Dear Savvy Woman,

If you’re a woman who’s looking to meet YOUR Mr. Right in 2010, ask yourself a very important question:  Who do I receive my dating & relationship advice from?  

You might realize that you spend a lot or all of your time discussing your dreams, complaints, and dramas with your other single friends who also tend to worry, complain and see the single ‘landscape’ in the same way you do. This can be both comforting and confusing - and frustrating. I know because my clients point to this fact a lot.  We love our friends - and when we’re in a tribe together, facing the same issues and hopes together, there can be a lot of comfort and companionship.  And, sometimes , it can become a soup of  frequent negativity, sublte sabotage, numbing-out and truth-negating.

The ultimate truth of who to date, who to let go of, how to recover your sense of optimism and positive expectancy, how to uncover your dreams and desires and grow them, how to effortlessly attract in a new way, how to navigate the dating and relationship waters with ease, elegance and a lot more fun…..all of these become much more quickly revealed to you when you invest in and apply teachings, advice and guidance from someone who’s both been in your shoes, and is also walking their talk now. Why take relationship advice from someone who’s been chronically unhappy and dissatisfied (we all have our moments, but you know who I’m talking about) and/or never before experienced a healthy relationship? 

Just this weekend a super smart, attractive,  and self-defacatingly funny woman mentioned at a group dinner to me how a guy she recently met randomly texted her something  super non-challant and lame like , ‘Hey chic-ita, whatch you doin?’. I may be married now, but I was dating when texting was becoming the new way to communicate, and I was turned off by any guy who didn’t have the class or cahoneys to pick up the phone and dial my number - especially straight out the gates. We teach people how to treat us (largely by our response to their actions), so if you feel a little (or a lot) deflated by the guy who jumps straight into text messaging only - act on your truth.  Ignore the text altogether  if you trust your often correct ‘NO, thanks’ - and if you want to check things out more because he seemed great in-person, simply text him back letting him know you prefer a gentlemanly phone call , with a little winky smiley face (especially if you know your weakness is succumbing a little too soon to someone who is likely to be unworthy of your beautiful self).

See, we grow accustomed to our environments, and we become them. In this case, we get use to the text culture, and we start off a relationship with a bare minimum of communication and courtship.  Then we don’t experience what we so desire - we don’t get the results we seek - and we wonder what we need to do differently.   When this woman shared this little story, a few of the guys at the table were  gulping a  little about my hand up to this text, but they knew what was true: when a man really likes a woman, he wants to impress her, and will likely call or email her rather than lobb off a six word text re-introducing himself.  And if he’s a good guy, if you ever so faintly need to ’slap his hand’, in this case giving him a chance to start over with you by letting them know this kinda approach ain’t cutting it, he’ll quickly course-correct and receive your request with openness and …refreshment.

Who’s giving you your relationship advice?  I know you want to be courted and to feel attractive and appreciated - and adored. Don’t settle for what your heart knows isn’t quite cutting the mustard.  Only seek guidance, advice  and teaching from those that have both been in your shoes before, and are now where you want to be. 

Want to jump-start in a BIG way in your love life in 2010 - and receive an over-haul in your dating and relationship results? I have a special invitation offer for an in-depth private day with me - feel incredibly clear, prepared, excited, refreshed and made-over after this Love Life Breakthrough Day.  I’ll walk you through the 7 step process I’ve designed based on my personal relationship evolution and all of my coaching and client experience. January 12th - tomorrow - is the last day to reserve YOUR PRIVATE RETREAT with me.   Learn more HERE on how to transform yourself - inside and out - to get new results and to receive the relationship that’s waiting for you!

To your love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Like what you read? Get more authentic dating, love and relationship tips by signing up for my newsletter. It’s totally free. Check it out HERE.

Dear Savvy Woman,

On the road to attracting your beloved - boyfriend, partner, or husband – there’s a process of shedding.  Sometimes it’s an organic process of conscious elimination of what we already know to be true based on past experience.  For example, in my twenties I seemed to find myself in relationships with men that I somehow ended up needing to fix or control.  They seemed to be a few steps ‘behind’ me in life, in a literal sense.  As I entered my late twenties and early thirties, I was very conscious of desiring a relationship where I felt more challenged and ‘called forth’ to be a bigger and better person by my partner.  

