. You have to take a look at what your thoughts are. Do you know what you’re even thinking? It’s a very slippery slope as our thinking is so automatic, it can be so ingrained and conditioned, and much of it happens without us being CONSCIOUS of it.

As they say in the twelve step program AA, ‘Your best thinking got you here.’

Please be careful here in terms of the Ego thoughts that might be coming up right now - always looking to be superior and ‘right’ - that might be saying, ‘Oh, I already KNOW this. Tell me something new.’

I suffer from this. I think we all do, even those of us that are most evolved on the planet. It really is a continual shedding, a removal of the layers. Every time you find yourself stepping into something bigger, or something new - it is essential to just notice your thoughts.

For example, you’ve decided that you’re truly desiring to be available for a relationship. No more funny business and avoidance tactics or playing small.

1) Take time to step back as if you are an observer of your mind and your thinking, and give some space for your thoughts to bubble up as you look at this ’statement of intent’.

2) Stay honest and vulnerable here, and write down the ugly, fearful, deepest thoughts that come up.

“What the hell do I know about relationships?”

“Yeah right, he’s not out there.”

“It’s impossible to have a happy relationship today.”

“Why do I want commitment anyway, everyone gets divorced.”

“Who is going to love me?”

The more you get acquainted with this dark closet of thoughts and own that they swim in your head from time to time, the better your swim in the stream of prosperity. So don’t deny your shadow thoughts.

3. These are thoughts, and thoughts are things. They are actually units of energy, as physicists have discovered. But these aren’t TRUE. Only you, and I, and all of us in our thoughts, make them so.

4. Change your thoughts. For every thought that surfaces that you acknowledge and write down, create a new thought, one that reflects your desire and vision for yourself.

” I know a lot about relationships.” (You do, you’ve been in them your entire life. Everything is relationship).

“He’s out there, waiting for me, and ,’he’ could be anywhere.” (Not just online, not just at a bar, not just in your dream).

“Many people have healthy relationships. I am one of them!”

You get the picture.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I love, love, love this  & had to share:

“I’ve always believed in magic. When I wasn’t doing anything in this town, I’d go up every night, sit on Mulholland Drive, look out at the city, stretch out my arms, and say, “Everybody wants to work with me. I’m a really good actor. I have all kinds of great movie offers.”  I’d just repeat these things over and over, literally convincing myself that I had a couple of movies lined up. I’d drive down that hill, ready to take on the world, going, “Movie offers are out there for me, I just don’t hear them yet.” It was like total affirmations, antidotes to the stuff that stems from my family background.”

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete, and yet life is ever changing.

There is no beginning and no end, only a constant cycling and recycling of substance and experiences.

Life is never stuck or static or stale, for each moment is ever new and fresh.  I am one with the very Power that created me, and this Power has given me the power to create my own circumstances.  I rejoice in the knowledge that I have the power of my own mind to use in any way I choose.  Every moment of life is a new beginning point as we move from the old.  This moment is a new point of beginning for me right here and right now.  All is well in my world.

- Louise Hay

Take a breathe.

Ahhhhhhhh.

From my savvy & abundant heart, to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Lady,

I had great response from my Ezine over the weekend on what’s Out/In both with our own self, in in the wonder-land of dating and relating!   If you’re not getting my Ezine, be sure to sign up for the free subscription at http://BeLoveSavvy.com !

One savvy lady told me she had just cut her hair off (lots of it!) the day before the issue came out, and had so much fun noticing how she was showing up differently at a party that very night.  She said the short new ‘do gave her an instant injection of sass and playfulness.  How fun!  The best thing, she said, was she knew that once she outgrew this style, she could change it again.  Hair does grow- right along with us. ;-)

 A friend of mine and very savvy Stylist (multiple books & a stint on Oprah are under her belt!) offered to be a guest on an upcoming tele-class of mine.  I can’t wait to ‘play’ with her on the call.  We’ll blend savvy style how-to’s relative to this topic of changing our outer-selves to align with our inner-UPDATED- selves.  The best part about this - during these seemingly uncertain times -  is that you don’t need to go shopping (unless, of course, you want to!).   We can mix things up with what we’ve got - but sometimes we need another mind here - and we’ll have one of a professional sylist!

