Dear Savvy Woman,

I was working with my coach yesterday (I have one too - we all need to walk our talk…) and she asked me how often I check in with my Vision (in this case, my career Vision) these days.

My answer = not much.

Admittedly, I can find myself off-track, and the thought of dedicating some time to connect to my Vision feels like - UGH.

Just like exercising, eating well, or other self-care, if I get off-track, it takes a little wake-up to stretch and get back into the game.   It might feel more comfortable to sit it out, but it’s no fun not playing.

I discovered in talking with Karin, my Fabulous Coach (www.mmmaven.com), that the best way for me to tap into my Vision regularly and effectively is by playing a mind movie.   

A mind movie is simply a Vision you hold in your mind, playing out the future scenario that you are desiring.   I first did this when I anxiously anticipated delivering a presentation to executives in a former job.  I pictured myself confident, calm and equiped to handle anything that came my way.   Sure enough, we oddly lost electricity during the event, and I later received praise from my boss for how unaffected I appeared.  

Mind movies work.  I’ve played them preparing for various events that caused me temporary anxiety (dates, interviews, key meetings, challenging conversations).  It never fails to work.

I committed to Karin yesterday to play my mind movie , at minimum, every day if just for a few minutes.  The key is to really feel into the movie, capturing the energy and vibration of your Vision.  Press pause and hold that space as long as you can in your mind, and feel that energy in your body.  

So, my savvy friend, I encourage you to try this.  You will be amazed.

First, get clear on a Vision.  What are you desiring?   Then, create a future image of you having this in your life, being this Future Self.  Add in details and feeling-tones that make the movie rich and fulfilling - you’re enjoying the fruits of your success.  

Play this movie regularly!

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I often coach my clients to journal.  This is not an easy task if you’re not accustomed to doing so - I know.   One thing that I always find is a help - both for myself and for my clients - is to begin with a Gratitude List.  I got this idea from a book that Oprah made famous, Simple Abundance, by Sara Ban Breathnach. 

The idea is to give thanks to what you have, what you enjoy, what is true.   Small and big.  Simple pleasures. 

Taking time to list these things can shift our perspecitve dramatically.   Suddenly, we realize that we have many things to take pleasure and comfort in.   We don’t need to keep our mental focus on what we seemingly lack or don’t have.

For example, my list today:

1.  Feeling the sun on my face and the warm air.

2. Laughing and making it through 6am bootcamp this morning.

3.  A sweet email from a friend I don’t get to see much.

4.  The ability to do work that I love today.

5.  A sweet kiss from my husband.

Writing this list drops me in to how I’m feeling, and slows me down to take notice of all that I am able to do and to experience.   Especially if I’m feeling uninspired or in negative thinking, writing 5 things to be grateful for always helps turn me around.  

Try it out!

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I want to share a fun and savvy, not to mention sassy, resource with you :  www.jillianbisinger.com.

Jill is a fabulous photographer here in San Francisco.  I used her for my photos on my website www.BeLoveSavvy.com.   If you peruse her website you’ll see she also takes amazing pregnancy photos, family photos, and events.

Whether you’re looking to upgrade your online profile or just celebrating the New You, you’ll have a great time listening to blues and chatting with Jill like an old friend as she clicks away - complete with outfit changes and hair checks to expand your options, and confidence.  Not only do you walk away with tons of photos to choose from at a reasonable price, but you feel like a Star for a couple of hours! 

What Savvy gal couldn’t use a dose of that once in a while??

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

Can you decide to be happy… NOW?  Can you make the choice that if this moment is all that we truly have, that despite how the picture of your life looks to you today, this month, this year as you turn ____,( insert age), you are going to be Happy?

What does that truly mean, anyway - being Happy? 

Is it a ’state of being’?   If so, is it fleeting, is it permanent?  I don’t know about you, but I am guilty of walking around with thoughts that point to many things defining my happiness - I might do this a lot less than I use to, but I am still guilty.  Unless we are all closer to the self-actualization of Buddha, Ghandi, and the like - we can probably relate to this, right?

“When I get to here ______(insert phase of life:  that relationship/amount in the bank/state of a relationship/ ‘landing spot’ of whatever),  then I’ll *really* be Happy.

My clients come to me with the desire to find love.  We take a look at things that are getting in their way - from limiting thoughts, lost belief in that it’s even possible, and also things like negative habits/attachments that deplete their energy and creativity - leaving them living ’small’.

