Dear Savvy Woman,

This week I heard from past and current clients who’ve activated their Inner Goddess – and oh how I love hearing their success stories! Love ‘em! Mentoring women who are seeking more love and healthy relating is heart-opening for me not just in witnessing their growth and success, but because I always learn and grow right along with them! 

One past client gave an update about a 3+mo. relationship, and said how pivotal it was for her to work with me to turn her biggest ‘perceived obstacles’ - age and desire for children – into something she could not only own, but own without applogy!  Quickly attracting a great man who not only appreciates who she is, but also mirrores her desires!

Another client let me how grateful she is to me for helping her bring her self-love and feminine energy into play more as she struggles with a boyfriend who’s been on the fence. As she’s taking better care of herself and putting specific things into action, she not only feels like the Goddess she is, but he’s feeling it too!

If your Inner Goddess needs some re-activating,  won’t you join me next week?

On Monday, March 22nd at Therapeia Spa in San Francisco, I’ll be hosting a special evening workshop at an incredibly low cost  – only $20!

Together we’ll focus on these principles as they relate to healthy dating and relationships, and what you desire to create in your life:

• Feminine energy – are you replenishing and harnessing yours? When we’re not, we can block our receiving (chivalry doesn’t have to be dead!), we feel resentful and cranky, and find ourselves working too hard in dating, our relationships, and life in general.

 • Valuing and Loving Yourself – the foundation of any good relationship and a huge attractor in life.  Discover simple and fun ways to up your self-regard and self-love, because it’s a game-changer!

• A guided visualization – reconnecting to your Inner Goddess for empowerment, clarity and guidance.

So come join us in the relaxing lounge at Therapeia…sip wine…and invest in yourself and your life!

RSVP to assist@belovesavvy.com with the title ‘March Workshop’.  6:30 – 8:30pm, $20 at the door.  

Love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Hey Savvy Woman,

Did you catch Thursday’s Oprah show last week?  Be sure to watch it. The first segment has Patti, the “Millionaire Matchmaker” partner up with Nate Berkus to help a 41-year old woman who’s in search of a man. 

It’s a great segment, including one huge simple GEM from Patti, which I’ll share in a second, but be sure to watch the rest of the show, too (warning:  it will have you reaching for Kleenex and blessing all that you have in your life right now, while feeling so inspired).

So, even if you’re averse to Patti’s 20-girls-to-one-’rich’-guy matchmaking show that’s been on for years now, she gives very solid advice as to what guys and gals need as they navigate the love & relationship scene, such as, ’Men first fall into attraction with their eyes, women with what they hear between their ears’. 

Here’s the GEM that Patti gave to Oprah about what most stands in a woman’s way that I absolutely agree with : BELIEF.    Patti hit it on the head in reminding women that he IS indeed out there, something that I spend some time on with private clients and students who want love and relationship.  You have to believe, do whatever it takes to believe (we’ll ge to that in just a sec), keep believing, and never stop. 

Most-to-all women that seek me out professionally, or that I meet and talk with admit that they lack BELIEF:  that he’s even out there, that a happy and healthy relationship is possible for them, that they haven’t missed their boat.

On February 15th, the day after Valentine’s Day, you can step into an experience that will transform the results you’re experiencing in dating and love.   This 8 week tele-program, ” Find YOUR Mr. Right: 7 steps to attracting the love and relationship that you desire!” will transform the way you approach &  find love this year – because it will transform you.  If you haven’t had the BELIEF that you need, this is just one of the many essential things you’ll transform with my step-by-step, 8-class coaching program.  Learn more HERE.

Here’s to finding YOUR true love ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

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Dear Savvy Woman,

If you’re a woman who’s looking to meet YOUR Mr. Right in 2010, ask yourself a very important question:  Who do I receive my dating & relationship advice from?  