Sometimes I make  ’just for the day’ changes to make sure I keep myself on my toes - I can get easily bored with my ‘look!’, as you might have read on Friday.   For instance, today I chose not to spend 30 minutes washing & styling my hair.  I threw it back in a loose ponytail - although it was curly from yesterday, so it has some curl (frizz)  to it - and put a little cap on, to try for a casual-sassy look.  I’m spending my day writing and on phone calls, so I could get away with this.  Most importantly, changing up how I presented myself to the world (and to myself!) today allowed me to feel a little bit more free and light = more creative. 

If this is resonating with you,  I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone.  I dare you!

Be sure you are Rep-ra-zentin, savvy girl.

Have some fun!

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

“JOY heals so much faster than saddness and grief, worry and concern.”

-Denise Linn

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m finding myself looking at this subject a lot, whether I’m working with clients, or I’m looking at myself and my own approach to  goals and dreams.

The always right there, one-step-behind: ” How???? ”

You know what I’m talking about, right?

We can dream, vision, desire and get all fired up about what it would look, feel, taste like.  And then - maybe it’s in a next moment, or next day, or next month.  Perhaps it’s after many steps towards it but, in a one-step-back (perceived) moment.  We do it.  We go to the HOW?  

HOW is….

• my dream relationship going to arrive?
• am i going to loose those last 5 lbs?  or the 30?
• will my work, in which i am in utopia, by the way, arrive?
• can i get my relationship back on track, because we are so far off of center?!
• will i get on the Oprah show?

Can you relate?   Do you have seemingly far-off, outlandish, or ‘impossible!’ desires that you can daydream of, but as you take a serious look -talk about- take a step toward,  very quickly stop you dead in your tracks when you’re mind rests on the

H-O-W?

Me too.

I do.    And here’s the thing: the H-O-W is our biggest enemy.  Biggest!!  Because when we are looking at where we are & where we want to be - and focusing on what seems like a big wide open space between the two, where no proof of our desired state is there waiting for us, we panic.  The ‘How’ is actually out there, raising it’s hands, saying - “Over here!  I’m right here!  You’re on the right track! you can do this! Just take a step.”

No, we are not 10 month-olds trying to take a first step.   Or are we?   Why not try that visual on for size?   Pretend that 10 month olds can read, just for this example.

So, you are a 10 month old baby.  Mommy is coaxing you to take your first giant step, as she’s witnessed you holding on to the coffee table, standing tall and strong - on your very own.    You stand holding on for dear life, and she’s several feet away from you, hands out - telling you you can come to her - all smiles.   But, just next to her is a big, bold sign that says, 

“HOW?”

As this particular 10 month old in our example, you can register what this sign means to you.    It is saying ‘ Come on - you haven’t taken a step yet - Missy - what makes you think you’re going to begin right this minute?  Huh?  Tell me.  Tell me!  Don’t even try it.”

What if you, as this 10 month old, believed more strongly on this grumpy, bully sign than you did your Mom ?

Dream coach Marsha Weider, whom I heard speak in past months, refers to this as ‘going to strategy too soon.’   When we do, our dreams get ’schquelched’, she says.   We get stopped before we get started.

The HOW actually shows up.  It does.  Absolutely.  But we have to BELIEVE it is possible (our desire, our dream, our goal) and take ACTION toward it.  As we do,  the HOW gets taken care of.   

I’m so sad just typing this.  I really am.  What would our world be like if we all decided to not look at that ‘bully sign’ - the HOW? - and decided to go for it anyway? 

Unlimited possibilites.

With love,

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com