Sometimes we are not aware of what needs to be shed from our life in order to attract in what we desire, in this case, YOUR Mr. Right.  This is one reason why working with a mentor or coach pays incredible dividends.  Many clients have these incredible ‘Ah-ha!’s with me when we dive in, because we look at other areas of their life where there are less-than  desired results, or struggle, and we identify common denominators that require attention – and  change. They’re often very surprised that things are as connected as they are.  Shedding is being called – and it’s often not directly related with what is perceived to be related to love, dating, and relating.   As soon as something is eliminated – a behavior, a belief, a person, an attachment – room opens up for NEW - aliveness, good energy, growth – relationship.

As you desire YOUR Mr. Right, become more and more curious about what may need to shed within you, or within your life.  The most important step in this process is to take action despite whatever fears or doubts come up.  The Universe responds to action, and OFTEN it’s the actions that are not easily SEEN, but will be FELT and known by YOU (eliminating a limiting belief, a change in how you feel internally, etc.) that are the wham, shazam!..actions that change your life.

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m talking with many women who are looking for their Mr. Right.  One thing that I notice that’s in their way - in a BIG way - is that they are lacking BELIEF. 

Now, don’t be fooled by the simplicity here.  Yes, we hear these beliefs all the time. We all hear from people that we talk to and know in our lives (even if you don’t specialize in this area like I do)  that ‘it’s hard out there’….’relationships don’t last’….’it’s not possible to focus on my career AND be in a healthy, vibrant relationship’….’being single over X age takes WORK’….ETC.  

These are all BELIEFS.   And a belief is simply a thought that has been repetitive enough within someones mind and being that it has been more permanently ‘grooved’ into a belief, like a woodworker carves grooves design into a piece of work, with stroke after stroke of their knife.

What’s essential is to realize that :

1) You are always at CHOICE with what you BELIEVE to be true.

2) Doing everything that it takes to re-create & live into BELIEFS  that support what you DESIRE in your life is non-negotiable.  It’s a MUST.

The truth is, you will continually meet resistance when you have a conflict between something you DESIRE, and the BELIEFS that you hold relating to that desire.   This area of life, love and relationships, works just like health, wealth, or beauty.  If you desire to make a million dollars, yet you don’t truly believe that it’s possible for YOU, you will struggle, and meet resistance, and have a hell of a time attracting that million dollars into your life.   If you desire to feel truly beautiful, but you don’t believe that you are beautiful, you won’t feel, embody nor exude your beauty.

My work with clients involves having them look at themselves and what they are doing , surrounding themselves with, focusing on, etc to support the CHANGE  that they want in their life. This involves detoxing and re-creating their  BELIEFS.   Sure, they can take the right ‘actions’ : date online to meet new men, extend themselves socially as much as possible, up-level their look to feel new and attractive, and truly let go of their past.  BUT, if they are doing all of these things yet they DON”T believe it’s really gonna happen - it’s not going to - at least not as effortlessly as they wish it would.  It may start and stop, or rev up and then burn out quickly, but they will continue to struggle in this area and have a much slower & difficult time meeting their guy.

And let this inspire you, because the really cool thing is that this is a key that unlocks so much.   So, it’s time for a little tough-love ladies, from me to you.   I want you to have an amazing time in this experience of growth and change as you attract YOUR Mr. Right.   So, take inventory of what you are investing in all the time- what  beliefs you are holding. 

And if you’re local to SF, I’m hosting a FREE talk on Navigating the Holidays as you find YOUR Mr. Right, Sunday evening 12/6.   Save a seat, and relax as you experience a focused hour on why it’s so important to believe, and to feel MAGNETIC - especially this magical holiday season.  I can’t wait!  RSVP by clicking HERE.  

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Now, to be mischievous in dating and relating…

Again, a reminder that what we’re doing here is tricking ourself into ACTING outside the box. That’s where the amazing results lie.  It strips you from your boxed-in ways and allows your Higher Self to express and attract.