You might realize that you spend a lot or all of your time discussing your dreams, complaints, and dramas with your other single friends who also tend to worry, complain and see the single ‘landscape’ in the same way you do. This can be both comforting and confusing – and frustrating. I know because my clients point to this fact a lot.  We love our friends – and when we’re in a tribe together, facing the same issues and hopes together, there can be a lot of comfort and companionship.  And, sometimes , it can become a soup of  frequent negativity, sublte sabotage, numbing-out and truth-negating.

The ultimate truth of who to date, who to let go of, how to recover your sense of optimism and positive expectancy, how to uncover your dreams and desires and grow them, how to effortlessly attract in a new way, how to navigate the dating and relationship waters with ease, elegance and a lot more fun…..all of these become much more quickly revealed to you when you invest in and apply teachings, advice and guidance from someone who’s both been in your shoes, and is also walking their talk now. Why take relationship advice from someone who’s been chronically unhappy and dissatisfied (we all have our moments, but you know who I’m talking about) and/or never before experienced a healthy relationship? 

Just this weekend a super smart, attractive,  and self-defacatingly funny woman mentioned at a group dinner to me how a guy she recently met randomly texted her something  super non-challant and lame like , ‘Hey chic-ita, whatch you doin?’. I may be married now, but I was dating when texting was becoming the new way to communicate, and I was turned off by any guy who didn’t have the class or cahoneys to pick up the phone and dial my number – especially straight out the gates. We teach people how to treat us (largely by our response to their actions), so if you feel a little (or a lot) deflated by the guy who jumps straight into text messaging only – act on your truth.  Ignore the text altogether  if you trust your often correct ‘NO, thanks’ - and if you want to check things out more because he seemed great in-person, simply text him back letting him know you prefer a gentlemanly phone call , with a little winky smiley face (especially if you know your weakness is succumbing a little too soon to someone who is likely to be unworthy of your beautiful self).

See, we grow accustomed to our environments, and we become them. In this case, we get use to the text culture, and we start off a relationship with a bare minimum of communication and courtship.  Then we don’t experience what we so desire – we don’t get the results we seek – and we wonder what we need to do differently.   When this woman shared this little story, a few of the guys at the table were  gulping a  little about my hand up to this text, but they knew what was true: when a man really likes a woman, he wants to impress her, and will likely call or email her rather than lobb off a six word text re-introducing himself.  And if he’s a good guy, if you ever so faintly need to ‘slap his hand’, in this case giving him a chance to start over with you by letting them know this kinda approach ain’t cutting it, he’ll quickly course-correct and receive your request with openness and …refreshment.

Who’s giving you your relationship advice?  I know you want to be courted and to feel attractive and appreciated – and adored. Don’t settle for what your heart knows isn’t quite cutting the mustard.  Only seek guidance, advice  and teaching from those that have both been in your shoes before, and are now where you want to be. 

Want to jump-start in a BIG way in your love life in 2010 – and receive an over-haul in your dating and relationship results? I have a special invitation offer for an in-depth private day with me – feel incredibly clear, prepared, excited, refreshed and made-over after this Love Life Breakthrough Day.  I’ll walk you through the 7 step process I’ve designed based on my personal relationship evolution and all of my coaching and client experience. January 12th – tomorrow – is the last day to reserve YOUR PRIVATE RETREAT with me.   Learn more HERE on how to transform yourself – inside and out – to get new results and to receive the relationship that’s waiting for you!

To your love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Like what you read? Get more authentic dating, love and relationship tips by signing up for my newsletter. It’s totally free. Check it out HERE.

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m talking with many women who are looking for their Mr. Right.  One thing that I notice that’s in their way – in a BIG way – is that they are lacking BELIEF. 

Now, don’t be fooled by the simplicity here.  Yes, we hear these beliefs all the time. We all hear from people that we talk to and know in our lives (even if you don’t specialize in this area like I do)  that ‘it’s hard out there’….’relationships don’t last’….’it’s not possible to focus on my career AND be in a healthy, vibrant relationship’….’being single over X age takes WORK’….ETC.  

These are all BELIEFS.   And a belief is simply a thought that has been repetitive enough within someones mind and being that it has been more permanently ‘grooved’ into a belief, like a woodworker carves grooves design into a piece of work, with stroke after stroke of their knife.

