Dear Savvy Woman,

If you’re watching ‘The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love’  did you catch last week’s Girls Tell All segment? I just got to it over the weekend.  Here’s what I find to be a few great love and relationship insights (I’ll bypass the drama) from two of the season’s favorite ladies:

First, Gia’s ability to see that she was able to open her heart more from being on the show, and her clear intention that she shares on the segment to express herself and open herself even more to love with the next guy.

I loved that!  The ability to see the gap between who you were and who you are now - as the result of taking new actions and risks - is HUGE, whether it be in love, or anything else.   Often as a coach I notice stuck energy and repeated patterns holding a client back due to their inability to brush themselves off, pat themselves on the back for trying, and move on with clear intentions- and a smile.  Gia exemplifies this so well, and here’s the thing: energy doesn’t lie. If you watched this you really GOT that she meant what she says, vs. some of the other women who are coached to be light and say the right things…and you GET that they’re not really aligned with it.  This is what we pick up on from each other when we’re meeting, dating and relating…

And , if you watched this, didn’t you love some of the realizations/statements from Ali?  First, she stated that she believes that ‘our lives are defined by the risks that we take.’   Hearing this makes you sit back and assess how much you’re stepping out in your life and risking , doesn’t it? Me too!  Heck, we all get complacent and comfortable.  And Ali’s comfort zone was in her work, as she shared.  She said that she often would hide out in work to avoid feeling her feelings. Can you relate? I can!  I can also relate to hiding out in a relationship in order to avoid work! Or myself!  I hope she’s really proud of herself for taking the huge risk of  going on the show…

Ali leaves the show by making the decision to keep her job versus lose it to stay in the running and potentially get a ring from the Bachelor, Jake.  She shares on this segment that she regretted this…that she would have ideally gotten the ring, and then if necessary, ‘fought like hell to get my job back.’   Hindsight is a b*tch, isn’t it. Ali states her awareness of the fact that she should be as serious and committed to finding love as she has been to her career.  I’m sure many watching could relate to her wanting to hang on to her beloved job (and apartment), and the wish that if the love between she and Jake were this real, he’d come get her back!  Why can’t we have it all, right?  This is a show, of course, with Jake also professing to be in love with several other women competing.  In the real world, sans the show’s requirements and distractions, perhaps Jake would have done just that. 

I believe that we can have it all, but sometimes not all at the same time.  Sometimes the job might have to take a back burner, your personal time might have to adjust some for love, and you must get out of your comfort zone if you want to create some magic in life.  And other times, it will be your guy and your yummy-time takes a back burner for career and personal demands. We want it all, but we resist changing  anything (important, or habitual) in order to have it!

What do you think? 

To your love,

XO

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

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Dear Savvy Woman,

This holiday, I’ll be visiting my family in the East Bay with my husband Larry, and then Christmas morning we’ll do stockings (love stockings!) & have brunch with friends before heading to ice skate – a fun new tradition of ours – at the outdoor rink in downtown SF.

But it wasn’t always this way.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was really struggling in dating & relationships.

I can remember one particular Christmas I rushed from celebrations with my family to hurry back to the city to meet up with my then boyfriend. We were going to have a special lunch and gift-exchange.  I handed him 5 gifts to his one for me, after which he scooted out to quickly deliver gifts to some friends visiting from out-of-town, without so much as an invitation to join him. 

I sat on his couch, fighting back tears as I waited for him to return, feeling so pathetic. I longed to be in a relationship where I didn’t have to fight for adoration, respect – or introductions on Christmas Day.

Sadly, it took me well over 6 more months before I finally decided I’d had enough of that. One day I summoned up the courage to stop the endless cycle of disappointing relationships and start doing things differently.

I started by reading a gazillion relationship books, going to seminars and let me tell you, weeding out all the fluff wasn’t easy. But in time I did find the gems and started getting better results in my love life. Most importantly I finally began to understand that dating & relationships could be so much more than what I’d ever believed to be possible.
 
Soon I began to experience an entirely new love life full of ease, fun, and a feeling of being much more in-control. Not long after my new mindset and improved self-confidence, I met the love of my life and now husband, Larry.

I’m sharing this with you because I don’t think it needs to take YOU that long.  In fact, you do not have to read a gazillion relationship books or go to countless seminars (I’ve done it for you!). Nor do you need to spend years trying to figure out why you haven’t found Mr. Right.