Being intentionally mischievious with yourself simply has you suprised at YOU.  It can take the form of wearing a dress to an event that you wouldn’t normally, maybe even running errands -or changing your make up (go get it done at a counter & buy the lipstick).    It can also be handing your card to someone you’re chatting with (if you never have), or better yet - asking him out!   Personally, I felt so liberated (and a little ‘out of control’ aka my ‘comfy zone’ - the clue that you’re on to something) when I asked Larry, my husband, out for the following night after meeting & talking with him.   I had never asked a guy out!  It worked. 

In dating and relating, this can also be standing in your Truth when you normally don’t.  For instance, your boyfriend typically waits until the last minute to make plans, or assumes you’ll be hanging out all weekend watching games and doing what he wants. It’s been chipping away at your satisfaction in the relationship, and really bothering you. 

Do what would have you feeling mischievous.  I’m a big fan of speaking the truth with successful delivery (read: no nagging, pouting or any other victim-like approach, but calmly and assuredly).  Many women struggle with this, so chances are if you just nip it in the bud and communicate your need directly you’ll be feeling very mischievous!  What else will have you feeling like you’re game is back on, and on fire?  Take a look at other areas where you might be feeling bored or held back: clear physical clutter, style your hair differently, do that 3 day cleanse you’ve had on your list.

Keep surprising yourself- mischieviously.

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

Dear Savvy Woman,

What if you knew that…..

• you are right where you are suppose to be , right this minute
• you can’t make a mistake, because there are none -life is comprised of continual lessons
• you only have control over yourself, and your reactions
• you are absolutely, purely, completely loved, as you are - always

Would you date differently?

Might you feel ….

• lighter, looser, and more accepting of YOU?
• more courageous to show up on dates and in relationship in a very true, bright and bold version of YOU?
• safe to explore desires, honor and develop boundaries, and express YOURSELF?
• LOVED?

Read this over again.  Feel into this.  Then, step into this on your next date, or if in relationship, your next interaction with your sweetie.  Slip into this mental state.  This is pure TRUTH.  This is WHAT IS.  We just forget.   And then we remember.   When we ACT from this place, it is pure BEAUTY and STRENGTH.   Soooooo LOVELY.   You get to  RELAX.   Watch what happens.

Ahhh…..

With love,

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Stones & colors: Iridescent shades; metallic; light blue; light green stones of clear and dense properties

Oils & incenses: Patchouli; comfrey; dill; thyme; bay laurel; berries

Mercury and Neptune combined in retrograde motion calls for looking, not just back, but deep within, and, also beyond the mundane. Finding a link to the greater consciousness and a common denominator within humanity will help to open doors of evolution during these times.

Be reaching back and journeying, maybe through astral travel, you will find original intents and purposes of your spirit and collective soul groups. You are in a time now to have revealed to you the answers to many mysteries that have been veiled in time for centuries.

The truth and the wisdom are there and the time for it to emerge is now. Let this be your guiding force to a safer and more abundant and secure lifestyle.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

 I’m a little exhausted today. Yesterday, yours truly celebrated her 37th birthday.  Sure, why not, I’ll throw out the number.  I’m not afraid.  After all, it’s just a number.  It’s all of my life experiences rolled up into a big-small-in between number, whatever your perspective happens to be at the time that you look at it - right?

I had a wonderful day.  It was perfect. It was a combination of family and friends, pampering and purpose, with celebration weaved throughout.  Spoken - or written - like a true Taurus.  = )

Birthday = Birth Day, is marked annually, however I want to share with you an important reminder: EVERY DAY we are given a NEW DAY -  each day we have an opportunity to begin a-new, to start again, and  so,  we are truly living our BIRTH DAY every day.   I’ve just reached my 37th year, and that means that I have really celebrated  13, 505 birth days.

13, 505

Yowza.  That’s a lot of days!  Hmmm….I might like the 37 number a bit better = ).

But, back to the reason for this post.  Every day is our BIRTH DAY.   Every day we are at CHOICE to begin a-new.  How fabulous is that?   Can you feel into the truth of that?  Truly?  

Because it’s the fact, jack.  We don’t have to wait for our official birthday to come around.  We can celebrate ourselves every day.  We can choose to honor ourselves every day.  We can consciously make choices that support our desires and vision, we can infuse fun and celebration into our days, and we can take inventory of all that we are grateful for and for all that we are. 