What’s essential is to realize that :

1) You are always at CHOICE with what you BELIEVE to be true.

2) Doing everything that it takes to re-create & live into BELIEFS  that support what you DESIRE in your life is non-negotiable.  It’s a MUST.

The truth is, you will continually meet resistance when you have a conflict between something you DESIRE, and the BELIEFS that you hold relating to that desire.   This area of life, love and relationships, works just like health, wealth, or beauty.  If you desire to make a million dollars, yet you don’t truly believe that it’s possible for YOU, you will struggle, and meet resistance, and have a hell of a time attracting that million dollars into your life.   If you desire to feel truly beautiful, but you don’t believe that you are beautiful, you won’t feel, embody nor exude your beauty.

My work with clients involves having them look at themselves and what they are doing , surrounding themselves with, focusing on, etc to support the CHANGE  that they want in their life. This involves detoxing and re-creating their  BELIEFS.   Sure, they can take the right ‘actions’ : date online to meet new men, extend themselves socially as much as possible, up-level their look to feel new and attractive, and truly let go of their past.  BUT, if they are doing all of these things yet they DON”T believe it’s really gonna happen – it’s not going to – at least not as effortlessly as they wish it would.  It may start and stop, or rev up and then burn out quickly, but they will continue to struggle in this area and have a much slower & difficult time meeting their guy.

And let this inspire you, because the really cool thing is that this is a key that unlocks so much.   So, it’s time for a little tough-love ladies, from me to you.   I want you to have an amazing time in this experience of growth and change as you attract YOUR Mr. Right.   So, take inventory of what you are investing in all the time- what  beliefs you are holding. 

And if you’re local to SF, I’m hosting a FREE talk on Navigating the Holidays as you find YOUR Mr. Right, Sunday evening 12/6.   Save a seat, and relax as you experience a focused hour on why it’s so important to believe, and to feel MAGNETIC – especially this magical holiday season.  I can’t wait!  RSVP by clicking HERE.  

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Let’s be grateful for what is and what matters most to us,  as we enter the holidays and soon say hello to 2010.

I’ll go first by sharing that I am so grateful for:

YOU, for the opportunity to connect with you in this way.

My health and Being: body, mind, spirit, and soul.  

My clients, and all the women who trust – and have trusted – me in guiding them to find their true love.  

All the brilliance, beauty and opportunity that exist on the planet in my lifetime.

My friends and family for their love and support,  and for being who they are in my life (or were), and teaching me what I most need to learn, sometimes to my great dis-comfort! 

The expansiveness and shiny-new experiences that emerge on the other side of the above dis-comfort!

And I’m grateful  - more with each passing day – to my husband Larry for being more than I could have ever imagined as a friend and husband – and teacher.  Last Thanksgiving we did not spend  together (that’s for another blog post or maybe even a book!).  I’m learning so much about myself and about life being in this relationship.  It’s both life-giving and humbling.

All the people that have paved the road for me and you, including my beloved mom who passed away 15 years ago.  I love you Mom, and miss you. 

And as I end this blog, I look inside the book cover of a book I read in the mid-9o’s after my mother passed, that her sister, my Aunt Margo, sent to me “Simple Abundance”, by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  This is syncronistic.  I read on this inside cover what I  know I am to share with you, a prayer that I learned from an Oprah show back then that John Gray shared with the audience, and that helped me to connect to my higher self, to the Universe and to more abundance.

“Oh glorious future, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.

Oh glorious G*d, come sit in my heart.  My heart is open to you.”

Happy Thanksgiving from me to you ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Amazing Women,

If you’re on my newsletter list (you can receive it subscribing here: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/articles.htm) , you read that a few weeks ago I attended Ali Brown’s SHINE event in Las Vegas.  This was a group of 500+ entrepreneurs – mostly women – all gathered in one ballroom for 3 full days of inspiration, teaching, and networking.  