I have designed my own 7 step system for finding true love based on all of my experience and the simple, authentic dating strategies that empower you.

As a Love and Relationship Coach, I help women who are ready for a fulfilling relationship find true love. I work exclusively with women who are ready to do things differently and get better results in their dating and love life. I help them make better choices in men (no more repeating the same patterns!), date with confidence and fun, and how to ultimately find true love.

But many women come to me wanting big results fast, yet don’t have the time or financial resources to engage in working with me for months.  And working with me in a group setting doesn’t give them the personalization or jump start that they want and need.

In light of this, and in remembering my own past Holiday Relationship Blues, I would like to invite you to experience a big Breakthrough in your dating & love life.  I’d like to personally teach you the steps that I took, once I decided I was ready for true love. 

Introducing… Love Life Breakthrough Day.

What I’m offering is an entire day devoted to getting brand-new, life-changing real results in your dating & love life.  This will be a private, personalized Jumpstart program to improve what you’re currently experiencing in your love life.

What’s possible in your Breakthrough Day is…

• Your True Love Road Map.  This unique Road Map will help you easily recognize who to date, who to avoid, who and what to let go of, and what you truly need and want in relationship. It will serve as the foundation for all your love life decisions.

• A Personalized Dating Assessment – I’ll help you figure out if you’re presenting yourself in the best possible way (online and offline), what isn’t working for you and what to do about it, and how to experience feeling attractive, open, and confident as you navigate the world of dating. (Whether you’re newly divorced and ready to get back into the game or been at it for awhile without great results.)

• A Magnetize Your Image Mini-Makeover -  We’ll look at your overall style & image, including the colors you wear and favorite go-to dating/social outfits AND transform you into feeling and being more uniquely beautiful, attractive and desirous not only to yourself, but to YOUR Mr. Right.

• Private, In-Person Love Life Coaching with Me – This entire day will be devoted to clearing the blocks to letting love into your life, you will be much more clear, confident & truly prepared for your true love to come in to your life, quickly & effortlessly.

• Special Lunch Dining Out - I’ll take you to one of my favorite gourmet restaurants for lunch, where you can choose to receive personalized coaching and dating insights on how to dine and date with confidence, style and authenticity.

• A fabulous goodie bag of my favorite love and relationship magnetizing tools, valuable gifts & resources that I only share with my private clients.

• Two follow-up Love Life Coaching Sessions, scheduled within 30 days of our work together to ensure your progress and provide the accountability that you want.

I have a maximum of three Love Life Breakthrough Days open in January, and I have so much fun planned for you because I absolutely love to dive-in and create amazing, big and FUN change in women’s love lives.

Doing this Breakthrough Day will require you to get a little out of your comfort zone in the best possible way in order to get new results. Yet you’ll feel like you’re hanging out with one of your best, wisest girlfriends while experiencing a very, very productive day.

The investment for this packaged session is $997.00 if you sign up within the next 30 days. You can choose between making one payment in full, or a convenient two-payment option. Either way, the full investment in your love life is due before your scheduled Breakthrough Day.

If you’d like to have a session with me to learn more, discuss what’s going on in your love life and find out if this is right for you – before saying yes – I absolutely understand. 

So here’s what I suggest: Click here to book an intro session with me for only $87.  You will automatically receive access to my online schedule to immediately choose a time that works for you. This is also my way of making sure I can be of help to you. While I sent this offer to everyone on my list, I can’t possibly accept everyone. Just like you, I like to be sure that my clients are a good fit for me and for them

And if you decide to move forward and experience the Love Life Breakthrough Day with me, you can apply your session investment to the payment option you choose, so it’s truly a win-win for you. 

Ready to get started?  Click here to book your Love Life Breakthrough Day. 

Here’s to finding true love in 2010 (if not sooner!),

Leslie

PS – I realize some of you may want to skip the intro session and book your Love Life Breakthrough Day right away. That’s no problem. Just book the session here and leave me a note that you’re ready for the breakthrough right away and I’ll move you to the front of the queue. Here’s that link again.  

 www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Love & Relationship Coach

Dear Savvy Woman,

I’m talking with many women who are looking for their Mr. Right.  One thing that I notice that’s in their way - in a BIG way - is that they are lacking BELIEF. 

