This saying is so true.  Recently,  I’ve had a lot of ‘stuff” come up to heal, and I’ve become more brave in facing the pain vs distracting myself in all the various ways I know how and have done in the past.  And have become accustomed to. Breaking patterns can be so damn hard, whatever those patterns may be. For many of us, it includes not feeling our feelings – especially the hard ones, stuck ones, big ones. But when we stop, and feel – we heal. It’s actually the only way, as the other saying that’s on the money on this topic is:  whatever does not get expressed, gets repressed.

We’ve been raised to keep going, never stop, watch the ‘clock’, move on, and replace – like a marathon runner.  Don’t you meet some marathoner’s who look really worn out?  Are you worn out?  If so, where ? Or how?  What are you feeling?

Feel it to heal it.  It’s really simple.  If we allow ourselves to stop and feel into our hearts, especially when it’s hard to, we’ll feel something. It may not be pretty, and that’s OK. It’s more than OK. It’s really, really good actually. The Ugly Duckling that we’ve been relegating to the edge of the pond that is our heart, when given some pond-time, will turn into a Beautiful Swan.

My heart has been healing as I’ve been separated from my husband for a few months now.  For any readers who follow this blog, you heard a little bit about this from me last winter – that we were going through something.  That something has been an intense time of soul-searching, following Truth (inner guidance), and making hard decisions. As private as this journey has been and is for me, I know that I’m meant to share learning and wisdom on the other side of this, and intend to do that.

Through this journey, I’m reminded that love never dies but will always change form at some point, and that following one’s heart can be as painful at times as it is joyous. Especially if you’re someone who loves hard, fast and with loyalty. I still – maybe even more than ever – believe in love, sometimes ‘fast’ love, and loyalty.  What I’m learning, however painfully, is that fine line in relationship, and partnership – as to where to draw the line between loyalty to ‘other’, to ‘relationship’ , and loyalty to one’s Self. It’s a big one, for a lot of us.

Lot’s and lots of pond time going on.  Journaling a few times a day. Getting things out, and feeling into them. Getting back to nature with walks, hikes and simple appreciation. Sessions with my mentor. Getting loved up by beautiful friends and family.

It can be really scary to go into places that you haven’t really been to within yourself, but if you don’t, how can you expect anyone else to nurture, see or care for that part of you? We attract who we are, and where we are emotionally, energetically.  Feel it, love it up, and let go of what you need to.  <3

Much love,

Leslie

I’ll admit it – I place a huge value in feeling beautiful. Feeling beautiful, *to me*,  is a strong fuel for my life. Yet,  it’s not exactly how it sounds, or how you immediately imagine this to be (read on). Although I don’t constantly put these into play in my life, when I do give them some priority, life feels rich and everything in it seems to improve. It’s one important way of filling your cup – letting the overflow to the saucer be the energy and bandwidth available to give to others in healthy ways.

My personal connection to beauty might not fit yours. And it shouldn’t. Mine is unique to me,  just as yours is unique to you.  (And after reading this post, I encourage you to list out 10 or 20 ways you can feel connected to your beauty, to help you clarify yours).

Feeling beautiful takes all kinds of  forms. It’s not formulaic, and yet I’m sure some of the ways that I’ve (we’ve) come to feel beautiful plug into society’s demand and definition for women to be beautiful – our cultural archetype of beauty. I notice though, that the wiser I become, the more I realize that buying into other’s approval just dilutes my own joy…and sense of feeling beautiful.  It’s a process of culling and refining my own value of beauty, my own requirements, and leaving those that don’t bring me the connection that I know I need to feel, and benefit so much from feeling.

When you step into your own ways of feeling beautiful, whatever they are, it not only connects you and empowers you, but others can feel it. It’s an elixir in attraction, although this is not about doing anything for anyone else’s benefit. It just so happens that the byproduct is increasing your magnetism and attraction.  Nice, huh? ;-)

I began this post this morning, and then had to leave it for other work.  Later today I happened to be listening to a spiritual-based radio show where beauty was defined (don’t you love synchronicity?)  as,’The revelation of one’s grace.’  Which means the revelation of what’s inside. Your essence. Honoring who you are, without apology. I loved this – it is what I have struggled languaging -  and realized that hearing this was a sign for me to complete this post!