With my recent ‘Find YOUR MR. Right Breakthrough Session’ promo, I’ve been meeting even more women ready for LOVE.  New love. Different love. They’re ready for a road they haven’t been down before.  As I’ve been consulting with these great women, I’ve been reminded of my biggest learning’s at SHINE.  Who knew?  Love & Entrepreneurship have a lot in common.

* ** Make Decisions based on where you want to be, not where you are (or where you’ve been). 

This is a biggie.  Entrepreneurs become afraid to invest more at times.  They’re looking at what’s worked so far.  Women seeking love are the same.  Many women are looking at their track record, their hurts, or their current status – and making decisions from that place, rather than based on their Vision.

*** If you are being your authentic self, you really can’t have competition.

Yeeessss.  This one is SO important ladies. I hear clients talk about comparison all the time, and as women, we all do this – I believe more than men.  If I sat and compared myself to other experts in my field, I would feel deflated and uninspired.  I may try to not be ME, but more like THEM, if I was feeling insecure or dis-believing.  As a woman, the more you own and harness your own personality, your own authentic beauty - and play up your strengths, the RIGHT man for you will be effortlessly drawn to you.  Comparison DOES kill. 

* ** People won’t invest in you beyond what you’ve invested in yourself.

As a coach, I continually invest in my own growth, tools and training.  I continually make financial investments in myself via coaches, teachers, trainings, seminars - not to mention the investment of time, and self-care.  I could never expect to receive an investment from a client for one of my coaching packages, products or seminars that I don’t make myself.  It’s an integrity thing.

How does this show up in LOVE?  Would you want to date you?  And are you in integrity in general with how you treat others?  Once a client came to me  being very tough on the guys out there, yet she was ultra-sensitive to any form of rejection that SHE received. It was amazing to watch her transform in our work together and soften into more acceptance of others & herself – and receive love.  Like attracts Like, so the more you invest in your own care, happiness and life – the more you will receive in the form of a wonderful partner.

Wishing you a fabulous Friday & weekend ahead.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Your emails and FB comments on these daily tips have been awesome, thank you.  I love to receive your feedback or questions so please comment, email, or ping me via @LoveSavvyLeslie.   This daily blogging of tips for ‘single’ and ‘in-relationship’ gals is helping me as I write my first e-book.  Hot topics and burning questions on relationship success and attracting new love?  Please share. And we all have them.  I was reading In Style magazine the other day, the current issue with J Lo, and of course I appreciated how she admitted that she’s fascinated by relationships and is always picking up a book on them to try to figure them out (I’m sure Marc has helped her de-mystify them some… ;-)). 

Tip #3  ~ Keep  – or Create – a little Mystery 

Just a little. I’m not suggesting games here. This is really about re-balancing and keeping the dance in your relationship going. When there’s absolutely no surprises, no space, time apart – its kind of like you’ve stopped dancing and you’re sitting on the side looking around at everyone else, bored and maybe frustrated.  Every relationship ebbs and flows – and – what I know to be true and what I hear from clients is that things can  also start to feel off-balance within ourselves and the relationship when we’ve become so accountable, so attached at the hip, sometimes too giving of ourselves (us?), overly focused on him or the relationship, etc.   Maybe we notice that we’re feeling a little taken for granted, or our guy is now stating that he doesn’t know if he can give us what we want, like a longer-term  view together. Sometimes the dance is meant to be ended, but even the best of relationships can benefit from a little ‘feminine mystique’ infusion. 

A client I’m coaching was experiencing this a little with her guy recently and asked me for advice.  She was tempted to pull away completely – as is often what we want to do – RUN! – when our feelings are a little hurt by what we’re not getting, especially when it’s a topic such as committment.  What I reminded her is how attuned men are to to this feminine mystique, and they’re not even conscious of it – usually.  In her case, it was simply to re-create some by weaving in a few nights sleeping back at her place (beauty sleep for early a.m. meetings) , not being as uber-responsive or initiative with texts and calls (don’t ditch them, but delay the need to always pick up or initiate), and re-prioritizing some very important ’me’ and  friend time which may be on a back-burner. 

