Dear Savvy Woman,

Sometimes I have too many ideas on what to write about.  Today, what kept coming back in to my thoughts was the struggle that we can have when we’re ‘cleaning house’ – making changes – in our lives, because this process and space can be really, really UNCOMFORTABLE at times.  

If you look at this on the level of the world – ie. our Global Economy, and our national ‘j-0-b’ market, there’s been a lot of ‘cleaning house’ – hasn’t there?  A forced cleaning. And we, right now, are sitting in that uncomfortable place, watching to see what’s created as our economy slowly rebounds and with that, Corporate America begins to respond and begins to hire again.

In a similar fashion, yet often by choice, we as individuals have to say ‘NO’ to things to create the space for the ‘YES’s to arrive in our lives.  Sometimes that’s a person, place or thing.  AND, what I know to be true, is that we also have to look within.  We must also look at who we are BE-ing , and who we want to BEcome, in order to create the powerful shifts and results that our hearts and minds seek.  So, we have to create space by looking at ways of being within ourselves that no longer serve who we are becoming – and want to become.

For instance, a woman desires a relationship. She’s been alone for a while. She’s ready. On some level, whether conscious or unconscious, she gathers what she would absolutely love to experience in this relationship – and in life within this relationship (the YES).  Because she’s lonely, she still hooks up occasionallywithan old boyfriend, and she dates men that reveal to her red flags out the gate – and qualities that don’t align with what she desires in a partner.  The most important aspect of this behavior, though, is that she feels less-than as a result.  She’s not receiving what she desires, yet she’ll *continue* to keep company with them because the NEW hasn’t arrived, despite feeling less-than after the rendez-vous or disappointment within herself after she accepts a third date request from a mulitple red-flag guy.

It can be so difficult sometimes to say the ‘NO’ (no more…), especially when the ‘ante’ feels raised like  the example above = a longed-for relationship.

And, we can’t grow if we don’t get uncomfortable.  I use to see my own discomfort as a signal that perhaps I was heading down the wrong path.  Today I am well aware that growth – and creating what we want in life – can have times of discomfort.  Our discomfort is often a very important SIGN that we are creating space for NEW. That we’re ‘on-track’!

Here are a few things to keep in mind as you navigate this process and the sometimes-discomfort:

-  Notice if a person, place or thing feels ‘negative’, or that you might feel depleted or negative upon leaving them, it, or after a behavior of your own (like saying Yes to other’s when you want to say No).   If the answer is s a YES, then it needs to be a NO.  But what’s around the corner?  Your NO to what’s in front of you will light the way.  It’s a leap of Faith, and it will pay off in spades.

- Remember that there is a YES behind your NO – the Yes to yourself and what you’re creating.  This is huge for riding the wave of discomfort as you stay true to yourself. For example, you’ve decided that you’re not going to pursue interviewing in a particular industry (every time you do you get a big NO inside – you know it’s no longer a fit for you in a huge way).  But it’s really uncomfortable, for many reasons: a) you need a job b) it’s really easy to get interviews in this field c) your ego gets stroked because you’re experienced d) all of the above.    REMEMBER THE YES.   The YES here may be the 10+ year longed-for career change into the area that those close to you say they can see you in, and more importantly you know on some level you belong in.  The YES here is about saying YES to your dreams.  Keeping you healthier and happier. 

-Be really, REALLY kind and gentle to yourself along the way.  Self-love.  It’s the elixir of life.  The more we are accepting, nurturing, and trusting of ourselves, the easier life flows before us.  If you’re a big bad-talker of yourself, stop NOW.  Words are huge, especially those we say silently to ourselves = our thoughts.   So, be kind.  No one can love you better, nor create the life of your dreams. 

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Aphrodite is the alluring Greek Goddess of love, beauty and fertility.  Although she reigned over these aspects of life that are feminine and often  perceived as ‘soft’, she wielded A LOT of power through her embodiment of them.  This was both very appealing to others, AND  extremely effective in serving her own agenda.

Aphrodite can teach us a thing or two.

Not too long ago I was a woman strung out by what seemed like a perpetual broken heart, false beliefs and as a result – small living.  Aphrodite slinked in one lonely, frustrated evening and whispered in my ear, “It’s about YOU, sister, not them. Focus on YOU.”   I’ll share here with you some of Aphrodite’s teachings – how I apply them to my life  – and how you may want to, too.

Aphrodite is hyper-awake to her own needs. Well….I woke up. I listened to what I needed.  I began to put myself first (and had some ‘assistance’ at times for sure, like the boyfriend who was depressed and had to force me out the door, because he knew he couldn’t give to me).  I cried. I wrote. I listened to my heart. I dared to try new things. Bold things. I had a new kind of FUN.  I began to honor myself on an entirely new level.  It felt exhilarating and a bit out of control – the good version -  at the same time.  What might you be needing to awaken to?

Aphrodite adorns herself , and beautifully so. I dared to adorn myself.  I started pushing my own envelope with jewelry in particular. No more corporate job meant a liberty to wear bolder jewlery – more striking pieces.  This felt like a big deal to me. But I had always looked at these women who seemed so flowy and feminine, yet bold (Aphrodite-ish) – and I didn’t quite own that part of myself that was like them. So I began to.  When I started wearing jewelry that I was so attracted to, I expressed that part of me too, and it felt WONDERFUL.  It changed my energy in impactful ways.  When you feel good, others can feel that. It’s VERY attractive.  How do you  adorn yourself ?

Aphrodite stands in her own point of focus in relationship.  She doesn’t self-abandon for her lover’s approval, or just to be in relationship.  This was an area I had a lot to learn (and always can continue to improve upon). I began to speak my truth more.  I even swung the pendulum a bit far right (like we do sometimes when in new territory) before it swayed to middle ground.  For example, there was that second date that never got to dinner because I walked out after drinks, with no excuses, just the hard truth (delivered honestly) that I didn’t need dinner, or another date.  Nowadays, my practice is often checking in with myself and my needs regularly, and especially at those times when my sometimes-brazen and loving husband pitches an idea that I’m not quite sure about – for me.  Friends compliment my ability to not abandon myself , or them for that matter, in my relationship with my husband.  I’m grateful for the witnessing. It’s a delicate dance, for sure.  Are you standing in your own point of focus within your relationship (reminder: this breathes more fire and life into your relationship, not just you!) ?

To your Aphrodite-living,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com