You know what I hear more and more?  “Well, I know that when I meet ________ (him - a great guy/my boyfriend/my husband), THEN I’ll be happy.”   I nod my internal head, relating to this woman’s thoughts, as I use to subscribe to the same belief.   And it kept me living small, when I wanted to live BIG.  

 When I met my husband, it was after I decided that I wanted to live BIG, regardless of whether of not I had a guy  that I was crazy about in my life.  I simply decided to live life without him. For now.  Finally.  I ended things with the guy who I was currently miserable with (a nice, funny, successful, attractive and very unavailable man), and  I moved forward with a career change, trips and treats for myself, and a succession of daily small, simple choices to support my values of FUN and EASE.  All that rolled up into me feeling pretty good - I was satisfied with my life as it was. Sure, I was desiring him, and I kept that desire tucked in my back pocket, like a little shiny pebble of rose quartz.   I knew it was there, and I kept it close.

What I witness is a lot of women contintuing to walk around, living with this huge boulder that’s landed in their living room.  It’s impossible not to see it -it’s there - kerplunk.  And it gets in the way of everything. It’s the “He’s not here, so I can’t even begin to decorate, or even walk or live comfortably in here, until he is.”  That boulder is all of the negative thoughts and beliefs,  held resentments and regrets, and dissappointments that have formed into rock - a boulder - and it’s sitting in the living rooms of many women.  It’s serving as this huge paperweight - holding down the precious lives of beautiful women everywhere. 

If you are one of the millions tuning into the Eckert Tolle/Oprah online classroom on the book ‘A New Earth’, you might be looking at what this means.  I’m not actually following this book on Oprah.com, but I have read it.  Tolle writes, “Don’t seek happiness. If you seek it, you won’t find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness.  Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it.  Unhappiness covers up your natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true happiness.”

 (Stay tuned for Part 2….)

From my savvy heart to yours,

with love ~

Leslie 

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Larry and I are hooked on the remake of the series Battlestar Galactica (an entire story in itself – but i’ll save it for another time) and we usually treat ourselves to an episode or two a week.  Sometimes we  O.D. on three or more episodes in one sitting, but, as balance is key in everything, we tend to refrain from gorging too often.

In case you’re not familiar with this show (I really can’t imagine! = )), the gist is that the human race is fighting a war against the Cylons,  trying to save their race, discover earth, and stay alive in this war occurring in various galaxies.   Often they use the tactic of ‘jumping’ to another ‘position’ in the galaxy, or into a new galaxy, to save themselves.  Well, I tell you, I found myself in awe of this ability – to say ‘See ya!’ – and , in a second, find themselves in a new, stronger position. 

Although the cat is now out of the bag (I actually watch this), I’ll let it out further and say that we’ve watched enough  that I find myself joking referencing the show (“So Say We All!”).  Just this morning while in session with my coach, I spoke of a limiting belief that I’ve held on to and found myself saying, “God, I am so OVER this!  I just want to JUMP.” (Thankfully she was both familiar with the BG series, and knew that my comment was in context of the show, not standing on a bridge.)  Wanting to shed this limiting belief that was showing up by way of remaining stagnant and ‘playing small’ (coaching lingo), I wanted to propel myself into a new state by JUMPING, rather than taking the baby steps necessary to work it through, which would result in the same – bring me to a new galaxy.

Savvy ladies, you know what I’m talking about.  I’m most certain you do, because you are a woman. As women, we feel, and give, and desire, and aspire.  Often we get really caught up in the first two, and when the second two kick in or catch up, we want to JUMP.  To new galaxies, a new place.  “John” has been disappointing you – and it’s feeling now three months too much. You’re ready to end it.  How easy is it to want to JUMP, and grab hold of a new “John”, rather than first responsibly and reasonably communicate your needs and desires, directly and authentically, and see what comes of it.  Urrrg…. It can just be easier to JUMP, right?  Find a new guy that might be more ‘right’.  Just move on.

On the show, the mother ship, the Battlestar, often walks this line of reacting by way of positioning for a jump, yet assessing the situation to determine if it’s the correct course of action  - the right time - to perform a JUMP.  If it’s the right thing to do.  They could continually jump, but sometimes they find themselves into stickier situations when they do that, like leaving some of the fleet behind or losing their fuel source changing galaxies. It can be an easy out.