From my savvy heart to yours  ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

We can all wonder if we’re learning what we’re suppose to be learning on this journey in life.   I know for myself, sometimes it feels like I’m not learning when I’m stuck in a pattern and I’m wondering ‘where it is’ if it’s a manifestation, or, when I seemingly take steps backward and find myself in a ‘situation’ that’s undesirable.

The thing is, the soul doesn’t go backwards.  Our soul accumulates our life experiences, and although from the ‘outside’, it might appear that we’re slipping backwards, our soul knows.  Our soul has a life map, which includes some contract agreements with others, and experiences in life that we’re meant to have in this lifetime.

Talking with a savvy woman recently, she was looking at a love that was no longer and looking deeply at the fact that it seemed as if ‘He’ was a soul mate.  A Soul Love.  And so if so, now what?  Understanding that we come into this lifetime with soul contracts and that we learn from everyone, and everything, I offerred her the perspective and truth that the soul doesn’t go backward.  That despite it feeling like ‘he was it’ and the pain seems unbareable, there IS a greater plan.  

Sometimes we’re in so much pain we’re not ready to receive this, and this falls on deaf ears.  She was able to receive this, she already knew.  But it was helpful to her, she said, to be reminded of this Truth.  This Truth can be the net that catches you when you’re falling into the seemingly dark abyss.  The beauty here, is that if you can lean into this Truth more, it allows you to loosen the ‘where is it’ or ‘why’ grip more, and you become increasingly Present in the moment and to your life.  More and more possibility and opportunity live in this special place.

Then, next time around, the relationship, the job you take, the experience you have with someone’s illness – whatever the situation be – you bring to it the richness of your soul’s knowing.  And as always is the case, eventually you can *see* the ‘why’ that your heartache, or pain, or denial didn’t allow you to see at the time.  That is, if you are awake to your soul and to the greater unfolding of your life, some of which was already mapped out before you were born.

Isn’t it amazing?

Lots of love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Whether you’re single, married or dating – no matter what the status of you’re relationship, no doubt the tool of Visualizing will change your life – it has mine.  Over, and over, and over again (it works wonders when I’m in an argument with my love).

Visualizing is one of the most powerful things that you can do to create change and bridge your reality over to the place of your dreams. Dating the wrong men? In an unhappy relationship?  Is your marriage suffering? Are you simply feeling dried up and exhausted? Not only has this done wonders for me in my love life, but I can look at other important things in my life -  changing careers, giving important presentations at work, working to get in shape at the gym, and even a most recent television appearance – and the success of these all were the result of a  common denominator: Visualizing.

Years ago when I was between boyfriends, a very wise & savvy friend and I were talking about love and live, and she struck a chord with me when she asked me to ‘feel in’ to what I wanted in a relationship.  ‘Picture in your mind the two of you hanging out – what are you doing together?’  Then I was even more blown away when she again asked me to feel in to (through a Vision – a picture in my mind) things like the way we communicated  – to identify what the feeling-tone was of that – fiery? Clear? Soft & cozy? Expansive & accepting?   

Months before I met my husband, I surprised myself when I was talking with producers of the reality show, “How To Get The Guy’ that was being filmed in San Francisco (but that’s a story for another blog) , and in our discussion it came to my awareness that I had held this Vision in my mind of my future  husband and I having black & white photographs hung in our hallway, particularly of us with our baby.  Now, I wasn’t a girl who had lots of specifics as to details of what her future life would look like, but that image popped up and had served – in some ways unbeknownst to me – as a guide post as I dated. Today Larry and I do have some black and whites of us hung in our hallway, and I smile as I connect the dots back to my Vision.

Another very powerful personal example on Visioning : I spent time one weekend by myself – my first trip with no companion and not work-related – walking the beach in Del Mar, CA and soaking up the gorgeous hotel and pool I was staying at. I journaled, I walked , I shopped – it was a healing time for me after a relationship ended and I had left a job to pursue a coaching career.  I walked the beach every day and visualized my future life – specifically my future husband and marriage. I felt into (via a vision) our communication, how we spent time, the energy of him – and of us.  Unbeknownst to Larry, he proposed to me on that very beach, under the Moonlight, less than 2 years later (but who was counting?).  This still gives me the chills and sweetly reminds me how we live in a magical Universe, if we can only remember to see it that way and Believe.