Now, don’t be fooled by the simplicity here.  Yes, we hear these beliefs all the time. We all hear from people that we talk to and know in our lives (even if you don’t specialize in this area like I do)  that ‘it’s hard out there’….’relationships don’t last’….’it’s not possible to focus on my career AND be in a healthy, vibrant relationship’….’being single over X age takes WORK’….ETC.  

These are all BELIEFS.   And a belief is simply a thought that has been repetitive enough within someones mind and being that it has been more permanently ‘grooved’ into a belief, like a woodworker carves grooves design into a piece of work, with stroke after stroke of their knife.

What’s essential is to realize that :

1) You are always at CHOICE with what you BELIEVE to be true.

2) Doing everything that it takes to re-create & live into BELIEFS  that support what you DESIRE in your life is non-negotiable.  It’s a MUST.

The truth is, you will continually meet resistance when you have a conflict between something you DESIRE, and the BELIEFS that you hold relating to that desire.   This area of life, love and relationships, works just like health, wealth, or beauty.  If you desire to make a million dollars, yet you don’t truly believe that it’s possible for YOU, you will struggle, and meet resistance, and have a hell of a time attracting that million dollars into your life.   If you desire to feel truly beautiful, but you don’t believe that you are beautiful, you won’t feel, embody nor exude your beauty.

My work with clients involves having them look at themselves and what they are doing , surrounding themselves with, focusing on, etc to support the CHANGE  that they want in their life. This involves detoxing and re-creating their  BELIEFS.   Sure, they can take the right ‘actions’ : date online to meet new men, extend themselves socially as much as possible, up-level their look to feel new and attractive, and truly let go of their past.  BUT, if they are doing all of these things yet they DON”T believe it’s really gonna happen - it’s not going to - at least not as effortlessly as they wish it would.  It may start and stop, or rev up and then burn out quickly, but they will continue to struggle in this area and have a much slower & difficult time meeting their guy.

And let this inspire you, because the really cool thing is that this is a key that unlocks so much.   So, it’s time for a little tough-love ladies, from me to you.   I want you to have an amazing time in this experience of growth and change as you attract YOUR Mr. Right.   So, take inventory of what you are investing in all the time- what  beliefs you are holding. 

And if you’re local to SF, I’m hosting a FREE talk on Navigating the Holidays as you find YOUR Mr. Right, Sunday evening 12/6.   Save a seat, and relax as you experience a focused hour on why it’s so important to believe, and to feel MAGNETIC - especially this magical holiday season.  I can’t wait!  RSVP by clicking HERE.  

From my savvy heart to yours ~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

There comes a time in our lives when we discover that we need to change our approach - we need a transformation.  If we are waking up more to ourselves, our lives, and our desires - this time comes - sooner or later.  Whether it’s how we earn a living, how we approach love, how we navigate our friends & family, or how we change our health & bodies. 

The focus of BeLoveSavvy.com is helping women attract the relationships – and lives – that they deeply desire.  Now more than ever before we are being guided to more meaning in our lives, and for many of us, relationships are what matter most. Clearing away the clutter is a significant part of the process that I lead women through, and I don’t just mean the visible kind.

On the surface (and where most people place ALL of their focus) , the clutter-clearing is about getting real with themselves about their outer actions – are they still sleeping with someone out of loneliness or false-hope that one day they’ll get on track together?  Are they sabotaging opportunity for what they really want in their lives as they go about their day to day and respond in fear rather than in self-love?  Fear has us in a mind-set and action that takes us away from what we truly desire, and often we have no idea because our ‘outer actions’ have us ‘doing all the right things!’.  So why he is…why aren’t they…why is it so hard….why me… believe me, I’ve been here myself many, many times and am still here at times with areas of my life.

Opposite of the surface things, I have clients get really clear about one thing that is below the surface: the decision & commitment to Feel Good.  Sound easy?  It’s not always so easy, which is why anyone who is wanting a transformation in some area of their life must do two things for success: 1) Do things differently 2) Remain accountable to doing things differently (including the WHAT & the WHY), often by having a mentor or coach (rather than a relative,  friend or colleague).