Don’t get me wrong - there’s nothing wrong with making a JUMP.  In fact the JUMPS are what makes life’s challenges worth it.  Unfortunately, we’re not living on the Battlestar and can’t just hit a button to launch us into a new galaxy in a light second.  We need to map out the ‘jump coordinates’ by way of using our awareness, truth, and desires to guide us towards that JUMP.  We need to do some work in order to get to where we want to be.I can say that being in relationship with my husband Larry, is a tremendous JUMP from the dating and relating experiences of mine 4 or 5 years ago.  What occurred before, in between, and after was (and is!)  some ‘work’.   I didn’t stay out of relationship for the past 5 years, I didn’t stop taking risks, I didn’t just sit and close my eyes and fantasize about “Mr. Right” who would appear and be perfect and make my life perfect, and I didn’t look only beyond myself, pointing outward as the reasons and excuses as to why I wasn’t happy in relationship. This JUMP occurred for me (and continues to occur) by practicing my Love Savvy Principles (www.belovesavvy.com/approach).

Here is to exploring the galaxies of our dreams…So Say We All!    From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

I am so passionate about this piece of Accountability to ourselves, when it comes to ‘Being’ in exercising our ‘Love Savvy’.

 

I’ll be writing more soon in the blog about the different ways that we can aspire to ‘Be’ in the Be Love Savvy.

 

But, back to business at hand.  So, what do I mean about being Accountable to ourselves?  It comes back to what I said earlier in Part 1: we can’t ‘pass the buck.’

 I met this sweet, aspiring and very aware young woman recently who wants to work with me to get clearer within herself. She said she’s so tired of doing the same old things - the same way.  “I date all the weirdos!” she said with a laugh.   I shared with her something that I had once read, written by the spiritual leader, Marianne Williamson.  Marianne said, “The problem isn’t that you attract these guys (the ‘bad’ ones, whichever bad they are)…the problem is that you gave them your number!” 

Amen.  Seriously. This is Accountability. We should delight in all that we attract, in terms of ramping up our vibrations and shining our light and beauty out into the world.  The buck stops with us, however.  The accountability lives within us as to what we do with that, and what we create. We first get clear and connect to our heart’s desires, and then we claim them and manifest by behaving in ways that honor our truth (see Love Savvy Principle #3, www.BeLoveSavvy.com/approach)

 Sometimes we don’t get a sense that the ‘weirdos’ are just that, until we have given out our number, and perhaps into a few dates and beyond. That’s OK. Just remember, you are the only person who can be accountable for your dreams.   From my savvy heart to yours, 

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Readers,

 

I want to share one of my favorite (and fun) resources that I use to center and check -in with myself on a weekly basis: Shirley Maclaine’s astrologer.  Starting off my week by reading about my sign (Taurus!) and the week ahead on her site reminds me to  stay open in my heart, mind, and being to all that is magnificently possible, both in this week and beyond.  

 

 Although the basis is Astrological,  you’ll notice that the tone is very inquisitive and positive, two things that I love of course, being a coach!  Even if you don’t buy in to this woo-woo sign stuff, you’ll certainly glean some inspirational thought or motivation as you read along.

 

I love this week’s header and introduction:

 

It’s All About What You Want

Right away, following the powerful events of last week, the Spring Equinox and the full moon, you are pulled now into the depths of what it all means. All are being challenged to think seriously about choices and work to sort through confusion and mixed messages being given out to the world at large.And, in the mix of it all, each is thinking deeply about survival and economic balance. For each of you, this is a week to formulate a strategic plan and lay some groundwork.

The inner planets trigger personal desires and inner motivations which are in high gear right now. From the beginning of the Sun’s transit through Aries on March 20, you began your process of rebirthing and life affirming thoughts. As hope is renewed you are also being drawn into thinking more about what you need to be personally happy. The alignment of Mercury and Venus with Uranus this week really compels you to go forward and be a bit more adventurous.

What new idea can you incorporate into your life this week? And, what action might you take to move out of a rut and find more avenues to express and fulfill your life? The energy this week gives rise to a little mindfulness, mixed with a little action, to launch you on your way to a more fulfilled lifestyle.

Read more about this week at: www.shirleymaclaine.com/astrology

 

Enjoy!

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.belovesavvy.com

I know you, because you’re like me. We’re women.  And although I’m no longer single, the game of love doesn’t stop once you’ve tied the knot.   More so, I dated and relationship-ed quite a bit before I met my man, so I am *very* familiar here.