I’m so passionate about this powerful tool and I teach my clients to use it successfully in their own lives.  It’s so simple, it can be quick and it’s *Free* to boot.  What more could you love about a tool that expands your reality and allows your dreams to unfold, seemingly effortlessly? (Stay tuned for Pt. 2 of this blog where I’ll speak more to this last statement)

Here’s some steps to the “How”:

1. Choose a Visioning medium that comes most easiest for you to ensure regular use & success.   Is it playing a ‘mind movie’? Is it making a Vision box or board?  Is it writing it down?  Maybe all three – but whatever you do, decide to do it, begin, and tap into it regularly – even for just a minute or two.

2. You must shut down your thinking/ego mind while you’re doing this.  That’s the mind that has you perhaps looking to poke holes in this concept, to censure what you’re visioning, to tell you you’re doing it ‘wrong’.   THERE IS NO WRONG WAY. Trust your inner guidance.

3. Get yourself into a relaxed state for a few minutes before you begin steps 1 and 2.  Listen to a favorite song first, laugh at a funny show or joke, move your body.  Get your energy flowing downstream to open up creativity and connect to your inner navigation system – your heart & energy system – that connects easily to Truth and the magical Universe.

Stay tuned for Part 2 – what is ‘happening’ when we regularly Vision & how does this help us take inspired action?  

With love and Universal blessings,

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Continued from Part 1, this is the mock-conversation between Jane and John.

Me (Jane) : I’ve noticed that we seem to not plan our time together as well these days (and it’s making me CRAZY – but i’m not going to say that part).  I want to be sure I can see you on weekends, and yet also not miss opportunities to see friends.  I’m wondering, how would it work for you (notice there’s no force to control or command) if we check in Tue or Wed in the week and see what’s up for the weekend?

John: Yeah, sure – of course.  I’m sorry. I know I’ve been last-minute lately – I’ve just been all-consumed at work.  I want to be spending time with you.

Me (Jane): That’s OK, I could tell, and yet I also know myself, and I don’t want to this to get in the way of our relationship. (This shows respect and kindness  toward him AND also subtly and powerfully declares what’s important to her, and what she won’t put up with!)

John: I don’t either – you are too special and I want to make sure you’re happy!

Now, the alternative that my client felt a knee-jerk to do (and I SO get it, I’ve done it myself) – due to feeling both defensive and rejected – was to book time with friends and make herself unavailable.  This at times can be called for – not so much to play games but to make sure you are investing in your friendships and making plans so you don’t resent him when he doesn’t ask to see you Friday night, or beyond.

Jane is very invested in the relationship – they already have conversations about living together and weddings – so the choice for her to make that would guarantee growth for herself and the relationship was to communicate in a way that was both authentic to her and respectful of her man.  Although she felt she’d get some reward from a ‘sting’ back to him as she felt slightly hurt and neglected, she decided to approach the conversation honoring her needs but not coming from a blaming or nagging place – neither being very attractive or sexy.

Here’s a  review of the How’s:  

• Ask if it’s a good time to talk
• Address what you need by claiming what it is, without any blame, threats or drama – and offering up a solution
• Approach with a positive and self-posessed energy – you are loving, kind and UNAPPOLOGETIC in the conversation

Why it’s Sexy & Attractive:

• It’s clean, clear and drama-free
• Men DO appreciate solutions and guidance on what makes their woman happy- this makes it EASY for them to deliver!
• Being honest and direct about what you need & want shows CONFIDENCE – very, very SEXY!
• Using kindness and not manipulation preserves their self-respect and respect in your eyes

It can take a little courage and vulnerabilty - depending on the situation or state – but it’s well, well worth it.   And you can’t lose – if it’s ill-received, it only shows you more about the person you’re spending time and energy on.  Valuable all the way around!

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com