So what’s so magical about this ‘Feel Good’ thing?  Does this ______ have me feeling good is a defining question for many important things on the path to attracting love & fulfilling relationships.   Does this thought (‘There are virtually no available men in the city that I’m interested in’) have me feeling good about being single as I desire relationship – Yes or No?  Does this action (doing something that we didn’t want to do but are doing it out of obligation) have me feeling good?  Does this focus of conversation have me feeling good? Does this reaction I’m having to X have ME feeling good – truly feeling good?

Problem is, many of us, especially women, don’t get taught to make our first priority to Feel Good – and I mean deeply, authentically, lovingly-to-us Feel Good.  We become conditioned to taking care of others needs or living into others beliefs of what we should do or who we should become.  As a result, we get more and more distanced to our Feel Goods, which buoy & build us up.  On autopilot & reactionary, our belief and momentum is chipped away, despite all the ‘outer actions’ of ‘doing all the right things’ as we approach love & relating.  Or, some might say, no, my problem is I’m too selfish to consider anyone else’s needs or wants, which is why I’m alone.  I would challenge this statement by asking them if being selfish has them feeling good.  Really deeply, authentically, loving-to-her feeling good?  Look underneath, and determine if selfish = fear, or selfish = focus for myself.  When we are focused for ourselves, in positive and inclusive  ways, it’s super ATTRACTIVE.  And acknowledging that being selfish out of fear isn’t a powerful way to attract what you want (our ego fools us to think it is…it’s a way to get what we ultimately want, when in fact it repels and keeps us separate).  Being incredibly clear, decisive & committed to Feeling Good is what we are each here on this planet to do. It clears the clutter.  And the bonus is, it only can lead us to those pots of gold that we are deeply in search of!

To your ravishingly authentic, beauty &  soul-filled FEEL GOOD’s ~

Love,

Leslie

http://www.belovesavvy.com/

Enjoy this? Sign up for my Ezine for inspiration and soulful strategies on love, life, and success: www.BeLoveSavvy.com/articles.htm

Is this you? If it is, you want to keep reading.  I say self-aware because a conscious woman is a savvy woman! She is knowing (one of the Webster’s definitions of savvy).   She also understands that her awareness of herself, what she wants, and generally of life keeps growing , and, harnessing this is life and LOVE-affirming, and life-changing!

So, if you are a single woman local to the SF area, and ready to up-level her love, relationships and life, I invite you to join the Love & Success circle. Find out more about these circles here.

What I know to be true is that whatever we want in life is both an inside & outside job.  What we believe is what we get, especially what we believe is possible, and what we believe about ourselves.  Not to say it’s about sitting Indian-style for hours in meditation. Far from!  But, what we focus on, what we put into our minds, what energy we put behind our actions, and what and who we surround ourselves with all contribute to our results in life.  When we work with these pieces, we feel bigger.  And when we feel bigger, we act bigger (just as small thinking and feeling leads to small actions).

So if you’re doing the same things, thinking the same things, and giving attention and energy to the same things - and BE-ing the same = you’ll get the same results. If a woman thinks she’s doing everything possible to ‘find a man’ by being online constantly and out 5 nights a week, BUT her mind-set and energy are self-defeating, she might be busy but she is not likely to attract what she most deeply desires in a sustainable way.

Bookmark into your life (2) meetings a month (click here for more info) with me and other savvy women, and receive guidance, resources and accountability to change your life in a powerful way. Challenge yourself in a safe enviroment.  Become accountable in new ways.  Step into amazing energy.  Warning: skeptics, tire-kickers, or silver-bullet- only -please ladies are allowed, however. It won’t be your thing. This is about taking full responsibility for your own results in a feel-good yet productive way. 

Are you ready to be inspired, quiet out that negative ‘group-think’ that’s so pervasive, and take things to a new level?  You can send Donna an email for details, questions, or to schedule a brief chat with me here: assist@belovesavvy.com.

Here’s to new change this Fall.

From my savvy heart to yours~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

My work with clients often has a component to it of helping them do things differently - largely, it’s about doing things differently (we all need guidance from those that have been there before as we step out, I know I do).  As they say in the famous definition of insanity, something to : doing the same things the same way and expecting different results.