Being women, it’s safe to say that we do a lot of the analyze emails/texts/last time he called/did this/scheduled a date-thing.  It’s our nature.  And this might serve us once in a while. But , let’s admit what we also know:  it’s just plain crazy-making, obsessive -thought-spinning activity.  As I grow and learn from the experiences that shape my life, I’m reminded of the beauty and power of simplifying.   And when I look at a situation that’s frustrating or fear-provoking, and I view it from a new and simple perspective, it’s powerfully transforming. My awareness grows and shifts, and I find myself elevated to a new place where I not only feel more clear, grounded and energized, but I make choices and decisions regarding that particular situation that reflect my truth.  So, with that said, why not try putting all the typical analyzing-him tactics aside for a minute, and quiet down your mind.  

 Now, envision yourself standing at the train station in a busy European city, about to journey on the last leg of your magnificent vacation. This is the leg of the journey you’ve been most anticipating – you saved the best for last. You are standing with bags in hand, reading the train schedule.Let your guy represent a train.  You know that this train, as they all are, is headed in one direction with a specific destination.  Let his qualities, good and bad, map out the route for you. Who he is and where he is headed, based on what you know of him, represents the destination of the train.  Is this the route and destination that you want and need?   Because, my savvy friend, he is a man, and men are like trains.  He’s mapped the route and is headed in one direction, on one particular route.  Your job is to determine if this is the train that will work for you. Is this the train that will take you on the last leg of your fabulous trip, to your most anticipated destination?  Or, are you boarding it, knowing that it’s not, but hoping that somewhere along the line you will reprogram this train?  You’ll re-route it somehow, someway.

Trains don’t re-program themselves mid-route.  Trains don’t change.  If we would never fathom trying to re-route Amtrak, why would we get it into our heads that we can re-route a man?

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.belovesavvy.com

  

I recently finished a book by David Deida, entitled ‘Dear Lover – A woman’s guide to men, sex and love’s deepest bliss”.  Karin Witzig, my marketing guru (www.mmmaven.com) , had recommended him as good reading on the topic of male/female energy.  David writes about the nature of male vs. female energy in relationships. When I came upon his analogy of men being like trains, I was truly hooked. “Men are like trains. They are going somewhere. Choosing and staying with a man is like choosing to get on a train.”  I read this and laughed out loud, for the simple brilliance I found in this concept.  How often have we (or ’someone we know’) tried to re-route and re-schedule Amtrak? 

Just this morning I was walking with a friend and fellow coach, getting updated on the new guy in her life. She couldn’t help but compare this new relationship to a recent one that ended, and spoke of the amazing difference between trying very hard to make something work, verses this new ease and sense of ‘being held’ by her new man.  ‘Held’ in the figurative sense = being on the right train.Why not deduce the complexities of love and relationship down to an Amtrak or a Euro rail schedule?  In the simple truth that all we really have is this moment, and that life is precious AND you want to live it with a wonderful guy deserving of you, let’s take a look at this…(stay tuned for Part 2…)

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.belovesavvy.com

With the new beginnings that come with Spring, now is the perfect time to prepare.  Out with the old and in with the new.  It’s amazing how it really works.   When we get things in order in our world,  both outer and inner,  we benefit. Often in a very real, and big way.  The fun part is that the ‘new’ often shows up in unexpected, unplanned ways.

I decided to challenge myself with one type of  ’inner’ spring cleaning a few weeks ago, in the form of a diet cleanse.  I was scared. But the time had come, and I was inspired to commit a quality act of self-love . The thought of existing on ‘rocks and twigs’ for days, and giving up my treasured morning coffee, not to mention carb cravings, was really intimidating.  Thankfully, I had a detox mentor in my friend Lori, who turned me on to Dr. Cory in Mill Valley, CA (www.drcory.com).  Dr. Cory offers a one-stop shopping of products, preparation, education and supervision in her cleansing programs.  She maps it out for you and gives you resources for keeping your life going during the cleanse (cleanse-safe dining at Cafe Gratitude - yum! - www.cafegratitude.com). I highly recommend her program.

The good news: I survived! Many protein-spirulina shakes and countless greens later.  Larry (my guy) was proud of me: I came home to a beautiful orchid plant in honor of my suffering and successful completion.  Even better news:  I feel GREAT.   I picked up new knowledge on health & nutrition, and my body.  The surprise, the unplanned: I became extremely clear of mind, not just body.  This greater awareness and sense of be-ing ness was incredible.   Creativity-goals-current distractions and energy drains in my life, all surfaced in new and very clear ways.  It was a suprising bonus.

So, what are some ways that you might Spring Clean?  Detox aside, there are countless ways to say goodbye to the old and welcome the new (stay tuned for more…).   

Your heart-mind-body, and LIFE awaits!

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.belovesavvy.com