Wait a second.  As I write this, I’m thinking about the reality that each day is a birth day.  Each day is a day to begin a-new.  So, scratch the 13, 505 number for me, would you?    I’m acutally at 1.

Happy Birth Day.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

I’ll never forget the day. I walked out of my then boyfriend’s place, who lived 3,000 miles from me, calling the airline and catching a flight days earlier than I was scheduled to travel home.  The customer representative must have been whispered to by an angel.  I hear her on the other end of the line say, ‘Yes, Ms. Stewart, it’s your lucky day. I can get you on this flight. And …it looks like there is a gentleman sitting next to you.  Hopefully he’s available and attractive…(giggle).”  How did she know that I had just learned (unverified at that time, but I knew) that my boyfriend had been cheating on me and that I was feeling all of an inch tall??  I took this as a sign, a sign that despite walking out with no notice (like he deserved any!?) which I was sadly questioning at that moment, and feeling like my heart and soul had gone bankrupt overnight, there was a Greater Plan. I’m certain that it was the reassuring tone in her voice that helped me to move on and fly home that day, rather than collapse in fear and despair, and denial.

Why am I sharing this with you?  Well, I heard Christina Agluiera’s, “Fighter”, on the radio the other day, and it took me back to this time and particular experience in my life, and the learning that resulted. After all of that went down, she would come on the radio, singing this song, and I would turn it up and sing along, feeling her anger, her resolve and her strength.  It was the injection that I needed at the time; a ‘surface’ ointment to help my healing wound.

 After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you’re wrong
Cause if it wasnt for all that you tried to do, I wouldn’t know
Just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
Cause it [Chorus:]
Makes me that much stonger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for makin me a fighter

I am always a sucker for silver linings, this is for sure. I didn’t see one at the time, but years later, I revel in the absolute sterling quality of it.  At the time, this song helped me to feel my anger, both at him and at myself, and to acknowledge that there was a hard line now being drawn: no more hiding behind someone else and settling for less than I deserved.  The song reminds me of all the Greater Plans of life. I don’t get the same charge that I did even several years afterward, when I would hear it come on the radio. Today when I hear it, it’s as if my wiser self lovingly nudges my old, younger self (an oxymoron, but accurate) and says, “See Les, I told you the Greater Plan would present itself.”  

For all of you Savvy women who are questioning the ‘WHY?’ around a failed relationship, or event, that is leaving you feeling great loss, anger, despair – please know that I feel your pain - I truly empathize. I hope you find solace in the cliché and Truth: things happen for a reason. There always is a Greater Plan.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

We want to hear whispers of sweet nothings in our ears (nothings? scratch that, sweet Somethings).  Let us read this affirmation from Louise Hay (You Can Heal Your Life) as a reminder of where it all begins and ends. With ourselves.

Print this. Post it. Read it morning and night. Notice what happens.

In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole and complete.

I live in harmony and balance with everyone I know.

Deep at the center of my being, there is an infinite well of love.

I now allow this love to flow to the surface.

It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied.

The more love I use and give, the more I have to give.

The supply is endless.

The use of love makes me feel good; it is an expression of my inner joy. I love myself; therefore, I take loving care of my body. I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages, I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy.

I love myself; therefore, I provide myself a comfortable home, one that fills all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.  I fill the rooms with the vibration of love so that all who enter, myself included, will feel this love and be nourished by it.

I love myself; therefore, I work at a job I truly enjoy doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities, working with and for people I love and who love me, and earning a good income.

I love myself; therefore, I behave and think in a loving way to all people for I know that which I give out returns to me multiplied.

I only attract loving people into my world, for they are a mirror of what I am.

I love myself; therefore, I forgive and totally release the past and all past experiences, and I am free.

I love myself; therefore, I live totally in the now, experiencing each moment as good and knowing that my future is bright and joyous and secure, for I am a beloved child of the Universe, and the Universe lovingly takes care of me now and forever more.  All is well in my world.

From my savvy heart to yours,

Leslie

The Savvy Woman’s Love Coach

www.BeLoveSavvy.com