The other night I went to the bookstore and rather than hunting down some books I had on my list to read, I just let myself browse. After all, I was in a bookstore to do that, and not just clicking through on Amazon.com to get what I needed.  And I mention this for a reaon, as there is such a gift to just watching where our attention and energy takes us rather than always being on a mission and ‘following guidelines’ = in this case, picking up certain books.  It lets you play more, and be creative and open.

So that night I stumbled on the book Personal Power through Awareness (Sanya Roman).  And I want to share with you something extremely important about your future, that she writes about. I just sent a newsletter yesterday (are you signed up?  www.BeLoveSavvy.com/articles.htm) on this topic as it’s been up for a lot of my clients  - and for all of us in the world at this time especially, I think. 

“Every time you think of the future you project energy into it, even if you mumble, ” I never get things done,” or “I don’t know why this happened to me,” or “I wish I hadn’t done it.” Every comment you make is directing energy towards the past, the present or the future. If you could become aware of even one hundredth of the thoughts you are sending out into the future, and evolve them, within a month you would know delight that exceeds all of your pictures (in your mind) today. Every single statement you make about yourself, to a friend or even to yourself becomes a truth. You project energy at every moment. If you want a better future, speak of it, picture it, say it to others. Only you can create for yourself what you want. It is the greatest power, honor and gift you have ever been given.”

To your love & success,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

If you’re inspired and affirmed by Astrology and Intuitive & Soulful resources such as Archetypes, you must ’meet’ Robert Ohotto if you don’t already know him.   A friend mentioned him to me years ago, he has a weekly radio show on HayHouseRadio.com, and he gives amazing personal readings.

Here is some sage Truth from Robert below that’s very applicable to what I work with women to achieve: a strong and loving relationship with themselves (that gets reflected back to them via their relationships and overall quality of life).

“None of us are defined by the mistakes of our past unless we believe we are. What defines us is what we’ve learned from them. Don’t let shame keep you hostage to what you’ve done. Love yourself — give up your old story lines and breathe in the present moment freedom of claiming your highest potential. You are worthy of being renewed.”

-Robert Ohotto

Here is to loving ourselves and being RENEWED~

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Happy Friday, and to those of you celebrating the Jewish New Year, Happy New Year!

For this final post  on tips, truths and tricks to navigate dating and relating, I’m sharing an article I recently wrote for www.SavvyAuntie.com, Melanie Notkin’s very savvy site dedicated to the lifestyle of PANKs, Professional Auntie No Kids, where I’m a regular contributor. 

Tip #5 ~  Unleash Your Inner Self-Care Vixen!

I’m SO, SO passionate about this topic because it’s the foundation for not just successful dating and relating, but simply for making the most of your life in every area.   When don’t feel good we show up in a more limited way than when we  feel good about ourselves. 

Here’s what I’m talking about: http://tinyurl.com/qa6roz

Big love,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Truth #4 ~ Our Relationships are only as ever healthy as WE are

Just a friendly little reminder here.  ;-) We might not realize that sometimes we are blaming our partner when we’re not happy or pointing the finger outward when things go south. And, we can also do this when a relationship is wonderful, and give the other person recognition without patting ourselves on the back, too.   Truth is, relationships are mirrors (ouch! sometimes this is so tough to acknowledge), and as a wise soul once said to me, “Our relationships are only ever as healthy as WE are”.  What we believe to be true about ourselves, we will have reflected back to us by others, including and especially with the VIP in our lives. 

XO,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com

Dear Savvy Woman,

Tip # 4 ~  Always play an honest game of cards without revealing your entire hand

I notice in the dating process - and I was guilty of it too - is that women (and men!) sometimes tend to either show their entire hand by date 4 - ‘I want to be married by X date,  2.5 kids in which the names are already picked by the way, I have a funny habit about X, and I feel really insecure about you going on that boys trip next month’ - or keep their cards so tight to the vest, and cheat through the game, that they repel and sabotage the organic and necessary flow of getting to know someone, and the opportunity to sink into a healthy relationship.  Learning to be somewhere in the middle ensures that you won’t, as Dr. Phil says, risk more than you’re willing to lose, and yet still get - and stay - in the ‘game’.

The more that you listen and trust yourself, the easier it is to navigate this process.

As a beautiful card that I once bought myself says, “Listen from within.  Your heart knows the way.”

xo,

Leslie

www.BeLoveSavvy.com