The more I invest in valuing the things that connect me to my own sense of beauty, the more whole and complete I feel, and in turn, the better person I am to others.  In our busy lives, it’s easy to ignore our own needs – especially on this topic –  and simply plug into what other’s value.  Over time, we can become as empty as some of the ‘stuff’ or ‘trends’ that we often see dictating ‘beauty’ and how to feel beautiful.

To give yourself a beauty boost – especially if you’re feeling lonely and desiring a love in your life, list out some ways that you connect to your own beauty. Then, decide that you will do one of them each day for one week.  See how you feel at the end of the week – I guarantee that you will have experienced a big shift.

Here are some ways that I connect to feeling beautiful within myself to help you along with your own list:

Lying or walking on a beach, feeling the sand beneath my feet, listening to the ocean

Having a meal of kale & seaweed salad from the Whole Foods salad bar (yum)

Moving my body to music on the elliptical at the gym, or dancing around my apartment, and working up a sweat

Communicating what’s absolutely true for me, without censoring to take care of the other person

A professional blow-out

Doing good & meaningful work: inspiring others – improving life experiences – whether in my work or volunteering

A great outfit when I am needing a great outfit

Earning an income that supports, nourishes and empowers me

Wearing jewelry & color that speaks to me & inspires me

Playing good music in my office, appartment, car , Ipod

A hot bath, bubbles – or – a baking soda & espsom salt clearing bath

Sending unexpected thoughtful notes, texts and cards to people that I love and appreciate

Petting animals, playing with kids.

To your beauty,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

If you’re a woman who’s looking to meet YOUR Mr. Right in 2010, ask yourself a very important question:  Who do I receive my dating & relationship advice from?  

You might realize that you spend a lot or all of your time discussing your dreams, complaints, and dramas with your other single friends who also tend to worry, complain and see the single ‘landscape’ in the same way you do. This can be both comforting and confusing – and frustrating. I know because my clients point to this fact a lot.  We love our friends – and when we’re in a tribe together, facing the same issues and hopes together, there can be a lot of comfort and companionship.  And, sometimes , it can become a soup of  frequent negativity, sublte sabotage, numbing-out and truth-negating.

The ultimate truth of who to date, who to let go of, how to recover your sense of optimism and positive expectancy, how to uncover your dreams and desires and grow them, how to effortlessly attract in a new way, how to navigate the dating and relationship waters with ease, elegance and a lot more fun…..all of these become much more quickly revealed to you when you invest in and apply teachings, advice and guidance from someone who’s both been in your shoes, and is also walking their talk now. Why take relationship advice from someone who’s been chronically unhappy and dissatisfied (we all have our moments, but you know who I’m talking about) and/or never before experienced a healthy relationship? 

Just this weekend a super smart, attractive,  and self-defacatingly funny woman mentioned at a group dinner to me how a guy she recently met randomly texted her something  super non-challant and lame like , ‘Hey chic-ita, whatch you doin?’. I may be married now, but I was dating when texting was becoming the new way to communicate, and I was turned off by any guy who didn’t have the class or cahoneys to pick up the phone and dial my number – especially straight out the gates. We teach people how to treat us (largely by our response to their actions), so if you feel a little (or a lot) deflated by the guy who jumps straight into text messaging only – act on your truth.  Ignore the text altogether  if you trust your often correct ‘NO, thanks’ - and if you want to check things out more because he seemed great in-person, simply text him back letting him know you prefer a gentlemanly phone call , with a little winky smiley face (especially if you know your weakness is succumbing a little too soon to someone who is likely to be unworthy of your beautiful self).

See, we grow accustomed to our environments, and we become them. In this case, we get use to the text culture, and we start off a relationship with a bare minimum of communication and courtship.  Then we don’t experience what we so desire – we don’t get the results we seek – and we wonder what we need to do differently.   When this woman shared this little story, a few of the guys at the table were  gulping a  little about my hand up to this text, but they knew what was true: when a man really likes a woman, he wants to impress her, and will likely call or email her rather than lobb off a six word text re-introducing himself.  And if he’s a good guy, if you ever so faintly need to ‘slap his hand’, in this case giving him a chance to start over with you by letting them know this kinda approach ain’t cutting it, he’ll quickly course-correct and receive your request with openness and …refreshment.

Who’s giving you your relationship advice?  I know you want to be courted and to feel attractive and appreciated – and adored. Don’t settle for what your heart knows isn’t quite cutting the mustard.  Only seek guidance, advice  and teaching from those that have both been in your shoes before, and are now where you want to be. 

Want to jump-start in a BIG way in your love life in 2010 – and receive an over-haul in your dating and relationship results? I have a special invitation offer for an in-depth private day with me – feel incredibly clear, prepared, excited, refreshed and made-over after this Love Life Breakthrough Day.  I’ll walk you through the 7 step process I’ve designed based on my personal relationship evolution and all of my coaching and client experience. January 12th – tomorrow – is the last day to reserve YOUR PRIVATE RETREAT with me.   Learn more HERE on how to transform yourself – inside and out – to get new results and to receive the relationship that’s waiting for you!

To your love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

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Dear Savvy Friend,

Discomfort is a signal to us that we’re on to something…

“Your discomfort is actually a gift from G*d.  The Universe is reminding you that there is something you believe in more than what you are currently doing, and it is steering you to your right place.  Your Higher Self is giving you clues toward the prize that awaits you when you remember your worth.  There is something that you believe in, and that is the direction in which you need to move to find real happiness.  In contrast to the sense of struggle that you experience when you deny your gifts, you will be amazed at how effortlessly and joyfully success comes to you when you step toward your heart‘s chosen field.  We never have to deny our self in order to win.”

- Alan Cohen, Dare to Be Yourself

I’ve been more and more uncomfortable recently as I’ve been in a deeper place of personal and professional growth.  I decided to become more aware of when I eat sugar, and to modify that behavior (it’s rough but rewarding! ;-), and a little won’t kill me…).  I’ve been uncomfortable as I take steps to honor my needs, despite how those around me may respond.  I’ve been uncomfortable as I step into new-to-me actions leading me toward my desires.

If we aren’t growing, we’re not fully living.  And growth is uncomfortable at times.

We can get to these plateaus and rest for a while, taking in the vistas.  But then we realize the person we’re dating or in relationship with isn’t perhaps one we should continue to be with.  We decide that we can’t stomach one more toxic conversation with someone.  Or, we listen to that inner knowing enough that’s nudging us to interview in an entirely new field –  one that’s lighting us up.

Life can get a bit uncomfortable as we listen to ourselves, honor what we’re hearing, and take actions based on faith, not fear.

So, here is to loving ourselves through the discomfort.

On the other side is peace. And *bliss*.

With love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Now, to be mischievous in dating and relating…

Again, a reminder that what we’re doing here is tricking ourself into ACTING outside the box. That’s where the amazing results lie.  It strips you from your boxed-in ways and allows your Higher Self to express and attract.

Being intentionally mischievious with yourself simply has you suprised at YOU.  It can take the form of wearing a dress to an event that you wouldn’t normally, maybe even running errands -or changing your make up (go get it done at a counter & buy the lipstick).    It can also be handing your card to someone you’re chatting with (if you never have), or better yet – asking him out!   Personally, I felt so liberated (and a little ‘out of control’ aka my ‘comfy zone’ - the clue that you’re on to something) when I asked Larry, my husband, out for the following night after meeting & talking with him.   I had never asked a guy out!  It worked. 

In dating and relating, this can also be standing in your Truth when you normally don’t.  For instance, your boyfriend typically waits until the last minute to make plans, or assumes you’ll be hanging out all weekend watching games and doing what he wants. It’s been chipping away at your satisfaction in the relationship, and really bothering you. 

Do what would have you feeling mischievous.  I’m a big fan of speaking the truth with successful delivery (read: no nagging, pouting or any other victim-like approach, but calmly and assuredly).  Many women struggle with this, so chances are if you just nip it in the bud and communicate your need directly you’ll be feeling very mischievous!  What else will have you feeling like you’re game is back on, and on fire?  Take a look at other areas where you might be feeling bored or held back: clear physical clutter, style your hair differently, do that 3 day cleanse you’ve had on your list.

Keep surprising yourself- mischieviously.

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

Dear Savvy Woman,

If you want 1 year of Prosperity, grow Seeds

If you want 10 years of Prosperity, grow Trees

If you want a Lifetime of Prosperity, grow your Self Worth.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com